Into Dusk
Nightmare Moon
Darkness. Shade. The mare of the moon wrapped herself in these and took solace in their protection. What little comfort could it offer her, though, to have fled her throne and sought sanctuary in the forest?
Even the Everfree felt as if it shunned her. Whether she collected herself in the shadow of crooked branches or forgotten stone, it thrummed with a violent presence. If the wood had ever considered her master, it was no longer so.
We are too mighty to know fear, she told herself as she slipped from branch to root. Yet Discord sat upon the throne and she could not face him. Anything she could throw at him would simply result in her making a fool of herself. Her servants and followers abandoned her in her moment of need. No force in the world could give her what she needed to reclaim Equestria.
I am alone.
“No, you are never truly alone.”
Nightmare Moon's gaze snapped to a figure of blue, feathers and horn. Her own nattering voice manifest. “I beg to differ. Unless you mean to count our captives as viable company?”
She scoffed and stepped out of the shadow, slipping from two dimensions to three as her hooves took form and dug into the forest floor. Yet in her shadow remained a squirming mass of shapes. Three children, tethered to her through enchantment, trapped in a realm between realms. She had succeeded in muting them but still they struggled against her will, their shapes manifesting in shadow as if trying to break from water, only to be submerged again.
“You cannot bind them for long,” said Luna, “or they will fade into the realm of darkness.”
The princess stepped closer to her nightmarish counterpart. Nightmare Moon lowered her head and scraped the ground. No matter how many times she smote the manifestation of her weaker side, it always came back to bother her.
“And if I release them, they will flee from me,” said Nightmare Moon. “This was a foolish idea.”
Luna shook her head and mane and made a loose circle about Nightmare Moon. “Children are the first to learn to love the night. Sure there are stallions and mares who would use our domain for their deeds, but how purely the young shiver for the chill of night winds, how long they fill their eyes with stars... they would slip from their mothers and fathers to join us.”
“Which is why we had to steal them from their beds,” Nightmare Moon replied. She turned as Luna paced, her black wings slowly unfolding upwards. She would never turn her back to any pony, not even herself. “I suppose it will discourage some ponies from attempting to destroy us.”
The fragment of Luna sighed and rubbed her brows, sitting before her. “You will need them,” she said. “For this and for many other reasons. What will you do now? You cannot fight Discord.”
“I can defeat him.” Nightmare Moon snorted and lashed her tail. “If only I have the element of surprise.”
“We no longer have the element of anything, thanks to you,” said Luna. “It is futile.”
“You doubt me.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “And you doubt me. Is there a difference, in the end? We will always be running. But if we try, we can catch our sister.”
Nightmare Moon lowered her head and snarled, eyes glowing white with fury. “We can never.”
The fragment of herself froze for a moment. Then closed her eyes, and shook her head. “Until you accept that, you will only know restlessness and fear. It is the only way to restore balance. To restore...”
A bolt of darkness arced from Nightmare Moon's wings and struck the blue mare between the eyes. The magic struck not a pony, but the ground and foliage where Luna once sat. The charred ground smoked and blackened, moss and grass wilting.
“We can never go back to the way things were,” said Nightmare Moon. She wandered back onto the forest trail. She would find her old castle and from there she would return to full strength.
The way seemed to bend before her, though, and she failed to notice the frantic calls of birds as they rose from the branches and into the blue sky. Three fillies tugged at the back of her mind, wordless pleas for freedom as they struggled to break through the hold of her shadow.
Fluttershy
All that a pony could ever ask for grew in the valley of the Everfree. Good grass to graze on. Clean water. Sprawling hills and safe burrows. As far as Fluttershy knew she'd been the first to live there in a long time. Perhaps she would show Zecora—if the zebra didn't already know about it, which would have admittedly surprised her—after she'd prepared homes for her animals.
The timberwolf pack had already moved in, though they spent most of their time prowling in the forest or tending to their young. Only Birch Bite followed Fluttershy regularly, and even then she was prone to long sojourns into the wilderness. Angel refused to stray far from his freshly dug burrow, unless they returned to civilization, like he made her promise.
