• Published 3rd Jul 2012
  • 9,488 Views, 397 Comments

A Storm of Chaos: A Doctor Whooves Adventure - Shotoman



Dr. Whooves goes on a Discord Hunt.

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You! Are! Bonkers!

Part 12

You! Are! Bonkers!

“Do you actually have a plan for stopping this fracas?” Derpy yelled over the wind generated by the speed of her flight.

“Derpy, how long have you known me now?” the Doctor asked wryly.

Derpy sighed. “I can hope, can't I?”

The Doctor smirked. “Besides, it looks more like a hullabaloo.”

Minutes later, as the city of Canterlot gave way to open field and forest, the odd pair of ponies reached the outskirts of the fierce areal battle. For the moment, the royal army was keeping the attacking forces at bay, but more aggressors were appearing every second. The Doctor narrowed his eyes as he took in the sights. “This isn't right,” he murmured under his breath. “Not right at all. How could the Master have amassed this many angry ponies in a mere eight months? Hmmm... Derpy! Get as close as possible, but stay out of direct combat. I need a closer look.”

Derpy frowned. “You do realize I'm not a stunt flier, right?”

“What you are is brilliant. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Derpy admonished even as she felt her cheeks flush. Without another protest, she dove into the chaos.

Close study proved difficult for the Doctor, what with all the dives and loops his ride was forced to make, but he was beginning to get the inkling of an idea. Most of the attackers seemed to be slightly off. Nothing immediately noticeable—a glint in their eyes as they flew past, a strange expression in the heat of battle—but it was definitely there. And the Doctor knew he recognized the signs.

Before he could voice his suspicions, a group of attackers broke from the battle and made a beeline for Canterlot. “Derpy, quickly! Follow them!” the Doctor shouted, though the young pegasus herself had already begun charging in their direction. As they neared the closest one, the Doctor began shouting instructions. “Now, Derpy. This is very important and I need you to do exactly what I say. When we get within range, I want you to throw me at him.”

Throw you?” Derpy asked in disbelief. “You are crazy!”

The Doctor shot her his most purposefully infuriating but-you-love-my-eccentric-charms smile. “Oh yes!” he wholeheartedly agreed. “Now, what are you waiting for? Allons-y!”

“You worry me sometimes, Doctor,” Derpy muttered, even as she let the madpony in her forelegs fly.

The Doctor laughed as he flew through the air, and he landed solidly on the retreating pegasus' back. He wrapped his forelegs around the stallion's neck even as the pegasus tried to shake him off. “Hello!” he said cheerfully. “I'm the Doctor. What do I call you?” The pegasus responded by growling and trying to buck him off. “Not much of a talker eh?” The Doctor's voice remained happily conversational. “Somehow I figured that.” Now the pegasus was flying in tight loops in his attempt to dislodge the Doctor, but he still held firm. “We both know what you are, and you'd better stop that and land,” he admonished, worry creeping its way into his voice. “No, I'm serious,” he continued as the pegasus continued to fight. “You need to land now before...”

Snap!

After the sickening sound almost echoed in the Doctor's ears, both Time Charger and pegasus pony dropped like a pair of stones. The Doctor let go and called for his companion. “Derpy! Catch me! Now, please!”

The wind was suddenly knocked out of the Doctor's lungs as he landed on the gray coated back of his faithful companion, who levied a severe stare in his direction. The other pegasus disappeared into the foliage below, though the Doctor was certain he caught a brief flash of green light where the poor blighter crashed.

“That was insane, Doctor!” Derpy almost yelled, the fear giving way to anger in her voice.

The Doctor frowned. “Yes, that never happens usually.”

“You've done that before?” Derpy gasped.

“Please. That's far from the maddest thing I've ever done,” the Doctor said, smirking playfully. “It's not even the maddest thing I've done around you.”

“Doesn't change the fact that it was crazy,” Derpy groused as she began lowering herself to the ground. “If I could reach you right now, I'd smack you upside the head.”

The Doctor laughed. “Oh, I'm sure you'll have plenty more chances to do that before we're done with this increasingly mad trip. Make sure to land around where our opponent crashed.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Before long they landed in a small thicket of trees, their attacker a few hooves away. The Doctor immediately hopped off his companion's back to get a good look at it and stopped cold, a brief burst of air escaping his lips. The poor thing was thrashing about a pool of its own green internal fluids, it's chitinous body bent awkwardly and its back legs eerily still compared to the thrashing forelegs. Its transparent green wings were crumpled like tissue paper and its green compound eyes twitched in pain. Most ponies would have found the creature revolting. Not their fault, really. Changelings were a predator of ponies after a sort. But the Doctor's views on beauty came from a much more... expansive pool of experience, and all he saw was a prime example of its species laid low because of him.

