Little Love Lost
LAST YEAR…
“Sunset? Uh, could you come in here for a second?” asked Flash Sentry tentatively from her bedroom.
Sunset Shimmer entered the room, smiling. “Sure. What’s going on, hun?”
Flash gathered his wits and drew in a deep breath. “I just found your ID.”
“Oh, good,” Sunset said, relieved. “I wondered where that was. You know I try to keep my room clean for you but, well, sometimes things get misplaced.”
“I meant your other ID. Both of them, actually,” Flash replied.
Sunset looked shocked for a moment, then narrowed her eyes. “Ah.”
“When were you going to tell me? Never? Probably never,” Flash said, rage slowly building in his voice.
He turned to face his girlfriend. Much to his shock, she wore a flippant grin.
“Well. I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” she said, her voice dropping its sweet tone, indifference in its place.
“You’re sick!” Flash spat. “I can’t… just can’t believe you would do this! Have these last twelve months been nothing but a big joke to you? I told you I love you! When you said it back, were you just lying?”
“Of course,” said Sunset bluntly. “That’s not to say it wasn’t amusing from time to time. But good lord. You’re just like a little puppy, always needing attention. When you get right down to it, I can’t say I ever felt much for you at all. You were just a means to an end. And you’ve now outlived your usefulness.”
“Wait a minute,” Flash said. “Are you seriously dumping me? Just like that?”
“Clearly you were planning to do so to me. May as well make the move first,” Sunset said, her voice cold with logic. “And don’t bother trying to rat me out to the school; those two idiots already know. We have an… agreement.”
“Yeah. I found the pay stub too. You’re a perverted, twisted, lying harpy!”
“Flash,” Sunset said calmly. “It’s best for you that you leave, now. It doesn’t matter if you do come from a family of cops – which was very useful for me, I must admit – you know I can destroy you with a single word to the right person. We’re through, but if you keep your mouth shut, I’ll leave you alone and you can go back to your innocent little high school life. Sound fair… hun?” her lips stretched into a wicked sneer.
Flash grumbled as he grabbed his denim jacket and stomped out of the apartment.
“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” Rarity said as she subconsciously twisted her long purple hair between the fingers of her free hand.
“Don’t care. I’m going,” replied Flash Sentry, his normally dopey expression twisted into a look of angry determination.
“Please stop,” Rarity said, pulling on the sleeve of Flash’s jacket in a vain attempt to stop him, but being dragged along for the ride instead. “What on earth would going to see her accomplish for either of you?”
“She hasn’t been to school in three weeks – not that it really matters for her – and now I hear she’s not leaving that apartment and you’re keeping people away.” Flash spat. “She’s g—”
“I’m not!” Rarity interrupted, shocked. “Well, I am. But only because it’s the right thing to do. Sunset needs time and space to recover. Thrusting her back into the world suddenly might break her again.”
That caused Flash to stop. He scoffed. “Bull. I can’t believe it. She’s a lot stronger than that and you know it.”
“No. She’s not,” Rarity said, her voice devoid of its usual lightness. “Not yet anyway. You clearly don’t know her as well as you think you do.”
“I know she gets off on lying to everyone,” countered Flash. “It’s what she does. It’s what she’s always done. She’s a great actor: so full of it. How else could she get you to stand up for her? I think you’re the only one in the world she’s hurt more than me!”
Rarity looked down at her feet. “We… came to an understanding.”
“You really think that?” Flash asked, rolling his eyes.
“I do,” said Rarity. “But let me ask you something, Flash. Do you honestly believe people can never change? That the sins of the past can never be forgiven?”
Flash furrowed his brow for a moment as he pondered. “A tiger never changes its spots,” he said finally, causing Rarity to screw up her face as she attempted to mentally correct his response.
They reached the five-storey apartment building, a nondescript mass of evenly spaced windows above a row of small businesses occupying the ground floor to either side of the main entrance, its brick façade clearly showing the wear and tear from nearly a century of existence.
The main elevator was out of order. Unfortunate, as Sunset lived on the top floor. Rarity and Flash were forced to use the stairs. While Flash, a fairly athletic fellow despite not participating in any sports, took the challenge without reaction or complaint, Rarity was absolutely not dressed for the climb and made sure everyone within earshot (only Flash) knew it. Flash reluctantly agreed to carry her high-heeled boots.
“I… think I see… how Sunset stays… in shape,” Rarity said through laboured breaths once they reached the top.
