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"Bruce?"
"Yeah?"
"Uhm, is there something you want to talk to me about?"
"Not that I can think of."
"Not even what you told Pinkie Pie?"
thunk
"Bruce?"
"Yeah?"
"Please don't try to hurt yourself."
"I have a surprisingly hard head."
"Yes, well, for my sake."
"...I'll try."
"....Bruce?"
"Yeah?"
"You can talk to me about anything you want to, ok?"
"Sure."
"Even things that might make you feel uncomfortable or bad. Even things somepony else has told you to keep secret, ok?"
"Yep."
"...well, I'll let it be then. Just, we don't eat, ergh, meat here, ok?"
"Yeah, kinda figured that out."
"...ok then."
Spring got up from where she was sitting, patted me on my back and walked back into the main room. I could tell because even though my face was planted firmly in the tabletop, that chair gave out some horrendous squeaks. We had been sitting alone and in silence for a few minutes - Pinkie and the Cakes having hustled the twins out of the room - before she tried to open that particular conversation.
It was as awkward as I thought it would be. At least I was alo-
"Bruce?"
OF course. Fluttershy crept into the room slowly. Hooves, even soft ones, made a great deal of noise on wooden floors. Sneaking out of Sugarcube Corner was going to be crazy when those twins start their teenage years. I kept my face where it was, giving a muffled grunt in response.
"Uhm, would, uhm, you like some company?"
"No." I picked my head up and looked at the newest intruder to my Fortress of Semi-Alone. "No, I think I just want to be alone right now if that's ok." Fluttershy visibly cringed. She wasn't wearing her armor anymore, probably to make herself seem less 'intimidating.'
"Uhm, I-I'm sorry but I don't think that's a good idea." OF course.
"Well, why'd you as-NO! Shut up mouth, you've gotten me in enough trouble tonight." thunk
"OH! Oh my, please don't do that." She ran over and put a wing around my shoulders. "Please don't hurt yourself."
"Why? It's a wonderful way of coping with ... this."
"This what?"
"THIS!" Oh god, don't shout at Fluttershy, she doesn't deserve it! I yanked my head off the table - almost headbutting Fluttershy and knocking her back regardless - and waved my hooves about. "This everything! Go to bed a fully grown man with self-control and wake up a 'My Little Pony' with the self-control of an idiot and child!" I put my head down on the table, more gently this time, and heaved a massive sigh. "And it's not going to get any better because no one believes me, no one takes me seriously, and I don't even know where to start looking for help."
"Bruce," Fluttershy sat back upright, placing her wings back around my shoulders, "we're all here to help. We want to. But we need to understand. Spring hasn't told me very much about you except you were in the hospital today and you're troubled. I need to know so I can help."
"She's going to tell you I'm delusional. I have a fantasy land of humans made up in my head to escape my problems and that I'm a damaged little colt that needs love and affection." I rolled my eyes and my head away, facing the wall instead of her. "And because the truth is so preposterous that she can't accept it - I doubt she'll even try to find out if it's true or not - I'm going to be stuck having to live a life that isn't mine."
"Uhm, oh my." I felt the wing around my shoulders squeeze slightly. We sat there in silence for a while, Fluttershy just holding me as I breathed slowly.
"...you're not going to say anything Fluttershy? About how humans don't exist or how I'm just confused or anything?" I kept my head pointed away from her, staring at the kinda garish wallpaper. It had cupcakes on it. How apropos.
"Oh, uhm, I can if you'd like." Her voice was very soft, especially when your head is pointed the other direction, and I found my ears swiveling to catch her words. Ponies may be weird but there are a few perks to it all.
"No, no. I'm kinda glad you didn't." I wanted to say more. I wanted to throw another tantrum about how unfair life is, how things shouldn't be like this. How I miss my wife, how I miss being who I was, how I just wasn't happy. But I didn't. I just sat there, underneath Fluttershy's wing, breathing slowly so as not to start crying again.
"I think it's time to get you to bed, Bruce. Tomorrow, uhm, tomorrow we can deal with ... all of this." I nodded in response and let the animal caretaker-turned-Guard lead me back into the common area. In the alcove, Spring was talking in a low voice to the Cakes, all of their eyes wide and Mr. Cake even holding back tears. I heard Pinkie somewhere, playing with the twins. Rainbow Dash had gone, it seemed. Though I didn't look at them purposefully, for a moment my eyes met the eyes of couple that was to be my caregiver. A look of worry from both sides.
