Sunset hesitantly lets a very enthusiastic Princess Twilight take her new cellphone through the mirror, so that Twilight can study it in Equestria.
It does not work. At all.
*Featured 1/5-1/8*
Thanks, everypony!
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 22nd Dec, 2016
- offline last seen Aug 29th, 2022
SevenBubbles1000
Just a pegasister duo with big dreams, pony stories, and too many ideas for their own good. Pony on!
SevenBubbles1000
Joined 22nd Dec, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Sidral Mundet · 2.2k words · 548 10 · 9.2k views
- naturalbornderpy · 4k words · 640 31 · 11k views
- garatheauthor · 1.3k words · 661 24 · 10k views
- PonyAmorous · 1.6k words · 696 22 · 9.5k views
- ArtieStroke · 1.4k words · 317 3 · 7.5k views
- Marwile · 2.4k words · 353 21 · 6.7k views
- PoisonClaw · 3.6k words · 1,324 35 · 24k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.292 seconds
Total duration
1,093 users online
2,168,671 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
OK, fell over laughing when I read this. This was great I look forward to there being a sequel to it perhaps twenty sequels to it.
A short, funny little fic, though I would have also liked to see Twilight's attempts to get the phone back, and Sunset's reaction. Maybe even Twilight having to pay for a new phone or something. Still, not bad.
Although you really should try to put blank lines between paragraphs. It helps improve readability a whole lot. Not that this isn't readable, but it really would be better with blank lines.
7845118
Guess you'll just have to wait and see! 
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it- And I was considering a sequel...
7845158
And I'm glad you liked it as well, and I really appreciate the feedback. Just one question... What are blank lines?
7845343
Well, what I mean is this. Here's what you have:
It should look more like this:
You've avoided a wall of text by making different paragraphs, but it's best if there was that extra line there to full improve readability. Just another press of the enter key. Actually, it appears like that on the HTML version of your story. I've seen that with other stories on here. Seems like a difference in line spacing or something. I'm not sure. I've never published anything on here so I can't say with 100% certainty. Just try tinkering with it when you post a story.
Was that helpful?
7845367
Ah, thank you very much. I'll definitely try that on later stories.
Its always fun to imagine Princess Twilight playing around with human technology.
She would probably miss physical pages, but all that information at her fingertips, yeah. Good thing she didn't find out she can carry hundreds of books on a phone yet. Let's hope that sending it back through the portal will restore it to its normal form, assuming Twilight can even fit something that large through the mirror. Figures that Twilight would be happy to see a giant book, well, as long as its not crushing her. Wonder if Pinkie has "Sorry the portal transformation broke your phone" cake ready (probably).
7845440
It is fun isn't it? And yes, thank goodness no one told her about ebooks!
Now imagine a 64 gb flash drive with a couple dozen movies, thousands of books, a few games even, etc etc coming through the portal..
7845469
Oh no....
7845655
7845588 Princess sparkle. dead by Nerdgasm
Crazy Twilight is best Twilight.
This isn't an importation problem. The problem is that spaces have variable width—whatever it takes to make the right edge of the text line up in a straight line. Spaces used to indent a line should be immune to that, but fimfiction doesn't work that way. That's a bug in my opinion.
There are only two real workarounds to this: either don't indent at all, using a blank line exclusively to separate paragraphs, or use a tab character to indent.
Congratulations on publishing your very first fanfic. I enjoyed reading it; it was very funny and plausible. Great job!
Like you, I'm also a new fanfic writer who just published his very first fanfic just last month. Perhaps you could give my story (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/357390/driving-lessons) a read?
Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more stories from you in the future!
Small typo:
its
7845801
Ah, thank you. I'll fix that!
For a first time, this was brilliant!!! Loved it.
7845820
Thank you so much!
7845823 My first story has exactly 4 likes and 2 dislikes. You, good sir/ma'am, are the real MVP.
7845795
Aw, thanks so much! I'll definitely give your fic a look.
7845829
7845786
I quite agree.