Day burned into dusk when a bright blue jay fluttered from the trees and perched a rock beside Fluttershy, prattling endlessly in birdsong. Big pony creature in the woods, roughly. Not a zebra. The birds had a different song for Zecora, when they paid attention to her at all. Someone new and strange was wandering the forest and she would have to meet them.
Even if it was Nightmare Moon.
“Where are they?”
The bird looked about wearily and hopped a couple steps, nearly taking flight before it communicated again. Towards the sun. Small water. The ironwood creek.
“That's a good bird. Now, could you be so kind as to call the arrowhawks? I might be needing a little help.”
The jay cocked its head, but chirruped agreeably once Fluttershy had produced a small hoof's worth of flower seed. It finished its reward in a flurry of pecks and then fanned its wings politely before taking to the air again.
Birch came before she could call, sliding silently down a rock face before hopping beside her. She sniffed the air and gave a low howl.
“It's not really a hunt,” said Fluttershy, brushing back one of Birch's ears. “But we are looking for somepony.”
The timber wolf nodded.
Fluttershy followed her up the rock face and to a narrow slip of a trail that most ponies would have not recognized even staring or standing on it. They followed the animal run, barely big enough for them to walk and a little too cramped for the span of their wings. Birch scented something strange and they pursued.
What if it's Nightmare Moon? She thought, wings curling tight against her sides. There's no way I can outfly her, even in here. My friends could get hurt... I guess I could hide.
The same shy pony in her refused to let the villain have her way, though, and she would have to find some way to stop her scheming. Whatever she was up to, it could not have been any good. It didn't stop Fluttershy's heart from pounding as they worked their way beneath heavy branches and towards the sound of running water.
Birch's ears turned first, but she heard it as well: the sound of hooves beating over rock and water through the darkness.
Her first instinct was to run, but she forced herself forward.
A little light peeled through where the ground gave way to water, through thousands of leaves that arched over the creek. The trees, gray and thick, stood sentinel to the nearly impassable ridges of the water. A hundred paces in either direction, the stream wove several corners and the path vanished from sight. Fluttershy squeezed between a pair of ironwood trunks and slid down until running water lapped over her hooves. The trickle of water and rock folded over the splashing upstream. Closer and closer it came and before Fluttershy could make out more than a shape, Birch surged towards them.
“Wait!” she called.
The timberwolf was already in mid-pounce, but she withdrew her snapping teeth and instead settled for bowling the orange pony into the stream. Fluttershy watched in horror as Applejack became entangled with Birch. She rushed over and put her wings between them, pushing hard.
“It's okay, she's a friend!” pleaded Fluttershy. Birch looked up, cocked her head in confusion, then removed her tremendous weight from Applejack, who sputtered and spat creek water as she jumped to her hooves.
“What in tarnation?” demanded Applejack, but the fight left her as soon as she laid eyes on Fluttershy. “What are you doin' here? I figured you ran off with your animals a while back, but...” Her gaze wandered to Birch. “Didn't take you for putting in with monsters.”
Birch whined a bit as Fluttershy coaxed her with a wing. “And I thought you were a dog pony.”
They laughed a little. Applejack stared expectantly.
“It's a long story,” said Fluttershy, scuffing a hoof in the water.
“I bet,” said Applejack, leaning a bit closer. “You look all different.”
Fluttershy glanced down at the water and picked up a bit of her reflection in the current. She'd taken care to groom at least twice a day, but could never keep up with the toll that the forest was taking on her mane. It grew long and wild and her creamy yellow fur had begun to stain in places and fray in others. Not dirty, but wild.
“So what are you doing here?” Fluttershy tilted her head to the side, mimicked by Birch. “It's a long way from Sweet Apple Acres. I hope you're not looking for me...”
Applejack tugged on the rim of her hat. “Really now. I wouldn't have known the first place to look, and the Everfree would certainly have been the last. I'm tryin' to track down Nightmare Moon. Thought I'd start with that dark old castle but apparently I can't even find my way there.”
