aww, and here I was hoping for a Highlander explanation...

My God.............Well Written and an original concept..........TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

P.S. MOAR NAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

That mindfuck ending...

Love it! :D

So, is Princess Celestia going insane?

NUUU

Such brutal denial of happiness. Here I was, thinking it was a little sad one-shot that ends with Celestia waking up and being grateful and happy. BUT NO, it's Groundhog Day all over again and she's still wandering the desert of Equestria.

That being said, I'm faving this.

Weird, someone disliked it. They must be a Luna fan.

Really liked the ending to this.

Well, from what I can decipher regarding well-written literature, is that is is meant to instill a curiosity in the reader, to edge them towards a further plain of understanding or to make them reconsider their boundaries of reality. To make them think, to effect them on a deeper level then to simply read a story and to move on. If the reader is affected, if they are plagued by the thoughts of your prose through his or her daily routines, and find themselves considering and reconsidering the ramifications of your version of reality, then you're job as an author is as good as accomplished.

You, my dear friend, seem to have done just that. Damn you, I say, damn you.

Seriously, I was hoping for a happy ending, and it was really slow close! Then you just snatch it away. Granted, this ending is much more applicable, but still! Anyway, keep up the good work.

Read this while listening to Castle of Glass by Linkin Park.

I was full out crying after the reversal at the end Is immortality a blessing or curse? Happiness or suffering?

>>854473854473 only the end of the Highlander's sword knows the true answer. Wasn't this story great though?

Wow...just wow...A apocalyptic world with Celestia, the only survivor...

I.Am.Speechless.

So wait, Luna is just as immortal isn't she? What happened to her? Also I'm assuming the final scene is part of her tragic cycle, any clarification on this?

Yay, questions.

Edited for spoilers.

>>854520854520 thats an interesting point oh that makes me sad

Reminds me of the ending of (spoilers) Believing Stories. Completely mysterious and crazy!

>>854520854520 I'll PM you the answer to the questions, as I'm attempting to keep the comments spoiler free.

That is all.

Favorited with extreme prejudice.

I know someone else did something similar with a story called "Waiting", with both Celestia AND Luna. It goes on with the premise that "Immortality doesn't just mean losing every pony close to you. It also means watching the world crumble to dust.". I read it not long ago, it's a rather bleak and nihilistic story.

Your's equally well done in the way it conveys helplessness and torment of having to endure eternally while the rest of the world die and crumbled to dust, especially when it happens to be the person's fault it was so. I felt sorry for this version of Princess Celestia. Overall, brilliant!

>>855244855244

Was a great many eons before the writing of Waiting. Might could fit this story into that time period with a bit of interpretation on the Luna part and some finagling otherwise and have a more complete headcanon.

I.... I... Wow... Talk about Tragic as in Tragically Tragicly tragic. There are 4 tragics and that's bad

>>854992854992

I was just thinking the same thing. Only that story is kind of longer and she didn't have to get burned every day.

Amazing story. Truely amazing. This almost made me cry and My Little Dashie didn't phase me in the least.

I've managed to plug up a few things that struck me as being plot holes, but the biggest question I can't get around is simply...why would Celestia DO that? How desperate could she have been? How far gone was she that she couldn't come up with something better? Or was it just that her power was limited when it came to feats of such a grand scale?

This is still an amazing story.

That was an epic story. Seriously, I loved how the story unfolded. I've never felt so bad for Celestia before.

>>856197856197 Moving an entire planet takes a LOT of magic. It would have taken her months to regain that strength, and by then, the world had died. As to why she did it, her armies were faltering before the the combined tide of the changeling and griffon horde. their inexperience in combat proved their downfall, so Celestia decided to smite the advancing armies still attempting to breach the gates of Canterlot, by reigning down upon them, the fury of her star.

>>856880856880

Obviously. My point was that she had to have known that what she was going to do was going to kill everything, not just her enemies.

...hehe. brings new meaning to the term, "scorched earth".

>>857236857236 It was a tough choice to make. Let your citizens get killed by an invading army, or kill the army, and most of your citizens. In this case, it was all of her citizens, and everything else. Truly, it was a 'nuclear' option.

Anyway, I've decided that Luna exiled herself to the moon rather than live on the same planet as Celestia. Yup. That's what I've decided. Specifically, the dark side. It'd be cooler there.

Maybe Luna was burnt like all the other ponies because she wasn't immune to the sun like Celestia.

>>855244855244

Thanks for noting this! Now I have something new to read.

This story is going to haunt me for a long, long time... I have to tell my friends about this..

" - I must go now, to explore the rest of this castle. Perhaps there are still beings other than myself taking refuge in the ruins.  -"

"Submited for your aproval tonight is the story of a single lone suvivor of a dead and deserted world. as you spend the next few nights with this suvivor you  and  her will bolth learn what happened to cause this  destruction and why civilazation is no more. you will also learn why she was spared. here..in the Twilight Zone"

end

"And such is the fate of Princess Celestia. once beloved goddess and ruler of equestria.  haveing mad a tragic mistake during a war gone south she now suffers a fitting fate of tourture and insanaty over all the lives she burned to ash. and it will remain this way for all eternity. i beg you not to take pity on this soul. for this justice is well deserved as decided by the court room of The Twilight Zone.

