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  • T Citizen Weevil

    A changeling immigrant, Weevil, and his family, try their best to live their lives in the savage urban jungle of Manehattan.
    29,136 words · 8,115 views  ·  155  ·  1
  • T Maternal Instinct

    86,607 words · 8,675 views  ·  527  ·  20
  • E Pupa-chan

    A glimpse into the meager life of Chrysalis' only child.
    4,258 words · 2,446 views  ·  103  ·  6
  • T Ponyville: The Next Generations

    Years in the future, Ponyville is a changing town to say the least, with some interesting stories.
    44,652 words · 1,493 views  ·  15  ·  7
  • E Overreacting - an MLP Derpy/Ditzy Hooves Fic.

    Twilight is confused when she notices a few new things about Ditzy Doo "Derpy" Hooves.
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Blog Posts41

  • 8w, 11h
    Maternal Instinct Chapter Fourteen has FINALLY been uploaded.

    Everychangeling and everypony, I and overjoyed to announce that today, Chapter Fourteen of Maternal Instinct has finally, and I mean FINALLY been finished and uploaded after months of writing and then thorough editing. I can't apologize enough for long it's taken, but that's how my creative juices work: up and down, up and down. Believe me, this chapter has been a BEAST!

    Anyway, this is the chapter we've all been waiting for, and I think you all know what I mean by that. It has also, in turn, become the longest, with a record 11,063 words. With it's completion, I shall now focus my attention on finishing this story before I reach the second year mark. I've only got one more chapter and a final epilogue-like chapter after that. That's right, everyling, this story is finally wrapping up.

    I would like to take this time to extend my thanks to my editor Chaodiurn for his thorough editing and Scarheart for his pre-reading. I could not have made it through this chapter without you guys' help.

    Read and Enjoy!

    Chapter Fourteen

    1 comments · 91 views
  • 8w, 6d
    Good news: Maternal Instinct Chapter 14 sent for editing.

    Everypony and everyling, and I am very much pleased to inform you all that Chapter 14 of Maternal Instinct is finally, and I mean FINALLY, written and being sent off for editing.

    It's been a ridiculously long time, and for that I apologize, but my creative flow has been completely erratic. Some nights I was just staring at the Google Docs screen with the hope of just getting a paragraph or two typed. However, it should be pointed out that this is a LONG chapter, well over 9,000 words, so that does explain the longevity of its writing to a degree, though not completely.

    I should also let you know that once this chapter is posted, that will leave, as things are presently planned, only two more much shorter chapters, with the last serving as an epilogue of sorts. So yes, Maternal Instinct is drawing to a close. I'm glad I've stuck with this story and persevered with it. Once it finishes, I will then be focusing all my attention on Citizen Weevil.

    -Magic Man

    6 comments · 108 views
  • 13w, 4d
    Fanfic Recommendation #2: The Halfling

    I am proud to highly recommend a new story to you all, The Halfling, by my good friend, Scarheart76. Enjoy!

    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/201557/the-halfling

    0 comments · 80 views
  • 15w, 1d
    Maternal Instinct Chapter 13 revision uploaded

    I am happy to announce I have just posted a revised/updated version of Chapter 13 of Maternal Instinct. I didn't dislike the chapter, but there were some parts of it that I think could have been better off with an addition or rewrite or two. I think I'm much more satisfied with it now. Check it out if you've got the time. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/66500/13/maternal-instinct/chapter-thirteen

    And not to worry, I'm making good progress with Chapter 14.

    -Magic man

    0 comments · 95 views
  • 15w, 6d
    News: Maternal Instinct Chapters 13 & 14, Google Docs, Citizen Weevil.

    Hey guys, I am just posting this blog to drop you all some news of developments in my stories.

    First of all, I want to assure you all know that Maternal Instinct is certainly not dead. The story is gradually approaching its end and I intend to take it all the way. It's just that I've sadly been going through quite a bit of burnout with writing, especially while I've had to balance between Maternal Instinct and Citizen Weevil. However, with time and in part thanks to the help of my good friend, Scarheart76, and having some creative discussions with him, I've been regaining a lot of inspiration and creativity. It's taken time, after all, but I'm definitely feeling it.

    Chapter 14 is definitely in the works, I assure you, and I'm making headway into it. I also want to tell you all that I am going to be doing a revision of sorts for Chapter 13. Don't get me wrong, I do not consider it a 'bad chapter', but I wrote at a time when my inspiration was at quite the "burnout" level and it shows. I think there are certain parts of the chapter that could really benefit from a few rewrites and additions. So yeah, keep an eye out for that.

