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  • E The Ballad of Firebrand and Olivine

    Spike recalls a bedtime story about a dragon falling in love with a pony.
    3,135 words · 3,324 views  ·  281  ·  2
  • E How to Woo Your Lady in Nine Easy Steps

    Spike orders a How-To guide book to win Rarity's heart.
    50,490 words · 14,284 views  ·  910  ·  18
  • E Ladies Don't Freak Out

    Oneshot. Rarity panics when she thinks Spike has left Ponyville for good.
    1,109 words · 6,581 views  ·  621  ·  11
  • E Rarity's Diary

    Rarity muses on the events of "Secret of My Excess".
    1,303 words · 3,309 views  ·  152  ·  2
  • E Lunch Dates

    Rarity and Spike do lunch and discuss the latest happenings in Equestria. One-shot series following each new episode.
    4,818 words · 1,330 views  ·  181  ·  5

Blog Posts63

  • 24w, 4h
    SEASON FINALE

    WOW.

    THAT WAS FREAKING AMAZING.

    2 comments · 200 views
  • 25w, 6d
    Miss you guys.

    Hi all. Obligatory "Sparity" episode day post.

    I thought today's episode was super cute. Not my favorite episode of the season, but I was so pleased to see them explore Spike and Rarity's relationship more that I didn't mind that the episode itself wasn't the most spectacular we've had. Loved that Spike was forced to concede that Rarity isn't perfect. Such a great moment of growth for him. Also loved how much Rarity valued his friendship, beyond just liking having him as a yes-man. All in all, very sweet, and didn't destroy my Sparity headcanons (or my fanfics), so I count it as a win.

    Going more shipping specific: Rarity thinking of Spike as her most supportive friend is NOT a sinking of their ship, as some people are oddly claiming. On the contrary, I feel it bolsters it. This episode established that these two spend a lot of time together--time that usually doesn't get mentioned on the show, but now we know based on context that it must occur. It also established a growing bond and a level of comfortableness and familiarity between them--separate from their other friends. Spike's never been welcome as a side-kick to anypony other than Twilight and Rarity before, and this episode reaffirmed that. We saw it first in Season 1 with A Dog and Pony Show, and I feel like this episode is the natural follow-up to that initial arc. It's been some time since that episode. Spike's no longer just a puppy trailing along. Rarity's no longer just giving him unfeeling orders. They've clearly gotten closer since then. Culminating in this episode, Season 4 has had small moments of Spike being true support to Rarity, and Rarity honestly seems to appreciate it and value him in return. It's a nuanced relationship that is playing out pretty much the only way it could in a cartoon like this. They're never going to be a romantic pair on the show, so it's just nice to see the writers acknowledge that Spike and Rarity have a special bond and have their own personal stories together. Rarity saved Spike from himself (Secret of My Excess), and he's now done the same for her. They've seen the ugly sides of one another and are closer for it.

    In other news, I miss you guys and I miss this site. I wish I had more time in my life for writing. I barely have time right now for my original fiction, much less fanfiction, and it's stressing me out. I need to write, and haven't been able to do so.

    I really hope you're all doing super duper awesome. Also, I hope enough of you are taking up the Sparity-writing torch in my absence. Brohoofs to whoever is.

    7 comments · 195 views
  • 33w, 8h
    Headcanon Conversation. Episode Spoilers.

    "So Apple Bloom ran away."

    "Yes!"

    "With the delivery of pies you were supposed to take to some far away town."

    "YES!"

    "Was this before or after you bubble-wrapped your entire house?"

    "Rarity, that's not important right now! Can you watch Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo for me or not?"

    "Oh, alright. Tell them to come on over. I'll be here waiting. But do warn them that I have some very important clients coming by later, and I won't tolerate loud noises."

    "Come on OVER? You mean, by themselves? Rarity, do you have any idea what could happen to them between Sweet Apple Acres and your Boutique?! They could be kidnapped, or get lost, or trip on a little bitty rock and scrape their little bitty knees!"

    "Applejack."

