Chapter Six: Wispy Doesn't Get It
I couldn't write while surrounded by the beeps and coughs of a hospital ward, but I did come up with some jokes. For example: ask me if I am a duck.
~ Liarra Sniffles
Queen Chrysalis was grumpy.
Perhaps grumpy was is not the right word for the melting pot of simmering fury and frustration bubbling beneath her chitin. for the past day, the changeling queen found herself in battle against the most fearsome of foes. The enemy of all queens everywhere, the only force on this planet to have successfully defeated both alicorn sisters with no hooves. The one force that could withstand the god of chaos and the power of harmony, the unrelenting evil that could chip away at any figure until little but dust remains.
Gritting her remaining sharpened teeth, the queen forced her battered and bruised body back to its feet. Drawing more love from her newest subject, she quickly set about closing the many cuts and scrapes covering her haggard frame. Grimacing at the sound of her hoof snapping back into its socket, she quickly grabbed her mighty sword from its place embedded in the wall, leaving yet another deep gouge slowly bleeding a sinister black liquid in her once perfect throne room.
A roaring challenge erupted from her sore throat as she magically enhanced her tired limbs once again, leaping from the wall using her momentum to her advantage. A barrage of ethereal energy jumped from her jagged and chipped horn, strange green fire rushing to meet the enemy. Her headache came back with vengeance, numbing spells doing little to stop her strained mind and body from screaming in pain. Even her, the ruler of the changelings, defeater of the sun god could not sustain such fierce magic use for so long. Her every move felt like moving through water; sluggish strikes barely connecting with a seemingly tireless foe. For each scar on her throne a hundred of them fell, for each welt on her body a thousand were brought to their knees. The true fearsome power of the changeling queen, filled with an immense amount of love, cast fear into the hearts of those who would oppose her. A wicked sneer formed on her lips as she fought her own body and magic, forcing herself to keep fighting despite its protests as she sensed her foe's weakness.
Thankfully her immense effort paid off, the last foes falling before her last wind fled her. Groaning in pain but with a tired smile she fell to the floor, the last piece of signed paperwork landing in the outbox gently as her metal tipped quill clattered to the ground. Drawing more love from Tourmaline, more for comfort than power, she slowly pulled herself to her hooves. A slightly watery sounding sigh forced its way out of her abused bruised lungs and abused throat, she turned and collapsed onto her bed in an undignified heap.
Everything had been looking up, the hive was well fed and a bustling city was born. Then the paperwork attacked. She didn't know which changeling had started it, perhaps some 'ling who had been impersonating a noble or a politician. Either way, she had woken to find a changeling waiting at her door with a small stack of papers for her to look over. Not questioning where they had gotten the paper, she had foolishly decided to humour the silly bug.
How she came to regret this decision immensely.
She could see the benefit of it, of course, hence why she even put herself through this mental torture. Had each of these changelings had to verbally state their intentions to the queen she would still be half way through the first batch. It was strange, the changelings had already figured out a detailed and rigorous pecking order, almost as though they had been waiting to spring this upon her at the right moment. It seemed clear to the queen now, they sought to gain some measure of control over her by burying her in paperwork. As a master of plotting herself, Chrysalis had to somewhat admire their cunning, clearly some changelings had been living amongst the upper echelons of pony society for too long, their loyalty to the throne slipping as their loyalty to gold rose.
Chrysalis smirked, no sneered. The foals wanted to play in the big bug house eh? Well she would just have to show them how a real master of plots does her business.
Her smirk mellowed into a tired smile at her own joke, the queen moving to sit up as her door opened again. She had seen enough paperwork for ten lifetimes already, hopefully whomever disturbed her next had brought something other than paper, for their own sake. Her back ached as she hauled herself upright, slowly turning to face her new least favourite subject who stood shaking in the doorway.
The tired smile didn't leave her face as she drew her gaze down to the large stack of fresh papers piled beside the changeling, easily reaching the top of his quivering head.
Still with the eerily serene smile on her face, she met his terrified stare; His expression that of a deer standing petrified in the path of an oncoming train. Chrysalis's smile remained unchanged, but something flickered in her eyes. A small puddle of liquid pooled below the changeling as the doors slammed closed behind him, plunging the room into darkness once more.
Maline sat in the newly renamed 'Tourmaline Hall' nursing a cup of punch that had been pushed into her hand by a hyperactive pink pony. She figured the pony was a changeling in disguise due to the insect wings sticking out of her back and the weird antennae on her head, but she had only a moment to get a look at the strange creature before she disappeared somehow into the crowd of changelings covering her new floor. She'd have to ask Wispy to change into a pony for her later, they looked like they might be as adorable as the changelings.
Tourmaline glanced around her newly christened hall. She had fought tooth and nail to remove that horrid name from the glorified bedroom that was now Tourmaline Hall. Like all changeling buildings she had seen so far, bar the queen's, it was comprised of a single, roundish room. The walls had been draped with various dark green blankets, giving the room an admittedly inviting feel. The floor was covered in large cushions and yet more blankets, although seemed to be lacking a primary bed of any kind. Any spot on the floor could feasibly be used as a sleeping spot with minimal discomfort, although Maline would have to get wispy to bring her pod in too as there was something extremely comforting about sleeping suspended in warm goo that she doubted the floor could provide with any number of soft things and snuggle buddies.
