We Are Number One But it's a My Little Pony Crossover
It was another sunny (and sporty) day in Lazytown, with Sportacus wowing the population once again with his crazy flips all over town. The blue-suited superhero raced through town, getting the citizens to stay fit and exercise along with him, to which Stephanie, the eight year-old girl who had recently moved to Lazytown beamed with glee.
It was always a marvelous sight to see Sportacus pull off impossibly amazing stunts. Every single time, it always got the town moving again and further from its original name, "Lazytown". For a town named as such, it never really was lazy at all after Stephanie had arrived and got the aide of the spectacular Sportacus to turn the town from sloth to sport.
However, noble intentions they may be, there was always one who preferred the town when its citizens were couch-potatoes.
"Curses! That Sportacus is up at this hour? I can feel my beauty sleep pouring right out of me!" a man with slick and well groomed black hair arose from his bed, furious inside his underground lair. He grabbed a hold of his periscope and poked it from a manhole in the town. Just as he expected, his athletic adversary was already up in the morning, with the townsfolk cheering as he somersaulted straight over a bench and landed perfectly on his feet.
Robbie Rotten, villain extraordinaire and master of trickery flopped down into his orange and fluffy chair, hand stroking his magnificently built chin.
"That floppity-flippity Sportacus never ceases to keep this town fit and noisy!" Robbie furled his eyebrows, indicating his deviously annoyed look, "I wish I could go back to a simpler time, where everyone stayed indoors and ate junk food! Not this 'Oh! Let's be healthy and jog around like lunatics everywhere! Bah!"
Robbie then rose from his fuzzy throne and walked over towards a platform in his lair. Next to it was a lever he pulled, and a huge tube enveloped around him. Whirs and thuds came from within, and when it lifted up, Robbie was perfectly dressed-
-as a ballerina. Fit completely with a pink leotard and tutu.
"What the- No! This isn't what I wanted!" Robbie clenched his fist and pouted at his ridiculous appearance. He wasted no time pulling the lever again, and instead found himself in a plain grey suit with a red tie. His pants were black and were probably worth a fortune. Again, he professed his dissatisfaction.
"Well, you can't deny the evil of a corporation, but I'm beyond that!" Robbie pulled the lever once again, and the machine finally dressed him properly.
Emerging from the tube was a very well dressed Robbie with a striped red and purple jumpsuit that clipped halfway up his body. This gave way to a very stylish and small vest that adorned his chest. Underneath was a blueish purple uniform that was always kept spotless, despite how many holes Robbie had gotten himself stuck in.
"Finally! Attire worthy of an antagonist!" Robbie rubbed his hands together and grinned wickedly, marching over towards the exit platform of his lair.
"Today will be the day that I will catch Sportacus and end his spree of sportiness!" Robbie pulled the lever to head to the surface in order to ruin Sportacus's plans.
It didn't work.
"Oh come on! Not this one too!" he jerked the lever over and over, but the platform wouldn't rise up. Over and over he pulled and shoved, until he gave up and sat back down in his chair.
"Forget it! I didn't even want to go outside anyways." Robbie sat back in his chair, and nestled deep within it. It was one of the comfiest things he had ever had the pleasure of owning, and he made full use of it. He seemed to just sink back into the chair more and more. He smiled to himself and clasped his hands behind his head.
"Ah... finally some peace and quiet-"
All of a sudden, footsteps could be heard overhead, pounding at the top of his underground lair. This immediately broke Robbie from his trace of tranquility and broke his face into a scowl. The denizens were jogging around again, no doubt with Sportacus and Stephanie, and now Robbie was getting the short end of the stick.
"Agh! All of that exercising, I hate it!" Robbie suddenly got up from his chair, tired of the non-stop cheering and sounds of joy and cheer, "That's the last straw!"
Robbie grabbed his overly complex orange telephone, zipped his finger around the circular dial, and waited for someone to pick up on the other line. The dialing sound rang in his ear, until someone had picked up on their side.
"Ah, Super Villain Surplus! Just who I wanted to speak to!" Robbie had connected to the sales associate on the other end.
"I would like to order an extra-dimensional transporter!" Robbie pointed his finger up with a devious smile, as if indicating the quantity in real life, "And I want to pay for the super-speedy delivery option!"
Then, the sales associate started to speak again.
"Complementary oven mitts with a purchase of that size?" Robbie snickered and nodded, "My, these deals are so good, it's criminal!"
