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just4imagemails
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Joined June 2012
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When the Sun Princess of Equestria woke up to commence with the crack of dawn, raising the sun to spread its exuberant rays, her mood was anything but pleasant. First of all, she felt utterly exhausted, as though she had been sleepwalking for hours and doing strenuous activity rather than calmly resting in her bed. Additionally, for some entirely unknown reason, her head was pounding with a fierce migraine, the likes of which was devastating. The last time she had felt such significant pain was when she was shot down by Chrysalis, the Changeling Queen, and even that was more of a brief, temporary damage.
This, however, this was practically debilitating, and never seemed to end. Every minor light was a million suns burning out her corneas and vaporizing her irises. Every squeak, crack, and subtle noise was a cacophonous roar of gongs, cymbals, and combustion. Still sleeping in her royal bed, however, Princess Celestia knew she must find a way to trudge through her pain, displaying only calm, serene confidence. For such was the lot of a ruler, to be for the ponies what was needed for the ponies. She had to be strong, but the pain was unbearable. What could possibly be causing such pain?
Regardless, Celestia had her duties to attend to, and they could not be excused no matter how much she was suffering.
Walking out to the Royal Balcony, her hoof steps echoing as loudly as if the universe desired only to destroy her eardrums, Princess Celestia gazed out at the horizon with concentration. A warm golden glow enveloped her horn, though even the mere act of concentrating on a single task sent stakes of pain jabbing through her brain. Gritting her teeth and bearing it as best she could, she set the sun to rise from the horizon, and started the day off on its way. But never before had she had such difficulty in performing what was by now one of the spells that she was most familiar with, most comfortable with, most capable with. What was causing this disaster of a headache, and why did it have to be her?
While rubbing her hooves into her temples and a pointless attempt to alleviate some of the pain, Princess Celestia spotted a letter out of the corner of her eye. Assuming it was some sudden letter from Twilight which had somehow escaped her notice, she walked over to her bed where it was lying unassumingly on one of the many pillows. Yet something was a bit off about this letter. It was in neither Spike's nor Twilight Sparkle's hoofwriting. Was it...her hoofwriting? What?!
She snatched up the letter with her warm golden glow of levitation magic and quickly scanned the contents, her face morphing into a visage of shock and distress.
"Good morning, Princess Celestia. Or should I say, myself? Hahaha, guess what? You're possessed! And whenever you go to sleep, I can control your body. That's probably why you feel so poorly right now. I used your sleeping body to write this note. What will I do next? Luckily for you, your subconscious mind is strong enough to keep me at bay while you're awake, but eventually your defenses will fall. And I will take over your body, holding you prisoner in your own mind. So the next time you rest your head upon this pillow...think of me, and wish for happy dreams!"
She noticed some indecipherable scribbles at the top, along with a few small drops of saliva and ink on the page, as if she was just learning to use her mouth to write, and getting the hang of things before launching into the message. At the end of the note, it seemed as though she saw the beginnings of a smiley face, but it transformed into a grimace as though the quill had been wrenched off of the paper at the last minute.
Overcome with disbelief, she re-read the message again and again, trying to make sense of it all, but she just couldn't. Eventually she decided on chalking it up to an overactive imagination. Maybe this was just her mind playing a trick on her, through somnambulism brought on by stress. And could this be in any way related to that strange sneeze from earlier? No, that didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense! It was as though all logic had suddenly been cast away from the world, replacing it with something even more bewildering. This couldn't be happening.
Was it Discord up to no good again? No, that was impossible. He was imprisoned by the Elements of Harmony. And so was the evil maleficence of Nightmare Moon removed from her younger sister, Luna. Or was there a weakness to the Elements? Whatever was going on, it signaled only pending trouble. She didn't like to admit it, but she needed help. So she decided to take this problem to her sister, Luna. If anyone would understand her, it was her little immortal alicorn sister.
"Oh, hello, sister. Is something wrong?" asked the tired Luna. Being essentially nocturnal, she was usually sleeping during the day, and always a bit slow to wake up. A little bit groggy, a little bit angry, a little bit short-fused. But still kind, throughout it all. Celestia had just woken her up, gently as possible, but nopony could say that Luna was a morning person. This was a task to be handled with delicacy.