    "Or get stung by a wasp, or set upon by a pack of timberwolves, or get into a freak hanglidin' accident, or--"

    "APPLEJACK. Take a breath, dear! My goodness. Do you even remember what you taught me about sisters being like apple pie?"

    "Yeah, yeah, of course ah do, but speaking of pies, mah sister is--"

    "I'm just saying, that perhaps you should take a moment to think through how your actions have appeared to Apple Bloom. I'm the first to acknowledge that our sisters aren't the most responsible of fillies, but don't you think you're being just a bit...overbearing?"

    "APPLE BLOOM IS HEADED TOWARDS A FIRE SWAMP WHERE A THREE-HEADED PONY-EATIN' MONSTER DWELLS IN THE SULFURIC SMOKY SHADOWS."

    "Ah, well then. Perhaps we should hurry after all. I'll be right over."

    "Thank you."

    "But do remember what I said! Don't underestimate your sister! She's got a more sensible head on her shoulders than Sweetie Belle, at the very least."

    Applejack barely even hears her, already running off. Rarity pretentiously poofs up her mane, hmmmphing to herself.

    "Well, well, well. Who's the better big sister now?" she asks no one in particular. Then she gathers her things and heads off towards Sweet Apple Acres.


    ...And with that, the episode would've been a million times more entertaining.

    Real reviews to come later.

    -paleowriter

    4 comments · 217 views
  • 36w, 8h
    More Episode Thoughts

    Hi all! Hope your lives are all going well. Mine is still super swamped and crazy. Fanfiction just isn't in the cards right now, and honestly, I probably miss writing it more than you miss reading it. Fingers crossed I get a chance to work on it again soon.

    Anyhow, going to give a rundown of my thoughts on the past few episodes.

    Pinkie Pride blew me out of the water. I wasn't sure what to expect. Even though I love Weird Al, I was super concerned about having a "celebrity guest star" in an episode...especially in a Pinkie Pie episode. But it totally worked and was amazing. I haven't been able to do this yet this season, but Pinkie Pride earned it: I award this episode a 10/10. Just brilliant. Loved all the songs. Felt the emotion throughout. Every character was handled carefully and lovingly, and for such a goofy, silly episode on the surface, it felt the most "real" to me of any so far this season. I know I'm biased, since Pinkie is my favorite pony, but that actually makes me tougher on her episodes. This one knocked it out of the park. Excellent, all around. Can't wait to rewatch on repeat.

    Simple Ways was an okay episode. Good for some laughs, and had some stellar Spike moments, but overall pretty forgettable. The way they handled Spike is probably my favorite show-version of Spike. He's super supportive of Rarity, and becoming more and more mature about where he stands with her. His 4th wall camera look was priceless. I know some weren't happy at how he was reacting (or rather, not reacting) to learning that Rarity had eyes for somepony else, but it served a magnificent contrast to Rarity's own dilemma in this episode and demonstrated that Spike is in many ways, much wiser than supposed "older pony" Rarity. So bonus points for that. Spike has come to terms with where he stands with Rarity, and I'm happy to see that acknowledged in the show. Also, to see that Rarity turns to Spike for comfort. Just...beautiful.

    Overall, though, Applejack stole the show for me in Simple Ways. This episode may have actually moved Applejack up from 4th to 3rd of the mane six for me. So that's saying something! I'll give this episode an 7.5/10. Would've been a 7/10, but Spike's support and Applejack's hilariously deadpan treatment of Trenderhoof raised it up for me.

    Today's episode can be summed up in one word: adorable. Loved Fluttershy today, which is rare for me. She's usually just "okay", but today she shined. Great writing for her. And yes, this definitely rehashed a big chunk of the plot and lesson from Green Isn't Your Color, but with enough of a twist that I was mostly okay with it. Rarity wasn't jealous at all. Instead, she was perceptive, seeing what Fluttershy wanted before Fluttershy could even admit it herself. Pinkie, in contrast, was not. I don't think Pinkie was hugely OOC in this, though. I'm on the fence with her behavior. Part of me knows it was over the top to the point of being cringe-worthy, but another part of me wonders if that was Pinkie's master plan all along. So I'm okay with Pinkie in Filli Vanilli.