“She looks good for her age,” Flash said without emotion. “Now, she li—”
“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked, levelling a pointed glare at Flash as she swiped her shoes out of his hand.
Flash lolled his head, watching the question fly harmlessly over his shoulder. “Maybe I’ll tell you after this is over. Or not. …No, she should explain it. She still lives at the end of the hall, yeah? You want to let her know I’m coming or should I just go myself?”
“I’ll do it,” Rarity said with all the acquiescence of a hostage. Slowly she trudged down the hall, her footfalls making no sound on its aged red carpet, stopping at the last door on the left. Steeling her guts with a gulp, she knocked on the door.
For Rarity, it felt like a year passed, though really it was no more than a minute before the latches turned and the door creaked open, revealing Sunset Shimmer, still in her pyjamas despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Her eyes had bags, but were not bloodshot, which Rarity considered an improvement.
“Rarity. Hi,” Sunset greeted her with a thin smile, tone pleasant but tired. “I’m glad to see you, but I didn’t think you were coming over until tomorrow.”
“Yes, well…” Rarity said as she twiddled her thumbs, her eyes trying to look anywhere other than her friend. “I kind of… had to escort someone here.”
Sunset blinked, confused. “Who?” she asked. Rarity refused to answer, instead closing her eyes and bowing her head. Sunset thought about looking past Rarity, but need not have bothered as Flash walked into view.
“Flash,” she croaked as her eyes widened in shock at the sight of her former boyfriend. Reflexively, she took a few steps back into the apartment, towards the living area with its single dark blue thrift store sofa and stolen cable spool coffee table facing a cheap television with aerial. As she did, Rarity opened her eyes again, nearly on the verge of tears.
“Sunset, I am so sorry!” Rarity said as she clasped her hands, pleading. “I tried to tell him no but he insisted on coming anyway, so I thought I could at least soften the blo—”
Rarity’s explanation was cut short as Flash nudged past her and entered the apartment. Sunset took several more steps back but bumped into the cable spool. Briefly, her eyes flitted around her home in a vain attempt to locate an escape. Finding none, she closed them and took several deep breaths through her nose. When she opened her eyes again, Sunset presented only neutrality as she found herself face to face with her ex.
“It’s been a while,” Sunset said to Flash, her tone even, expression determinedly blank.
Flash Sentry glared at Sunset. “What are you playing at, Sunset?”
“Playing?” she asked, genuinely perplexed.
Rarity by this point had regained her composure and run in to insert herself between Sunset and Flash.
“Out of my way, Rarity,” Flash said, but made no attempt to physically move her, though Sunset clandestinely placed a hand on her side to gently push her two steps to her left.
“Flash, what’s going on?” Sunset asked, her tone displaying shades of irritation and fear, belying her intentionally-dull countenance.
Flash Sentry’s deep blue eyes bored into Sunset. “You tell me,” he said. “First you don’t show up to school for three weeks. That’s fine by me; I wouldn’t mind if you never came back. But then I hear you told Rarity some cock-and-bull sob story so she’d run around and be your little helper? You’re seriously pulling this crap again? I guess you’ll never change.”
“That’s… that’s not…” Sunset stammered before Rarity interrupted her.
“That’s not what’s going on!” Rarity said. “Sunset hasn’t been well, so I’ve been checking in on her! It’s called being a friend.”
“Stop protecting her!” Flash snipped at Rarity. “She’s just playing mind games on you, just like she did to me.”
Rarity glanced over at Sunset, who was clearly trying her best to keep her expression as neutral as possible but looked as if she could shatter at any moment.
“Really,” Rarity said, her voice tinged with an undercurrent of rage. “Is this a mind game?”
She grabbed Sunset’s left arm and held it up in Flash’s face, gravity causing the sleeve to slip, revealing the multiple scarred-over lacerations running down from Sunset’s wrist. Flash stared at it, unsure how to process this information.
Sunset’s carefully maintained poker face broke. When Rarity turned her head back, she saw Sunset staring at her like a puppy unable to understand why it was being punished, her eyes welling up with tears, breathing becoming erratic. Rarity immediately pulled Sunset into a hug and carefully sat themselves down on the couch, not breaking the embrace.
“I’m sorry, dear,” Rarity whispered to Sunset. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
Eventually, Flash Sentry’s brain completed its initial processing of what it had just seen. “Oh shit. This really isn’t an act, is it?” he said to himself, barely audible.
