A Day in the Life of Flash Sentry

by Silver Inkwell

Another Regular Ordinary Day

It was just another day in the life of Flash Sentry, just another regular Tuesday, it was nothing special or even important, but little did he know how fast and dramatically things would change.

Flash was doing his regular duties as he always did daily, sweep and mop the floors, check the barracks to make sure that they were clean, dust the items and furniture and other stuff that lay around the castle, it really was quite taxing work, it never changed and became quite boring and dull over time.

But when the end of the day finally came and he could relax he went to the party that was being held here at the castle, today was different, and the last few weeks the guards had been making sure that everything was ready to go, and that was a detail few ponies knew, the guards did all the sweeping and dusting and mopping and the rearranging of furniture, painting, and statues.

But it didn’t matter how much work they would have to do, it was all worth it in the end when he got to see the result of all their hard work with every pony dancing around with joy and having a good time. The occasion for this party was the summer sun celebration, but ever since Princess Luna had gone missing almost a year ago, things had been quite… different.

They were different around the castle, it had been quiet around the castle, especially around the princess, and the castle now had a different mood and feel and vibe to it, it didn’t feel like home, and they were especially different around Princess Celestia, she was closed off and quiet, and never spoke to any pony else unless she needed to like for royal and important duties or dire situations and emergencies, but other than that she did not speak a single word, it was like she almost was a different and another new pony now, but then again, losing someone you loved and cared for, like your sister who is also your closest friend, that can change you, or so Flash thought, but then again, he wouldn’t know anything about losing someone very near, close, and special to you, his parents had died when he was young and he was taken as an honored guest of the castle and raised as a guard, it was the only life he knew, the only life he would ever know since he could never move up in society or class, no matter how much he wanted to in his dreams, thoughts, or ideas, but it didn’t matter what his dream was, he had work to do.

Author's Note:

I don't mind using Flash.

But it doesn't mean I like or hate him.

Previous (Last and Final) Paragraph of Story:

(Luna went missing sometime after Chris the changeling had saved all of Ponyville from the deadly infection that could only be cured by changeling blood, and Chris had still risked his life after the way the ponies treated him by being mean and banishing him from the town, but now things were different, he was being called a hero, and he was invited to just about every big important social event and party that there was).

Thanks to EverfreePony for the helpful editing comments for this chapter. You deserve and have earned the Seal of Official Approval.

Stay tuned for more.

Comments

[EverfreePony]

Seen this in one of the feedback groups...

My feelings about the chapter:
I believe you have some really interesting plot waiting ahead, a plot you were really eager to write and neglected the opening because of that. Great that we know what Flash did, but... written like "he did this, then this, then this" it's really boring and simply screams "I want to have the introduction behind me already to get to the cool stuff!". If you actually had just a few sentences about each of the actions, it would be more entertaining. Also, it'd allow you to continue in the "regular ordinary" gag you started before. The same problem of rushed exposition continues thorough the whole chapter.

Next trouble is the one huge block of text, combined with the fact that it's basically one loooooong sentence. Split it in smaller paragraphs, for example one about Princess Celestia contemplating her sister's disappearance, next for Flash and his childhood... And split the sentece into shorter ones. You surely have there some interesting thoughts, but you mix all of them together, making it hard to focus and unnecessary repeat them over and over again.

Last, the "(Luna went missing...)" shouldn't be here under any cirmustances. Any info like that can go to the author's note and often it wouldn't be necessary at all. I reckon you'll explain why, when and how she went missing in later chapters. If the events of your changeling story don't directly affect this one, then all the info is even more needless.