“Why would you want to find her?” Fluttershy looked up, down, and behind her, as if speaking of the mare would be enough to summon her. “She's not... she's not a good pony.”
“I know, Fluttershy. She nabbed Apple Bloom right out of her bed. And I'm gonna bring her back home.”
The pegasus' eyes widened and her wings opened automatically as she remembered the sound of crying ponies and the shadow that carried them through the forest. “That's awful! We have to do something.”
“Have you seen her? Or my sister?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I saw a great shadow moving through the forest, and I thought I heard some fillies, but I haven't been able to track it down...”
Another distant trill of birdsong caught Fluttershy's ear. But even Applejack heard the crack of thunder echo across the land. Dots of black smoke wisped through the sky, barely visible through slits of light in the canopy. Fluttershy and Applejack looked at one another once, then tore their way up the bank and back into the forest together.
Applejack
The Everfree brought all roads to one that gray dusk, for all turned towards the grounds of the ancient castle. Applejack and Fluttershy made their way out of brush and across half-buried cobble, out of the claustrophobic wood and into the prodding of rain. The shrinking day grew darker still, the creatures of the wood and the wood itself seeming to retreat from the clearing.
Heavy hoofsteps echoed in the air, a prelude to the rumble of thunder. The wind smelled like burning ozone and chill rolled over the ponies as Nightmare Moon emerged.
Her gaze met Applejack. They stared. Fluttershy's wings twitched. Nightmare Moon's jaw clenched. The memory of the last time that they had met hung between them. That meeting had ended with six friends unconscious on the castle floor and Equestria in perpetual night. Now only the cloud-filled sky witnessed their reunion.
“Where is my sister?” demanded Applejack. No fear in her voice, and no more than a little promise of retribution. She stood like an oak against the threat of Nightmare Moon.
The black mare tossed her mane and lifted the filly's shadow from her own. “With me. But you could not save her when she is in sleeping under your roof. You can't even save her when she is beside you.”
Nightmare Moon tossed Apple Bloom's silhouette across the yard and it splashed against the stone in front of Applejack. The shadow scrambled and hid within her own. For all the world she felt as if her sister stood beside her, seeking shelter. She knew without a doubt that it was her. But she could not touch her, lift her, help her any more than she could her own shadow.
“Wouldn't you like to hold her tight?” Nightmare Moon jeered. “If you love your sister you should join her in darkness.”
“You give her back,” demanded Applejack, lowering her stance. “I don't care what you do but you give back the fillies you stole.”
Nightmare Moon laughed. Her wings flared and the clouds above swirled, filtering out more of the sun. “You think you have the right to command me? Fool. It was bad fortune that led you here.”
Fluttershy unfolded her wings with a snap, a broad fan of glinting yellow and gold forming behind her. “If that's true, then why are you afraid?”
The opening of Nightmare Moon's wings came with a violent burst of wind that caught Fluttershy and Applejack and pushed them back upon their hooves. She howled with rage and charged blindly at them. They scattered at her strength, but Fluttershy was right. She moved with anger, unpredictable and wild as the forest.
But Fluttershy knew the forest. She answered Nightmare Moon's cries with a sharp whistle. A flock of birds broke from the trees, their wings like razors and each stroke of feather like a tiny burst of lightning. They shot through the air and rained talons upon Nightmare Moon in the midst of another charge. She screeched and twisted on her hind legs, wrenching the ground open beneath her as she lashed out at the surprise attack.
Then Applejack threw herself upon the black mare, and Birch followed. They collapsed in a heap and became a mass of bucking legs and violent cries. For all their strength and surprise, they could not hold down Nightmare Moon. She rose and threw off the wolf and the pony with one shake, and the air around her brewed with lightning and thunder as she drew the elements to her aid.
“We can help you!” said Fluttershy, holding her animals back with the wave of a hoof. “We shouldn't be fighting.”
“You should not have struck out at us, then,” spat Nightmare Moon. She circled the ponies wide, ever facing them, tracing the perimeter of the courtyard as a trickle of black flame followed her path. Old moss and twigs, though damp, began to smolder and smoke. “Always trying to 'help' us... one pony after another. And all betrayed us. Even your precious, innocent Twilight Sparkle. You speak sweet words and then you will lock us away!”