Flash Sentry sat on the couch in the spot closest to the door. Rarity sat between the former couple. Sunset leaned against Rarity, barely awake for the moment. Rarity continued to keep her right arm around Sunset’s back, all the while staring daggers at Flash, who looked at Rarity’s feet, clearly uncomfortable.
“I… guess I should apologize,” said Flash.
“That would be a start,” replied Rarity curtly.
Sunset slowly lifted her head to look at the two. When she spoke, her voice was soft and flat. “You can’t really blame him.”
Rarity turned to stare at Sunset like she had spontaneously grown a third eye. “Of course I can! Flash had no right to talk to you like that!”
Sunset shook her head. “Rarity. Flash and I have a past…”
“Yes, yes, I know. You two dated last year,” Rarity interrupted. “I know the breakup was bad, but was it really that bad?” she asked herself aloud.
Flash piped in. “It kinda was. Have you ever had a year of your life turn out to be fake? Have you ever fallen in love with someone only to find out they were lying to you the whole time about everything, even themselves? It makes you feel used.”
“Sunset?” Rarity asked quietly as she turned to her friend. Sunset, for her part, simply shut her eyes and nodded.
“It does,” Sunset said, not facing either of them. “Flash, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, so I won’t ask for it. There’s no point in apologizing, either; it can’t undo the past – this world doesn’t have time-travel spells.”
“There she goes again,” Flash muttered before Rarity shushed him.
“It took a celestial punch to the face for me to realize how much I screwed up, and I’ll have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. All I can do is move forward, try to atone, by acting like the pon– uh, person, that She knew I could be,” concluded Sunset.
Flash nodded. “Hmph. Gotta say, I’ve never heard you talk like this before.”
“Hitting rock bottom really gives you a new perspective on life. You should try it,” Sunset said, sardonic tone practically dripping out of her mouth. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to my room for a while.”
She stood up, allowing Rarity’s arm to fall limply onto the sofa cushion, and trudged the few feet to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Much to everyone’s surprise, she also locked it.
Flash sighed, pursing his lips as he stared at the door. Before he could speak, however, his thoughts were knocked out of him by a loud noise followed by a sudden stinging sensation on his cheek, powerful enough to black him out for a hundredth of a second. Once he regained his wits, he noticed Rarity still sitting next to him, her expression livid, holding her right hand aloft.
“Ow,” he said, rubbing his throbbing face.
Rarity shook out her hand, studying it closely. “I think I broke a nail. Oh well, it was worth it this time.”
“I guess I deserved that,” Flash said. “Maybe I was too hard on her.”
“Perhaps,” confirmed Rarity in what she made clear was a massive understatement.
“Sunset… That girl just has this… effect on me, you know? She’s always brought out the worst in me. One of… lots of reasons… we broke up.”
“Flash, I…” Rarity started but hesitated. “No. If Sunset wants to tell me, she can, on her own time. Best I not give her reason to dwell on the past any more than she already d—”
Their conversation was interrupted by the tuning of an acoustic guitar in the bedroom. Rarity cocked her head in confusion as Sunset began to play in earnest: a slower tune, beautiful yet melancholy, weaving between masterful picking and a progression of discordant minor chords eventually resolving in glorious harmonic majors. Before Rarity could comment, Sunset began to sing – or rather, vocalize without making any specific words. A talented chanteuse herself, Rarity nodded in approval at her friend’s voice.
When she turned back to Flash, she saw he had half a smile.
“So she does still play,” he said. “Good to know.”
“Oh?” Rarity asked, curious.
“We used to practice together,” he explained simply. “That song’s one of her go-to’s. Don’t know what it’s called.”
Rarity recalled the most recent Fall Formal, where Flash and his friends had formed a band and played a set. Mostly covers. He was lead guitar. She decided to ask him about a hunch she had. “Did you teach Sunset to play?”
Flash chuckled. “Well, that’s what people usually think, but no. She taught me most of the time. So many afternoons we’d sit on this couch and just… jam.”
“You know, Flash,” Rarity said as she briefly placed her hands on top of his. “I don’t think every moment you two spent together was false.”
Flash nodded in agreement. “You might be right,” he said. “Guess she’s not the only one stuck on the past. It’s been months since Sunset and I broke up. I’ve found a new girl. I guess that counts as moving on a little.”