The sale associate on the other end rolled her eyes. Robbie promptly hung up after confirming the order, and turned his chair around towards his entrance to the hideout: a long orange tube that lead from a manhole up above.
Almost immediately, a gigantic crate obviously too big for the pipe created a bulge within as it traveled down and smashed onto the ground. Robbie Rotten rubbed his hands together and gave a little chuckle as he looked over the massive crate.
"Oh my! They aren't kidding with super fast delivery." Robbie then proceeded to struggle to open the crate with all of his might. At last, one panel of the box came down straight down and he looked over the complex machine inside.
Within the crate was a massive mirror hooked up towards a platform, completely chrome of course, since everything in the future was chrome.
"Not too keen on the color, but it's just what the villain ordered!" Robbie pointed his finger up and smiled rottenly. He rubbed his hands together one more time and promptly started to look around the machine for the power switch and a place to plug in a cord. He searched over the machine and found a massive green button labeled "POWER", but no cord to be plugged in.
"Argh! Where is that cursed cord?!" Robbie lifted the entire machine up on one side, then set it back down with a huge thump. Then, Robbie got a thought in his head, and dreading what he may find, referred back to the massive instruction manual that had been inside of the crate.
As he feared, he read a passage, "Requires 24 AA batteries to operate. Charger and batteries sold separately."
"WHAT?!"
At this point, Robbie was furious as he threw away the manual.
"Why didn't they tell me that the batteries are separate?! That's it! Let's see how much business they will get after I take to the user reviews!" Robbie fumed towards the platform to get out of the hideout, and as if the lever could sense his irritation, it functioned when it was pulled. Robbie began to rise up to the surface to go purchase some batteries and afterwards, leave a one-star rating on customer service.
"Alright everypony! Get those hooves in the air!" Rainbow Dash called out over the megaphone towards the massive crowd before her, "And welcome to the Sisterhooves Social, hosted this year by yooooour's truly!"
The ponies all stamped their hooves and expressed their enthusiasm, cheering and hollering in unison. The pegasus took the opportunity to add more to her previous statement, "As always, all ages, no matter how young or old are welcome!"
Amidst the crowd, three fillies in particular were especially excited this year. Applebloom once again had teamed up with her sister from Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack. After days (and nights) of pleading and begging from Sweetie Belle, Rarity agreed to participate in the race with her younger sibling.
However, Scootaloo was especially excited. Rainbow Dash herself promised her that she would come in the race and participate alongside her since one: she didn't have a sister, and two: so she wouldn't be left out from her friends.
"I still can't believe that I get to race with Rainbow Dash herself! Oh man, I hope that I can keep up with her! She'll understand if I can't keep up, right?" she looked uneasily towards her friends, to which they both rested their arms over her shoulders.
"Scootaloo, don't worry about a thing. You get to be with the pony you've always dreamed to be! Ain't that exciting enough?" Applebloom smiled reassuringly at her friend.
"Yeah, and you both gotta finish together for your place to count. It's not like she's gonna ditch you for first." Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes and giggled.
Then, Rainbow Dash herself trotted over and looked down at the three fillies talked to one another.
"Hey there squirt, ready to win this thing?" Rainbow Dash held out her hoof for a hoofbump, to which Scootaloo returned the gesture awkwardly.
"Ah' mean, this is a charity event, right? To fix the windows at the school after you did a flyby over the weekend and knocked them out?" Applebloom rose her eyebrow with a smile.
"What?! How do you know it was me- I mean... uh... I got no clue what you're talking about." Rainbow Dash glanced the other direction and leaned one hoof on a rock.
"Dash, mah sister said that the burn mark on the school's side was caused by your wing. Can any other pegasus fly so fast to leave such a thing?" Applebloom explained, "Besides, everypony knows. And suddenly making yourself hosting the event to fix the school's windows is a little but odd, don't yah' think?"
Rainbow Dash pursed her lips and deflated, "Ya got me there."
Nevertheless, Rainbow Dash got back up to Scootaloo, "But squirt, you didn't answer my question! Are you ready?"
Scootaloo beamed with glee and jumped into the air, her wings buzzing and squealed, "Yeah!"
"Alright! Let's get you a number!" the two ponies started off away, just in time for when the other two mares arrived.
"Where's that Rainbow Dash? I still gotta give her a peace of mah' mind for that little 'stunt' she pulled off near the school." Applejack fumed, but then ruffled the hair of her little sister, "Hey there sugarcube!"