The fire grew and crackled, eating at wood and stone as Nightmare Moon completed her circle. Black flames roared higher and higher until they licked the tops of trees and towers alike and blocked out all but the gray sky above. Otherworldly heat ate into Fluttershy and Applejack. Birch moaned in pain and even the rain seemed to be unable to reach them from above.
“Let us see if you like a thousand years asleep in shadow,” said Nightmare Moon.
They scrambled to come upon her again but she took to the air before they got even close. Fluttershy took to wing and the hawks joined her. Nightmare Moon whipped them away with stroke after stroke of black magic until they fell prone to the ground.
Applejack's body seemed to stick there, as if the earth itself were a part of her weight. She pried as hard as she could but her own strength seemed to betray her. Nightmare Moon floated above them and prepared to finish her spell.
Nightmare Moon
For all her drive in battle, Nightmare Moon took little pleasure in putting ponies in their place. They should bend knee to me, she thought, in the moment of silence before she prepared to banish them. They should love me without having to learn.
She taught herself not to hesitate, not to linger, but one tiny break in incantation was enough. Light flashed above, seemingly from nowhere as the clouds broke open and a pegasus sheared through them. Nightmare Moon, trying to keep hold on her enchantment, could only turn and glimpse the streak of rainbow that struck her square in the side.
Rainbow Dash drove her straight into the ground and she lost her grip on the shadows. Applejack and Fluttershy rose. They spared not a moment to wipe their eyes or catch their breath. They assaulted her once, and again, and each time she would throw them off. Still they came at her, from the ground and from the sky, a flurry of feathers and hooves and magic bringing dust into the rain and stones from their piles. She crashed to the ground again and again beneath their weight and her body remembered the burning of pain she hadn't known since she was a filly.
“It took you a while to get flying down, didn't it?” asked the fragment of herself, a lilt of a laugh in her voice. Nightmare Moon glared at the space between her attackers where her other self stood and lashed out. The blue mare glided aside with a brush of her wings.
Applejack bucked her again, hard. And for a moment the hoof that struck her beneath the ribs, ripping the breath from her, was not a hoof at all but the hard unmoving ground. Castle Canterlot. Miles away and years and years ago. She wouldn't have fallen if she hadn't insisted on landing in trees, launching from parapets, springing off the castle walls. The movement alone was fun. Ducking the royal guards as they tried to keep her in line was even moreso. The notion of play felt so foreign to her now, and yet she could recall so clearly the joy she'd felt on simple summer days.
Dusk, the time that she shared with her sister, the time between night and day. The graceful, annoyingly perfect white princess leaned down into the mud and took her hoof . Let me help you, had she said, and pulled her up.
Nightmare Moon saw the forest again and stood as she had when her sister had taken her up. She shook her mane and shuddered. The flames around them swayed and flickered, confused as her mind was. Her attackers recovered again as well.
“You cannot overcome them through rage alone,” said her fragment. “Not three ponies. And not Discord.”
Shut up, she thought, drawing her wings to herself. Who she was, what she carried with her, would fuel her hatred enough to last until the end of time. Or so she thought.
Wolves howled from the forest and Birch answered. Timber wolf after Timber wolf piled from the trees to join the fight, leaping through the remnants of flame and sizzling in the rain. Creatures of wood and wind and flesh beat her down. All she could do was throw them off again and again. Her motions grew more panicked, more desperate.
And she was tired. She'd never thought it possible, but fighting and fighting with wild abandon filled her with a sense of emptiness. But they betrayed you. Your sister betrayed you. You can never forgive them.
The fragment of Luna sighed. “You do not need to forgive anyone to find what you need. The answers are with your sister. Stop fearing her. Face her.”
Anger boiled but did not break, for the fight had taken its toll on her. The memories of her sister were seeping through the cracks of her mind. It could have been manipulation. All a trick. And if it isn't, I can master myself again. And if it is...