7845793
Good to know- I'll definitely be using blank lines on my next story, as it seems to be an issue. Thank you very much, though! I appreciate the troubleshooting help a lot, since this is my first time on the site.
7845440 well she could always cast a shrinking spell to compact the Book in size before moving back through the portal.
If her Unicorn self can do it to a pile of luggage belonging to herself and her two kids for a cross-country trip from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire for hours on end (only ending when she smacked her carry-on bag filled with it upside Shining Armor's head over a keluffle involving her daughter when the spell was ending), I'm sure that her Alicorn self would have no problems with this book issue.
That was pretty good!
7845907 I see you are referencing RHJUNIOR and his continuation of Past Sins by Pen Stroke. I've read it too.
So... Sunset lost her phone? Or sending it back trough the portal will fix it?
This was a fun little read. Really good for a first fanfic. Never would have guessed. The giant book was a really nice surprise.
7845829 You have one more than me of each, sadly....
7845974 I don't follow.
7845907
Actually, yeah, that would make a lot of sense. And here I was envisioning a furious Twilight trying to shove the giant book through the tiny portal...
7845926
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.
7845959
Oh, I'm sure it'll transform back when or if Twilight can get the book through the portal. It's not gone forever, don't worry.
7845972
Thanks a bunch! I really appreciate it.
7845469 that an understatement, imagine bringing over a Harddrive or a laptop with 1+ terrabyte over and we might see ponyville get flattened.
7845993
You said "My first story has exactly 4 likes and 2 dislikes. You, good sir/ma'am, are the real MVP."
And you have more than one like and dislike than me. :( That's what I meant.
7846003 Yeah, but a thumb drive is a bit more portable, and more likely for someone to forget it in their pocket.
Congrats on hitting da big time... proud to be the first to follow you !
7846109
Thank you! And yes, I shall never forget my first follower- Thanks for having faith in me.
7846051
), but, well... is I-was-just-really-anxious-to-get-this-thing-posted-before-my-schedule-got-so-crammed-I-had-no-time-to-deal-with-it a valid excuse? 
Yeah, can't deny you've got a point there... I probably could've spent more time on Twilight and her giant phonebook (Ha! See what I did there?
I’m not sure what the writing staff would do—there is that deleted Friendship Games scene showing Princess Twi with a handful of Equestrian bit coins—but this is a hilarious take, and Twilight’s reaction to the AWESOMELY MAGNIFICENT POTENTIAL rings true. I’m guessing the portal dumped whatever happened to be in the phone’s memory at that moment into the book.
I do agree the ending would be snappier without the last scene between Sunset and Pinkie. I’m not sure, though, whether it would be possible to relocate that scene or it simply would have to be sacrificed for the sake of pacing.
7846133
Thanks for the feedback! Criticism is always appreciated, and you make a very good point. I could've definitely ended without the Sugarcube Corner scene, but I couldn't bring myself leave Sunset forever in disgust with the chocolate frosting- It wouldn't be right.
I personally find the twist to be clever and hilarious. Little issue with the indentation but all in all a cute fic. 7/10.
I loved this! Could barely keep myself from laughing out loud.
And Twilight now understands the burden of knowledge.
I wonder what would happen if we sent all of our politicians through the portal. Would they all turn into snakes?
7846004 Ah
7846557 no they would become Fiery Demonic Hell Snakes
Hhaha the universe has a sence of humor
I wonder how that would effect a game console...
I was expecting the book to be full of binary code, but I suppose magic is convenient enough to translate that for her. Just not too convenient to not troll Twilight, though.
Seems legit to me.
Well that was a fun read. Poor Sunset.
Well, that's certainly a different take on the "Twilight steals Sunset's phone" concept.
This is your first fic?
Pretty great for a first try! 
Actually a nice read in general. 
I didn't notice the spacing thing until you mentioned it, but I think that's because I'm really tired and it's really late. You should probably make sure that doesn't happen in future stories, should you write more, but it's really not a deal breaker for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep. 