    Thanks to Scarheart76 and others, I've started getting into using Google Docs, which definitely makes contact between editors, pre-readers and myself much quicker and efficient. I admit, I should've started using it ages ago. I should also point out that Scarheart76 has essentially become a creative pre-reader of mine for 'Maternal Instinct', and if he wants, 'Citizen Weevil'. We've even discussed the possibility of working on a future project. By the way, I highly recommend you guys check out his story, 'The Halfling', and his other works.

    Also, regarding Citizen Weevil, I'm glad to announce I have gained a second editor to join me and Chaodiurn, a fine chap by the name First_Down, who has helped edit stories such as the works of Rated-Ponystar. He has already gone through and helped greatly improve chapter one of the story, for which I am extremely grateful.

    That's pretty much it. I hope this is welcomed news to all my followers and fans of my stories.

    Kindest of regards,

    Magic Man

    4 comments · 155 views
  • ...
 49
 3,751
Source

Important notice: This is not in the same universe as Maternal Instinct.

Years after the failed invasion of Canterlot, Queen Chrysalis has grown indolent and inept in running her kingdom. However, she grows concerned when she no longer senses the love and adoration of her subjects. Her advisors proving unhelpful, she goes seeking the council of what many would consider the most unexpected sources...

Picture courtesy of Yula568

First Published
1st Jul 2012
Last Modified
1st Jul 2012
#1 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

(A/N) Okay, first off, I want to make it clear I am still continuing Next Generations, it's even halfway done. This oneshot was done as a break from it and a way to analyse the character Chrysalis, my favourite villain from MLP. Actually, as this is years in the future, this story could well fit into the same storyline as Next Generations, but due to my fondness for Chrysalis and the depth character analyse, I think it serves better on its own, like an off-branch. I personally prefer picking apart the psychology of characters like Chrysalis, and I enjoyed it here, showing it through exploring her relationship with her subjects and her royal peers. I would also like to point out here that inspiration for this fic was drawn from 'the Madness of King Scar', a deleted portion of the beloved The Lion King, as well as another oneshot called 'Round two' which also dealt with a confrontation between Chrysalis and Celestia, so credit where credit is due.

I think I've portrayed a unique version of Chrysalis here, though you may have to take that with a pinch of my inflated ego. I wanted to peel past her self-confidence and gloating to show a more immature, deluded (of grandeur) and even incompetent side to her, and with any luck, I've pulled it off well.

Another thing I don't think has been looked upon in enough detail also in the society of the Changelings. Most people look at as the Changelings being almost mindless drones under the mental control of the queen, kind of like the hive system which is somewhat appropriate considering their insect design. But I've decided to flesh it out more, making similar to the kind of civilized society to Equestria but highlights on differences in culture. I look at ponies and Equestria as Western Europe and the Americas and the Changelings and their kingdom as Tsarist Russia and a lot of Eastern Europe, not just in terms of society and structure, but wealth and to an extent, geography and climate. So yeah, there is a lot of world building here.

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this short story and know that the next chapter of Next Generations is on the way. Just needed a bit of a break to refresh.

#2 · 121w, 4d ago · · ·

Is the comment above mine a spambot or what? :rainbowhuh:

Also, great one-shot.

#3 · 121w, 4d ago · · ·

>>840203I dunno. I'm just gonna ignore it.

Thanks for reading my oneshot. What did you like about it specifically?

#4 · 121w, 4d ago · · ·

>>840313

First thing, is always nice to read an actually long one-shot, length is not everything, but it makes for a good read.

I also liked the fact that you mentioned different matters regarding politics, diplomacy and governorship. As a fan of books like "Romance of the three kingdoms" I really enjoy reading about them.

The way the characters interact is entertaining, at least in my opinion.

Finally, I dont really see any problems on the way is written or the grammar, maibe in the part were it says "Chrysalis had the power and the authority, both by birth rite" you wanted to say "right" instead of "rite" but maibe I am wrong, im not sure.

Sorry if I`m not of much help, english is not my first language and criticism is not my thing. :applejackunsure:

#5 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

Very interesting.

Celestia and Luna vs. Chrysalis was probable the best part. I just loved Celestia's reaction to Chrysalis slapping her in particular.

#6 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>844339Thank you for taking the time to read it. Yeah, I quite enjoyed that part myself. I was thinking maybe having Celestia going to slap her back, but it changed to Luna, giving her more of a role.

And as I mentioned before to you, one of the things I really wanted to explore with this story was Changeling society culture. I really don't like the idea of a mindless nomad swarm following the queen, because to me, that's a wasted opportunity. So I kind of modeled their culture off of old Eastern Europe and Imperial Russia, e.g. the wintry climate and landscape, the taste for vodka, the autocratic royal family Roachanov (Romanovs), the peasants, RASPUTIN, etc. What did you think of that aspect in particular?