Rarity however, was wearing completely different attire than normally. Completely covered in a yellow hazmat suit with a clear visor, she stopped in front of her sister.
"Uh, Rarity? What's with-" Sweetie Belle started.
"Oh! This? Just a little precaution against the... mud... and... dirt... and... water- honestly Sweetie Belle, why do you want to do this every year?" Rarity asked.
"Oh come on! We talked about this, and you had no problem getting yourself covered in mud last year!" Sweetie Belle threw up her hooves in protest. At this, Rarity sighed and unzipped the protective gear and tossed it aside.
"If you insist..." Rarity sighed, but got a smile back on her face, "Come on Sweetie Belle. Let's try and keep Applejack from getting her hooves on Rainbow. Damage may have been done, but she's taking the effort to reprehend her misdemeanors."
"There she is! On the podium! Hosting this event? I'll let you host your hospital bill, Rainbow Dash!" Applejack cried out, to which Rainbow Dash noticed her in the crowd and slunk ever so slightly down as she prepared to call ponies to their places.
Robbie promptly splatted straight down onto a pile of leaves as the inter-dimensional teleporter wasn't gracious enough to put him on the soil, but rather a bit up higher. He burst out of the raked stack and brushed off his clothes from the leaves that had clung to it. Spending a lot of time underground in his lair didn't help him when he had to put his hand over the top of his head to shield himself from the sun.
At once, he pulled himself out of the pile and looked around. It seemed that he was in a field with some sort of thatched housed village not too far away.
However, the only thing that he seemed to care about was what was missing.
Noise.
Robbie finally only could hear the wind blowing against his ears as he looked around.
Suddenly, he jumped up into the air with glee and clicked his heels, "Aha! Success! Finally some peace and quiet where everyone's indoors-"
"Alright everypony! Are you ready to get this race started?!" a raspy voice blared from a megaphone behind Robbie, causing him to cringe intensely.
"Yeah!" a crowd cheered, getting Robbie to plug his ears.
He was not content with this. Not at all. After all of the time he spent getting those batteries (and refusing the help of Stephanie for when he forgot his wallet back at the lair), and him writing fifteen drafts of the complaint to Super Villain Surplus before he actually placed it in...
...there was noise. So much of it.
"No, no, no! Here too?!" Robbie turned around and bared witness to a massive group of candy-colored miniature horses stamping around and cheering at one particular pony on the platform in front of them. Sporting multicolored hair in the spectrum of a rainbow and pumping up the crowd, the pony continued to keep the crowd hyped to what appeared to be some sort of event.
Then, Robbie shifted his eyes towards what they were preparing for. A long obstacle course fit with mud pits, barrels, chicken coups, and all sorts of other odd stations scattered about. At the end, there was a black and white checkered line on the ground.
It was a race.
"A...race?!" Robbie clenched both of his fists and scrunched up his face into a scowl, "The citizens here are fit too?! Did that cursed Sportacus follow me here as well?!"
Robbie suddenly started turning his head around and looking closer at the crowd to find the man dressed in blue (or a pony similar to such with the unmistakable accent), but found nothing.
Then, the rainbow-maned pony got up from the platform, unfurled two wings, and suddenly did a somersault in the air. The crowd went crazy at this.
But not Robbie, for he had discovered the clear source of the race.
That pony had to be in charge of it, and was also getting these townspe- ponies on an active lifestyle as well.
Possibly, that pony may be a super hero as well.
"Curses! Another super hero?! What does a villain have to do to get away from those goody-do-gooders?!" Robbie stamped his foot on the ground, but stepped straight onto the same rake that had probably been used to herd the leaves into the same pile he landed in before.
When the rake went back down and Robbie rubbed his face from the comical smack, Robbie looked over towards his new nemesis.
The blue pony with the rainbow mane was ushering ponies to take their staring positions. The race would start and Robbie would be subject to all of the terrible pounding of hooves. He could only imagine how worse it would sound than jogging feet.
"This will not do!" Robbie suddenly stood on top of the hill with a finger raised to the air, "I, Robbie Rotten, will stop this ridiculous race! And to do that, I'll damper this pony's plans!"
Robbie snickered maniacally and stroked his magnificent chin.
"But first, every villain needs some tools..." Robbie looked to his right, and found nothing. On his left, however, was what appeared to be a tool shed.
"Perfect!" Robbie sneaked over on his tip toes and opened the shed. He was then buried in an avalanche of tools and contraptions from within, "Grah! So much junk!"