“Twilight, right?” Rarity asked for confirmation.
“Yeah,” said Flash. “At least I hope so. Twi’s everything I liked about Sunset without the…” he shuddered as an unpleasant thought shot through his mind. “It’s gonna take me a long time to forgive everything Sunset’s done, but… Maybe now might be a good time to start on it.”
“I think so,” Rarity said as Flash stood up. “Don’t forget, you always have friends you can turn to if need be. Okay?”
“Uh-huh,” said Flash, apparently only half-listening. He began to turn towards the door but paused and turned back to Rarity. “Y’know, I’m man enough to admit when I’ve been a jackass. So… yeah. Sorry. Tell her that too. Oh, and I’m glad Sunset finally got a friend like you. It’s what she really needed. Take care of her.”
Without waiting for Rarity’s response, Flash exited the apartment, tunelessly humming the song Sunset continued to play. Rarity spread herself out across the couch, allowing herself to be lulled into a nap by the quiet chords from Sunset’s guitar.
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And suddenly i hate Flash Sentry more than i already did. Didn't even think that was possible.
I stand by my earlier comment on a previous story. I know the process will take time, but still. Great job, I look forward to the sequel.
I like how you handled Flash in this story. Whenever I see stories like this I worry that they'll make him act like a jerk for no good reason (which is totally against his characterization). Instead, you made his reasons for being angry understandable and believable and you made his confrontation with Sunset realistic. Plus, the fact that he realized his mistake and apologized for his actions shows that he is a good person. Overall, I liked your take on the character and i hope to see more of him in this continuity.
7758286 - Thank you. I appreciate the compliment.
I try my best to make character actions/motivations justified and believable.
7758121 -
I find him rather sympathetic, actually.
Have you (non-specific) ever had to deal with a former partner/lover/whatever after the end of the relationship? Depending on how bad the breakup was, it can be incredibly awkward. You might assume the worst about their motivations. You could be right… or wrong. In this case, Flash was VERY wrong.
To me, Flash is a good guy who's been through the emotional wringer, and he has his own demons to deal with. Shame that he still has terrible taste in women.
PS - I tried to find a decent picture of Flash angry. But he looks constipated. Oh well.
This is actually how I would expect him to react. Still pissed, but stops himself once he realizes her guilt and doesn't push anything else. Great work!
A different language, perhaps? Some old, Equestrian dialect, maybe?
This is an entertaining and well-balanced story. The charecters are perfectly played-out and the timings are perfect. Up voting!
My initial reaction to this story was that it felt kind of rushed. Like there's not much to go off of here; specifically, why Flash was portrayed as being so aggressive? What was even his motive besides he doesn't trust her because she was very manipulative during the entire time they dated (a whole year ago) and it ended badly?
I mean...is that really any reason to seek someone out for a confrontation? Especially when he's been informed of her ill state of being? For one, it doesn't seem like something a normal person would do, and especially not something Flash would do given his typical characterization as a pretty chill and understanding dude, and admittedly he does revert back to that but only after his weird overreactive confrontation with Sunset. I could see him being distrustful of her of course, but going out of his way to confront her about his suspicions seems farfetched to me.
And then I read the author's note:
- "Basically, I wanted to write a story about Flash Sentry. I wanted to explore his character a bit."
- "Your second question must be something along the lines of "What did Sunset DO? You need to explain it! Shitty author! Downvoted!" To that, I ask: Is it really important to know the details right now? I could have given the details, of course, but doing so would have made the story drag."
- And finally, "I promise all will be explained. Just not here or now."
Okay. So yeah, judging from those points the reason it felt rushed was because you chose to leave out crucial details that would have given context to Flash's behavior and pretty much the bulk of this story in general since it largely centers around his and Sunset's past.
I believe what you were trying to do was reveal bits of Flash's character through his reactions and dialogue as the story progressed which could have worked (maybe) but you still limited the details to such an extent that it was still ultimately unsatisfyingly vague.
I think there's a bit of irony here in that the very details and plot points that you chose to leave out to keep the story from "dragging on" would have given Flash the bit of character depth it kinda sounded like you wanted to explore.
In conclusion, apologies for the long-winded response, but yeah context is very important in that without it the way characters are portrayed may come off as out-of-character when their motives aren't clearly given especially considering they're not typically known for acting a certain way. In regards to this story, Flash Sentry's surprising amount of aggression without any real setup or provocation (they stopped dating a year before the events of this story, I don't really count that) was unnecessary.