    The return of Flutterguy was hilarious, and actually realistic for the plot. Loved Fluttershy's progression throughout. So overall, this episode made me smile enough to forgive the continuity overlooks (really, the ponies should know by now that Fluttershy has stage fright...seriously, how did they assume she'd be okay with singing in front of a crowd?). I'll give it an 8.5/10. Would've been a 9 if the characters had been more understanding of Fluttershy's fears from the get-go, but since they (mostly) caught on fast enough, I think an 8.5 is a reasonable score.

    Generally speaking, I'm enjoying Season 4. It's got its ups and downs, but seems to be on a reasonable streak at the moment. My biggest complaint is how they're dealing with the Twilight stuff, but I can't fault individual episodes for that, as much as I fault the season as a whole. Also, I know that I'm personally fading in my obsession and interest, as I usually do after a few years in a fandom, so I'm not as "in love" with new episodes as I once would've been. Things just aren't as rosy as they used to be. A lot of the original fun and charm is gone, and that's OKAY. This observation isn't meant as a slight against the show or the fandom. It's just how I personally progress as a fan. My interest eventually wanes, and I accept that.

    But while I might not be as invested in them as I was a couple years back, I am still enjoying the new episodes. And I'm happy the fandom is still ginormously huge and dedicated.

    More power to those of you who are still going strong. *brohoof* Seriously. Props.

    3 comments · 194 views
  • 39w, 6h
    Uh...hello again.

    As you may have deduced, my life erupted in busy times. They're still ongoing, by the way, but I felt like I owed people some sort of explanation for suddenly disappearing. So here I am.

    I desperately want to get back to doing my Lunch Dates series, but I'm going to be frank: I don't know how or when I'll be able to do so. My writing life has changed drastically in the past 8 weeks (all good things), and I can't commit to fanfiction like I could before. So basically...I'll get to it when I get to it, and do promise to try and get to it. That's kind of the best I've got. Really, really sorry. I'll do what I can.

    As far as Season 4 goes, here are my basic thoughts on the past few episodes since Rarity Takes Manehattan:

    Pinkie Apple Pie was a complete hoot. Loved it. Couldn't find any real serious faults with it. Just a heck of a lot of fun, with a great song, and some excellent characterizations. 9/10.

    Rainbow Falls was a confusing episode, but it did get me teary-eyed at the end, so I wouldn't say it was a bad episode. It had a lot of continuity problems, and I felt pretty bad for Dash getting stuck with lame team members when she could easily be the star of the Equestria Games herself. Kind of wanted them to let her go and shine on her own. But the moral they went with was necessary for the season-long shimmery-rainbow maybe-related-to-that-box arc that they're going for, so I guess that's okay. And of course, Derpy. Probably a 7.5/10. Would've been higher if they'd just explained more of those continuity issues better.

    Three's a Crowd was loads of Discord fun. Loved his song, loved his gags. Really enjoyed practically everything about this episode. Except...for two massive flaws. Number one, Pinkie. My poor baby. What are they doing to you? I was literally shuddering watching her bits at the beginning. That was honestly terrible. There's no way around it. That was just shoddy writing for Pinkie Pie, and I'm really ashamed it got through. She was so out of character, it hurt to watch. And the second issue was Spike. Generally, I'm okay when they randomly leave him out if it is for an entire episode. But this time, they expressly showed he was around (at the beginning and end), and yet throughout the whole middle he was mysteriously absent at the library. Just a simple explanation as to WHY would've been all I'd needed. So despite a truly epic song sequence, and some fabulous scenes, this episode only gets a 7/10 because I really can't get over the two flaws. Especially the one with Pinkie Pie. If you're someone who doesn't love her to the extent I do, you probably would rate this episode higher. But she's hands down my favorite pony forever and always.

    And with that said, I look on to next week's episode with great trepidation. I want to be hyped for it, but Season 4 has been really hit or miss with Pinkie, and we just had a GLARING miss.