Then, as he looked over the things he was buried in, Robbie could see every potential use for them.
"Hmmm... yes! This will do just nicely!" Robbie chuckled and freed himself from the prison of junk, "As they say, one man's trash is an antagonist's tools!"
With his newfound objects strewn all over him, he sneakily tip-toed his way down the hill and into a bush by the race track, eager to put his devious and fool-proof plan into motion. Looking around to make sure none of those horses spotted him, Robbie got to work.
"On your marks, get set, go!" Rainbow Dash announced while she was at the starting line herself. In an instant, she took off galloping like the rest of the ponies, with Scootaloo struggling to match her unparalleled speed.
"You okay, squirt?" Rainbow Dash craned her head back to find the panting and struggling filly behind her.
"No! I'm totally fine! We'll- *puff* win this!" she said in between heavy breaths as she forced her tiny legs to carry her forward like nothing before.
"Alright! The others are catching up, and we're heading towards our first obstacle!" Dash called back, seeing the other ponies start to catch up to her.
"Remind me again why the host of the race is participatin' in it as well?!" Applejack voiced her irritation towards her friend.
"Awh, lighten' up sis! She's also doin' it to help fix the school!" Applebloom looked up to her older sister, running beside her.
"She was the one who trashed it in the first place!" Applejack outstretched a single hoof towards Rainbow, who rolled her eyes, "That pony's more backwards than a cart pullin' the stallion!"
Robbie menacingly rubbed his hands together and gave a cackle as the rope had been tied to a tree on the other side of the track, right before the mud pit.
"Ah-hah! Now when that blue buffoon comes racing along the track, she'll trip on this rope and fall right into the pit! Getting covered head to hoof in mud in front of all of these citizens should surely demoralize her beyond any sort of rehabilitative care!" the villain flashed a malicious grin as he could see the pegasus round the corner. At once, Robbie pulled on his end, tightening the rope across the path.
"My, my. It seems you're about to fall head-over-heels for me!" despite the terrible pun, Robbie snickered again as he watched in anticipation at the approaching pony.
Then, another rounded the corner with her.
Then another.
Very soon, a flood of ponies had caught up to the blue pegasus, stampeding towards Robbie.
"We're catchin' up to you, Rainbow Dash! I ain't gonna let you rub a win in our faces!" an orange pony with a sountern accent shouted as she pushed all of her might to catch up with Robbie's target, apparently named "Rainbow Dash".
However, Robbie's eyes grew more and more wide as a gigantic tidal wave of horses charged straight for the mud-pit, and his rope.
He couldn't let go in time. Robbie was flung straight from the bush, and the small tree that he was tied the rope around became uprooted from the force of every single pony meeting the rope at the same time. All of a sudden, the unstoppable force overcame the hazard that Robbie had set. The evil mastermind now found himself yanked straight from the bush, both hands on the rope, and dragged straight through the mud pit, covering him head to toe. He rolled around and was dragged through the entire trench of filth, coming out on the other side encased in a glop of mud.
Ponies all ran around him, as thankfully, the mud masked his appearance and he matched a dazed pony's appearance, as he found himself curled up in a ball.
He could see Rainbow Dash galloping off along with the other ponies.
"Oh my, excuse me miss." a white mare with very well-groomed purple hair carefully navigated around Robbie's mud-soaked shell, and continued onward along with the filly that was by her. When they passed, Robbie rose up, fuming with anger.
"Grah! Well, it seems that this might be a bit more difficult than I had though! On to Plan B!" Robbie held up his finger and scampered away towards another bush further down the track, cutting across to get ahead of the competitors.
Robbie finished up his next devious trick: the tried and true camouflaged pit trap. Quickly digging a hole into the track, lacing the top with sticks and raking leaves over to mask the danger that lurked underneath, Robbie hid behind a tree trunk and stroked his very well-built chin.
"Now this cannot possibly fail! As that blasted blue athlete comes galloping along, she'll fall right into my trap, and she'll be disqualified! That outta put a dent into her plans!" Robbie snickered deviously and turned towards the approaching Rainbow Dash.
"Hah! Here she comes!" Robbie clenched both of his fists and gave a toothy grin as the pony rounded another corner.
He witnessed Rainbow Dash approached straight for the covered hole, right on the path to fall straight down.
"Yes! YES!" Robbie suddenly saw a family of ducks start to cross the track, to which Rainbow Dash briefly spread her wings, and leaped into the air for a split second to avoid the waterfowl, and hop right over where the hole was supposed to be.
