Dah, is okay. Problem is: HIE. Expect people with less remorse to downvote the fuck outta yer story.

>>845048845048 Unlike me? It's my specialty. I'll look at it.

EDIT: Well, there are no Walls of text, no glaring grammar issues, might be going a little fast for my taste (Reason below) but so far, it's a decent story. Might not catch too much attention, but I enjoy what character I'm following so far.

Of course, I never really cared for the whole "Turned into a pony" thing, I'll let this one slide. I hope, though, that later in the story, the reasoning behind his existence and transformation is BELIEVABLE.

Seriously, better not be "Oh, I just died and went there," or "I was dragged into a random portal! By Twilight Sparkle! On Accident!" Remember: In order to make this WORK, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, must be believable. Whether it would Be Discord wanting a quick laugh, or some other witty remark.

I'll follow this along, and see where it goes.

>>845073845073 All yours bud. I'm just the harbinger

>>845079845079 And done. My small thoughts are up top.

I'll give it a chance, it;s not mind-breaking, but so far, it's charming in a sense.

Great start, Like how he keeps using his real name. And when you think about it the Ponies would look real scary if seen in real life with those proportions.

Can't wait to see where this goes.

Unless he's been eating worms, his breath is bated, not baited.

interesting...

I like it!

I apologize for the lateness of my reply, I was at work and could not respond.

>>845073845073

An attempt at human scientific teleportation rips the 'weave' of our universe, spilling into the Void.  As nothing can exist therein - not even time - it in effect creates a tunnel to Equestria, bridging the way ... no, not really.  I haven't the foggiest as yet.  It's definitely not 'oh hey heaven' nor will it be Twilight's mismanagement of her own abilities.  I'd like to think Celestia's teaching is more comprehensive than that.  And as for the speed, well, this is 'random douche in Equestria.'  I'm not going for any extreme moodiness nor in-depth look at the whys and wherefores of the land.  It's meant to be lighthearted.  A test, if you will, of my own ability.  I'm failing but then again, I failed many classes in high school as well, so eh.

>>845199845199

"It's Bruce!  Bruce!  Not 'Lightfoot von Horseapple' you thick - OW, That's my ear!  Stop yanking, you jerk!"

>>845288845288

Well, while drunk I personally have been known to be ... experimental in my own cuisine so maybe he has?  Not really, thank you for pointing that out.

MOAR

Jeez, Min, it's been forever since I saw a new bit from you. Awesome to see a new story. Been forever since i saw a good HiE. Looking forward to it. Get back to ya tomorrow.

Did you look at this pic and say, "hey I could make a story about this and cause nightmares for small children at the same time!"

Image: http://cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1543/765/2012/07/02/21_29_41_509_29116__safe_princess_celestia_creepy_artist_imalou

>>846868846868

Did you ask your parent's permission before getting on the internet?  Also, I've never seen that picture in my life.  That is horrifying.

>>846799846799

Eh, I've been writing things.  Just nothing presentable.

>>847238847238

Yes I called them across country, just to get there permission to use the internet....

Edit: (dammit now I'm sounding all butthurt) I have an unatrally high voice for someone my age it just gets to me sometimes lol) anyway its a great start, going for the uncanny valley approach I haven't seen that done, I hope to see more soon

>>847272847272

Oh, sorry.  I was implying it gave you nightmares or something.  It was funny in my head, less so in text format.  Quite like this story!  Ah well.  Didn't mean to offend.  I just don't know what went wrong.  Actually, I do know what went wrong.  I opened my mouth.

>>847238847238 ah. I know that feel. Though it's less presentability, more "EVERYTING MUST BE IN ZE PERFECT PLACE!" so I've been editing everything, not to mention reviewing stuff. More specifically, as of last night, your stuff. So here's the review I wrote.

I. Fucking. Lol-ed. SO DAMN FUNNY! When he started swearing, it was absolutely PRICELESS! Watching this fic like a psycho stalker.  

Damn. That was REALLY GOOD. Simple premise, simple motivations. I liked it. Naturally I'm used to expansive, 20-part, interconnected fics with around 50 k plus words in them... But this one will do too...

Anyway, since my comment is unnaturally short, considering I usually drop off an essay, I've decided to give you a taste of my rhymes. Mostly because I'm bored, but also because I want to put off writing the story that has plagued me for 3 weeks. So here it is:

I've read every fic you have, though they are not many

So here are my thoughts, you needn't pay a penny

I've seen only one more fic about a potty mouth child

I read "of insults" by RavensDagger, isn't that wild?