    16 comments · 249 views
  • ...
 673
 8,919
Source

When Rarity writes to Princess Celestia inquiring after how dragons age, she gets a plea for help in reply. A war is brewing, and Princess Celestia thinks Rarity's the one to stop it. Now, still completely uncertain what her feelings for Spike are or if they're even plausible, she's off to meet with his distant relatives to negotiate a truce between the dragons and the sea serpents before the world gets caught up in their destructive clash.

Unrelated to "How to Woo Your Lady" or my other fics.

Cover image generously loaned by fongsaunder at deviantart: fongsaunder.deviantart.com

First Published
3rd Jul 2012
Last Modified
14th Sep 2013
#1 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Hee hee...you really cannot write anything that isn't Spike/Rarity, hm? :pinkiehappy: Not that I mind reading more stories in that vein from an author proven to be really good at it. Keep it up. :yay:

#2 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Sounds promising. And I'm a fan of a little sparity thrown in

#3 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Submit to Sparity please.

#4 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Nice start, looking forward to more!

#5 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>849794

The Sparity fics she writes are awesome though! The best I've ever read on this site, it's like the author is the Sparity Queen or something. :twilightsmile:

This fic looks very promising. :moustache:

#6 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I love it!:heart:

#7 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

And my day is now complete. Great author, Sparity fan extraordinaire, writes another epic Sparity fic. Can't wait to bite into this. By the way when a story is unrelated to other stories but use the same characters their known as stand alones.

#8 · 120w, 4d ago · 3 · · Chapter 1 ·

A man's mustache is his life. *pounds chest with fist and stares into the distance stoically*

Nervous Rarity sounds extremely cute. :raritywink:

I do love how Celestia was like "Screw your question! Come here! Save world!" :trollestia:

A Rarity centric Sparity fic is a nice change of pace, I like it. :moustache:

#9 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Tracking.

#10 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>850259 Hey what are you doing reading dont you have some storys to be working on?

#11 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUR STORY I LOVE EVERTHING!

now I feel like pinkie pie :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#12 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>850509 Can't write clop with children in house and awake. Reading a everyone story though is still safe though. Anyways, I still have a duty as the contributor for the Sparity group to read everything Sparity!

#13 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>850553 What? you have to read Sparity stuff? I hate you a bit I would love to have this as a job. You sir have made me a bit jelly.

#14 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>850601 Well I'm not payed to do it, so job might be a bit strong of a word. But yes, ideally I have a responsibility to. One I'm shurkien on cause I'v still yet to read Of Laurels and Lace.

#15 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Wow what a great start to what will likely be another great story from you.

Can not what to see what happens next.

Keep up the great work andy can not wait until the next chapter is posted.

#16 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

:pinkiehappy: You have made my day! This was awesome!

I can't wait to see how this plays out! :eeyup:

#17 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Hmm, an epic Sparity? I'm all in!

#18 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Sparity? Good. Epic Sparity? Hell ya!:yay: Favoriting now.

But for some reason, this chapter reminds me of the metroid storyline, Metroid Zero, when samus gets a reply she didnt want and was forced to have the metroid dna put in her. I dunno why, but it feels like that.

Poor Rarity, the shit she has to do:raritydespair:

#19 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Haha! I forgot you were on this site too! Now I don't have to worry about missing a moment more than after you post a chapter!

#20 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This is pretty good. I am digg'n it. When can we expect the second chapter?

#21 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ok so I read "Nine Steps" a while back and my god was it fantastic. It was one of those things where you forget you're reading fanfiction, it felt like I was reading a written version of a future two part episode event. In other words, it was probably one of, if not the best, pieces of fan made literature I've ever read.

So know that you know that you'll understand this analogy.....

To me, you're one of my favorite bands on the Internet, and I just got the chance to listen to the first track off your new album.

I. AM. EXCITED. AS. HELL.

It's got a new sound. The first chapter is dipping its toes into a subject that's a bit more dark and mature from the "Nine Steps" sound. I can't wait to hear more.

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#22 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Oh and sorry I shortened the title of your fiction down to "Nine Steps". Me and my friends call it this when we talk about how cute it was

#23 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

:scootangel: I loved it~!! This is my first fic that I've read off fimfiction.net, and it was wonderful. Can't wait until your next update :pinkiesmile:

#24 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

nice start ^^- :heart:

#25 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Has quite the quality in it, which kinda surprises me. I guess I'm used to the average, kinda rushed quality beginnings to adventure stories. I look forward to the next update.