#7 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

major ass flaw... why would changelings live as a feudal kingdom. with peasants that tended the land and nobility to rule them if.... THEY DIDN'T FEED ON ACTUAL FOOD BUT FROM THE LOVE OF PONIES!?

#8 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>846688They feed on love itself and positive emotion, not just from ponies. They probably also survive on love from each other. My theory is that love is their primary food source, but they can and do need to eat other foods like veg and meat for their nutritional value. After all, Chrysalis was shown eating and digesting and apple food.

But the matter of food doesn't ultimately determine whether or not it could be a feudal kingdom. The fact is there is land and it is owned by the few and the many work on it, not just for food, but also other resources like coal, wood, clay, etc.

This is just my take on it.

#9 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>846930

well i guess you justified it well enough.

my version has them living as escaped demons of tartarus, living their as lesser demons (in similar rank to succubi and incubii in hell within christian mythology). I mean come on. being unable to enter a city because of a magical barrier where normal creatures could?

thats exorcism going on thar.

#10 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>847013That does seem like a good idea in itself, but for me, I prefer the idea of them having a more grounded and rich society rather than just a swarm of demons, though they probably are demons.

#11 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>847024

well they're more developed as a hedonist society, selling themselves out as concubines, spies and servants/slaves... as I see it. The changeling kingdom is as wide as any kingdoms they occupy. controlling from the shadows they live as parasites. shaping history, government and culture to fit their purposes.

as I see it, chrysalis was one off queen that hated to serve and wanted to rule. To not beg and scrape for scraps of affection from a sinful master... but to be adored and worshipped, drowning in the love of the broken minds of the ponies of equestria.

#12 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>847074Well, that sounds like a good possible fanfiction.

But I do wish to you, what are your precise thoughts on my take on it, not just the society, but this fic as a whole, including Chrysalis' state?

#13 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>847088

given your justification. your more realistic take of the mlp universe, isn't something that I would typically expect (even from Hasbro). It puts in extra consideration that would otherwise be ignored.

As such you have created a very well written work which does take a step away from the canon of "kids show" feel, but it comes into its own from the decent craft. If MLP didn't exist, it would (with a bit of editing) stand alone strongly.

#14 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>847109Thank you very much.

#15 · 121w, 2d ago · · ·

A great read, as always. I wish there was a way you could tie this in more with TNG, even if it was just someone mentioning the events.

#16 · 121w, 2d ago · · ·

>>844480

I think it fits Luna better anyway.

As for what I thought of Changeling society, it's pretty interesting. I enjoyed the advisor, and I definitly saw some Russian influence in there. It's certainly different than most takes on them I've seen. Though really, most fics with the changelings that I've read portray them as having a society, so if what you say is true about most portraying them as mindless drones, I'm not reading enough of them.

I was worried you were going to use some ideas I'm going to use in Metamorphisis, but you went in an entirely different direction. And for that, I'm thankful.

#17 · 121w, 2d ago · · ·

>>850284Well, yeah, they do portray them having a society, but I use 'mindless drone' to describe that they're not fleshed out enough, saying how they just live in hives and serve as soldiers to the queen, not exploring their jobs, social structure more, family life, art and culture. You know what I mean?

Ah, I see, cause otherwise people might be thinking you're filching off me. Well, that's good. However, if not the exact details here, do you think the idea of some russian culture and feudalism in Metamorphisis could work. I'm trying to get the Tsarist Russian influence in Changeling society fanon in a sense, so if you do like it, you can use the basic idea of a Tsarist Russian-esque and peasant society where few are rich and many are poor, if you would like to.

#18 · 121w, 2d ago · · ·

Loved everything about this story.

From the way you described the Changeling Kingdom, to Celestia being an angry mother, Luna kicking ass like a boss. All the way to Chrysalis state of mind at the end of the story.

Tis was awesome, I demand MOAR!!

#19 · 121w, 2d ago · · ·

>>852503Thank you very much for reading it.

Well, this was mostly meant to be a oneshot, I just don't know where else I could go with it.

#20 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

>>833423

The Madness of King Scar... I thought something felt vaguely familiar.

I enjoyed this one. So close to good ideas, but she can't do what she should; you made her complex and believable, I liked it.

I also liked your spin on their society. I wouldn't have come up with anything like that.

And Celestia always cool under fire.

Well played.

#21 · 92w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

With all the references to Tsarist Russia that are being used and the fact that Chrysalis is depicted here as an inept, narcissistic tyrant whose people are suffering badly under her iron hoof, I cannot help but think that she and her country will be facing a Changeling equivalent of the Bolshevik Revolution soon enough.