Her eyes met Applejack's as the pony charged again. She lifted to smash her aside with a wing or a hoof. But she could see it, feel the pony's love for her sister like a wave of heat from her soul. That she would stop at nothing to bring the little one back. The same eyes that Celestia had...
“Enough!” Nightmare Moon cried, her voice alone sending the pony and wolf alike tumbling head over heels. The battlefield grew silent and she stood at the center. “Enough. No matter how you strike at me, it will not bring your fillies back.”
“You better hope they come back,” said Rainbow Dash, making a full threat display as she stalked forward. “Or else you're going to have a lot more to worry about than a beat down.”
Nightmare Moon refused to budge. Even then she worked her most primal magic, not with her body but with her shade. The ground crawled with shadows that billowed beneath her hooves. “We have been mistaken. We will find Celestia...” She grit her teeth. The fragment of herself nodded, and faded. She scoffed. “And when we return, not even Discord will stop us.”
All at once she gathered the shadows from the ponies, building a swirling cloak of night about herself. Applejack grasped her belly and screamed as the darkness peeled out from beneath her. Apple Bloom's shadow came back to her, though it scrambled and grasped at every inch of ground until she vanished into Nightmare Moon again. Applejack could only watch in horror as Nightmare Moon began to fade.
“Seek us if you dare, but you will lose yourself forever in the land between dawn and dusk. The same fate your beloved foals will share, should you meddle with us again.”
If they replied, she could not see nor hear them as she sunk into the shadow of Equestria. All became black against a white sky. All living things melted into the distance as she dove through unimaginable depths and into the place where darkness lived.
Silence met her there but it did not stay long as the three fillies fell from her thrall and onto the ground. They groaned and panted for breath, as if they had been deprived it for so long. Apple Bloom, the yellow filly with the red bow. Scootaloo the pegasus and Sweetie Belle. Someone cared deeply for them. And even though they were on the very edge of Equestria, they may as well have been a million miles away.
It only took them a moment to realize it themselves. The three fillies looked at one another. Then Nightmare Moon. They shared an understanding of their situation and made to bolt off into the forest together. Then they got a good look at it.
Trees that were almost trees, but weren't really, rose about them in a sprinkling of detail. Only the things that they fixed their eyes on stood absolutely still, and they could not be sure of that, for their forms shifted like water. Black and gray and dull earthen tones filled everything. The rock, the tree, the sky, and only occasional glints of brightness shone through before being washed out by the darkness.
Only Equestria's shadows lived there. The shadows, and them, and creatures that had become lost in shadow. It was as much a part of Nightmare Moon as she was of it.
“Where are we?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I don't know,” said Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle said nothing, clung to Apple Bloom's side. The little yellow filly turned and glared at Nightmare Moon.
“Where have you taken us?” she demanded.
Nightmare Moon smiled a little. She admired the child's resilience. “To one of the many sides of Equestria, the land between dawn and dusk. This is where the night lives... and many things that a young pony like you should never have to hear word of.” She turned what should have been south, and was more likely to be, with only a shade of the Everfree's influence. “Stay with me, or your souls may be lost forever, one with the shadows.”
The black mare walked and the fillies remained, stubborn. But they knew it was the truth. If they had any hope of returning to their homes, they would have to stay with her. And before she left their sight, she heard their little hooves striking the ground behind her, echoes almost lost the empty realm.
Applejack
Her warning lingered in their ears as she disappeared from the face of Equestria. The ponies looked on in stunned silence as not a single shadow remained within the ruin, even as the clouds closed and the rain fell to wash away the evidence of their battle.
All that had kept Applejack standing left her in one breath and she collapsed into the mud, sobbing. Nightmare Moon was right. She'd taken Apple Bloom right from beneath her hooves not once, but twice, and no amount of cleverness nor force she could muster could save her.
“It's not over,” said Rainbow Dash. Two pairs of wings draped over her back, shielding her from the rain. The animals slipped away but Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash held her tight. As deep as her despair felt, she was not yet alone in Equestria.
“I reckon it might be,” she said. “Unless you know some way to walk through shadows. What do you suppose we can do against Nightmare Moon, anyway? We gave her all we had and then some.”