#26 · 120w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Almost seems like a misunderstanding on Celestia's part... but I have to admit. This is one interesting story right from the start. Chapter 1 combined with the summary grabs people's attention and want's them to know more, doubly so with this pesudo cliff-hanger ending.

Rarity is obviously the protagonist of this story, with the story being completely from her view point. The fact that she is so nervous around Spike is rather cute I think, though a bit uncertain. Wouldn't Rarity be the boldest when it comes to such affairs? ... Then again, a relationship with Spike is an iffy one... Still, her eye for detail is there, as shown with the last sentence about Opal. Also, I love how you remembered Peewee, good to see the bird appearing in stories!

#27 · 120w, 20h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ooooh~ Shiny new story from the author of my favorite Spikity fic. :raritystarry:

And it's off to a good start too. You always write Rarity well, and I like how her inner debate mirrors the conversation within the fandom about whether or not it's a valid/appropriate pairing. Just a few days ago I was making some of those same points for how Spike's age/maturity level isn't as cut-and-dry as it would be for one of the CMC or such.

#28 · 119w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

before I read I just have to say this

I just realized I've read 2 out of 4 of your stories without even realizing it was the same author, and it seems all you write are spike and rarity fics....I might need to become friends with you lol.

#29 · 119w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

LMAO REALLY?? I hope theres a hopedate to this soon, because I'm already interested.

Its amazing though, they call spike a baby dragon, yet he's more mature than the 6 mane mares of the story...hell he's more mature than most ponies in ponyville. if physical appearance is the problem, than all rarity needs to do is make spike greedy again and bam full grown spike. I honestly thing spike doesnt need to practice greed, but needs to maintain a balance. Because if spike doesnt practice greed, he may stay in that baby form forever, if greed is the way a dragon matures, than he has to practice, but he needs to learn restraint.

#30 · 119w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

When can we expect the next chapter?

#31 · 119w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ooh, excellent opening! :pinkiehappy:

#32 · 119w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>883683 No promises, but the next chapter is coming along nicely, and I hope to have it ready within a week. :moustache:

In general with this story, I'll be posting new chapters every 1-2 weeks. I can't promise extreme consistency, however, since I'm "cheating" from working on my actual novels by writing fanfiction. When I need to concentrate on my novels, fanfiction takes a backseat for a few days. So while I can't promise exactly when each chapter will be delivered, I can promise that this story is planned out and will definitely be completed...just perhaps not quite as quickly as HTWYLINES was. Hopefully my readers will be patient with me! Trust me, I could toss up a chapter right now, but it wouldn't be of high quality at all. And with this being a Rarity-centric story, low-quality just won't cut it. :duck: "Going for perfection, here," and all that jazz.

#33 · 119w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>891593 Of course, revising for quality, I completely understand that. Also, what is HTWYLINES?

#34 · 119w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>891593 Oh, How to Woo Your Lady, nvm :pinkiecrazy:

#35 · 119w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Did you consider tying this in with "How to Woo" at all? Because I can definitely see this as a follow-up to that story.

#36 · 119w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>892748 Nope. This story is its own thing. A "stand alone" piece, as I have been informed it to be called. :raritywink:

HTWYLINES won't have a real sequel. I don't plan on doing much beyond possibly a few one-shots as follow-ups to HTWYLINES, because I feel like that story is complete. Not everyone feels that way, but I do. :moustache:

So this is a brand new story, unrelated to any of my other works. This time around, I wanted to explore Spike and Rarity's developing relationship from Rarity's side of things and also provide a true adventure for our little diva. :duck: So there will be a different feel to this story. Not super different, but a little bit different. I'm also finding it to be more challenging to write than HTWYLINES because of some of these differences. That unfortunately means it takes longer to perfect each chapter, but I'm hoping will also mean that this new story will be highly entertaining and interesting. I guess we'll all find out together.

