Twilight Sparkle
Twilight's vision ceased to blur. Sleep no longer veiled the golden plains from her. She rose as a ghostly shape amidst a sea of light and waving grain. She had no sense of limb, nor breath, nor the rigid efforts of a body struggling to preserve itself against the passage of time. All that remained of her was her mind, a shining brilliant entity, and a gentle pulse like a heartbeat.
All of her experience of that place before then had been a lie, muddled and twisted by her senses to some facsimile of paradise. A complete understanding washed over her as she stepped among the silvered spirits of her pony kin. A tiny thought, like the most distant star in the sky of her mind, wept at the failure of her quest and the lost hope of Equestria. But it nearly silenced at the light of the sun, and she knew that they would all meet again once she'd reached that light. All that she'd known and all those ponies she loved, she would find at the end of her journey—the true journey—and knowing that put her at peace.
Cadence
When Twilight's life ended, each of her friends felt a sudden pang of emptiness in their hearts. They gave pause and turned their gaze to the skies, beyond their toils, and longed for nothing more than to see her and embrace her again. No pony felt this more strongly than Cadence.
The point that had pierced Twilight's heart seared a pain into her, though her screams were muffled by warm towels and an unconscious delirium. Ever since she'd been left for dead, her mind floated in an endless sea of gray. Twilight's presence shattered that dream, a burst of light showing her the way through the changeling queen's enchantment. Two lights in the distance drew to her and when they opened up she found herself looking through them and into the waking world where unknown voices greeted her.
“... giving her... find another... or else ... will not recover.”
“But she's getting better, isn't she?”
“This pony's spirit is very strong of will to have lasted through the night. Although the poison tries to make her still, she does not give up her fight.”
Princess Cadence moaned and twisted in the makeshift bed. Her vision did not return in its entirety. Instead she saw the world in swimming colors, only able to piece together a detail at a time. She was inside a foreign looking hut filled with the bittersweet fragrances of medicine and tea. There were two others with her: a yellow pegasus at her bedside, changing the towels on her forehead, and a zebra tirelessly grinding dark leaves with a mortar and pestle.
The pegasus caught glimpse of her stirring and her opened eyes and her wings sprung up in joy. “She's awake!” said the yellow pony. “Thank Celestia, you're going to be alright, aren't you?” She turned and looked towards the zebra. “She is, right?”
The zebra nodded once and lifted a ladle of dark liquid, tipping it up against Cadence's lips. She swallowed the bitter liquid and coughed, the heat just a bit too much for her. But each foul drop brought her a little more lucidity.
“Try not to move, my friend,” said the zebra, drawing back to give her some space. “Your struggle is not yet at an end. This venom, it seems to have magical properties. Tell me what bit you and I will try put your pain at ease.”
When she tried to remember what happened, it all came back in a series of painful flashes. Shining Armor. The invasion of Canterlot. The changeling queen. And Twilight's soul was wandering. She groaned and grasped at her chest, twisting in place until the zebra forced her to hold still.
Princess Cadence did not need to move much. She turned her head towards the pegasus and managed a weak smile. “You're one of Twilight's friends, aren't you? I can feel it.”
The yellow pony blinked and stammered, lifting one hoof as if to back away. “Yes. I'm Fluttershy. I'm... I'm worried that something's happened to her.”
“Her spirit is wandering,” said Cadence. “Separated from her body, and yet her body lives. I felt it in my dreams. Her heart still beats, waiting for her to return to it. But she will never find her way without guidance. I must go to her.”
“What are you saying?” the pony squeaked.
The zebra frowned and grasped another pile of medicine. “Delusions from your fever,” she said. “Princess Cadence, you must endure.”
Before Fluttershy could express her surprise to the zebra's reveal, Cadence lifted a hoof and touched the pegasus' face. “Thank you so much for saving me,” she said, “but it is not me who needs to be saved. I've failed everypony so many times. But I cannot fail her. You must listen closely."
She looked between her two saviors and drew a labored breath, feeling the stickiness still coating her lungs. “The changelings are still within Canterlot, and their queen has taken my place. You must warn Shining Armor before it is too late.”
Fluttershy scraped her hooves. “The changelings... I can't do it. Not again. Why would this Shining Armor even believe me?”
Princess Cadence closed her eyes and coughed up a gob of something black. “My body will be the proof,” she whispered. Tears rolled from beneath her eyelids as she laid back against her bed. “Twilight needs me.”
“You can't!” cried Fluttershy. “Don't give up, not now. Not after making it this far.”
“Sweet pony,” said Cadence, “you will see Twilight Sparkle again. I promise.”