“I don't know,” admitted Rainbow Dash. “But as long as we're alive and kicking we've got to do something. She ran from us. There has to be something, even if we don't know it yet.” She folded her ears back and thumped her head against the ground. “Twilight. If anypony knows, it has to be her.”
Applejack nodded. “You're right.”
The three ponies slowly unfurled and tried in vain to brush the mud from themselves as they rose again.
“I missed you girls,” muttered Rainbow Dash.
Applejack smiled, even though she tried not to. “I missed ya'll too. How did you know where we were?”
"Hard to miss all the smoke and screaming," said Rainbow Dash.
“I missed everyone too,” said Fluttershy. “But um, we should go somewhere safe before we decide what to do next.”
Rainbow Dash raised her wings and looked around the forest, eyebrows raised. “You look like you've done good for yourself, 'shy, but I'm not sure I jive with your idea of 'safe' here.”
They were too tired and too happy to see each other to argue, though. Every moment they waited, they knew that Nightmare Moon slipped further from their grasp. But she had also stretched them to their limits, and they would be able to help no one in their current state. Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed Fluttershy, though reluctantly, back through the forest.
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Okay. Sorry for the massive delay there. Forgive me.
I have read EVERY comment diligently! And I'll put in an effort to respond now, even if it's just a lot of 'thank you's for compliments for most of them. . .
The suspence! The anticipation! The drama!
... I wonder if Birch is okay :c
Another awesome chapter. though, I did notice a mistake in RD's last dialogue "You like like you've done..." I think you meant "You look like you've done..."
Other than that excellent.
Damn Fluttershy kicked flank!
1083422 Well think about it. They can only live off love. With Discord ruling, there is only chaos, no love at all. The changelings would starve if they don't do something. Even if Shining isn't getting them to help, they will do something drastic soon.
And so they gather again, except this time, Fluttershy can call deadly creatures to her aid, instead of just Angel bunny. Also, everyone else is looking with and kicking ass, good on you mate.
More awesomesauce. I understand that these are setup chapters. Can't wait for more Discord though.
I like it, keep it up.
1083230 Birch is probably alright. The Royal Canterlot Voice sure does have a lot of push to it, though. . .
1083342 Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. ^^;
1083413 Fluttershy always kicks flank. Dragons, bears... I think the only reason she had a hard time with the changelings is because she was worried she'd hurt her friends.
At least it made more sense than her running from the Hydra in Pinkie Keen.
1083443 In times of great diress, friends and family look to one another for support... ESPECIALLY in a world falling apart, this is when people are the most open about their relationships to one another. Love kind of blossoms. I think this is part of WHY there was a full-out assault in the finale. . . However, they also seem to be native somewhere south of the Badlands and I don't know what they do for sustenance that far out.
Do they collect 'love' like ants and collect it in a hive? We know so little about their natural habitat.
That's not going to keep me from making wild guesses, though.
1083458 I always struggle with this kind of action scene. Hopefully it's going okay!
1083479 More Discord is definitely on the way! Even though it's setup I try to keep it moving interestingly.
1083508 Thanks!
And phew, that's it for me, for now... I think that took me a couple of hours just to reply to everything. I should keep up better, from now on. If people reply after this one, I'll get to them later.
Well I am just glad I had the opportunity to get a glance of has yet to come.
Keep up the amazing work, as I shall remain in the shadows, hungrily awaiting for more...
So the Crusaders are now stuck with Nightmare who's now seeking her sister Celestia. Just where and why is Celestia hiding? What does she think of everything that's happen? Like the fact her student the pony that's like a daughter to her freed her old enemy Discord. Will Nightmare find Celestia or will someone else get to her before she does?
Do the rest of the mane six or anypony in Equestria for that matter know that Twilight is the one that freed Discord and is now basically Discord's right hand mare? If they don't know how will Twilight's friends react when they find out?
Something i've been wondering will there be any romance and pairing's in this story beside's any canon ones like Shining Armor and Cadence like Discord and Twilight for example? Really wouldn't mind seeing some Discolight in this story to be honest. Would be interesting to see how Twilight would deal with falling for Discord on top of everything else going on.