It looks like the story is going well, see what you do

I'll be anxiously looking forward to "old again" part two.

I hope I have not bored you with my little rhyme

It looks, sadly, as though I'm all out of time.

*gracious bow*

>>847238847238 Agreed. If I were to wake up in a bed in some other world and saw that looking at me, they would need new sheets. On the other hand, I now have something to terrorize my neighbor with.

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/ad66e996a38fe841faeab3011be4215e/158663%20-%20Adventure_Time%20animated%20animation%20Artist%3ACuppaTease%20celestia%20creepy%20Molestia%20Princess_molestia.gif

>>850626850626

... you're exuberant.  Thanks for reading!  I have no idea what that 'Of Insults' thing is, is it any good?

>>850750850750

All you pic posters need to stop making me want to change the fic pic.  I'd post the one with the Apple family eating meat but, uh, it's too far removed from the tone I'm going for.  Less 'Mountains of Madness' and more 'Molehills of Slight Discomfort.'

And to all those who fav'd and watched, uhm, thanks.  I had no idea this, of all things, would be my most watched fic.  Gives me impetus to continue, I s'pose.

>>852104852104 it's about Pipsqueak getting his cutie mark, which represents making people cry. it's a really good foray into emotion. give it a rea if you have any time...

and as for exuberant, yes i am. i like to think of myself as the best of Pinkie and Fluttershy. very meek with peoplei  don't know, but with people i do know, i'm the prime party animal... oh, and on the internet, because there's no awkward face to face intorduction. lol.

>>852104852104 Um...sorry?

>>852114852114

Oh, wait, I did read that.  A bit, uhm, 'too removed from the show's tone in a canon character' for me to truly enjoy.  Had it been an outsider with a more grim outlook on life, it would have been 'better' but not as funny so there's the trade off innit.  Eh, it was silly for the sake of silly, so I didn't thumb down.  Course, I rarely thumb up.  I'm thumbless, already halfway to pony state.  Oh god, make it stop!  Get that needle away from me!

>>852120852120

Huh?  Why?  What?  Oh, uhm ... yeah, that wasn't meant seriously.  Uhm, sorry.  Didn't mean to insult, I was trying to be funny.  Again, I failed.  Sorry.

>>852155852155 yeah, it's pretty good. for me, canon goes out the window, except for personalities, and i always saw pipsqueak as the humble kid that the bullies always push around. in this case, he got backed up into a corner, snapped, and bit their heads off. I've seen this. although in THAT case, he broke a few bones... of theirs... YEESH.

anyway, it was pretty silly, but i like silly. actually, i like anything, assuming it's done right...

>>852155852155 Ah. Understood.On a side-note I DO fully intend to try to blow that picture up and make my neighbor (who happens to be a slightly younger cousin of mine) scared of Celestia. Or at least scared of his bathroom.

I lol'd

No smoking for you!

That is all.

I really just finished the first chapter.  Immediately there is an update.

Well. leaving this here until I finish, and can give feedback.

_____________________________________________________-

Very interesting overall.  I think you were trying a bit too hard to be funny in your descriptions.  The whole "creepy" thing is really interesting too.  I am looking forward to seeing more.

Also, (generally a complement) it ended to soon!

Curious... do you actually go to poly (IE in long beach?)

>>853881853881

There is more than one polytechnic, my friend.  I was thinking of Southern Polytechnic University, actually, in Georgia.  That's wife's alma mater.

Laughed a lot due to this chapter.

A little colt asking for a smoke

AWSOME chapter!!!!!!

Literally can't get enough here my friend. Can't wait for the next update.

And it's nice to see a new take on HiE, hope that Bruce can cope.

Aaaand here's how the ponies pick stuff up despite all logic and laws of physics Secret to pony grip, at least thats how i currently think of it.

I'm looking forward to seeing how he deals with his cravings, as well as what they do when he outs himself as a non-pony.

It's not gonna be pretty, but it will be HILARIOUS!

Kinda reminds me of the manga Ichinensei ni Nattara. A high school student is hit by a bus, saving a little girl, and dying in the process. He is brought back by a mad scientist. In the body of a 1st grade girl.

HA! This story man, I love it...

You hear that sound, Bruce? That's the sound of you digging your own metaphorical grave.

Deeper

and

deeper.

funny as hell

One of the best Brony-in-Equestria tales I've seen. There's no way someone would really be ready to handle a change like this gracefully and this is as graceless as it comes. :)

Just noticed one tiny glitch, "near dangerous locals" should be "near dangerous locales".