Then she stopped fighting. She left behind her beloved and her kingdom, leaving its fate in the hooves of Twilight's friends. She left behind her sorrow and her hope and let the poison and the wounds consume her. She left the sound of crying behind her and instead of darkness she saw golden fields and a million sparkling lights.
Discord
The sky darkened and twisted with the color of magic as Discord wrought all the energies of that realm into his own purpose. Black came to mean white, cold came to mean heat. Death became life. The very polarities of the fabrics that held the universe together undid themselves at his whims. He seemed impossibly large and yet impossibly small at the height of his power, his frantic determination all that kept him concentrating long enough to maintain the effort.
Twilight Sparkle's body grew warm. Her heart beat. But still she hung limp in his arms, Her eyes would not open. Her body would not respond.
“Wake up, please wake up... Twilight Sparkle, wake up!” Discord howled. He expected the Pale Mare to stop him, to rebuke his actions, but she did nothing to intervene. To her, the very idea was impossible. There was no reason for her to act.
"You give her life," she said, "or what you would call life. But that is not what makes a pony, is it?"
But the impossible, the unknowable, that was his to define. He strained his mind and his magic until he felt the very edge of reality tugging at his body. He did not know which would tear apart first. He did not care.
And yet it seems that there is one rule I cannot defy, he thought, digging a fang into his lip. But I must. I must do this.
Cadence
Nothing hurt. Not even the ache of departing Equestria. Cadence knew that there was something more important for her to do.
If this is what awaits us at the end, then we have nothing to fear...
If fear did not move her, then it was wonder that drew her onwards. A brilliant openness lit up the distance and souls of all sorts wandered towards it. She soon found her hooves moving as well. The moment she felt the presence of the beyond, she knew that it was where she was meant to go. She broke into a gallop and went towards the light with urgency and desperation.
Only the music of Twilight's heartbeat in her head caused her to hesitate.
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight moved through the light until it almost consumed her. A sun more radiant than she could ever imagine rose from all directions, not searing her vision but flooding her with a calm she'd never known before. Just another step and she would have reached it and gotten a glimpse of what lay beyond it.
But somepony grabbed her first.
The sun streaked back and the space remained still as Twilight turned to see who had stopped her, finding herself face to face with Cadence. The princess smiled and threw her hooves around Twilight and squeezed, body or none.
“Cadence?” said Twilight, her eyes widening. “If you're here, then that means you're...”
“I'm afraid so,” said Cadence. “But it's alright.”
“I know,” said Twilight, looking back over her shoulder at the sea of souls and the infinite fields. “I didn't think it would be, but when I got here, I understood. This is the way it's supposed to be.” She hugged Cadence in return and laughed. “We can go together, and then we'll meet everypony again.”
But her childhood friend shook her head and gave her a gentle tug. “It's not supposed to be this way,” she said. “Can't you feel the beating of your own heart? Your body lives. So many are waiting for your return.”
When Cadence said it, she felt it again: the distant thrumming of sound and heat that seemed somehow innate to her senses. But again her gaze turned towards the infinite sun. “The realm of the living is no longer for me,” she said. “Maybe things didn't turn out for the best. But Equestria will continue on.”
“I'm not so sure about that,” said Cadence. “You and Discord set out on a journey to restore balance to our land, but things are spiraling out of control. If you cannot complete your journey, there might not be an Equestria for much longer.”
Twilight stamped her hoof. “But I'm so close. So close to the truth of our entire existence! Past, present, and future. So close to what lays beyond, and I can already feel how wonderful it is.”
“That will be waiting for you,” said Cadence, stroking her mane. “Waiting for us both. It will never go away. It's a promise between you and all that is. Please, Twilight. We need you.”
I was almost there. A place of pure love and happiness... Twilight stared for what seemed forever at the sun. Then she turned away, even as the veil of eternity fell back upon her soul.
“I can feel it,” she said, “but I don't know where to go.”
Cadence brushed a wing over her and took the first step. “I will show you the way.”
Discord
In the end there was no great music, no magical explosion, no sudden gasp of breath. One moment Twilight hung lifelessly, and in the next moment the spark returned to her, her amethyst set to glow again. She stirred to life within Discord's arms. The Pale Mare opened her mouth but said nothing, only staring as Discord defied the most primal laws of the universe.
Their eyes met, Twilight looking as if she'd just awoken from a long sleep and Discord's tears now falling uncontrollably. They said nothing. They did not need to. He hugged her tight and only thought to leave that moment when he noticed another pony beside them.
The shade of Cadence shimmered into being. Discord set Twilight on the ground and watched as she ran to the princess. Twilight tried to embrace her but her hooves sunk right through Cadence's figure, leaving ripples of light and warmth in their wake. Twilight sat and hung her head, on the verge of tears herself. But Cadence encircled her with a wing.
