- Member Since 7th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen 9 hours ago
Prismfire Productions
A ling from the southeast US, support me on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/sandstorm94/overview
Prismfire Productions
Joined 7th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
Prismfire Productions · 10k words · 24 2 · 1.1k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Prismfire Productions · 10k words · 24 2 · 1.1k views
- ImNoPony · 6.5k words · 41 20 · 5k views
- Stormbringer · 16k words · 41 4 · 1.2k views
- RuinQueenofOblivion · 1.8k words · 45 4 · 2.1k views
Featured In9
Shipping 💖11,658 stories ·9,733 members
The Writers' Group56,332 stories ·9,282 members
Queen Chrysalis's Changeling Swarm2,758 stories ·3,959 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,175 stories ·5,454 members
Stories on Goodreads28,595 stories ·492 members
Princess Flurry Heart Fans148 stories ·300 members
Twilight Sparkle's Library931 stories ·91 members
Flurrylis2 stories ·5 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.14 seconds
Total duration
844 users online
1,406,646 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interested to see where you going with this. Good luck!
7831328
thank you
Shortly after I read "Long Live the Queen" I found out you made an sequel.
I would have read it sooner but I was busy so I had to add it to my reading list. Now finally I got time to read it.
I will be honest (but fair) with you:
This story is very rushed.
Especially this current chapter. I would have expected to see a few szenes with the council; especially after you hinted it would probably be in Chrysalis' favor. Also the "relationship" between Flurry and Chrysalis seemingly comes out of nowhere (at least for me).
You writing-style isn't the best, but definetly on the better side. You can keep going with that.
What you really have to improve is spelling, punctuation and stuff. I recommend an proofreader.
Completely different suggestion: Don't only write the name of the original story in the description but also provide an link. That would make it far easier for future readers to find this reference and simply looks better.
And did you ask the author of the original story to mention your story somewhere? Maybe in his description or at the end of his last chapter. At the very least you can make an comment referring to your story there.
I hope that helps.
7951307 Yes, Sandstorm asked my permission to use the concept from Long Live the Queen and I was quite happy to give them permission seeing as I had no intention of going further with the story from my end. I'm fine with them not having a link, particularly as I tend to write a fair bit of nsfw stuff.
But thank you for reading "Long Live the Queen". The first chapter was me just goofing around with a silly idea. The second chapter was me actually working at trying to make a decent story.
Well, that escalated quickly.
Very quickly.
But I see what they are doing:
She provocated her parents to declare her an enemy. For international external observers the Crystal Empire is now the evil one. Changelings are getting stronger the more love they have. Now Chryssy and Flurry are going to 'produce' an infinite volume on love to make an unstoppable army. And then...
7962870
gives you some of Tia's cake good job, but Cadance is totally in the wrong here
oooh sex and good but good job keep going
I HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS.
7978109
pm me
Sooo... Is Chryssy still wearing her 'outfit'?
And I wonder just what Shining will explain next chapter.
7992080
Indeed Chryssy is still wearing her outfit
Hmmm, Iiiiiiinteresting...
*sprays Thorax with bug spray* Whoops... >.> *does it again*
7999512
This gonna end well.
Hmm, yeah, feels rushed, but still amusing.
Stop bugging Chryssie, Thorax.
That escalated quickly. I can see Cadance's point, but Chryssie was kind of already published for her misdeeds, losing her hive and ask that, she even apologised. Time to let it go, let it go, Cadance.
Ooooh, kinky. And I think Chryssie enjoys that, despite the appearances. Let's just hope Flurry doesn't overdo it, it was kinda her fault that Chryssie was late, since she had to do everything without magic.
Hmm, so Shining seems to be much more reasonable.
That paragraph has a lot of punctuation errors.
I have to agree; skipping over the council scenes after hitting it would be difficult? Very dissapointing.
8020596
was rushed
"Thou shalt not covet thy daughter's bughorse wife"
*snort*
8082751
Blame Cross
Can I please get a link to that story?
8083164
Added link to the summary
Mine too. Now I need to find a way to reattach it.
I hope she has some duct tape arround...
7951744 Your story was entertaining and this is a faithful follow up.
8001229 Agreed she even apologised, I can't imagine how much that hurt her pride.
That settles it, I'm going to Canterlot to see my aunties; maybe they can exterminate the problem I am having in my home, Empire, and family while Aunt Lulu frees me from this damned to Tartarus nightmare. Enjoy your rest dear because I've awoken and I'm taking back control."
Awoken time woohoo.
Welp, that went well.
7951307 Flurry Heart's feeling towards Chrysalis were subtly mentioned in the previous chapter.
I'm sorry what, Cadance is basically killing herself and Shining armor want to arrest his daughter because Cadance is being Cadunce?
8166088
Keep in mind just how deeply Flurry's words cut in the last chapter, Shining was using that as a personal attack against the Imperial Princess (aka Cadance) so it is grounds for arrest considering Cadance's deteriorating state
8166192 To think Chrysalis is trying to fix this.
8167133
she is being a voice of reason
The analogy, death by chocolate comes to mind here
Welp, that's going well. At least Shiny and Chryssie are reasonable.
Can't they just use an funnel?
Hopefully the meeting won't end like this comic:
orig05.deviantart.net/dae6/f/2016/103/b/3/family_reunion_by_vector_brony-d9yt3n3.png
Video version.
Nice chapter.
But you really should look for an proofreader.
8204175
I have a proofreader, hence why my chapters have been getting better over time
This fic needs comedy tag, because its so cheese and OOC that is absurdal
8217790
I don't know whether or not to see that as a compliment or insult....
I really want to see where this is going
8294280
So do I
I like this bit specifically because of the chloroflu. Little details like that-a unique disease-makes you setting seem more alive.
More cutthroat than Tirek is...debatable. He was a sociopath who only saw other living beings at best as a resource and whose only positive relationship, his brother, is long gone and withered. But Chrysalis isn't fully in Tirek's mindset and it's not an unreasonable thing.
[Insert evolving pokemon music here.]
Anyway, glad to have caught up with this. I think the pacing is a bit off and more focus on internal thoughts and feelings would be nice, but I still like the story. Nice, Sand.
He did say anyone was welcome to take the idea and run with it.
You however asked, got the entire planet and timeline, and made a mad dash to Discord's writing desk.
Oh this is going to be crazy and beautiful.
8295656
Looks down at pile of shiny beads he got in exchange.
Well, that went well.
... Now i imagine Dive running around and flailing as Twilight has latched onto his fondue'd horn and is cleaning it.
8296261
Twilight had already made an official statement concerning cheese:
Good chapter, but maybe a bit rushed at the ending.
That turned out to be a surprisingly happier ending than I expected. I'm not sure if I like that or not. I find tragedy can be extremely impacting,given the right context.
I feel like too much focus is given to the explanation and actual saving rather than the emotion the characters must have been feeling in this moment.
Aside from that, another nice chapter sand.