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Lake 31032

Joined June 2012
11 followers

    Lake's Stories (3)

    • Spark: Book One
      Golden Passion tries to remember who she is in a kingdom he knows nothing of.

      21,743 words · 685 views · 27 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
      Mirror, mirror on the wall... Can you show me who I really am?
      3,861 words · 41 views · 5 likes · 1 dislikes
    • The Mare Behind Our Nightmares
      The mane 6 suddenly start experiencing nightmares every day, which go from bad to worse.
      3,283 words · 210 views · 2 likes · 0 dislikes
    x

    Spark

    Chapter 2

    I slowly opened my eyes, everything was dark; pointing that it was already evening. There was only one source of light, the half opened door of the bedroom, which allowed the entrance of the lights of the hallway. I was lying down on the same bed.

    “Are… sure… safe… keep… here?” I heard a faint voice coming from outside of the room. I identified it as Luna’s sister’s voice …Princess Celestia was it? I was barely able to understand some words.

    “She… remember… anything!” that was definitely Luna’s. They sounded like they were arguing. I could tell it was about me. “if… she… evil…remember…mission… amnesia!”

    “Be… faking it…” Celestia’s voice changed its previous serenity to a stern tone.

    …Evil? I thought, Luna’s words echoing through my mind. Then I recalled the memory I had when Luna and I were in the balcony.

    FROM NOW ON

    …YOU SHALL CALL ME GOLDEN PASSION!

    AND SOMEDAY

    I WILL OVERTHROW MY FATHER…

    THE KING OF NICARDIA!

    …So … I do remember my name… or at least what they used to call me… I thought, analyzing the fragment of memory. My father is a king?! …so, I am a princess… that would explain the wings and the horn… but why would I want to overthrow my own father?!... Perhaps I AM evil… or my father is corrupt... and what is this Nicardia?

    My head was pounding with questions making me even more frustrated, and if it couldn’t get any worse, the painful feeling of betrayal was added to the pile of emotions.

    …These ponies were nice enough to shelter me inside of their CASTLE and I result in being some USELESS TRAITOR of a kingdom I can’t even remember… then, I thought about it again … but…what if I am wrong?...what if I had proper reasons?... what if…? What if…?

    …Ah… what if…?

    I was getting mentally exhausted. I decided that it was best to let it be until getting another memory, by the moment, I could only hope that none of those thoughts were true. Only an instant passed when I drifted back to sleep.


    The sweet scent of honey and eggs gave me a warm welcoming to a new day. And so did a sweet voice…

    …sweet?...

    “Good morning, Passion” said Luna, a small smile in her lips.

    “…Morning…” I said lazily, stretching out my forelegs and letting out a loud yawn “sorry about that…”

    “Don’t worry; you slept for quite a while” she said while giggling “now, if you don’t mind, I would like you to meet me in the dining room when you finish your breakfast”

    “B-but…”

    “A guard outside of my room will guide you there” Luna finished, answering the question I had in mind.

    “Thanks…” a weak smile was drawn on my face. I was still affected by the previous night I had spent thinking. An awkward silence filled the air between us to then be broken by my voice “…can I ask you a question?”

    “Go ahead” she said, her eyes closed, preparing herself for any question.

    “Is this your room?” I asked while looking around it.

    “Yes it is, and I also painted the pictures” she said, answering a question that was yet to be asked again.

    “Really? You are a great artist! I just loved the one you have over the fireplace!” I said with sudden excitement.

    “Thank you, I painted that just a couple of weeks after I returned” she turned her vision to the painting.

    “…Returned? From where?” I asked with a tone of curiosity.

    “That’s… a long story I’ll tell you later; your breakfast is getting cold and I must hurry to the dining room” I sensed a faint nostalgia in her tone “Tia must be waiting for me”

    “Aha…” now who is this ‘Tia?

    “Celestia, I mean” She said while walking to the door “oh, and remember, I need you to come to the dining room, we have some matters to discuss” she opened the door with a small amount of her magic, to then, close it.