"I'm trying to flip you off but it's not very effective without fingers."

I you just made me love this fic even more, i thought that would be impossible but looks like you've done the impossible.

>>859086859086

Thank you!

Edit: Fixed.

That is all.

This... this story right here is a fun story... and I LOVE fun story's!

Keep it up man I'm loving this!

"I'm trying to flip you off but it's not very effective without fingers."

If I ever become a double-amputee that is a line I bet I will have to use all the time.

I love this story!

Trying to flip off people without fingers. The ultimate cunnundrum.

Hahahahah I'd have to admit it. Never thought I could laugh at an event in a story.

I was wrongXD

Keep it up; I can't stop laughing.  

Will be back later to write a review;)

"I'm trying to flip you off but it's not very effective without fingers." HAH!

I was right! The reaction to his demands for smokes is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

Can't wait for more.

O, and "I'm trying to flip you off but it's not very effective without fingers.", officially the best line of the past 2 months.

This story is GOLDEN!

I was laughing all the way through it!

>>860102860102

I agree, best.line.ever!

Words can't describe how much i love this. I will set up an alter in your honor in my home.

Awesome chapter.

Enough said.

Well, officially, YOU have become best pony.

and you can always use the British flip off.

For anyone curious, I'm writing the next chapter but it probably won't be done till ... Friday at the earliest?  Might be Saturday before it comes out.  Still, can't rush sloppy short chapters!  Wait ...

EDIT:  Also, I'm typing with these stupid bulky wrist braces on because my carpal tunnel is acting up.  Stupid body.  Guys, never get old.  It sucks.

EDIT2: I lied, it's out now.  I'm going for a minimum of 1k words each chapter.  This barely qualifies.  But hey, whatever right?  Also, little Brusey-wucey here is about to take his first, hesitant steps into the big wide world.  Of the Equestrian Ministry of Families and Children.

Good times.

DUN DUN DUN

I await future updates gleefully, and with high expectations.

I'm lovin' this so far. I had wondered myself with regards to the loo issue, and a pit does seem to be the most obvious answer. With the mostly medieval look to the houses, I wonder if it would be flushing or not, or whether some poor pony collects nightsoil?

>>864729864729

... what would that cutie mark look like?  And how would you find out that was your special talent?  shudder

>>864740864740

Not every cutie mark would mean a bill-paying job, I'd guess, so someone, somewhere would have to do SOMETHING other than their talent to keep food on the table. What if your mark was in birdwatching or something, and you couldn't get a position in Celestia's university?

>>864740864740

>>864729864729

Well they seem to have running water, and modern bathtubs (At least Pinks seems to).  And eastern style squat toilets makes sense.

>>864764864764

Yeah, cutie mark plays a big part in ones life, but it doesn't seem to be a 'This is your job' kind of thing.  Otherwise Rarity, Pinkie, Twilight and Rainbow would be doing very different jobs.

Odd chapter but interesting nuntheless.

As always great work my friend, and I only wish i could read more. Hope your Carpal Tunnel doesn't bother you too much

Looking forward to the first confrontation with "The Counseler"... DUN DUN DUN!!!!

Ok, we now know you have mastered snarkiness and you get a 7/10 in grossing-me-out-in-a-not-funny-way, good for you.

Could we please get on with it? If you hate pony faces that much, that's your thing, but it gets repetitive.

He's going into pony foster care? God, this should be interesting...

My review. Enjoy.

Laughing. So. Hard! Brony suddenly realizing that pony proportions are actually hella creepy: pretty funny. 30 plus year old man getting his mouth washed out with soap: REALLY funny. Suddenly realizing you are a minor now and you still have a mental addiction to cigarettes: priceless. 

Oh, and of course, the drug addled candor of of any man over thirty is always a sight to behold, which I only know through an unfortunate experience volunteering at a hospital for a day... *shudder*

Oh, and I actually had to stop reading so I could get my laughter out. It was interfering with my reading, and I kept giggling for 5 minutes after reading the bit about trying to flip them off. Priceless is too cheap a word to use for that.

>>864740864740 "Is that your cutie mark? It looks like a piece of manure." or better yet, "Hey Ma, I found my special talent." " That's wonderful! What is it, dear?" "Shoveling shit!" "Do I even want to know?" "....Probably not."