The changeling hissed at the Doctor as he came near, but stopped in mild confusion as its senses picked up compassion. Compassion that was aimed at it. The Doctor knelt beside the fallen creature and began making soothing sounds as it laid its head on the ground and stopped moving. After a moment the Doctor stood, an unreadable expression on his face. “That wasn't supposed to happen,” he muttered. Then his expression hardened as he shifted from emotional to logical. “No. That wasn't supposed to happen. At all. Do you know why changelings rely so much on their shape shifting powers and sheer numbers?” Before Derpy could answer, the Doctor did for her. “Defense! Individually, changelings are much, much weaker than ponies. They don't have the sheer magical power of unicorns, they don't have the physical power of earth ponies, and they don't have the magically buffeted flight of pegasi. This means there are some rather simple tests in determining if a pony is a changeling or not. A flying pegasus is the easiest, just toss some extra weight on it mid flight. Only a really weak pegasus flier like Miss Fluttershy would have much difficulty staying airborne even with the full weight of another pony tossed onto it.”

“But here's the other thing changelings have. They have a surprisingly powerful survival instinct—particularly for such a hive-minded race. They know they can't support another pony, so they instinctively go into a controlled dive. The landing is a bit rough, but no more so than one of yours.” The Doctor was pacing now, fully in the zone, and didn't see Derpy's little glare as he went on. “But this. This. I landed on this one's back and what does it do? It fights. It ignores generations of ingrained survivalism and literally breaks its wings in the process. It's as if...” The Doctor's eyes widened in realization. “It's as if its instincts were turned off entirely.”

“Any ideas?” Derpy asked.

“Actually, yes,” the Doctor replied as he withdrew his screwdriver from his coat and began tinkering with the innards.

Derpy looked confused. “Two things,” she said. “One: didn't you burn that thing out back at the castle? And two: what good will it do here?”

“Oh my dear Derpy. If the sonic were that delicate I wouldn't have carried it around for the last few centuries. And you of all mares should know I've saved the universe with this thing.”

The Doctor smiled as he turned a few internal nobs on his favored tool. “It's right in the name, isn't it? Sure, it's a screwdriver, but it's also sonic.” A small explosion popped from within the screwdriver, causing the Doctor to jump.

Derpy's expression showed that she wasn't impressed.

“What?” the Doctor protested. “Have I ever let you down before?”

“I've got a list,” Derpy remarked, though an excited smile began to form on her face. True, the Doctor was crazy, but that craziness was contagious.

~DrW~

A few minutes later, Derpy was taking to the air again, the Doctor riding on her back. The battle was raging, and the Doctor was grinning. “You ready to stop another war?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Derpy responded with a grin. “We've stopped so many it's starting to feel a bit old.”

“Are you kidding? It never gets old. Onward!” Derpy grinned and dove right into the middle of the battle. After a few moments of diving and swerving, they finally arrived at around the middle of the chaos. The Doctor couldn't keep the smile off his face as he raised the sonic and pressed a button. The screwdriver made a mildly annoying whine that drove the changelings absolutely bonkers.

They all brought their forehooves to their ears, dropping their disguises instantly, and began flying around in a panic. The Doctor chuckled to himself. “You know this is the second time I've driven back a full army this trip? I think that may be a record.”

In their panic, the changelings flew in all directions, at times bumping in to each other, sometimes scrambling over and around the now confused army ponies. When the confusion cleared, there remained a few ponies among the aggressors, but nothing compared to the sheer force brought by Celestia's army. It was going to be foal's play to round them up for questioning.

“And that, I believe, is that,” the Doctor crowed triumphantly as the guards gathered the stragglers up.

“Oh, bravo, Doctor,” a sudden voice said from behind. “Bravo.”

Derpy spun in the air to face the new voice, and found a magically projected image of the Master floating there, a smug grin on his face. The Doctor's eyes narrowed. “What do you want, Master?”

“Oh, this time I am just calling to gloat.” The grin the Master was wearing made Derpy want to knock his lights out.

“Gloat?” she sputtered. “About what? We drove off your invasion.”

The Master eyed the aggravating mare before him disdainfully. “Thinking's not really your strong suit. Is it, lackey?”

“I swear, insult her one more time...” the Doctor growled.

The other Time Charger snorted in disgust. “Oh Doctor, when did you get so needy? It's made you so much less fun. But to business. Do you think I'd take control of a nest of changelings, the most powerful unicorn in the world, and a number of rather important political ponies and waste them all ona full frontal assault? Changelings have far more... interesting uses to them than that.”

“More insidious uses, you mean,” the Doctor corrected.

“Whatever you say. It all means the same thing to me. This was just a little something I whipped together when I realized you finally arrived. A special little 'hello' for my special little Doctor. So tell me, Doctor. Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

“What do you want?” the Doctor asked in exaspteration. “What could you possibly find here and now that you can't get elsewhere?”

“Now Doctor, you know better than that. I've outgrown my spill-my-plans-at-the-first-opportunity phase. Tell you what. You find me, stand in front of me charger to charger, and then I'll tell you my plans? Deal? Deal. Good bye, Doctor. Hope to see you soon.” And with that, the Master's visage blinked out of existence.

After a brief moment of tense silence, Derpy asked “So, do we head back to the Princess now or what?”

“No,” the Doctor answered, a scowl on his face. “We go to the TARDIS.”