"NO!" Robbie's hands opened and he shook with dissatisfaction, "Curse you ducks! Curse you, Rainbow Dash!"
"Wenk." the lead duck turned towards Robbie and quacked, continuing on her merry way.
"Come back here!" Robbie suddenly burst out from behind the tree to give pursuit of Rainbow Dash, but stepped on the same rake that he used to cover the hole with leaves, smacked the handle on his face, and stumbled backwards right into the same hole he dug. Landing on his rump, a swath of dust kicked up as he fell to the bottom with a thump. Above him, Robbie could hear more voices.
"Careful Applebloom!"
"Ah see it, sis!"
"Sweetie Belle, watch out for that hole!"
"What, do you think I'm blind or something?"
As the ponies galloped overhead, Robbie then formulated another scheme to nab that cursed pony. All of his efforts to find peace and quiet, even in another world shall not go in vain. Robbie climbed out and flopped down onto the dirt road, imagining up another plan.
Suddenly, it struck him. Like that rake.
"Ah-hah! Of course! They don't call me-" Robbie suddenly got up, spun around, and emerged dressed very neatly as a salesman, complete with a briefcase and everything, "a master of disguise for nothing!"
Robbie quickly fixed his tie as once again, he cut across the curving track to reach the one pony in the lead: Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash looked over he shoulder. Just three more turns and a straightaway, and she would get to the finish line first! However, when she looked back, she found that Scootaloo had fallen drastically behind, so she made the effort to stop and wait for her. She knew how much it meant to the filly to cross the finish line with her, so Rainbow Dash couldn't just leave her in the dust.
"Take your time, Scootaloo! You're way ahead of the others!" Rainbow Dash yelled back.
"I've got a cramp in my leg!" Scootaloo shouted further away, the distance drowning out her voice.
"Oh boy." Rainbow Dash was about to go back to help her-
"Wait! Wait!"
She spun around towards a tree, and out popped an incredibly unusual creature. Well, she's seen plenty of unusual creatures with her friends, so it wasn't too strange compared to the things she's seen, but the tall and stocky build, as well as a lack of visible fur except on the top of this figure's head was certainly off putting.
It was waving its hands around frantically, urging her to stop.
"Hold it right there!" the creature outstretched its hand, "I am Rah Bue Blind, and oh boy do I have a deal for you!"
Rah placed down his briefcase, opened it on his end, and started to fumble around in it. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof on the ground impatiently as Mr. Blind took his sweet time digging around whatever was inside of the luggage.
"Look, sir, I reeeaaallly gotta get going and-" Rainbow Dash was cut off when Mr. Blind jumped right back up from digging around his briefcase.
"Hold that thought!" Mr. Blind held up a finger, "Now, I must ask you, and surely you have been in this predicament before! Have you ever thought to yourself, 'Jee, my hooves are all sticky and slimy with goo and I can hardly get them off the ground!' before?"
"What the- no, of course not-"
Mr. Blind took a can of purple goop from his briefcase, and flung a swath of it all over her two frontal hooves in the middle of her sentence.
*splut*
Rainbow Dash looked down at her hooves.
Then she looked back up.
Mr. Blind cut her off again as she opened her mouth.
"Now, have you ever thought to yourself, 'Jee, my hooves are all sticky and slimy with goo and I can hardly get them off the ground!' before?" Rah smiled and rubbed his hands together, "Of course you have! And I got something right here to make that mess manageable!"
Mr. Blind dug around in the suitcase and produced two horseshoes for Rainbow Dash, "These spiffy shoes will do the trick!"
"Are you serious?! You just sabotaged me just so you could sell those crummy horseshoes?! They even look too big for me!" Rainbow Dash was beyond furious right now, and snorted out of her nose. At this, Mr. Blind held up his hands in cowardly defense.
"It's free of charge!"
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash sat on her rump and thrust out her hooves at him.
"Fit them on! I'm running a bit late now!" Rainbow Dash demanded, to which Mr. Blind complied and stuck the shoes onto her hooves, the goo acting as an adhesive to keep them on. When Rainbow Dash touched the ground with her front hooves, the shoes separated the ground from her sticky hooves, preventing her from sticking right onto the dirt path.
"Well, it seems my job here is done! Tah-tah!" Mr. Blind waved his hand and skipped away over the hill.
"Weirdo." Rainbow Dash muttered to herself as she got back to her hooves to make it to Scootaloo, but when she started off, she fell right onto her face, her front hooves behind her back now.