#22 · 88w, 5d ago · 3 · 3 ·

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Adored

Grammar score: 9/10

Pros: First, the personality you give to Chrysalis is terrific.  Around half way or so through the story, I realized I really wanted her take to heart the words of the princesses.  Next, Celestia and Luna are awesome here.  The scenes where Celestia starts telling Chrysalis all the things she is just then realizing about her, and then the fight between Chrysalis and Luna, were emotionally charged and engaging.  And finally, the ending, though not what I wanted for Chrysalis, was nevertheless excellent.

Cons: I didn't find too much in the way of cons in the story.  I suppose when Chrysalis shows up to talk to the princesses, I would have liked to see a little more justification for her deciding to do that.  But then those scenes turned out so awesome, and it made sense in a way, since she doesn't really have any equals in her own country.

Notes: An excellent story.  I thought Chrysalis was an okay villain from the show, but fanfiction stories (and the recent MLP comic) have me appreciating her more and more.  This story is so tragic, yet good.  Just out of curiosity, is your story Maternal Instinct (which I've not yet read) set in the same universe as this story?

Enjoy your review!  Please help me out by looking at my story, A Spell for Lyra.:twilightsmile:

#23 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2129848 Thank you very much for taking the time to write this review and I appreciate your comments. In answer to your question, no not really. They're different universes with different versions of changeling culture. I personally think you'll enjoy Maternal Instinct even more though.

And for your fic, don't worry, I will get around to reading it when I get the chance. I got a busy week ahead, but I'll make the time.

#24 · 81w, 2d ago · · ·

and i thought she was gonna change when the truth was thrown to her face

#25 · 79w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

If I'm being 100% honest, the instance of profanity was the moment which very nearly cost this story my Favorite, though it was at least only used once.  I admit this sort of thing falls largely under the "personal pet peeve" category, but even disregarding the extent of my subjective distaste, the story is nevertheless weaker for resorting to it.  The follow-up brutal death threat by Luna didn't exactly help either.  And since this intro paragraph seems to be the designated space for me to voice my criticisms before moving on to what I like so much about it, I'm gonna have to reluctantly call horse apples on the concept that there exists a Changeling Kingdom with political allies and the like when Chrysalis's dialogue in "A Canterlot Wedding" quite plainly states that invasion and occupation is a regular occurrence on the species's behalf.  This doesn't necessarily make them a completely nomadic society (though things like their lack of "civilized" trappings - compare the bare changeling army to the armed and armored Equestrian Royal Guards - point strongly toward this interpretation), but the idea that the other countries recognize the Changeling Kingdom as a legitimate nation in light of their long-standing, insatiable lust for conquest and, furthermore, don't unanimously take action against it just doesn't work for me, and invalidates a great deal of the world-building present in this story.

So yes, unfortunately, all of this means that the analogy between changeling society and Tsarist Russia doesn't really fit in with their depiction in the show, and I'm one of those people who strongly prefers fan fiction to remain as close to the source material as possible.  But - and it's a big "but" - that's not to say its inclusion is devoid of merit (far from it).  Disregarding the matter of canon, it adds a lot to the finished story, and the work you put into it shows.  Depicting Chrysalis as the equivalent of an unqualified Russian tsar in the latter days of the Tsarist era does much to inform both her species's situation and her own without having to shift too much of the story's focus away from the narrative in order to drive the point home itself - which is especially important here, because of how much time has passed and how much things have changed since "A Canterlot Wedding."  It even foreshadows what the future has in store for the Changeling Kingdom (i.e. the equivalent of a Bolshevik Revolution).  In other words, it's the type of thing the show would do ("Hearth's Warming Eve," anyone?), and so even though it contradicts the show's take on the subject, I nevertheless applaud you for doing it so well.  Even more importantly, the allegory directly develops Chrysalis's very character, which is the area where the story really shines.

I think the moment that best encapsulates how well this story manages to nail Chrysalis's character (even more impressive considering that the view of her fallen-from-grace character here is a rather distant progression from the confident and triumphant one in "A Canterlot Wedding") is when she asks the Princesses why her subjects don't love her, only to completely ignore the answers she gets in favor of taking the opportunity to stroke her vanity.  You wanna know why Chrysalis's character design is so brilliant?  (I assume you already know fully well, based on how well the story demonstrates your understanding of her, but it's a point most others seem to tragically miss.)  It's those hole-punched legs.  Not because they're unique and scary, though those are definite pluses, but because almost from the moment I saw them I understood that "A Canterlot Wedding" is predominantly a story about love, and Chrysalis embodies the antithesis of love.  (This is also what turns "This Day Aria" from a great song included at the expense of the plot - why would an invading infiltrator risk detection by singing aloud a song about her plan? - into an amazing song included to the benefit of the story.)  Chrysalis is lean, mutilated, and almost corpse-like; as this story so excellently puts it, she's empty.  She and her people are starving and wilted because she utterly fails to comprehend love.  It came back to bite her in "A Canterlot Wedding," and this story shows how it continues to do so and what the long-term consequences are to herself and her people.