This, I must read!
Wish me luck~
1083359
☼ An Equestrian Filmworks production ☽
Based on the terrifying novel by Page Turner
Screenplay adapted by Type Set
HAND HUNTERS
"Uh, Scoots? Are ya' sure this is a good idea? What if one of the ushers sees us back here?"
"Oh, come on! Don't think about that! Think about how awesome it'll be when we get scary movie cutie marks."
"Scare movie cutie marks? What would they look like? And what would talents be? Would they be making scary movies? Watching scary movies? 'Cause that doesn't make any sense—"
"Shh! Enough of your logic, Sweetie Bell. This is movies. There's not need for logic in movies."
"Mmf mff."
"…Ah agree on all counts."
Lordlyhour's Long absurdly Alliterative redundant recap!
Nightmare Nicked Precious Prebuscent Ponies to plant the precursor to long lasting loyalty but beat down by a Sibling Seeking sister, a Polychomatic Peregrine of a Pony and a wanderer of wild Woodlands while mocked by memories! She Skedaddled, Scarpering with stolen shadows,
stalling searches with Terrible threats! Seekers strategically retreat to recouperate whilst thinking to talk to Twilight who remains Wrapped in the Draconequiss Discord's Chaotic Claws!
That was an awesome fight scene and chapter.
1083422 Well, the last time I checked, the true cakes were imperative to Equestria's survival as a functioning nation.
Awww man, no Zecora? Not only was my prediction incorrect but she didn't even make an appearance.
Why do you hate the zebras!?
Simply wonderful fic so far. Moar
1083340
It doesn't to my knowledge. I don't receive notifications about people editing chapters. I think the only think that changes is the date it says a chapter was last modified.
Great chapter as always. Can't wait to read the next.
I have to say you did a great job with the rescue attempt by the three heroines in this chapter.
Well done on how you made Fluttershy a bit more tougher by living it out in the woods for most of her life.
Great to see the CMCs together within this chapter, although I wonder if this is the first time they all met each other in this world of yours ?
I cannot wait to see how the girls will go to try to find Twilight in Discord's clutches ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one because I cannot wait to see what happens next in this storyline of yours.
1083422
Only "almost"?
From everything I've seen, she's Way Harder than Discord. With Discord you have the advantage that very little of him have been seen. Pinkie Pie has a lot more source material to keep track of xD.
And do you Really want an answer to why I dislike those two? I'll already warn you that I like talking about ponies, and answering this in detail wouldn't be a problem at all! :)
1085348
Second time. They were hiding under the same table when Nightmare Moon crashed the Summer Sun Celebration. ...or so I've been told. Every time I rewatch the pilots, I keep forgetting to check.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png
Also, given the description at the top, and the buildup so far, I half expected Discord to be the one to try to find `Tia. I'm calling it now. This story is going to end in a Triarchy between an only SLIGHTLY reformed Discord, an annoyed and grumbling Nightmare Moon, and Celestia stuck in the middle.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
1086091
it maybe their second meeting, but it was the first real encounter of each other with speaking roles.
>>starsong Thy art welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liking this so far.
If I had to narrow down my two biggest complaints, they would be;
1. You need some kind of formatting to distinguish character thoughts from normal prose, just as you do for dialogue. Using italics for thoughts is the most common way of doing this.
2. Your version of Discord is severely underused, and it's a shame because you write him so well. I can find no complaints with any of your characterisations thus far, and I love that you've made all of the main six relevant to the story in some way by giving them all roles, but I think more focus should be put on Discord, and Twilight too for that matter. The description led me to believe that it would be focusing largely on his reactions and character development in response to an unexpected acceptance by the ponies, while it has gone into that, it's only really lightly touched on the concept and multiple chapters have been spent away from him and instead focusing on other characters who are resisting him, or Nightmare Moon, and while both of those things are interesting too, Discord is possibly the most unique element here and what makes this concept so original, and it's sad to not see that explored more.