The room contained no furniture of any kind, other than the cushions, and was very poorly lit by a single green blob above the door. Neither Maline nor the other changelings seemed to mind this though, their eyes still able to see perfectly fine in the low lighting. Currently the room was jam-packed with changelings, a miniature ocean of black chitin and glistening blue eyes. Most of the conscious ones held plastic cups of their own, and every 'ling had a little red or yellow party hat on. When Maline had gotten over the initial shock of entering the room, it had been hard to stop cooing at the sight of the party clad bugs in their little hats.
Sweeping her gaze across the slowly swarming sea of snugly sillies, Maline stifled a yelp as she came face to face with a grinning changeling. The new arrival was standing on the wall beside her at head height with a somewhat toothy smile on his face. Briefly stunned at the unexpected meeting, Maline shook her head to clear her thoughts and introduce herself as etiquette demanded.
"H-hello, ahem, My name is-" The changeling cut her off, still grinning.
"Maline. No changeling in the whole hive would fail to identify you." The changeling gave her a wink, leaving Maline completely mystified at the intent behind it before returning the greetings in kind. "My name is Typo, pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Maline didn't really like the way Tycho drew out the word 'pleasure' but, as long as he stuck with flirting she supposed it wasn't the worst reaction a changeling displayed to her today. That dubious honour went to a particularly sensitive changeling who had, while tasting her slightly anger tainted love during the argument over the naming of the room, thrown himself to the floor before her and begged for her to "punish me for my sins, my lady!". Very little can derail an argument as effectively as that. Not wanting to let the conversation die in an awkward manner, but not really knowing how to continue from here, Maline bravely attempted to continue the introduction. The grin on Tuber's face was off-putting to say the least.
"Um, you as well Tyrone. I don't..." Maline frowned as Tyler's grin grew slightly. Something was... Off, but Maline couldn't put her finger on it. She could, however, put her finger on the nose of the confusing changeling in front of her, a sneaky way of extracting herself from any iffy social situation that she had been practising on Wispy all afternoon. Moving her arm into attack position, Maline unleashed a decisive strike upon her foe's muzzle, his nose twitching as he curiously sniffed the extended finger while it rocketed towards his exposed snout. The fool didn't know the danger he was in until it was too late, perhaps Wispy's startled gasp tipped him off to the imminent destruction about to be wreaked upon his very soul, but it was too little too late.
"Boop!" Maline and Wispy giggled helplessly, Maline's finger stayed on his nose, pushing it towards his face as it crumpled. Typing scrunched his muzzle to its maximum scrunch, before his grip on the wall gave out and he flopped to the floor on his side. After a brief moment of silence, Wispy broke out into full blown laughter, her cheeky guffaws providing a suitable backdrop to Tumble's death throes.
"If you're gonna play with fire..." Wispy chided.
Once she was sure that he was good and defeated, Maline turned to the other changeling within arms reach. Sensing a malevolent stare upon her, Wispy immediately stopped her tittering and stood, the spines on her head raised in alarm as she fought her fight or flight instincts. Seeing her friend about to flee, Maline quickly retracted her mighty weapon and held up her hands in a calming gesture.
Without a word the two went back to sitting up against the wall and looking out over the party. Barring Timon, none of the changelings present had been able to come up and talk to Maline, making her feel a bit of an outcast at her own party. She knew they didn't mean anything by it, but it didn't help that they mostly conversed to each other in the changeling 'tongue', meaning Maline couldn't make out any real conversations amongst the buzzing bugs. Feeling the walls pressing on her a bit harder than usual, Maline turned to Wispy again.
"Hey, so uh." Maline coughed into the back of her hand. "You're in charge of getting these changelings out of here. I've decided that I'm not one for a party, and I'm getting a bit tired. I'll see you in the pod when you're done?" Maline stood before Wispy could formulate a cohesive objection and strode towards the door, trying her best to be polite about stepping over the various moaning changelings in her way.
Wispy slumped from her half-standing position, looking across the room at the many, many changelings lying on the floor in a stupor. She was honestly surprised that any of them had managed to walk around in the hive without passing out all the time from the love that her tall friend coated the very walls with. Still, this left her with a lot of downed bugs to move.
"...Buck." She sighed. Tylenol responded with nought but a weak gurgle from his position on the floor to her left.
Rainbow 'Danger' Dash tapped her hoof impatiently on the floor at the entrance to her pink friend's room.
"Come on Pinks, I've still gotta go drag Rarity and Flutters out of the spa." The blue Pegasus groaned, putting as much emphasis her need for haste as she could. The Pink mare bounced from one side of the room to the other and back again, picking up various objects and slamming them into a pink suitcase as she flew over it.
