Thank you Blueshift I shall accept my role of the former horse of war with evil glee

there is no circle of hell heinous enough for those who read and write fanfiction. I have no hope for death, only madness. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

I haven't even read this story and I can already tell it will be glorious.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

I saw that title and laughed like there was no tomorrow. Reading later.

Oh god. Feature bar, prepare for a storm.

There is nothing but a lack of Wi-Fi that can stop me from reading this story...

Damnit, I have to leave the hotspot now.

Blueshift, you win the internet. Forever.

-Tricondon

Hello! The fine folks at Foods Inc. would like to remind you that the Heaven's Gate mass-suicide used Flavor-Aid brand drink flavoring and not Kool-AId brand drink flavoring.

also this is awesome(as usual) - every line had a grin plastered onto my face, I want your babies, etc

Blueshift, you magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR FANFIC!

Oh, Blueshift.

I agree with michael. how dare that bastard think applejack is actually better than Luna.

But isn't it "technically" God that tortures everyone in hell? Including Satan?

>>851543851543

Sometimes Satan is a prisoner in Hell at the lowest circle enduring the worst punishments, sometimes he is ruling in Hell, depends which ancient texts you read. There's barely a mention of it in the Bible though, and nothing at all about Satan's role in it, so it's all open for debate

"I stand before you as beautiful Princess Luna, cute and shy!”"

There we have it. Satan is officially cutest pone.

Hard to believe heaven has no ponies. Still, a very enjoyable crazy Blueshift fic.

David let out a guttural sob as he collapsed back into his comfortable chair, vision blurry with tears while he stared at the bright computer screen that seemed to mock him incessantly.

...Blueshift, do you have anything you want to talk about?

I always thought Applejack was best pony. Now I see I'm in good company.

>>851670851670

N-n-no

As someone who has just reached a estimated words read of over ten million on this site, I am quite pleased with the idea of going to hell to read MLP fan fiction for all eternity.

The big issue is that now, people are gonna murder a box of kittens and burn down an orphanage, then off themselves to get to the new hell. I'm guessing that the truly evil souls will be forced to live in G3 and G3.5 My Little Pony.

Ummm... wat? I love it. And Satan is right. AJ is best pony.

So hell is where horrible fics go for moderation... it makes sense now!

Even though I'm an atheist, I can say I still love this fan fiction!

One of the funniest things I ever read.

>>851543851543

Not exactly, in many translations of the Bible, God is just described as just not allowing the damned to enter into his kingdom, it's never stated that he's the mastermind behind the tortures.

As for the story, it was decent. Let's just pray that no incarnation of the afterlife will ever function like ANY sort of way it was described in the story.

"What would Pinkie Pie do?"

"Invade Heaven?"

You bastard that was ridiculously hilarious!

This was good for a chuckle. Not enough pony in it for me, though. However, it looks like the denizens of Hell think otherwise.

First I read a story about Mihoshi (Tenchi Muyo) fixing up Hell and now bronies. When will the madness stop?!

Edit: Is it just me or I'm I seeing a disturbing trend that Equestria is now the new Heaven? Why am I okay with this?

"Now ride War, Famine and Pestilence, spread love and tolerance across Hell!”

L. O. L.

Heheh.  Funny stuff.  I was mad at first, since I've been working on a similar story where Lucifer is sent to Equestria, but when I realized you're the author of my favorite one-shot comedies on this site ("Nineteen Neighty-Four" and "Two Peas in a Pod") I had to read it.    Very clever.  I hope you give mine a chance, I'll think you'll appreciate the humor.

Meh, it was OOC. Pinkie Pie would definitely invade Heaven.

i like how you make fun of all the crappy fanfics out there "ALL THE PORN" this is a good fanfic: not offensive, quirky, original, funny, believable, and no pornography

Blue, you never cease to amaze me with your extraordinaire stories.

>>836130836130

guess we're all going to hell. oh well, at least they have ponies!

There are no words in any language that can properly convey how much I love this story.

And Applejack as best pony? I'm sure he meant to say Sweetie Belle.

Thank you for writing this...words can't express how amazing that was.

Image: http://d37nnnqwv9amwr.cloudfront.net/photos/images/original/000/225/400/sweetie%20belle%20that%20is%20beautiful.jpg

I can have no other reaction to this...this work of art!