#37 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I've always thought that spike was of some special breed of dragon. We've seen other dragons that were bigger than spike, but not nearly as obsessed with possessions. What I figure is spike's breed is very closely related to magic. Think about it: he's hatched from his egg by magic, he's able to do the teleporting paper thing, and both times he's giagantic he both grew and regressed in the blink of an eye. I always assumed that the second time his concience basicly said "if you're going to act like a dragon you'll be one as well"... I wonder if I'm over analyzing again.

AL
#38 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

wooooooooooooooooow this is soooooooo awesomeeeeeeee  as your other fics X3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:yay:

#39 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Uh oh... Girls, you really should of kept your muzzle's out of things.

As now things have gone from bad to worse.

#40 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Oh mate you are evil for leaving it like that. Brilliant chapter. Keep up the good work.

#41 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

What the-! I sense foul play here:twilightangry2:.

#42 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Enter the dragons, stage east!

It's never easy it is. I'm curious how Spike's role in all this will play out.

#43 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

dern cliffhangers! I WANT MORE XD if you don't mind :heart:

#44 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Oh....I think I know what Rarity did to get the sea serpents so enamored with her...:raritystarry:  Well played.  :raritywink:

#45 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

That cliffhanger will only make the wait that much worse :rainbowlaugh:

This was awesome, as always! Can't wait to read more :eeyup:

#46 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

>>921986

Really? It took you that long to figure it out? I've known it ever since it was mentioned that the Sea Serpents ONLY wanted her in Chapter 1 my dear Watson! :twilightsheepish:

#47 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

lol, So the dragon lover has to go to the land of dragon and sea serpants to stop a war.... lmao... I'm more interested in how the author will portray the two. Will we see the never ending portroyal of dragons as vicious beasts and monster, or will we see another culture that has been wrongfully portrayed by ponies simply because they don't understand the dragon culture and are too afraid to attempt relations.

#48 · 118w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Great chapter as well as the cliff hanger you put at the end of it. Can not wait to see what Spike will do next and how in sideway this will be connected to Rarity's assignment in starting the war as I have a feeling they will meet up in the future.

As always keep up the great work, and I can not wait to read the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

#49 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

I found a few minor spelling mistakes while I was reading; I'll list them here so you can make changes.

incidences > incidents

up her ally > up her alley

Woo, more backstory for Spike! And Shining Armor being friendly; that's always nice. Faust knows we don't have nearly enough of either in canon.

... Ohhh. It's the sea serpents who asked for Rarity. Damn, that actually makes much more sense- her relationship with dragonkind is rather unique, sure, but how would any dragon authorities know about it?

And the conflict over the territory at the water's edge is connected to the destruction of the Bumblebee River bridge, I'm sure... nice foreshadowing there.

"Alright then." She regained her composure. "Then I expect you'll be selecting some guards to escort me – "

"Unfortunately, no," Princess Celestia interrupted again. "I wish I could, more than anything. But the sea serpents were very clear: only you."

:twilightoops: Sheee-it.

art of negation > art of negotiation

... dammit, Sweetie Belle, have you learned nothing from being Gabby Gums!?

"No," Rarity said. Though it wouldn't matter if she did. I'll be gone by then.

The formatting here is confusing- is "No" italicized because Rarity is saying it especially stressfully, like the "wasn't" in "No it wasn't" earlier on? Or are the italics just carried over from the internal monologue that follows?

In the first case, I would adjust the wording so as to eliminate the italics from Rarity's thoughts- change it to "Not that it would matter if she did- the older unicorn would be gone by then." or something similar.

In the second case, I would simply remove the italics from the dialogue.

Sweetie Belle hugged her sister back. "Don't worry about me, Rarity. I'm a big filly. And you'll see, I'm going to prove to you just how mature and helpful I can be."

... Oh dear lord what is Sweetie planning.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pony Trackers!"

:facehoof: Dammit.

Holy crap, shit just got real. And a cliffhanger! Damn.

#50 · 118w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

>>928458 Thank you! :twilightsmile: I will fix those immediately. Serves me right for uploading after a night of barely any sleep. Good eyes!

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