“I will be with you,” she said, just above a whisper, “until the very end.”
They were so drawn in by Twilight's return that only the Pale Mare could see the sky above them shiver, and somewhere beyond the blue, the first stars went out.
Thank you for all the kind comments. As well as the critical ones, and the silly ones. I have been reading them! And making this delay as long as it was was not an act of aggression, I swear. I'm actually at my parents' house right now! Have been for the holidays and junk. Writing time has been... slim.
Time is something worth discussing, actually, but I will probably discuss that more once this is wrapped up.
This chapter. My poor heart is breaking. In so many ways. Roller coaster of emotions, even. The perspective switches were very well done I think. Pardon me. It's tears time. ;(
And Discord finds himself victorious over death itself, Everypony lives.
Shouldn't this have, like, a dark tag or something?
Damn, now I can't stop thinking about Rose.
1902970
I wondered about this from even before I started writing. I asked folks, friends and strangers. The consensus was 'no.' The fantasy-adventure genre often has its darker moments, but that's not what the story is about. It's not what is at the end of the tale. If it were, I would have tagged it way in the beginning. Spoilers? I guess, in the sense that you can be fair sure that things will be alright in the end.
Maybe. I could just be a ripe bastard and throw the Dark tag on when I check this complete.
There's kind of a great (sort of meta) speech on this in the Lord of the Rings (and I think it's handled differently in the books vs. the movies... Sam gives it in The Two Towers in the movies I think) but I'm reluctant to invoke such an iconic headstone of fantasy when talking about my own work. Just feels... arrogant.
So Cadance gave her life to return Twilight's? Shining will be so conflicted, I'm so conflicted
And Twilight Lives! All will be well!
oh crap did they break the universe.
So Cadence, critically wounded, gives up the fight, and thus goes and brings Twilight back to her freshly restored body. That Twilight has returned seems to have some serious cosmological implications...
Still a bit pissed about Cadence though... She hardly deserves this fate, and poor Shining Armor. She fought hard to preserve Equestria and then this happens? Not happy.
Alicorns may experience death differently than normal ponies ...
her death may be a different kind of trigger that only alicorns experience.
This chapter actually touched me deep down. Not much does that. Congratulations!
SHIT. STARS ARE GOING OUT. FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-!!
The alicorn theorist in me wants to make Twi the alicorn of stars lol
Stars going out?
QUICK
SOMEONE GET THE DOCTOR OUT OF THE PANDORICA
When Chrysalis get's found out in full, there's going to be another power vacuum! Changelings everywhere. Nightmare Moon's trapped in the moon (maybe?) Princess Celestia is still nowhere in sight, and Discord's just blown a hole in reality. So in short, shit be wack yo!
So, this chapter worked conceptually for me. I liked it. But I feel like your words frequently failed to adequately develope the concept. I mean, conceptual feels are one thing (and can be quite powerful - Feanor's story in the Silmarillion is entirely conceptual feels), but turning them into immediate feels where the text forces tears from the reader is another thing entirely.
-Put us more fully in Cadence's head in the moments leading up to the sacrifice. Let us feel with her, not just at her. Add some internal conflict (nopony wants to die, after all). Stretch the moment - give it poignancy.
-I'd also do a similar treatment to Twilight's decision to turn away from the light. The audience should be conflicted about the choice, not just know that Twilight is.
-Possibly could give us a stronger connection to discord, but I think it would be distracting.
So, good map, but you need to explore the territory more.
-Unrelated to feels: give us some specific details to latch onto when describing weird or unfamiliar surroundings. Its all fine to say stuff like 'color is heat', but it doesn't carry the descriptive impact of 'Cherry blossoms, caught in the the swirling winds, became marshmallows which burst into flame in the draconequus's presence, and were then speared on the unusually frog-like tongues of passing antelopes when they reached a perfection of golden brown.' Or, you know, something else strange and hyper-specific. A similar (although more mundane) treatment of Cadence waking up in Zecora's cottage would be appropriate. Don't just tell us its in a hut with generic things, give us a few specific details that Cadence latches onto.
That was pretty epic.
... *spit-take* wait stars going out alicorn is dead Twilight Sparkle will be an alicorn ... either that or I've forgotten a plot point since I haven't been rereading the old chapters lately. Or it could even be a Final Countdown to GTFO of the afterlife.
Uh oh, I imagine breaking the universe will have horrible repercussions.
1903451 *Alondro pops out of the engine room* Sorry! Blew a fuse there! *pops in a new one and the stars flick back on* There we go!