>>864764864764

>>865092865092

Don't take what I write too seriously.  Unless I'm on another story's page, I write with my tongue so far in my cheek that it's coming out.  It, it kinda hurts.

EDIT: And then I post seriously below this, hypocrisy much self?

>>865818865818

Pony-creepy is a big thing in this, something I'm probably going to slow down on (a lot actually, as creepy/disturbing things tend to lose their effect through familiarity) but it will be a consistent theme throughout.  And I don't really mind ponies (too much), Bruce here does.  Just wait till I get into more detail about how pony physiology works.  I'm playing with some ideas about how to make ... aspects of pony bodies 'work', just not work like something on earth would.  The most effective 'strange' sensation is one where it's just familiar enough to seem normal but be off enough to seem wrong.

Also, snark and sarcasm will remain.  I'm sorry but them's the breaks.  I might go a bit more Loony Tune or at least try to come up with some semi-sensible methods/reasons that ponies can or might go Bugs Bunny.  I'm just not all that great on the more physical humor that would require.

And how did I gross you out?  I'm guessing it was the shape of the toilet.  The funniest way I could describe it, mainly because of certain physical limitations of the pony form.  The form of their medical and hygienic mechanisms are going to be different.  I was thinking … well, it doesn’t matter.  I’m sorry if I did gross you out non-funnily.  That wasn’t my intent.  Things like that will pop up and I’ll try to inject as much a humorous twist as I can but they are by no means going to be common.  Just every once in a while.

i hope you stick around but I wouldn't blame you if this isn't up your alley.  Thanks for reading all the same.

>>866555866555

I'm fine with snarky and sarcastic. Keep those.

The toilets were not my main concern, I've seen japanese style. And when nature comes calling, you don't care that much actually.

But the implications of hoofs, mouths and medical instruments like syringes... thats pretty gross, yeah.

That's what you get when you take a children's cartoon literally: There are more than a few rough edges and squirmy spots in MLP, like what's with horse drawn coaches and trains? Or handling food with your mouth? And let's not even touch the matter of pegasus-controlled weather... Or Pinkie Pie!

I wonder how Twilight and Bruce would work out:

Pinkie Pie happens.

Twi: "This doesn't make sense! This is not scientifically possible!"

Bruce, enter stage left: "That what I tell them all the time."

Twi: "Finally a pony who sees this! Say, where do you come from?"

Bruce: "The hospital, I ran away. The barking pony next door was driving me up the walls and the one with the propeller-beanie kept giving me funny looks. Can you hide me?"

And that's the whole thing: Spot something that is weird, poke fun at it, move on. "Pony creepiness" might make for an excellent running gag, but don't wear it out too much.

You prob already know this, but I enjoy this story.

>>869714869714

Wow dude, first ever fanart of anything I have ever written, touched or even looked at.  You have officially made my day.  Night.  Morning.  Whatever.  Now I GOT to write something.  No pressure.

I need a cigarette ...

>>869753869753

Don't worry I will just be sitting here.... judging.

>>869763869763

thx d00d ur teh b3st.  Also, I'm stealing that line.  Somewhere.  I don't know where yet but ... actually, yes!  YES!  I know where.  Eventually.

>>869993869993

THE LEVEL OF INSPIRATION, IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAND!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/rHMHO.jpg

>>863116863116 Oh do tell.

>>870247870247

you know, arm up, hooked through elbow?

Pony limbs are flexible enough.

Oh the 'joy' of Pinkie Pie... this will be fun!

Dirt, highly nutritious!

"science has a restraining order against Pinkie"

Great chapter! Keep it up i am loving this story!

Keep up the wonderful work!

eeeeeeexcellent

One of the Rules of Happiness is to not ask what goes into your food. (Another one is not asking a woman her weight.)

I take it the nurses have gone very passive-aggressive on him? (We need a twistedlittlegrin emoticon.)

>>875296875296

Actually, I was thinking of writing an interlude where Spring Meadows is going off on the nurses for their rough treatment of 'an obviously very disturbed little colt' with various subtle threats, all the while also lamenting how few foster families Ponyville has and the reams of paperwork she'll have to go through to get more options since, of course, she doesn't want to send him away from where she presumes his family must live.

But I'm wary of switching both the tone (her chapter would, by frank necessity, have to be more serious and not funny) and the POV.  I could make it funny, I suppose, if she was a bit bumbling.  Hmm, that might work.  Still weighing the potential benefit to how different it would be from the rest of this.  Don't think I'll do it as it'd have to be either next chapter or the chapter right after that one to fit in the timeline correctly, but it's on the table.