"What the- these are heavy!" Rainbow Dash inspected the horseshoes, "Size 25 custom made for Big Mac?! Argh!"
The pegasus now strained to hover herself off the ground, but these horseshoes had to have been made of some sort of gravity-intensifying material.
At least that's what it felt like. She would have to give far more respect for Big Mac, lugging these shoes around. Rainbow Dash looked over towards the hill to where Mr. Blind had gone off to, but found that he was disappeared.
"You scammer! If I ever see you again Mr Blind, I'll-" Rainbow Dash stopped her yelling and thought a bit, "Mr. Blind. Rah Bue Blind. Rob You Bli- oh."
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head, "Kinda walked into that one."
"Rainbow Dash!"
"Scootaloo!"
The orange pegasus after all that time had finally caught up to her idol, "Jeez, I'm finally here! What what are those on your hooves?"
"They're horseshoes and I got scammed! Help me get these off!" Rainbow Dash sat down and frustratingly tried to remove the shoes with her teeth.
"Uh, how did you get scammed in the middle of the Sisterhooves Social? Actually, nevermind. Best not to think too hard about it." Scootaloo decided not to fathom of how this could have happened, and tried her hardest to pry the shoe from Rainbow Dash's goopy hoof with both of her's.
"Ew, what is this stuff?!"
"It's nothing!"
Scootaloo grit her teeth and heaved, her tiny wings buzzing to give her as much power as possible.
"Pull harder! I think it's coming off!" Rainbow Dash strained to pull opposite to Scootaloo.
"Almost... there...!"
The shoe flew off over Scootaloo's head, and impacted straight into a tree behind her, smashing it in half and sending splinters everywhere. The tree toppled down away from the track and landed. Dust kicked up as Scootaloo stared wide-eyed at these horseshoes.
"What kind of pony even wears these?!" Scootaloo asked as she arched her back again to pull off another shoe.
"Mac does! Pretty sure that scammer must have gotten them from somewhere!" Rainbow Dash spoke through gritted teeth as the other horseshoe came off, and fell to the ground. A massive thump was made as the dirt road's soil cracked underneath the shoe.
"Woah." Scootaloo noted as she looked at the horseshoes' destruction.
"Come on! I can see the others catching up!" Rainbow Dash smiled at Scootaloo, "Ready to win this thing, squirt?"
"You bet!" Scootaloo happily buzzed her wings and galloped after Rainbow Dash.
"Oh come on! This blue superhero gets another younger sidekick as well?! Why does the universe hate me so much?!" Robbie spied on the results from his escapade from a hill overlooking the finish line, "What do I have to do in order to make this town lazy?"
Then, Robbie looked at the finish line, then back at the racers. They were still a bit of a ways off.
"Of course!"
"Where in tarnation is the finish line?!" Applejack screeched to a halt behind Rainbow Dash, "What did you do with it, Rainbow?!"
At this, Rainbow Dash spun around, "H-Hey! Don't look at me! You know I'd want to win this, and you can't win without a finish line!"
"She's got a point, Applejack." Rarity chimed in.
"Yeah, but where is the end of the race now? It couldn't have disappeared!" Sweetie Belle made her thoughts clear, then went back on them, "Could it?"
Then, they heard laughter. Deep laughter. Maniacal laughter. Villainous laughter. Then, out of a bush stepped out the exact same creature that Rainbow Dash had been swindled by.
"Yes! I did it! The race is over because no one will win!" the odd beast danced around tauntingly at the ponies, who were at a mixture of confusion, unamusement, and curiosity at this weird thing in front of them, "I am number one, hey! Dooo, doot doodly doodly doo-doo, doo doo doo doot, doot, doot, doot, doodoodoodoodoo, hey!"
The ponies bare witness to this satyr-like thing dancing around, claiming that he stole the finish line and "he was number one".
Then, Applejack stepped forward.
"Alright, mister! Ya'll better start talkin', or these hooves are goin' right into yer' face!" Applejack demanded, "Are you another thing made by Discord to mess with us again?!"
At this, the creature rose his eyebrow and put his hand around his notably well-built chin, "I have no clue what you horses are going on about, but when you've been tricked by the master himself, I believe the least I could do is offer an explanation."
The man fixed his garments, "I am Robbie Rotten! Villain extraordinaire! Evil mastermind! The leader of laziness! Number one!"