(Equestria is just a giant stage! And the stars are just lights in an impossibly high ceiling! And giant robots battle for the fabric of reality! But it's all just some girl's dream and nothing mattered at all!) Yeah... still ticked off about the multitudes of nonsense that was the ending of "Big-O".
Gah! This chapter has good and bad all wrapped up together, I don't know what to think.
1903101 I agree completely. For the time being I'm going to assume that since Discord & Cadence broke the rules and apparently the universe by bringing Twilight back, Cadence may not be permanently lost either. This may be wishful thinking.
1903101;1903846;1903196;1904405
Don't worry, I'm fine. Alicorns don't die, they just respawn.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
1902967
Not yet... We still have a certain pink Alicorn to bring back from beyond the brink before Discord can claim that battlecry.
1903044
Either yes, or Celestia is about to show up. Your guess is as good as mine as to which.
1903814
Eeyup, Big O was awesome, but that ending was basically the anti-Evangelion. Anti-Wolf's Rain, too. Weird sh!t happens, but the good guys manage to not die this time.
1903044
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1904352 lol yep
1902967
Cadence is dead. "Everypony lives" is kind of... y'know.
This story definitely needs a "Dark" tag.
Endure and rever dont really rhyme but I can forgive that writing for Zecora's a bitch.
*fever
This chapter is so wonderful. If your going to have death it might as well be epic.
1903627
The devil is in the details, isn't it? Hah, you sound enough like my professor it's a little disturbing. He'd probably kick my flank up and down over some of this stuff. But hm... criticism is refreshing. I'll try to find the time to go back and touch this up, though I suppose now the cat is out of the proverbial bag.
1904473
Dark as a tag tends to be reserved for incredibly grim stories. And I guess some scenes could be considered mildly horrific (a lot of fantasy has these) but being only a couple scenes and lacking anything extremely graphic. . . I did however rate this story as teen, which while ambiguous does serve similar warnings.
1904473 1902970
But if you and other folks want to see something I would consider dark, I'm working on a one-shot which will actually be tagged as Dark. Coming eventually.
1904343 "Wolf's Rain" was a strange ending. The whole death-rebirth thing. I got the symbolism, that they were now appearing in our world, meaning that our world was going to die now... whatever. I've always been annoyed by metaphorical endings.
The problem with Big-O was you had all this set-up, so many clues pointing to this being some massive coverup and the whole world is a life-like stage, and they finally get close to what seems the discovery... and then it all switched suddenly to being the dream of this secondary character who only showed up about half-way through the series and was mainly irrelevant for most of the time.
Basically, it made EVERYTHING about the plot up to that time completely pointless. Not to mention feeling like it just came out of nowhere.
It just felt like a total cop-out ending thrown together because they didn't know how to tie up all the loose ends.
"Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, EVERYBODY LIVES!"
~The Doctor, The Doctor Dances
1904473
I agree with the earlier statement that, while there are dark elements to this story, it is definitely not dark in nature. Therefore the ark tag would be inappropriate.
Watching a bit of the doctor there?
Something about the darkness?
Count the shadows, maybe?
1917524
Sorry im not that smart...
I actually completely forgot about Past Sins when I posted that comment...
Sadness for Cadence, happiness for Twilight....NNgh, can't take it, this fic makes my heart hurt too much!
1952596
You butted in on an old argument that was already over. For shame.
Anyway, Luna was weak. Doesn't matter how strong someone is, they have their weaknesses. During Luna's period of weakness, she allowed herself to become corrupt/possessed. Meanwhile, Celestia's gone all this time, bearing all the hardship and loneliness without falling to the same madness.
The case makes itself. Luna goof'd, and Celestia is practically so far removed from the concept of normality in that sense that she might as well be a celestial deity than a terrestial one. Her willpower is beyond comprehension. Luna's was normal, but only weak when compared to her sister's.
1952630
This makes me laugh like a madpony, because reasons. Updates Monday (maybe super late Monday for me), news tomorrow.
1953253
I'm going to bite you if you spite me somehow. Dx
At first I thought Discord would pull a Crowning Moment of Awesome and Punch out Cthulhu or something to reclaim Twilight.
And then you had to go and kill Cadance
Discord: YES!!! **Celebrates his victory**
1964203 I almost forgot about that. But it reminded me a bit of the new Doctor Who shows.
... Wow... just... wow...
That was the very first thing I felt inside when I read this chapter.
It is especially fitting that I read this chapter on Easter, for as it is said that Jesus rose from the dead for all of us on this day, so did Twilight return for all of Equestria. The sacrifice and promise of Cadance... there hath no greater love.
Well...it looks like Discord is the
Follow da princess she knows da wae.