>>875369875369 Ehh, I don't really like the thought of her being 'bumbling.' I would prefer she be competent and you just not write that chapter.

'Course, who am I to decide?

>>875399875399

That was one of my concerns.  I didn't like the thought of her being bumbling or absent minded.  She just feels way in over her head here and at the same time, here's a 'little colt' that needs her and her help.  She's drowning in her own sea, in a sense.  Kind of a tragic situation.  If she believed him (and he is telling the truth) everything would work out remarkably well.  But because it's such a frank impossibility, she's filling her own ocean by the tanker-full and not even realizing it.  Also, I'm not sure how to open the Bruce-Pinkie discussion but I know how I want it to end so I'm kinda staring at a blank Word doc, blinking in the hope that words will appear magically and I can get on with the interesting parts.

It's not working.

>>875438875438 I know that feel, bro. Knowing something you want to write but not how to get to that point? Very familiar to me.

>>875399875399

i think i have to agree.

I think I might have peed a bit then.

I'm a bad person.

The silence was so thick, you could cut it with a sock.

One of the many hillarious lines in this story.

Anyway great chapter like always.

I would totally be mind-broken from this whole ordeal.

>>875369875369 Wanna write an alternate POV chapter but dont wanna change the tone? Simple! Make a side story! Techogre does it all the time! You can just make a side story, and whenever you wanna write a little (non plot relevant) chapter, just throw it in there! Simple!

Great chapter, Bruce has every right in my mind to fear Pinkie Pie

And they DO walk on there whooves! I never thought of that before

And i would love the extra chapter, in my opinion more explanation is always better then less explanation.

>>880856880856

I might.  I have 650 words in it already but, again, it's ... dark.  The assumptions and errors Meadows is making are, well, not pleasant to consider.  And, unfortunately due to my job, I've been exposed to certain aspects of the DFACs of a few states to know kinda-sorta what I'm going for.  It's, ugh, it's just plain wrong what she's thinking but in her mind, the evidence is too overwhelming for anything else to be the case.  I'm probably not going to post it here.  Might, MIGHT side-story it but even then, it's way too heavy for the lighthearted comedy I want to write right now.  To tie them together ...

>>881274881274 Sounds to me like ya want to do it but it wont fit.

If you do post it somewhere though say where please.

And whats a DFAC?

>>883003883003

Department of Families and Children.  Essentially, the foster, adoption and family help department run by the states in America.  They're sometimes called other things, depending on the state.  Can't talk about specifics, though.

I know what she told the doctor. "Hey, let's put crazy and crazier together and see what happens. You get the popcorn, and I'll get the lawn chairs."

Dun dun DUUUUUUUN. Bloody hilarious... I love how he makes a horror story out of everything... I mean, I understand it IS somewhat terrifying, but you'd think he'd just start to accept things at some point... *shrug* anyway, good bit. I like it...

I LOVE this! So much LOL and 'Awkward Turtle' moments! I haven't laughed like this in a looooooong time. I sincerely thank you!

>>898848898848

You know, every one of you guys that said you liked this made me put my nose to the grindstone and made me try to put something out every night.

Didn't work.  BUT!  This, while not the longest thing I've ever written, has been the thing I've enjoyed almost more than anything else.  I'm probably going to be posting a new chapter tonight, just so you's'all know.

The reason it took a bit longer is that, well, Pinkie Pie is easier to write for than I thought but trying to keep myself on task and un-distracted while writing her has been a larger effort than I realized.  That and I didn't know exactly how to get from point A to point B in their conversation.  Trying to fit all the elements I thought of while I was smoking was harder than I thought it'd be.

So to everyone that has offered words of encouragement and those who just said they liked it, thank you.  It makes it so much better than to write for just myself.

Really.  Thanks.  Y'all are awesome.

Every time I read a new chapter for this story.

He's going to get the soap again ain't he.

THE SOAP!

every time i see an update on this my one thought is "oh, god what's he going to f**k up this time" and then everyone in my house thinks i crazy with the way i start laughing.

Another great chapter And I love his frustration at Pinkie Pie, she may be great to whatch but she is not the first pony I'd go to if I wanted to be serioues, and i'd be pissed if she raised then dashed my hopes so magnificenlty as she did to Bruce.

Looking forward to seeing what Bruce said.

And Bruce has a solid lead home! Even if Pinkie is a dead end he knows who to go to when/if he gets out of the hospital.

Lovin' it keep up the great work!