And speaking of which, there's the whole business with Chrysalis's father, which is where the story truly deepens its content.  Luna's point about the curse that is immortality (which fits her character splendidly) is already great on its own, but where the story's handling of this concept really comes into its own is Chrysalis's eventual response to it - that is to say, her short-minded rejection of it.  The moment where she decides to raise her children just as she was raised in conjunction with her joyous realization that therein lies the path to immortality is the perfect place for her character and the story to end up.  In this act, one witnesses the execution of the cycle of abuse that Luna warned Chrysalis of: We are handed the sins of our parents, take comfort in the knowledge that they rather than us are the ones at fault, and in turn place the burden of our own sins onto our children so that we can continue to live with ourselves.  Where Luna misunderstands the situation is that, as Chrysalis comes to roundaboutly realize, continuing to carry out this cycle is how Chrysalis can live forever.  She pays for it by making her children miserable, just as she was made miserable by her father; everyone caught in the chain is effectively one organism, suffering through pain it previously managed to delay while simultaneously delaying the pain born from the present, to be suffered through later.  Moreover, the allusion to the Berlin Wall in Chrysalis's future plans - a sin perpetrated not by Tsarist Russia, but the Soviet Russia that overthrew it - renders clear that the equivalent to the Bolshevik Revolution that will inevitably overthrow Chrysalis or her descendants is not a beacon of hope, but another tragic manifestation of this cycle.

Downer endings very rarely work in these stories; this is My Little Pony we're talking about, after all.  The very setting dictates innocence and optimism that should rarely be broken.  But it's a fantastic fit here.  Chrysalis is a monster and the story accepts that without hesitation, but at the same time it also provides a paradoxically humanizing view of her that not only matches her depiction in the show, but then moves forward with that depiction in a compelling and fascinating manner.  The story has places on the surface where it noticeably stumbles, but the surface of a story only exists to support the inner substance anyway, and the underlying content of this story is incredibly strong.  And that's why this earns a Favorite.

#26 · 79w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>2462185 Thank you for this lengthy, detailed and honest review.

I can definitely understand your distaste of the one use of profanity in the story. True, I didn’t think much of it when I wrote this nearly a year ago, but I definitely see your point. I’m tempted to edit it, but it’s probably best to leave it be to serve as reminder that my work is not flawless and how I can improve.

Now, concerning the issue of their being a Changeling Kingdom with the kind of political ties and allies like a real life nation, yeah, in retrospect, there are parts regarding it that warrant valid criticism. Sure, there exist legitimate governments which commit atrocities, but I suppose there is a limit with suspension of disbelief with what other countries would put up with. I mean, me personally, I’m the kind of person who, until it’s absolutely canon proven, will believe in the possibility of an official Changeling homeland and kingdom. I guess I took the vagueness of the Changelings and their origins when I wrote this and filled the void by giving them a fleshed out kingdom (instead of the hive idea which I’ve grown increasingly tired of), though I do admit there are some implications they may indeed be nomads akin to say the Huns, but the vagueness and unanswered questions still do leave open the possibility which I still cling to and which I believe many Changeling fics spawn. However, I actually DO applaud your dedication to fanfictions keeping close to the source material, and we actually do need more fanfictions like that mainly because I’ve seen some of the end results of some fanfictions straying too far from the source material and it isn’t pretty.

I did have the follies of Tsarist Russia and the rulers themselves in mind to an extent when giving Chrysalis and Changelings this kind of society and culture, but I will admit it was partly out of fascination with Tsarist Russia itself and seeing how applying that culture to Changelings would turn out. As with the upcoming revolution, I’m not sure if I really had it in mind, but yeah, it’s obvious there is only one way it’s gonna go. I guess it all worked out in more ways than one, pros and cons included. Though I should point out that if you decide to read Maternal Instinct, it and Adored are NOT connected, they’re completely separate universes. What happens there is that it’s more hybrid like Equestria, where the culture is predominantly Japanese and East Asian in terms of clothing, architecture, cuisine, due to my fascination with East Asian culture too and wanting to try other ideas, but the events and characters are definitely partly inspired by the follies of the European monarchies of old, and it seems you have a keen historical eye so I’m sure you’ll recognize them.