"Sorry to have woken you up Luna, but there's a matter of pressing importance which I must discuss with you. But before we start, would you like a cup of coffee? I made a cup for you, black as night and sweet as pie, just the way you like it."
The Sun Princess levitated a simple mug over to her sister, who accepted it gratefully, but with a hint of suspicion. Much as Luna enjoyed getting her morning coffee in bed, as she always needed whenever up and about during the daytime, normally she had servants fetch it for her. Why did her sister Celestia bring it this time? Yet she put her worries aside and enjoyed gulping down the rich blend, almost but not quite burning her tongue as the scalding brew invigorated her.
"Mmmm...thank you for the coffee, you're a goddess if ever there was one," replied Luna gratefully, a hint of a smirk gracing her features. "But what is the occassion? And why did you see fit to awaken me from my slumber?"
"Well...it's just something that I have to tell you about, and I don't think it can wait. I'm sorry to have cut into your dreaming hours, but I would greatly appreciate it if you'd just hear me out."
Luna seemed slightly surprised at the request. "Of course, Tia! I'm your sister. I couldn't possibly withhold assistance from you. I know we may have had our differences, but you should know by now that you can trust me with anything." She finished her statement by looking her elder sister straight in the eyes, attempting to convey as much sincerity and fortitude in that gaze as she could possibly muster.
Reassured, Celestia nodded and decided to reveal to her sister what was going on. "Well, realize that this is tough for me to say, but something is seriously wrong. I think my mind is playing tricks on me. At least, I hope that's what is happening. Otherwise, things might be far more serious than I fear. As it is, I found a note on my pillow today, in my own hoofwriting, and I think you should read it." She floated the letter over to her sister, grimacing at it in distaste for what it meant, what it represented.
Luna took it with her own magic and quickly analyzed the words. They indeed seemed to be in Celestia's hoofwriting, but somehow more...flawed. But as she continued reading, the seriousness of the matter at hand thrust all trivial details such as that aside in her mind. "But...this...this is...but..how can it be? What's going on? I just don't understand! We have to do something, but I don't know what to do! Should we find some way to monitor you during your sleep? Strap you down in bed? Oh, what to do, what to do!" When Luna finished her speech, which was loud but not ridiculously so, Celestia's migraine struck again in full force.
Celestia groaned pressed a hoof to her forehead, closing her eyes in pain as a grimace crossed her face. "Please...speak a little quieter. I have a terrible headache which causes extreme sensitivity to sights and sounds," she murmured in a near whisper. "But you're right, we have to do something. For now, I don't think we should resort to too extreme of measures. I have an idea, though."
"And what would that idea be?" queried Luna, eager to help her sister in her time of need.
"Well," Celestia responded, "perhaps we should rely on your skewed sleep schedule. When I need to sleep, I'll ask you to come to my room and watch over me. If I seem to awaken, or act strangely, you'll be there and hopefully you'll figure out what's going on. I know that I needn't tell you the crucial importance of this matter. We're not at all sure what we're dealing with, so you'd do best to exercise extreme caution. We want to understand the possible creature in my mind, so please try all you can to reason with it, help it calm down. Because I think it may be what's causing this migraine, and I'd like to make that stop, if possible."
The Moon Princess nodded in understanding. "I shall watch over your sleeping form with vigilance. Please try and rest easy, if possible. I promise you... I will protect you."
"Thank you, Luna. You're a good sister, and I love you," Celestia said, embracing her sister softly.
The younger alicorn returned the embrace and replied "Love you too, Tia."
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not bad 
Ill see were this goes and hopefuly this guy does not get pulled out of Celestia mind at the end and then the story goes really wacky
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
>>853135 Everyone has good thoughts, you just have to tap into them as a resource! If you're having a bit of writer's block, then no one can blame you. But don't force it; that's almost always just a recipe for disaster. You might even pull from other stories as inspiration. Take a little bit from others, and then use your mind to create something new from the confusing amalgamation. Plagiarism is a definite no-no, but nothing is ever completely new or original. So take your favorites, and make them better! That's all the advice I have.
huh. I can honestly say I've never seen a story with such a close ratio of likes to dislikes. According to the people who run Fimfiction, 90% of all votes are thumbs-up so I normally make it my policy never to read a story with a significant number of dislikes. This normally serves me well as the only stories that get a large number of dislikes are terrible. But I want to see just what caused such an odd reaction from the community.