Birds. Lots and lots of birds.
My old alarm was one of the buzzing-screaming deals that has the most annoying sound in the world telling you to get up. It was also located as far from my bed as I could stick it so I'd have to get up to go turn it off. The entire town of Ponyville had the sweetest bird song ever to wake up to. It was a gentle reminder that the day had begun and that it was time to wake up. One problem, though.
No snooze button.
"Argh, shut up you stupid birds!" I flipped over and tried to bury my head in the pillow, trying to drown out their racket. It was less than successful. In fact, it seemed that they got louder in response. "Can't an old man get some rest?"
"You're not an old man, silly, you're a young colt! And it's time to get up!" Pinkie's voice cut through the chirping birds. Me, I'm not a morning person. I don't like coffee but if I don't have my morning caffeine pill and Pepsi (ugh, Coke), I'm just not ready to call myself awake. And, depending on what I did last night, my hangover cure (raw egg, instant coffee powder, hot sauce and just a bit of whiskey). Pinkie is an any-time-mare it seemed. I groaned and uncovered my head.
It was dark when I had collapsed into bed last night and I really hadn't gotten a good look around - what with Fluttershy cooing at me and singing lullabies. Now that it was morning, I could take some time to glance at the room I had been snoring in. And it only took a second for me to realize that I really didn't want to stay. It was blue, sure, but man was it frilly.
"Pumpkin likes blue I guess," I mumbled as my mind tried to come to terms with all the lace. A pair of windows with yellow curtains bright enough to hurt poured sunlight into a very bright blue room. There were flower and, weirdly, soccer ball designs imprinted in the paint that seemed to match the contents of the room perfectly - flowers on the bedside table and soccer paraphernalia spread about the floor. The bed was in a corner opposite the now-opened door - Pinkie evidently just passing by to wake the 'foals' up - and aside from a dresser with socks of all things sticking out of the drawers and the slight mess on the floor, the room was pretty empty. With a long-suffering sigh, I tossed the lemon-yellow bed spread aside and tumbled out of bed. As I lay on my face, my eyes twirling in different directions, I mumbled to myself.
"I have got to get the hang of getting out of these things."
After having been subjected to Mr. Cake's hoof-y ministrations last night, you'd think I would know where the dang bathroom is.
Nope.
After stumbling out of the bedroom I was temporarily inhabiting, I managed to find every. Single. OTHER. Room in the entire place EXCEPT the bathroom. It wasn't even a very complex building! Three floors, that's it. First floor, Bakery. Second floor, Cakes Residence. Third floor, Pie Residence. How in the world could I miss an entire room? After struggling to find a toilet - and failing - I was pee-dancing my way down stairs to ask for directions. Why was it so dark down there anywa-
"SURPRISE"
A hundred voices shouted at me from below. The lights snapped on and I saw ponies packed into the bakery. Unfortunately, that was about as far as my brain got with trying to interpret anything before my neurons shocked themselves into a semblance of wakefulness. With a girlish scream, I tried to leap backwards. My hind hooves caught the edge of one of the steps however and that was just enough to throw me off balance. i think I kinda hovered there, in between falling and standing, for just a little longer than physics should have allowed me. But I'm no Pinkie Pie and I went tumbling head-over-tail into a pile of blue pony parts at the bottom of the steps. Pinkie bounced over from where she stood in the front of the 'call the fire marshal' level packed crowd.
"Were you surprised?! Were ya, were ya, were - sniff ew, Bruce! I didn't think it was THAT startling!"
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OH god. . . Why didn't I think that she would throw a party for him? It IS Pinkie Pie after all.
Abort! ABORT!
Image: http://i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii516/Klutzybear/5fa.jpg
Image: http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134314356828.pngLOL
keep up the good work
I think it's a case of, they can't do anything about it. Remember, they're dealing with a colt that (in their mind) -
1) Has been horrifically abused both physically, emotionally, and sexually. (sexually abused and traumatized to a degree that I can barely comprehend.)
2) Been forced to eat meat.
3) Smokes, swears, and drinks alcohol
4) Abandoned
5) Is most likely a Diamond Dog slave escapee
The Counselor notes state -
This is beyond anything I have ever seen.This is a complex case and I don't know if I can handle it alone.
They have to tread so carefully around him, like walking on glass. Trying to force him to talk about something he obviously doesn't isn't going to work. And going ballistic over it would just clam him up further.
Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/JIZZ.+IN.+MY.+PANTS..+I+CAME+SO+HARD_2db4fb_3229236.jpgI stay suprise dat no one wen post dis shit
Image: http://cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1187/587/2012/08/04/04_07_56_215_66313__safe_pinkie_pie_artist_speccysy_reaction_image
Perfectly said, I would love to see this situation stretch far it can be stretched.
There should be scene as well where Bruce finally acquires some smokes, I KNOW the feeling that he is having in that story; I devolve into something of fuzzy monster-less than human if I don't have a drag or find a alcohol as way to deal with this.
Awww, poor Bruce
Though from the title I knew somepony was gonna piss somewhere they weren't supposed too.
It was nice though that Bruce finnaly got to vent some of his frusration, I find that sometimes it feels good to shout out your problems as loud as you can. And I wonder how long he can go before trying to kill something to get at its meat.
Still thourgholy enjoy the chapters and can't wait for more.
Me, I want to see a new psych eval with the new information to find out what the good doctor thinks is going on. After all, we now have three new pieces of information to theorize about.
* Knows identity of two auxiliary ponies on sight.
* Nervous about and avoiding anyone in guard armor.
* Has eaten.. (ugh) .. MEAT!
I would've thought that Ms. Meadows would forbid Pinkie from pulling something like this.
What in the world made Pinkie even think that this would be a good idea?
...And don't answer that, because I already know the answer.
And is public urination still frowned upon, I wonder...
Pepsi is God's nectar.
Guys? This is the HARDEST Spring has EVER pushed Bruce to tell her something. She's not going to yell, bribe or do anything else that might harm him further but, yes, she REALLY wants to know where this came from. I described eating meat as akin to eating bugs for Westerners. Well, it's a bit worse than that really. It's almost like it's a bare half-step away from cannibalism to the ponies. Considering the intellect of the animals we've seen so far, can you really blame them for being a bit grossed out?
...? Well, I mean, yes, a bit (the brain affects the mind and all) but I don't see where it's more obvious than normal. He fell down some stairs while having to pee really badly, it's, uhm, gonna happen.
He has no idea how to handle people at home. Now everyone's an alien.
She's not going to be the first. She just knew he needed a quiet, supporting shoulder.
He's married! Don't you know, that means your sex life is over.
Let's just say Spring had input into the party. Though the 'surprise' party aspect was an ... unexpected side she didn't think about.
Weeeellllll, I have a thought. I just have to find the perfect pony for the job.
Minalkra: Achievement List
Idiot (-10 pts): You have sunken to the level of toilet humor in a fic you are writing.
DUMASS (-50 pts): You have failed to get an editor or pre-reader for any fic you are writing.
Are you stupid? (-100 pts): You have forgotten important parts of the fic YOU ARE WRITING
Not even an hour in the day and he has already peed in his proverbial pants. Having a small bladder will be the bane of his existence.
You know what would be really scary to admit...He has eaten horse meat before at an exotic restaurant. Not pony meat, but the difference is negligible.
>>1040283 Can he at least run into Tiara and Spoon while Meadows and maybe Cherilee are with him, and they're discussing Cutie Marks? Or be introduced to a bunch of children "his age". I can easily see the questions that would come up, for instance: What do your Cutie Marks even mean? That you will never do anything of value, and will just be rich brats until you die? What can you possibly contribute to society if your special talents involve silver spoons and diamond tiaras! Honestly, we already have two immortal princesses, so what can you possibly do with your tiara?
Aaand long rant is long.
Oh, by the way. You totally shouldn't neglect to bring up that whole i-don't-wanna-turn-into-a-cupcake tantrum Bruce threw in the hospital somewhere. Nothing says 'possible trauma' than a nine-year old who very graphically describes himself getting mutilated and baked into luxury goods whilst openly admitting to casually feasting on the flesh of innocent animals…Well…In Equestria at least.
Another hilarious chapter. The whole pee dance down the stairs only to get ambushed by The PInk One and a hundred ponies was great. I think one of the best things about this story is that everything that is normally written as being great is being turned up on it's head.
To illustrate my point, lets go through some of the list shall we?
Find yourself in Equestria as a pony? Swear like a sailor. Find out the ponies are caring and want to help you? Throw a nic fit. The wonderful Pinkie Pie wants to be your friend? Say terrible things till she goes Pinkemena Diane Pie on your ass. They want to provide you with food and shelter? Run away and hide in a contraceptive filled dumpster. They're throwing a huge party for you as a welcome, something you've never likely received before on this scale and you've only been around for a day and it should be totally heartwarming and touching? Urinate all over yourself.