With your praise of the other aspects of my story, such as the cycle of abuse and how the characters handle and hate or aspire to immortality, wow, thank you very much. A lot of people do comment on how I write Chrysalis and that she can be an empty monster but also partly humanized at the same time. I just really see a lot of potential in her; she has the potential to be very multi-layered and three dimension character, an almost tragic villain right out of Shakespeare, though I’m not sure if the show would ever really go down that route, but I guess that’s what we have fanfics for, eh?

So again, thanking you for taking the time to read my fanfiction and give a detailed, pros and cons review. I most appreciate it and hope you’ll take an interest in future, most likely mostly Changeling based work.

#27 · 79w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>2463000

I actually went back and read Pupa-chan just after finishing that review, and with it and this story as a basis am currently reading through Maternal Instinct (as of this writing, I'm almost done with Chapter 2 and - spoiler alert - am enjoying it a lot).  As long as I'm on the subject, I may as well relate my thoughts on the former, especially since after the length of my review for this story, a dedicated review of Pupa-chan would inevitably prove a disappointment.

My thoughts on the issues involved in linking the changelings to Russia in this story, naturally, apply to Pupa-chan's doing the same thing with feudal Japan.  I'm not sure whether it will comfort or disappoint you (most likely the latter, unfortunately, based on your Author's Note for Pupa-chan) to learn that, for all the criticisms I gave of the Russian parallels in Adored, I find I prefer it to Pupa-chan's Japanese ones.  Not because you did a worse job depicting them; your passion for other cultures shines just as clearly through as ever. But I didn't find that the Japanese setting adds to the story's subtext in the same way that the Russian one did for Adored.  I can only assume that I've somehow blown my cover with that statement - I, for one, certainly wouldn't describe my historical eye as "keen" - so it's entirely possible that Pupa-chan is in fact packed to the brim with thematic historical allusions that are all simply flying over my head.  Even so, Pupa-chan is a much different (not to mention shorter) story than this one.  The scope is quite a bit more personal, and as such the wider historical commentary isn't nearly as big a deal, so rest assured that the Japanese analogy is still perfectly functional.

(I'll also briefly jump ahead to Maternal Instinct and say that you went exactly the right direction as far as the historical analogues are concerned.  Obviously, that story is larger still than Adored, and so broadening the reach of the historical commentary was a great fit, especially because Equestria in the actual show doesn't shy away from grabbing at whatever historical associations it wants - everything from Hellenistic Greece to Medieval Europe to the contemporary United States - if it will enrich the story.  Combined with your claim that Western Europe also influences Maternal Instinct, I feel assured that it will similarly draw upon useful elements from all of the present histories, which expands the potential in the material significantly.  This less restricted portrayal of changeling society also goes a long way toward making the story fall more in line with the show, which is always a plus.  And from a metafictional standpoint, it ties together Adored and Pupa-chan so that both works help inform Maternal Instinct while simultaneously rendering it clear that the three stories all take place in separate continuities.  So in short, the choice of historical parallels in Maternal Instinct is the best of all three.)

Pupa-chan, I'll admit, had me ever-so-slightly worried during the scene between Pupa and Chrysalis.  After having just written a review going into how Chrysalis has no understanding of what love is, her seemingly sincere and genuinely cute affection toward Pupa was enough to cause me concern.  But of course, you pulled out of it excellently, and the moment where she betrays her daughter's trust works for all the right reasons: It's creepy, upsetting, sad, and yet perversely satisfying in terms of its portrayal of Chrysalis's character.  The idea that changelings consume love by biting and physically sucking it out of their victims is a wonderful touch of grimdark - which suits the changelings already - that does a great job of not crossing the line into being incongruous with the My Little Pony setting, and the fact that Chrysalis performs this on her own daughter (especially in light of the revelation in Maternal Instinct, assuming it holds true for Pupa-chan's continuity, that this is a grievous crime in changeling society) renders the act all the more twisted and disturbing.  And the ending is once again the perfect send-off for the story's idea, displaying how far Pupa has already unwittingly fallen into her mother's trap while providing another subtle reminder of Chrysalis's concern for herself above all others.

(Also, just so I'm clear, I'm not saying that the idea of Chrysalis gradually learning the value of love is invalid - which is what I predict Maternal Instinct will be an exploration of, though I'll ask that you neither confirm nor deny it so that I can find out for myself.  Rather, this possibility is quite a long way from her canon characterization, and thus would probably prove impossible to be satisfactorily arrived at in a story as short as Pupa-chan, so I'm merely expressing my approval that you didn't go that route.  Indeed, what makes Pupa-chan so effective is your commitment to moving in the opposite direction.)