My internets, you win them all!

I can absolutely see Dante coming back for a return visit to the post-frienship inferno

>>851502851502 Actually, you're thinking of Jonestown. Heaven's Gate used applesauce.

>>851721851721

Don't even speak of those retched things! Not even the Habsro guy who changed Derpy's name deserves that!

N.I.B. - Black Sabbath

So Satan got lonely after those South Park kids killed his gay lover, didn't he?

>>852617852617

Still not quality Kraft brand products.

This story is just completely...

*sunglasses*

HELLARIOUS!

Pun completely intended.

Very good, as usual, Blueshift.

My god.

My mind. It's broken.

Of all the things I've read in my life, this is the strangest. So... I should probably find something to top this?

This might be a totaly coincidence, but did you perhaps gain inspire from my story "Between us immortals..."? Since the plot is quite simular...

>>854325854325

I've not read that story, sorry!

>>854338854338 Only a coincidence then, nvm!

Amazing!!!! It also kinda represents what the fandom has become nowadays! XD

Gosh I love this story...

Oooh, Blueshift. Once again you don't dissapoint.

5/5

AHHH!!!! FUDGE THE WISH TO GO TO EQUESTRIA!!! ID RATHER STAY IN GOD"S WORLD!!! AHHHHH!!!! I CANT EVEN READ THIS HORRIBLE GORE STORY!!

>>855530855530

Psst there's no gore in it at all

>>855575855575 yes i know BUT ITS JUST SOO SCARY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUDGE.... no more apples now for me..... *gulp*

I cannot unseen this story as a "South Park" episode :D

>>856254856254

Nearly everything about this story was uncannily reminiscient of South Park. And no, I'm not accusing Blueshift of ripping anything off, if he's taking inspiration, at least he's taking it from something clever.

>>856309856309 Hey i'm not saying this is bad! Simply in my imagination, thx to story picture and to how Satan is acting , i see it in South Park style Story is quite nice and i simply love how Michael reacted for new "better" Hell.

If there's ever gonna be chapter 2, let thy Satan frolic with the Ponies of Equestria and have the best time ever.

This is beautiful. Needs more Fluttershy though.

>>856343856343

And I'm not saying your comment or the story was bad...I liked the story too, and the reason I said that was because I could relate to being put in mind of South Park as well.

>>857106857106 This thing make me want Stewie ending in Equestria now...(From Family Guy, with Brian ofc ;P)

The suicides are still turned into trees, right?

Loved it. Although, I'm pretty sure it is the cyanide that kills you, not the Kool Aid itself.

Someone may have used this expression but, "What the hell?"

>>857655857655

No no no, it is the inherent deadly properties of Kool-Aid

Yeah, this is pretty much awesome.

I laughed so much I got light-headed. That was simply hilarious.

Dear lord this is gold

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

You should read this again and fix the grammar

Michael slowly shook his head at the drama that had just unfolded. “Applejack, the best pony?” he muttered to himself. “Satan, you were indeed the most twisted and evil being to have ever existed.”

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applejack.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

>>859870859870 I knew that the kool-aid man was evil!

Now all i have to do is prove that Betty Crocker is actually an alien fish hitler and that the keebler elves want to steal our fingernails and all of my conspiracy theories will be true.

Oh sweet merciful Jesus, save me from the pits of Hell! I'll go to church! I'll give to the poor! I'll even stop wearing this fez! Just please, don't send me to Hell!

My eyes hath read thine most horrifying descriptions of eternal torture. I most certainly wish not to go to Hell after ponification.

i concur, he is indeed the most twisted of beings, for truly, pinkie pie is best pony.

>>851821851821

I would follow the party overlord into heaven.

>>851721851721

Way ahead of you.

Soooo....now i have to kill someone.....you know....just to make shure i go to hell.

I wonder if there's enough pony in it to consider this a pony story.

Somehow I got the impression that you cleverly described what happens behind the joyful facade of EqD.

Theist or not (I am not), this is so funny!

I have not laughed that hard in a while. Every line from Satan was read in Iron Will's voice and it was glorious. I cannot think of any way this story could have been any better.

This was most excellent!

But now I just want to read about Satans kooky adventures in Equestria!

What have you done? To get me hooked on a one-shot! Oh the humanity!