    What the… I thought with an awestruck look in my face. All of the previous events were a lot to take in, and this princess was confusing me even more without trying. Anyways I thought pancakes taste better when warm. With that, I began literally devouring the meal in front of me, occasionally stopping to let the flavor travel through my taste buds.


    “ah, you’ve arrived!” Luna said, interrupting a chat that she previously was having with her sister, which joyous expression changed to a more serious one.

    “Um… yeah” I said shyly “good morning, Princess Celestia”

    “…Good morning” she said hesitantly, by the looks from the guards and Luna herself I figured out that this behavior was rare for Celestia to have.

    There was an uncomfortable silence across the room for several minutes… that felt like hours. I stood still in front of the enormous table, two fearful guards standing behind me and a nervous Luna sitting next to her sister who was staring deadly directly into my eyes.

    “...Now I know why I felt like I knew you…” she said, though the statement increased my confusion even more.

    “…’Tia?” Luna said, showing the same amount of confusion I had.

    *BUMP!!*

    A familiar sound of giant doors crashing echoed through the room when a purple unicorn mare busted into it.

    “Princess! I came as fast as I…” she stopped when she noticed me “…ah…ha, ha, ha… I think I came in a bad moment… again…” she said in a lower tone, a light blush in her cheeks, then, she started walking backwards to the exit.

    “no, Twilight Sparkle…” Celestia said; referring to the purple mare who stopped walking “you couldn’t have come in better time”

    “YOU CALLED HER?!” Luna yelled “YOU. CALLED. HER?!” she hit the table with a hoof emphasizing each word “I TOLD you you could trust me! I TOLD you that you didn’t need to worry about it! AND HOW HARD COULD IT HAVE BEEN TO TRUST ME?!” her eyes were starting to get watery “YOUR OWN SISTER?!” she exploded in tears, hiding her head between her hooves. I felt an indescribable desire to go to her side, extend my wing around her and tell her that everything would be ok. After all, all of this was my fault.

    But… why do I want to do THAT in the first place?!

    “…Pardon me princess… but… could you explain me what’s going on here?” Twilight interrupted, soon regretting her words.


    I wandered alone in the edges of the Everfree forest; place where Luna first found me.

    …Luna…

    It was raining heavily, the black clouds covering the sky made the night even darker, some of the clouds, blocking the moon halfway.

    …Luna…

    I had a deep pain and sorrow in my heart. I was lonely and probably, in a few days, even banished from Equestria. The thought of Luna arguing with her beloved sister because of me hurt my heart even more.

    …Luna…

    I was still fighting to analyze everything that had happened to me in just a few days. Thinking of what could have happened before made me even more nervous, but then I ended up understanding that in a part of that time good things happened to me, between them, meeting Luna, hearing her voice, making her smile, but perhaps, she wasn’t thinking the same, not after everything.

    …Luna…

    Maybe Celestia found about me somewhere or somehow and discovered that I was indeed evil in some way, and, because of that, threw me out of the castle. Still, she stated that she felt like she knew me, and that had me intrigued, but then the image of Luna crying flashed back to my mind along with the desires of comforting her.

    ...I am so sorry…

    “I’m sorry about what happened back there” a familiar voice coming from behind me said. I turned around; it was the purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle. She carried an umbrella attached to a saddle.

    …what an irony… “w-well… it doesn’t matter any more…” I said trying to reassure the mare before me “…but I think I need a few explanations as well”

    “I may be close to the princess, but I don’t have much to say about this…” she said disappointed of her knowledge about the subject “…last night I received a letter from her, it was in the middle of the night so my assistant was a little upset about it…” she chuckled “anyway, the letter alarmed me, she said that she received a letter from a king in a distant kingdom, that she feared for her sister’s safety and also Equestria’s because she was warned that there was a dangerous pony in her castle” she sighted “…and that would be you”

    “…And why are you apologizing instead of calling Princess Celestia to kill me, throw me to a dungeon, torture me or sending me to Freaki-land or…”

    “Because I have an idea of who you are” the statement seemed to echo through the air, sounding each time lower and lower. “Come to my library and I’ll explain there. I have some towels for you to dry yourself up a bit and my assistant can make us some hot chocolate.”