"...And a spatula! Done!" Pinkie Pie shoved the straining lid of the case down and closed the latches. Springing to her hooves, she wrapped an leg around Rainbow and pulled her down the stairs of Sugercube Corner, leaving the suitcase on the bed as she went. "Let's go Dashie! No time to waste when my fourth favourite princess calls!" Rainbow gave her a look.
"Fourth favourite? There are only... Hey wait!" Rainbow drew up short when she noticed a distinct lack of pink suitcases upon Pinkie's person. "What where you even packing that bag for?" Pinkie's only response was a smile and a giggle.
"Silly Rainbow, we're going on a trip remember? At first I was only going to pack the essentials, but then I just couldn't leave without at least one extra toothbrush, you never know when an extra toothbrush will come in handy. Of course, Brushington the Second needed to have his own toothpaste as well, or else I'd never hear the end of it! Only then did I realise that I almost didn't pack a towel, you must never leave home without a towel, no towelettes to be found on this extra prepared mare! Of course, then I realised that only a fool would forget-" By the second sentence, Rainbow had completely lost track of where the conversation was going, giving an irritated grunt she stuffed a hoof into Pinkie's mouth, which did nothing to stop her now muffled babbling.
"Nnnh, just forget I- Why are you wearing that?" She pointed an exasperated hoof at the pair of what looked like a pair of bumble-bee antennae sticking out of her mane.
"Ooh, I forgot I was wearing those. This is part of my changeling disguise!" Pinkie cheered, seemingly oblivious to Rainbow Dash's incredulous look.
"I really don't think that would fool anypony Pinkie... Why do you even need a- Forget it!" Rainbow stopped herself before Pinkie could answer, rubbing her temples while she hovered in front of the sugary storefront, Rainbow decided to avoid tempting fate further for the day. "Just go meet the others at the library, I'll go get the other girls."
With a whoosh of her wings, Rainbow was gone, leaving Pinkie to merrily sproink her way to the tree of books that moonlights as a library.
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It's still pretty nice. Poor Torrence, though.
The mental image of an the dazed Cutelings is incredibly adorable and hilarious at the same time.
Poor Chryssie. Paperwork. Paperwork never changes... She should really distribute the work to shine assistants.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
I thought his name was Typo
I do not see an anthro tag.
7963253
His name changes every time, thus his name IS a typo.
7963079
Bureaucracy, the bane of all leaders. Chrysalis might have to wave an olive branch (no! no hitting!) to the Princesses and ask how they managed to deal with the endless paperwork? At the very least, it'll give her an excuse to send in changeling spies to steal the secrets from Marshmallowflanks- er, Celestia. Actually, that sounds like a much more fun changeling idea.
I wonder... would all the changelings switch to whatever language Maline speaks if she asked one to so she could understand them? I'm pretty sure they'd be falling over themselves to keep her happy and pleased considering she is their own Goddess of Food. The pink Princess of Food can go hit the road, the changelings have an upgrade! Heh.
Also, RD should know better than to question Pinkie's ability to craft such a perfect disguise that it makes changelings question their own selves.
p.s. I wonder how Maline would react to the Princesses? Would she want to play with their ethereal manes and tails? Do ponies also flop over
deadhappy when booped? How do steamy bubble baths compare to the warm goo of her cocoon? Could Celestia tempt Maline with cake? What's Maline's opinion on the more commonly served teas at the castle? Is Maline a cheap drunk or able to drink even Luna under the table when she gets her hands on some pony booze? Would this lead to finding Maline and Luna in an awkward tangled mess at a later time while sleeping off said epic drunken revelry? So many questions to be explored!I love this story, when will the next update be?
8060315 Whenever people stop witting such enthralling stories.
I swear, every night it's the same thing: "I'll just read one more chapter before writing some more of my stories."
Six weeks later and I've only made it half way through the next chapter, even though it only takes like, an hour or two for such short chapter lengths.
Between that, and my as-of-yet unpublished insane mature story with much longer chapter lengths, my writing couldn't be much slower if I tried.
8060725 I know exactly how you feel tbh, I tried as hard as I could to not read all of this in one go but my struggle was in vain
8060812 You know it's bad when your word tracker says you've read several million words in a few weeks. Mathematically, I've read more horse words in the past three months than there are seconds in the past three months.
8060817 I didn't even know they had a tracker, now I'm afraid to look at mine
8060819 Hah! I wish they had a word tracker. That way I could quantify the life as it drains from my body.
Nah, I call it "my word tracker" to be fancy, it's just an excel sheet with my list of fully read stories and an addition function tacked onto the end.
8063092 that pretty cool, I just know I've spent to much time on here but I don't really care since it's fun
8063092 since I was just checking up to see if there was another chapter I realized I forgot about the thing at the beginning.
Liarra, are you a duck?
8079563 No.
8079680 wow, that's hilarious
when are you going to update?
I'm apparently viewer number 666.
Instantly got me in my "gotta read!" mode.
What.
...I get the paperwork, and I think I understood Pinkie (someone get me a psychologist), but what on Earth was the rest of it?
Dry.
I love that Tympani guy