Glorious.
Loving this fic.
I totally expected Spring to be a bit more incredulous when Pinky told her about the meat thing. More along the lines of "has Bruce been eating meat or is he just dreaming up violent scenarios due to past abuse?" Things like mentioning cupcakes (obviously a made up story featuring ponies he just met) point to the latter whereas a quick blood check (if the alcohol was still in his system post transform, then it's a good bet so is the bacon from dinner) would confirm the former.
I'm guessing there is a scale of ickyness for eating meat? Chowing down on chicken which seems unable to speak is not as bad as chowing down on beef which has the legal standing to rent barn space from AJ? After all the gryphons look like carnivores and the ponies don't freak out about them.
Possibly overthinking this. 
She was trying to find out about it. Hence the 'you can tell me anything' parts.
As to the scale, uhm, no. It's a cultural thing primarily. Real equines can and sometimes do eat meat. Ponies can (they eat eggs, that shows they can digest animal-based proteins) but it's such a cultural taboo that meat of any sort is - just no. It's all 'bad.' But it does taste good ...
Fudge it. One raw egg, one of those 'mix yourself' instant coffee packets (or like a teaspoon of ground coffee if you've got the balls), a few shakes of a Tabasco sauce bottle and half a shot of whiskey or so. Here is a wiki-article about it.
EDIT: Huh, that lacks the coffee. I've never had it without some coffee in it.
...
I sincerely regret the fact that I can only like this story once.
On another note, I love the initial talk with the psychologist. Granted, it was shorter and less excruciatingly awkward than I hoped, but you got it down _perfectly_ for a child psychologist who needs to know.
Not that I know what that's like - it just fits my expectation.
Also - thanks for the hangover cure recipe. I reckon that might come in handy in a few years.
Hahahaha, this is great! As a hard-partyin' late-20s urbanite I know a lot of my reactions would be similar. I think after the shock wore off I'd likely get incredibly flippant and end every other sentence with "But what do I know, I'm crazy!" or try to intentionally badly pretend I'm really a kid.
Ironically I think when the cupcakes finally hit the fan there's a lot of potential to keep things from getting too dark just by using Bruce's reactions to the adults' assumptions, all like, "You think I was WHAAAAT!?" They're sitting around acting all intervention-grade serious and Bruce is completely losing his shit because now he understands what all those looks were for. Which of course makes them even more concerned, etc.
I like that you've also managed to work in a little tenderness at the same time, though - Pinkie especially is charming in her concern when her attempts to break through to him backfire.
Anyway, keep up the great work - I can't wait for the next installment.
this story is awesome
here, have some random fanart:
Image: http://img6.imagebanana.com/img/w8p2wbn2/SOAP.jpghope you like it
I'm starting to think it's best if Spring Meadows never does discover Bruce' true nature, since that might mess up all the funny. She might be happier seeing a happy, well-integrated Bruce, thinking it was a job well-done, even if she did never discover the true depth of his 'dark, dark history'.
Nah, it'll come out at the very end.
Also "happy, well-integrated Bruce?" Are we reading the same story here? Actually, yeah, you'll probably see him being all happy. Just, uhm, probably not that well adjusted. Course, I'm hitting a 'funny-drought' in the current chapter due to srs bznss conversations. I need to snark it up a bit before I post it. It's being a bitch.
woopsy
Not only did his little colt body finely reveal just how inconvenient it really wants to be it did so right in front of a huge group of ponies who were all paying super close attention to him at that time.....
oh joys of life, how generous they are to thee
Hope not to many potential bullies are there to witness this or he may end up with his own theme song.
I mean sure now that he knows this will probably be the last time he lets his body get get the best of him... in this area anyways, but you know how foals are, it only ever has to happen once.
Are you ready foals?
I said are you ready?
who lives in a pastry with crazy pinkie
blue colt wet pants
Needs pants absorbent and plastic does he
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
If bodily nonsense be something you wish
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
Then just give him a shock and you'll hear a wet splish
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants
blue colt wet pants, blue colt wet pants!
I made you a fanart:
Image: http://i.imgur.com/DiViE.jpgAgain, I really like the tone of this story because I mean, if Ponyville really were a real place of *course* there would be things like used condoms in the garbage that we just never see.
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