Honestly in my humble opinion a simple fix might be to take all of the stories of this series and put them together in one big story as individual chapters.
7885935 -
I can't easily do that due to this site's tag restrictions. Also, shifting tone/perspective. Yes, there are professional novels where the POV changes (Poisonwood Bible, for a good example), but those were designed from the beginning to do that. When I started Sunset's Recovery Arc, I never expected it to BE an "arc"; it was just one short. It was nearly a year later that I decided to take it further, and I had no idea what would happen. If I had planned the whole arc from the outset, I could have set the story up your way. But that's not how it worked out, and I'm not about to change it now, especially since I'm currently writing an interquel set earlier than this. Besides, this short in particular is almost a side-story.
You're not wrong for wanting more details. At the time, I felt like what mattered is what I made sure to include: Sunset lied to him, betrayed his trust, and he's concerned she's gone back to her old manipulating ways. Now that I think about it, I could have thrown in a brief flashback to better explain why he's so angry and justified in being so. That I didn't is on me. I'm actually presently working on the story where it's explained, for what it's worth (different from the story I mentioned above).
And I just realized where I could have put a brief flashback to have the least impact on story flow, too. Oh well. Live and learn.
TL;DR - I'm sorry my story did not entertain you. While I respectfully disagree with some of your critique, you make some decent points, and I will try to improve going forward.
Also, I have not seen Legend Of Everfree, where he apparently gets more screentime, so I'm largely going off of his reactions to Sunset in Rainbow Rocks. That "AU" tag is there for a reason.
7886250
Sorry! I forgot to say "Thank you" for writing the story!!
But also if I may clarify, my main point that I was trying to make was that I disagreed with how Flash Sentry was characterized in the beginning because without the proper context or insight, he just kind of shows up with Rarity mad as hell and is a jerk despite Rarity telling him that Sunset isn't okay to begin with and that even though they've been broken up for a year, and everyone else seems to be okay with her now too, he's still mad at her for that. It just kind of struck me as odd is all, but in retrospect he did experience first-hand the extent to how manipulative she could be. Plus I'm assuming that unlike Rarity he's never sat down and talked to her since she changed ergo why he reacted why he did.
Perhaps I was wrong!
Regardless I'll be looking forward to the next story that expands on this one.
...Can Rarity please just keep hitting him? Maybe Sunset could join in, if she's feeling brave?
Can I just say...EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER!!!!!!!! Great story. I like how Flash has an aha! moment
7886404
I know I'm a little late to the party here (I'm just getting up to speed on these stories now) but I got the impression that Flash was not so much unreasonably incensed *at* Sunset as he was angry *for* her.
say what?
let me 'splain.
Consider if after the Fall Formal, Flash is still rightfully upset with Sunset due to both their breakup and her past actions. But he sees that she has received her comeuppance and maybe even recognizes that she's made changes in her life based on her current actions and her dealings with her new friends (Rarity and the girls). And being the nice guy that he is maybe he has even begun to change his opinion of her slightly.
But then... something happens. Sunset suddenly withdraws from the progress shes been making. She stops trying to make amends at school, in fact stops showing up at all. She stops spending time with her new friends, which probably raises a red flag in his mind. Then suddenly it appears rarity is running interference for, her making excuses and dissuading people from asking questions. To Flash, who feels more intimately affected by past events than most begins to wonder, "Is she doing it again? Is she still up to her conniving ways? Did she get me to start thinking better if her, just to disappoint me AGAIN? Did i fall for her lies AGAIN? And shouldn't Rarity of all people know better?"
Overreacting? Probably, but coming from being right in the middle of the situation last time like he was, not entirely unexpected. he's probably also concerned for rarity as he feels she was as deeply hurt by sunset as he had been. But maybe he's also still giving sunset the benefit of the doubt, that she shouldn't throw away the progress shes made and feels maybe a piece of his mind (such as it is) will help her to get back on track.
But if she really is trying to fool everyone again, including Rarity, then he feels justified, as "guy she done wrong", to step up.
Maybe. Just my take on it. Only Soufriere knows for sure
ps- sorry for the TeaL;DeeR
7886404 - Hey, sorry it's been literally months, but I wanted to let you know that your initial comment has been weighing on my mind lately. As you noted, I was very flip in my Author's Notes on the subject of Flash's motivation, but in retrospect I realized your critique was absolutely right, to the point I felt I really needed to do something about it, even six months post-publication.