Robbie laughed deviously again, rubbing his hands together, "And yes, I was the one who stole the finish line so that none of you could win and-"
"It's right over here behind that tree!" Sweetie Belle pointed towards two metal pillars that were behind a tree.
"Oh come on!" Robbie gripped his hair and pulled painfully hard, clearly making his frustration clear, "I have not come all of this way just to find yet another role model for the citizens of another town to follow an active lifestyle! Why can't there not be another Sportacus and his little sidekick everywhere I go?! Even as ponies!"
"Sportacus?" Rarity craned her neck in confusion.
"Yes! The role model that the citizens get their activities from! Jogging! Playing soccer! Eating healthy! All of the noise and activity drives me INSANE!" Robbie shouted and looked back at the ponies, pointing up a finger, "All because of you, Rainbow Dash! Being a role model to get everyone to exercise, I can't escape it!"
"Uh, who said Rainbow was a good role model? Half the time she's just dozing off in a cloud. The townsfolk here are just active. Nothin' changing that anytime soon." Applejack pointed to the crowd of ponies behind her.
"Yeah! I'm not a...- hey!" Rainbow Dash turned to her friend, who snickered a bit.
"All the citizens choose to be active?! Why aren't you all indoors playing video games?!" Robbie threw up his arms.
"Video what now?" Applejack rose an eyebrow.
"What? Okay, you must all have TV, right?" Robbie asked.
"TV?" Rarity replied with another question.
"Okaaayyy... what about sweets? Candy! Everyone loves junk food!" Robbie knew that he had this question in the bag.
"Oh! Pinkie Pie makes the best cup-mmmhp!" Applejack put her hoof over her little sister's mouth and replied for her, "Nope! Just apples and stuff like that!"
Robbie deflated at that answer once again. He craned his neck, hoping to see some car. Instead, a stallion was pulling a cart full of carrots.
"Well... I guess this isn't exactly a place for me. Heh..." Robbie looked back at the ponies, who slowly started to look more and more aggressive towards him, especially since Rainbow pointed him out as being the same guy that scammed her earlier, and the fact that he stole the entire finish line.
The lord of lounging looked around, then took a step back, "Now, I know what all of you are thinking and-"
"Now look at this net, that I just found! When I say go, be ready to throw!"
"Where's that coming from?" Scootaloo asked for the source of the tiny song.
"Oh, pardon me." Robbie held up a finger as he dug around his pocket for his cell phone, "Robbie Rotten speaking!"
The ponies looked at each other as Robbie talked into his tiny little device.
"My rental on the extra-dimensional teleporter is up? What are you going on about?! I paid to keep the thing!" Robbie looked over at the ponies as he was busy with whoever was on the other line, "I selected option B, which was lifetime usage! What?! What do you mean that was rental?! I even paid for express delivery!"
Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack, "You understandin' any of this?", to which Applejack shook her head.
"So my traveling privileges expire too?! Oh, well that's just-" Robbie slowly turned around towards the ponies who were creeping up on him, scowls on their faces.
"Actually, cancel it right now, and I will even revoke my one star review." Robbie suddenly spoke in desperation into the phone.
"Don't let him get away!" Rainbow Dash pointed, and the mares charged at him.
Robbie opened his eyes at a blue and fairly cloudy sky. He rubbed his head, an got to his feet, looking around. The misshaped houses with vibrant colors all began to ring the familiarity bell in his head.
Suddenly, Robbie dropped to his knees and broke out into a smiling and teared-up face.
"I'm home! Beautiful, beautiful Lazytown! Oh, how I've missed you!" Robbie suddenly got up and ran around, "I love the trees! I love the benches! I love the trash cans!"
Suddenly, Robbie spotted his arch-nemesis, Sortacus showing some of the townsfolk, and Stephanie how to play hackey sack. Immediately, Robbie ran straight up to the blue suited and mustached hero, and threw his arms round his side, lifting him up into the air for an embrace.
"Oh, it's so good to see you, Sportacus!" Robbie cheered as he lifted the athlete clear off of the ground.
"Woah! Robbie, you okay there buddy?" the Icelandic accent flowed out of Sportacus's mouth, asking if he was really feeling okay today.
"I am better than okay! I'm just so glad to be back!" Robbie sniffled another tear of joy.
Stephanie, Sportacus, and the other townsfolk shrugged.
"How in the name of Celestia did he get away like that?!" Rainbow Dash looked around at the empty space in between her hooves, and groaned as the entire set of racers was on top of her in the dog-pile that was meant to trap Robbie.