#28 · 79w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>2463606

Ah, I see. Well, for Pupa-Chan not really. Whilst the Russian culture was meant to have some allegory, I guess I just chose Japanese culture for the aesthetics and something to give the Changeling Kingdom a unique flavor compared to Equestria. But yeah, there's so real thematic historical allusions here, I just really appreciate good ol' Japan and I'm glad it functions well here.

And yeah, I think it does work better to have a more pic-n-mix when it comes to Maternal Instinct. It does allow me to pull a lot more things off and it shows, especially from the comments in Maternal Instinct, which I'm glad you are loving so far.

I am glad you liked Pupa-Chan and the direction it went in at the end, and yeah, I'm proud of the little vampirism touch. I guess readers are meant to go away and make up their own minds from what happens in this story as to what extend is Chrysalis' affection genuine, if even the slightest? Here, whilst Chrysalis still views herself as number one and her top priority, her true feelings towards Pupa are meant to be a matter of debate, if just to give readers something to scratch their brains over. It's meant to be vague and contradicting like having her suck love from her but still cradle her afterwards. The readers are trying to get into her mind, but she's making it hard for them to access.

It is also important to note that whilst these three stories are definitely in their universes each, it's amazing how well they tie together, even though they were never really meant to, no? I mean, Adored was just meant to be my Chrysalis oneshot, whilst Pupa-Chan came into existence with the idea of giving this character a daughter, and Maternal Instinct I suppose unintentionally springboarded from it later on, actually due to a single scene which I mulled over and eventually bloomed into the full story.

Anyway, I am glad you are enjoying Maternal Instinct so far and will continue to enjoy it the deeper you get.

#29 · 78w, 3h ago · · ·

Alright, adding to Twilight's Library.

#30 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

Great story, my friend.:moustache:

#31 · 61w, 2d ago · · ·

It was pretty good.  Quite a bit of contrivance, and it seemed overblown at times, but it was pretty good.

#32 · 37w, 9h ago · · ·

>>833423

"I'm immortal, do you understand that? I have done horrible things in my lifetime, your highness, and even Celestia has done things she has regretted. And I will have to live with all them forever. But you...you get to die. That's the worst part. You have tormented my kingdom and used and abused your own subjects to the point you're driving them from your lands. And soon you'll have a child, bully all the love and compassion out of her like your father did to you, and then you'll die, knowing everything will continue when you're gone. You'll be buried and be nothing more than a portrait in the palace, but at least you won't have to pay for all you've done. Well, you know what, Chrysalis? I wish you could go on living forever, as the unloved, unfeeling, empty monster you are in the living nightmare you and your forefathers have made on this planet! I hope you live forever, you bitch."

This Argument Is Flawed and has Black and White Insanity, Also One-sided.

There Such as Moral Greys, You know

#33 · 37w, 9h ago · · ·

>>3941355 I'm not sure if I can really argue with that. Well, if it's any consolation, this story was written quite some time ago and I admit it's not my best work, particularly in how overblown it can be at times. I don't hate my story, but I'm first to acknowledge it's certainly flawed. I totally understand your problems with it.

#34 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·

This was depressing.

#35 · 34w, 2d ago · · 2 ·

Oh, what a beautiful, magnificent hate to russians! You will make a good dalek, Magic Man! Have a dislike for that. And produce more delightful, precious hate to enrapture daleks!

#36 · 34w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>4034366 Well, I assure you it was not meant to be a hate towards Russians. Chrysalis' style of ruling here is the based off an unqualified Tsar and the consequences the kind of system has for the nation and its people.

#37 · 34w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

>>4034536

Yeah, and wide snow-land, vodka, alcoholism and Iron Curtain is just coincidences.

#38 · 25w, 1d ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>4034569 Just because something in a story draws some parallels to certain regional/political aspects of a society doesn't mean anything. Sure, it might seem like sterotyping to someone like you, but it still doesn't mean that it's meant to be seen that way. You'd might as well complain about the Nords from "The Elder Scrolls" being offensive to Scandinavians, just because their society is modeled after the Vikings.

#39 · 25w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

>>4353600

Hi, Melkor-kun! You, as always, like to play with words, huh?

About Scandinavians and me: I was born in USSR. But I doubt that any modern Scandinavian can say "I was born it Viking Time". So to me it's offense, for modern Scandinavians - is not.

#40 · 25w, 22h ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>4356742 Oh, so you don't bat an eye at other European cultures being slandered in deliberately offensive ways (not saying that the Nords are offensive at all), but when someone decides to make a fictional empire that is SLIGHTLY similar to your own place of origin that's not even INTENDED to be offensive, you have to go apeshit about it?