TL;DR - I've added a flashback to this story to give Flash more justification for his attitude and actions. Give EM a reread if you'd like.
Someone remind me to smack Flash into next week for his comments.
😤
8300502 - I won't deny Flash was kind of a jerk, but I think he had a right to be suspicious, given what that flashback implies. At least until he realized Sunset really was broken, at which point he immediately backed off. Like a commenter said above/below, he still cares about Sunny whether he wants to or not. He also needs to know that Rarity won't get bamboozled like he did.
For what it's worth, I've completed the final two Recovery Arc stories. The next-to-last one, which I hope to post soon, sees Flash return and adds more dimension to his and Sunset's relationship. It also shows Rarity's retaliation here traumatized him.
honestly i really don't care about there past, flashes actions are beyond inexcusable here, hilarious how he gets no more then a slap in the face for it.😒
8329600
Flash's actions are completly understandable and believable taken into account what he knows about Sunset and how she acted before.
The only reason his actions seen unescusable is because the fic is written with Sunset/Rarity as the MC and we are to simpathise with them.
Any judgement made with emotion will be wrong, even when in good spirits or with good intention.
8858123
I appreciate your responding to idiots in the comments of my stories. It would look like poor sportsmanship coming from me.
The whole PURPOSE of these thirteen stories is Forgiveness. Some readers don't understand that, or reject it. Pity.
Like I've said before, I see Flash as sympathetic. He is a victim. I added the flashback specifically to make him come off as less of a jerk. Given the upvote ratio on this story and other comments, I think I succeeded. These characters are not idealized. They've been hurt; they've hurt others. Flash is acting on correct but outdated info.
The question you should be asking yourself is: What's going to happen when these three meet again? They will.
8858731
Being honest I am expecting something like in the everfree movie: they meet, talk and let the past be the past and go each on their own direction even though Flash wants to try again, or something like that. Not expecting Sunset and Flash becoming great friends or even Flash forgiving Sunset past actions but just moving on from them.
Boy, you done fucked up.
7758477
Personally, I think that all angry people look constipated. They're just too intimidating to notice.
Ok, I've been readin' off THE GUIDE!, and this stuff is awesome.
7885935
Thank you for helping me realize that I was missing something, as until you did, I had no idea the AUs were links. I am very much laughing at myself.
Eventually, Flash Sentry’s brain completed its initial processing of what it had just seen. “Oh shit. This really isn’t an act, is it?” he said to himself, barely audible.
-
No shit sherlock!
When Sunset was playing the guitar the song that made me think that Sunset might be playing is Elton John's song "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word".
SONG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3nScN89Klo
GUITAR VERSION (WITH NO WORDS): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U34e3NIkhGg
Fight me Sentry! I never liked you even as a kid!
7758121
Finally someone gets us!
She's right, doing it by force wouldn't be the best decision if you ask me, as it'll just make it worse.
Not surprised there she'd remove them.
Is that proof good for you flash. 😠
Took you this long to figure it out ain't it lover boy.
Did rarity just slap him?
Yep, and soon enough you'll be over it.
this is my favorite thing about sunset shimmer. she can be anything the writer want her to be. slaver, psychopath, misguided, lonely.
you can write a scene where she got beat down by anybody without giving context and it will come out naturally.
You can has review!
11355157
…What?? Okay. Your comment was so badly spelled and poorly argued it made my brain bleed from the sheer stupidity of it and the point I think you were trying to make (you failed). Don't try to bring politics into this -- only I'm allowed to do that. You're reading exactly the wrong things into my work and it pisses me off. Are you a MAGAt or a Woke freak? I honestly can't tell.
It IS longer than what I originally posted. Read the damn comments. After constructive criticism from early readers, I added more story onto the beginning plus fleshed out stuff in the middle for the characters, and the work is better for it. My work doesn't need to be "longuer". What would that accomplish? Nothing.
Gotta admit, I've always hated Flashs character since he showed up in the first EQG. Something about I didn't like.
...
11361541
Well it’s been some time and after some soul searching, Coming out of the closet and most importantly MATURING I re read this story under new eyes and all I have to say is
“What the hell was my problem with this fanfic?” And “god flash is a piece of shit in this one”
I hope my comments made you laugh a little!
Good bye and wish you a good day