"Ah don't know, but ah don't think he'll be comin' back anytime soon." Applejack knelt down to Rainbow Dash, who was still trapped under the pile of ponies, "Oh, and I hope you know that just because you hosted the race to raise bits for the damage you cause doesn't make ya'll exempt from workin'. Got it?"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and blew her mane out of her face, "Yeah, whatever."
She got up from that dog-pile, or more likely that pony-pile and brushed her coat off from the dust that had settled in it.
"The race is over, but I have to hand it to you, Rainbow Dash. This year's Sisterhooves Social really raised quite the donation." Rarity complemented her friend.
"Heh, thanks Rarity." Rainbow Dash replied as she flapped some of the dust off of Scootaloo.
The two walked together, but Rainbow Dash started to whistle a familiar tune.
"Uh, what song are you whistling?" Scootaloo craned her head up, asking her idol.
"Oh, uh, nothing."
Rainbow Dash had to admit, it was a really catchy song.
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Oh my god... Eh, fuck it...
7819856 Now look at this net.
Icelandic actually
7819866 Fixed.
7819863
This is honestly one of the most brilliantly stupid thing I've read yet! I'm glad that something good can come from a meme.
Especially since the meme is more a meme to spread awareness rather than insult.
7819863 Banana peel!
7819863 That I just found.
7819907 When I say go:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/249786138745765891/262825732776919040/1482368351545.jpg
>here's a little lesson in diplomacy
>this is going down in history
>if you want to be a turkroach number one
>you will have to shoot a rooskie with a gun
>just follow my move and skitter around
>be careful not to make a sound
>now look at this gun i just found
>when i say TOOT, be ready to shoot
TOOT
Shoot at HIM, not ME
7819907 I just realized what your name is. Haven't you touched Robbie enough already?
You should write The Nutshack one.
7819916
7819919
The most toxic comment section for an "Everyone" story.
Neat.
I love this, I love everything about this. Thank you for this masterpiece.
7819930 Don't thank me.
Thank Robbie.
EVERYONE GET OUT WE HAVE TOO MANY MAY MAYS!!1!1!!1
So many remixes of the song, and all of them are so good
Another fun story too
Somehow, I knew a story with Robbie Rotten was inevitable, and I was not disappointed.
7819914 Be ready to throw.
7819978 GO
7819981 Throw it on him, not me!
7819984 Ugh, let's try something else!
It's a Christmas miracle.
7819919 The Nutshack theme but every time they say Nutshack it's replaced with Raise This Barn but every time they count to four it's replaced with the entire Bee Movie but every time they say bee it's replaced with We are Number One but every time they say one it's replaced with the entire Marmaduke Movie but every time they say Marmaduke it's replaced with the Mine Song but every time they say mine it's replaced with The Art of the Dress where every tenth word is replaced with every episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
7819996 Now watch and learn, here's the deal:
7819999 Dang right it is.
7820003 he'll slip and slide on this banana peel!
7820021 What are you doing?!
I need a 500k word epic of mlp rotten robbie memes.
AT LAST!!!
i will be hoping this story inspires a whole slew of authors writing Robbie Rotten into Equestria!
i will even happily accept displaced stories, im that desperate...
7820024
I can say the sane as of why you decided to do this
CRUNCH!
NAY TOUCHETH NOT YOND!!
This story was better than it should have been.
I find this oddly hilarious since I have watched that meme non-stop for the last week.
Now do one about "TheLegend27" ;)
This is a certified hood classic.
What in the actual fuck did I just read?
ｎｏｗ ｌｏｏｋ ａｔ ｔｈｉｓ ｎｅｔ
7820396 A very great story and a well served dank meme
This meme has officially gone too far.
And I don't mind it.
7820455 What meme?
7820503 We Are Number One
7820510 Is it dank already? I think it's still at its height.
I have not read this story.
Nevertheless, however amazing or terrible it is you still deserve a like.
Well done, sir.
Seriously, how long is this fad going to last? :3
7819856 Everyone seems to be obsessed with this guy lately. Not that I'm really complaining, but still...
Now look at this fic, that I just found
Just the image of that man's creepy face as the cover image should require a gore tag.
7820753
Think of it like this. Because of everyone's obsession with him, he now has a chance to fully fund and cure his pancreatic cancer. So, in a weird way, I'm happy and everyone else should be happy that he became a meme.
https://youtu.be/-7ySdkhj-8c