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Just peeking in to address this. . . are the italics not showing up or something? Because I do have the character's inner thoughts/dialogue in italics. I know that FiM likes to mess with my formatting but it seems okay here, unless I've missed something...
As for Discord and Twilight... yeah. I'm working on a way to bring them in more without tossing the other characters aside. It's a tricky balance to keep, that's for sure!
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I'll fix this tonight, thanks.
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A female pegasus, yeah. I wasn't really aware of that particular fanname when I picked this one... oh well.
And I swear I formatted those correctly. . . they were originally in italics. Either the BBcode is messing with me or Discord is
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I think there are italics for some instances of thought but not all. I noticed it more in more recent chapters, so you may just want to do a quick once-over to see if you missed any.
The followed the animal run
Wouldn't you like to hold her in your arms?
Someone cared deeply for them
I missed everyone too
1. They.
With my bolded words I immediately think of Wild Arms
2. Arms? ARMS?!
3. Somepony.
4. Everypony.
The MOAR TRAIN HAS ARIVED!!!!!
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s720x720/524289_412270962143309_1957266077_n.jpg
After this chapter I dearly hope that this story's version of Nightmare Moon will get what's coming to her.
Flutthershy, ruler of Everfree forest emerged victorious when she, her friends and her army forced Nightmare Moon herself to retreat.
I m a bit supriced that Nightmare Moon failed in that fight so easly, a bit over melodramatic, that when she could crush armies, anihilating 3 ponies and some everfree forest creatures were impossible for her, but I like the idea that Flutthershy saved the day, if it was not for her army, Applejack and RainbowDash would be toast.
...
Rainbow Dash doesn't "jive" with Fluttershy...? Sorry, but that's just doesn't seem like something RBD would say...
LUNA: Release these fillies, Nightmare!
NIGHTMARE: Why should I?
LUNA: If you leave them in the shadows, they are likely to be eaten by a grue!
NIGHTMARE: .... *eyetwitch*
1231465 I think the idea is supposed to be that Nightmare Moon has lost purpose, she's confused and that weakens her, on top of already being wiped from fighting Discord. On top of all that, despite being evil, she is still a pony, and all of this prolonged exposure to negative emotion and disharmony is draining her.
Or at least, that's my take on things. Partially stemming from the canonical fact that emotions have supernatural power in Equestria. (Friendship = magic, love can be weaponized by Cadence and Shining Armour, etc.)
1103201 While your post points out problems in a pertinent manner for the most part, I have to point out that arms, or at least forearms is actually the correct term, and forelegs would be incorrect. I refer you to here;
1.bp.blogspot.com/-hIiixR2lJ5U/TfszfH2_OjI/AAAAAAAAGDM/Vpu7VosbxDI/s1600/1307809802.tomclowder_pony-parts.png
and here:
sportpolo.com/images/Pony/Polo_Pony_Anatomy.jpg
Of course the two - one example from the cartoon and one from reality - are different, as you may have noticed. Both have forearms, but the cartoon variant has upper arms, and the entire front leg is actually referred to as an 'arm'.
This is because of the way the joints in an MLP: FiM pony's body interconnect and function. In order for their front limbs to function as they do in the show, they would have to be arms. Either that or we hand-wave it as cartoon physics, which is just lazy and boring.
Yeesh, that sounded kinda' harsh. Sorry about that, I sorta' got into lecture mode, a bit.
Woah... action is starting. Still, Nightmare Moon is going to find Celesita... and she wishes to take on Discord with her? Interesting....
I find curious how Nightmare Moon found so many difficulties to fight three ponies. And a bunch of Timberwolves. Don´t get me wrong, those adversaries are really respectable, but I expected better from the alicorn who conquered Equestria
One of the many reasons this remains a standout "what if" story is the fact that the characters are entirely recognizable and yet unmistakably changed by the time that has passed under NMM's rule.
"Fluttershy, you're such a daredevil!" ~Rainbow Dash
...I do wonder how she looks like this. Cadance after days in the caves is lovelier than an evil and pampered imposter, I wonder if Fluttershy of the Everfree’s the same way...