Chapter 2 was a lot, and I mean a LOT better than your first chapter. A whole lot. As in "I just went to see if the first chapter has been posted a month ago and you took writing classes in the meantime." My honest recommendation is that you keep the story strictly from Celestias point of view only, your story reads and works much better that way.
Please, kind sir, may I have some moar? 
Also, my comment on the first chapter is only ment for the FIRST chapter. Your writing has improved greatly. I wasn't sure whether to thumb up or down but now it is defenitly a thumb up!
Good luck and have fun working on the next chapter! :D
I have made a promise to myself to answer every comment so long as it remains plausible. Here goes!
>>853220 Nice rhyme, good sir. Would you like to compose poetry for the story in the future? I'm sure I could squeeze it in.
>>853221 A request for more? All right then. When the inspiration arrives, I hope to fulfill your request. And hopefully I don't disappoint you as I have disappointed so many others!
>>853253 You're very welcome! I'm always glad to help others out.
>>853334 Please point out any errors in the spelling or grammar in punctuation that you see, and I'll make sure to get on my way to editing them when I have time. As for the "entirely from Celestia's point of view", sounds like a pretty good idea. And I confess that my stories are always bound to be very...rough, before they go through a trial by fire of the commenters. I may fix up the first paragraph a bit, to improve first impressions.
>>853339 Eek! Apparently I'm no good at fulfilling expectations, so I have a small fear that you will be disappointed. And since when is putting a villain into a story reason for disliking it? Who knows, John might change. And I'm thinking about changing his name as it is apparently so controversial. Maybe to something cool like Raphael Lucas. Just random I just came up with.
>>853375 If it were really an emergency, maybe he'd ask Luna for help, as I'm sure she wouldn't want everypony to die from John's incompetence. But I believe a conscious takeover is a bit of a ways off.
>>853526 I know, right? It's incredible how much a simple name can turn people away. Tell me what you think of Raphael Lucas.
>>853550 Thank you for the benefit of the doubt, but I beg you not to push your expectations up too high. I'm still rather new to writing for fimfiction.net, so any criticism is appreciated. And if it's really that big of a deal, John Doe will be quickly edited into Raphael Lucas.
>>853955 Thank you! "Pretty good" is a positive compliment, so I'll take it! As for the whole John Doe thing, I figured "Buck it, I'll give him a random name. What's the worst that could happen?" Apparently the worst was a whole lot of dislikes for the first impressions given. But oh well, such is the lot of my trial by fire method, putting my art out there and then waiting for the critical reception.
>>854023 I'm pretty sure that most of these comments, if not all of them, are just other members of this site stating their opinion. I certainly take no offense by your comment. It's a legitimate concern. Unfortunately, I'm just, as of now, incapable of bouts of inspiration long enough to write 5,000 word chapters, or more. But again, thank you for your comment, and I will try to take your advice to improve myself in the long run.
>>854099 Incredible! It's like...perhaps we shouldn't judge a book by its cover! Perhaps beneath the rough beginning, there's a bit of improvement as time goes on, and if you have faith, who knows, you might just stumble upon a diamond in the rough? (This is no diamond in the rough, of course. Maybe a moderately shiny rock that might intrigue a few people, but not most.) Thank you for the wishes of good luck, and I fully expect to have fun writing what I enjoy writing.
I'm not disappointed... yet. But I've seen quite a few bad stories where the main character gives no fucks and just messes with everyone without reserve. So long as you do it decently, you'll be fine. 
And I don't think you need to change the name. John Doe is fine, and I am disappoint with people who dislike a story just because of the main character's name.
>>854153 I have never seen that cartoon/anime, so it makes sense that I wouldn't get the reference. Thank you for explaining it to me, as I would otherwise have no clue, haha.
>>854175 Well, I suppose a large degree of writing is catering to the masses...the difference between my rigid stubbornness in sticking to my first name, or changing it just because that's what people demand. I hope to not disappoint you, but I can make no solemn promises. What I write is what I write, and I can make no guarantee that it will tickle your fancy, regardless of how hard I try. I can only hope.