Besides, the Changeling Empire in this story's modeled after Tsarist Russia, not Communist Russia. So unless your parents were born in that time period (which would make them well over a hundred years old at this point), why the hell would you be so damn offended by this story, anyway?

#41 · 25w, 21h ago · · 2 ·

>>4357490

He-he, Melkor-kun, your lies are so adorable! Too bad for you I can remember EXACTLY what I said, and even if I can't - you can't edit my posts, and I can remind myself and yourself what exactly I said. And I said nothing like things you implies. You can't fool me, like you fooled poor Fingolfin!

I wouldn't mind if someone do something offensive with russian culture from very old time, like viking time. But here I see not old time, but soviet russia time. Stalin was called "Generalniy Secretar", but he was actually almighty tzar.

#42 · 25w, 13h ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>4357558  Uh, HELLLLLOOOOOO!!!! "Roachanov"? You know, like "Romanov", The name of the last royal family to rule over Russia before it fell to Communism? The revolution? The poor economy and decline in morale caused by a war with a foreign nation? The presence of ROYALTY?

Tell me, how do you NOT see the parallels to the Russian Empire? Because if you can't, then you need to re-learn your own country's history. If there are any moments that invoke the Soviet Union, it's the part regarding the unrest amongst the Changelings! Anything else is either a coincidence or a tongue-in-cheek reference to Russian history/culture.

EDIT: Giving all my comments a thumbs down won't make your argument any better, Solid. Be mature and accept the fact that you're wrong.

#43 · 24w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

>>4358906

Yeah, and what about Iron Curtain thing? It's from Soviet Union, not from Empire! And the whole "cold, snow and vodka" thing is eternal cliche, existed both in U.S.S.R. and Empire. Tell me, how you NOT see the parallels to the Soviet Union?

EDIT: you made my arguments thumbs down, why mustn't I do the same to you? You did it first.

#44 · 24w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

>>4372042

1: Where is there a mention of an Iron Curtain? Just WHERE?

2: Snow-land, coldness, alcoholism, and vodka aren't exclusive to Russia, you narrow-minded moron, let alone SOVIET Russia. You could just as easily apply those things TOGETHER to other places, like Canada, Northern Japan, and the Scandinavian countries.

3: You got those thumbs down because of how ridiculous your argument is. You're giving me dislikes just because of how butt-hurt you are.

4: What Russian adds "-kun" to a person's name? At least be consistent with your culture, you goddamn weeaboo.

#45 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·

>>4373262

Oh, don't be so grumpy and caddish, it's the pony site! Love and tolerance, love and tolerance! :pinkiecrazy:

1: Poor little morgothy, light of Silmarils blinded your pretty sensible eyes? Poor, poor thing! Don't cry, I'll read you aloud:

> And she would start by shutting down the borders, complete with armed guards. Maybe even a wall? Yes, a wall, scaling hundreds of feet into the air, complete with barbed wire and guards who were armed to the teeth. It would be a testament to both her and her kingdom's might!

There-there, better?

2: Hey, mister, I'll tell your mom and she'll make you wash your mouth with soap for such words! Who's the delinquent which taught you that? You'll better stop socialize with him!

3: Look to 2. Now try to say the same thing without bad words, and maybe I'll answer your questions.

4: Me. I can say whatever I want and still be Russian. Or you want me to start speaking по-русски to be fully consistent? :rainbowlaugh: And also see 2, I already said about bad words. Or may I answer to you with words like "goddamn tolkienist freak"? :derpytongue2:

#46 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·

>>4373339

Funny how you say "love and tolerance" when you're the one that brought politics into this mess and made this stupid argument possible.

1: That's the Berlin Wall, you moron. The Iron Curtain was a metaphor made by Winston Churchill to describe the division of the Capitalist nations of the West and the Communist nations in the East. Besides, barb-wired fences and large walls being used to keep people out have existed long before the Berlin Wall was even built.

2: "Moron" isn't a swear word, numbnuts. Neither is "numbnuts".

3: Already did. Now answer my questions.

4: I only call myself by this username because it's the username I use the most. I'm not Morgoth, and don't intend to be at all. In fact, it irritates me that people are so quick to associate my username with its namesake. Also, do you realize that "-kun" is an AFFECTIONATE honorific?

#47 · 8w, 4d ago · · ·

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

#48 · 8w, 4d ago · · ·

>>4373427

'm not Morgoth, and don't intend to be at all. In fact, it irritates me that people are so quick to associate my username with its namesake.
My knowledge on LotR is a bit rusty... How is "Bauglir" related to "Morgoth"?

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