    “Are you sure? I mean… Prin…”

    “She may be my mentor, and I may love her as my second mother, but when I have evidence I follow it, and if I don’t have enough, I’ll look for more.” She said firmly “plus, you don’t look like a bad pony, not even your Cutie Mark says so”

    “…Thanks Twilight… I… feel so guilty, I am destroying your trust with your… wait, you said Princess Celestia is your mentor?”

    “Yes, oh and don’t worry, I’ve always been like this. You see, when I was a filly I always studied magic and one day at the Summer Sun celebration…”


    “…And then Princess Celestia said that there was more and I was all like “what?!” and she pointed at my flank and I saw my Cutie Mark!” she pointed her Cutie mark.

    “And what became of the baby dragon?”

    “Oh, he is my assistant in the library, his name is…” she looked in front of her “oh! We have arrived!”

    “…This… is your house?” I saw the enormous tree that was standing tall and strong in front of us. It had doors and windows, and seemed to have 2 floors; the first one had the lights on.

    “And library!” she added with a proud smile from ear to ear “come on in” she opened the door.

    “Twilight!” a purple baby dragon came out of nowhere “where have you been?” then he noticed me “…and who is she?”

    “Oh, this is…”

    “Golden Passion, nice to meet you” I interrupted while extending my hoof

    “Hiya! I’m Spike, nice to meet you too!” he took it with his hand and shook it lightly.

    “well, now that everyone has been introduced…” she started nuzzling Spike “could you please make us some hot chocolate?”

    "Sure, ma’am!” she ran to the kitchen in an instant

    “That’s him, my number one assistant and… almost my son or younger borther” she muttered to herself.

    “You two are very close…” I whispered “…It is… kind of sweet… I wish my parents would have loved me that way…”

    “Hm? You remember your parents?”

    “…I do?” then, I felt it again, like if my consciousness was fading away and the real world being replaced by some sort of déjà vu world…


    “I don’t understand why you can’t be like your eldest sister” a deep male voice coming from a tall Alicorn with golden fur and black blowing mane and beard said “elegant, sociable, has proper royal manners… and has our ideals!” he screamed while sitting in his throne.

    “…your ideals of slavery for our subjects?!” I screamed

    “Our kingdom is by far more advanced thanks to our ways of ruling! Thanks to it, we will someday conquer Equestria as well!”

    “How can you THINK like THAT?! They are FREE ponies, and even if they don’t have the best technology, they are HAPPY! THEY HAVE NEVER HAD ANY CIVIL WARS! NOT LIKE US!”

    “It’s a small price to pay for our glory!”

    “YOU CALL THIS GLORY!?” I changed into my fighting stance; sounds of metal clinging indicated me that I had armor on. My wings stretched and my horn started glowing; I was mentally reciting words of a very powerful spell.

    “GUARDS! TAKE HER INTO THE DUNGEON!” thousands of guards appeared out of nowhere, grabbed every inch of me and started pulling me outside of the throne room. “…I cannot understand… how you can be my daughter… how The Spark could choose you…”

    Chapter 2

    Unloved

    Closed

    Comments ( 1 )

    #1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Hello! got some time to critique now so here goes!

    "My head was pounding with questions making me even more frustrated, and if it couldn’t get any worse, the painful feeling of betrayal was added to the pile including guilty."

    - I found this sentence a little awkward towards the end, I think the message you were trying to convey would be better served as such: "The painful feeling of betrayal was added to the pile of emotions welling within me, chief among them guilt."

    "The sweet scent of honey and eggs gave me a warmth welcoming to a new day. And so did a sweet voice…"

    - Should be warm not warmth.

    "I was still affected by the previous night I had spent thinking.

    - Ah now I am not criticising on this passage, its rare to see someone use the words affect and effect properly, and your proper use of it here restores my hope. Good job.

    My last comment would be that in your dialogues, whenever a character's statement begins with an exclamation such as "ahh!", "um", or "hmm" you don't  capitalized the exclamation. Remember to capitalize the beginning of spoken sentences, even if "Um" technically isn't a word.

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