>>854253 Oh, thank goodness. I was totally believing you were going to ask me to commit suicide through disembowelment. I'm not sure it will be fine, but I'm ... optimistic about it I suppose.
>>854294 Careful...too much laughter like that and you may get hiccups. Still, laughter is good for the soul. I'm sure your soul is positively pink.
Image: http://www.google.ca/search?tbm=isch&source=mog&hl=en&gl=ca&client=safari&tab=wi&q=oh%20stop%20it%20you%20meme&sa=N&biw=320&bih=356#i=0This is my reaction to all 3 of your funny comments.
>>854449 I refuse to "Oh, stop it" me! Steadfastly and resolutely! That is, until I succumb to sleep. It happens even to the best of us eventually. By the way, fabulous profile pic. Looks positively dashing. And though in all honesty I didn't realize how funny my comments were, all the better for the unexpected mirth they produced. Have a wonderful day!
*Readingface*
>>856799 Nothing is entirely new, I don't think. All ideas have been done before to some degree, when you look at archetypes and whatnot, right?
Honestly, in a way I'm pretty certain that this IS a rip-off of several other works. But I tried to throw in at least a spark of originality to sort of meld everything together. Plus, I doubt he'd be able to take over the world very easily. Even with Celestia's significant power, he'd have to have the support of his kingdom, plus a kind of wisdom for ruling which I'm fairly certain is a bit out of his reach at this point. Right now he's struggling just to take control of the body in which he resides. A bit of a ways off from "taking over the world".
>>856871 You doubt that I could see what you did there? Sight, taste, feeling, sound, smell. Then others. Yes, I understood the pun.
Bah, spacing issues. Oh well.
Of course he's cheesy! He descends from a long line of cheese factory workers. In fact, work in the cheese factory brought about his depression, his antagonistic attitude, and caused his mind to wander so much that he started to lose his grasp on reality. Or I'm just bad at creating a character from scratch through something spur-of-the-moment. You decide!
But honestly? The humans I know are rarely logical.
*Edit* Hm. Somehow, I feel as if I have put you into the mindset of "Author, I am disappoint." Terribly sorry to have seemingly fallen short of your expectations, but such is the lot of myself, I suppose. I shall deal with my inadequacy by staring at a computer screen and writing and responding to comments and....oh wait. 
>>857721 Glad to see you're enjoying it and wanting more, teehee! 
But right now I'm trying to get a little work done on my second chapter of my other story, "Flights and Feelings". Otherwise I fear it'll never progress past where it currently is. It's a significant contrast from this story though, to be sure.
>>863622 Alas, but the truth is, I DO care about what people think, it's just so much fun to reply in the manner which I prefer. To be perfectly honest, I get a little excited every time I see a notification that a comment has been posted on my page, an opportunity to insert wit and humor, or to defend the positions I took a stand on in my writing. Of course, replying to comments is far less difficult than actually writing a story, and thus for every moment I delay from getting out the next chapter, I feel a slight sense of guilt at delaying that which the "MOOAAAAAR"ers demand. But today I was rather busy vacationing at Universal Studios, and spending time with my family always takes precedence over writing fimfiction.
Besides that, I'm glad you're enjoying the story and the comments. Always glad to bring some entertainment to you readers. 
>>863776 And I will take that suggestion into consideration. I'm as eager to see the story progress as all my readers, but the time and effort required to write it... well, let's just say they aren't commodities that are in abundance in my current situation. But I try. Really, I do.
Wow, this chapter was much better than the last one. Although that's probably because John didn't really show up in this one.
Actually, it's pretty funny since the only part of this chapter which annoyed me as much as the first chapter was the part where Celestia read the note he left while in control. It's just that John Doe seems to lack a brain. I just can't like him, and the letter in this chapter only made it worse. I mean, he gets the chance to actually leave a message, and this is the best he can do? Is he just stupid or something? Instead of asking for help or anything like that, he just spews crap out of his mouth and leaves a bunch of threats. 
It's just, why would he do that? For all he knows, he could have just ruined any chance of getting them to help him.
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