Now, that is deep.

It brings up an interesting point, too, come to think of it: the reason why Celestia has invested so much time and energy into making Equestria peaceful and happy, and why she is always so kind and benevolent, is because she wishes for her people to survive and flourish for as long as she lives.

When you realize you're immortal, most people follow the same progression as Bill Murray from Groundhog Day: first, deny it and get all existential. Next, fuck around and be reckless and horrible. Next, learn as much as you can about everything. Finally, after exhausting all your options, you realize the truth: when your own life becomes of no concern, the lives of everyone else take priority.

Celestia, after realizing her own lack of mortality, similarly realized that she would much rather make the lives of her subjects as wonderful and happy as possible, rather than indulge herself in things that she will eventually grow tired of and let by the wayside. So the plan, therefore, would be to make sure she can be there for Equestria as long as she lives.

Of course, the world, unlike Celestia, can't last forever. And thus, this story.

And, that, my friends, is how Equestria was made.

>>854216854216 the correct word here is gone. 10,000 years of alone time'll do that to ya.

>>859318859318 I loved the Twilight Zone!   hoof for you! /)

Overcome with such greif Celestia starts becoming a prisoner to her own hallucinations.

Nicely done.

>>857304857304 Actually, considering the sun is basically a massive hydrogen fusion reaction, it was literally a nuclear solution.

SCIENCE!

At first, the tone of the story didn't affect me, but by the end I was terrified. The whole part where you thought it was a dream, with Twilight being so real...

*shiver*

Also, I don't suppose you could PM me the same answers Bairne got...

>>862715862715 Certainly!

Is it possible to both really like and dislike a story?  

On one hand, the mood, the merciless twists, the bleak and hopeless outlook, are all great elements to the story.

On the other hand, I don't like sad ponies

Would it be possible to ask for details concerning your theory about Luna in all this (I'm somewhat fascinated by theories about the nature of the Princesses/Alicorns/whatnot), and why The Vault seemed like a good idea?  

It's not a badly written story, but honestly, if you see this premise once, you've seen it a hundred times.

Celestia ages, Celestia pines for a tiny tiny number of very specific ponies in her vast, vast lifetime, Celestia wishes for death.  The fact that she accidently killed everything is giving her an idiot ball the size of Texas, and the fact that Luna is apparently dead undermines the whole immortal alicorn concept altogether.

>>865573865573 Luna isn't dead. How could she die if she's Celestia's sister?

>>865573865573 As far as originality of the concept goes, I'm sure it has been done before. You'd be hard pressed to find a 100% original plot that didn't borrow in some way or another from a story that has already been written (intentionally or otherwise). Celestia's mistake is part of the tragedy. Just because you're immortal doesn't mean you can't make a snap decision and regret it. Her capitol was about to fall, and she thought she;d have the strength to move the planet back after they'd retreated.

I appreciate the concerns, and hope I cleared some of them up.

I believe this fits in here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvrP79RjS58

Well, kind of, the mood of the song definitely fits.

Wow. That was amazing. I don't know what to say.

Btw could I also get Bairne's answers?

>>865679865679

Why does this statement lead me to believe there's another part to this story we haven't seen? (yet)

If Luna isn't dead, then there are three possible solutions that I can think of as to where she is:

1- She has found her own refuge from the unrelenting sun, wherever that may be.

2- She allowed her body to be burned away hoping for death (hence the scorch mark and faint ash on her balcony), and now exists as pure magic or as living ash. (reminiscent of Death Becomes Her [god, I'm old! DX ])

While less likely, I would not be surprised if the latter turned out to be the case.

Sad Story.

Though I do have a question I'd like to ask. It seems a bit artificial which is I'm guessing is purposeful. After all, everything has become sand dune besides a few ruins of Canterlot as well as a few old relics such as the drawer, the mirror, the decaying furnishings of the rooms, etc.etc. So I have to ask if Celestia purposefully did this to herself some time after the end as a way of punishing herself. After all, if 10000 years really did pass, then there is no way parchment or the other surviving objects are going to last that long unless due to magic. As well as the remaining structures and other things. I'm guessing she did, but it seems just a bit too coincidental, especially since a vital portion of it depends on her insanity as well as certain things being done, like resetting that door or re-locking the drawer. However that is where another question comes up. I'm also guessing Luna is also part of this cycle. Perhaps its really not just imagination as she thinks. Perhaps Luna is actively assisting in the torture and punishment of her sister by assuming the form of her beloved student, stringing her along, resetting the door, re-locking the drawer, etc. etc.

Am I correct in my guessing? I'd appreciate it if you can answer my questions. Thanks.

For a while there I thought this was an "End Times" story of Celestia far in the future, when the sun would have bloated out, and all the ponies would have either died or traveled to a new star. Luna herself would have perished with the moon when it finally entered the Roche Limit and shattered, and even dragons would have perished under the burning of a red giant expanding greedily towards what was once a lush world.

This was a bit more tragic than the mere march of time. I kind of saw the ending coming, things looked too nice after such a terrible horror. You gave me a nice little cry over the fate of the Mane 6 and Spike, as well as Celestia's self-recriminations.

All in all, a great story, if a bit too tragic for my regular tastes. I do hope that Celestia finally dies when the sun expands to engulf the world, so that after her long purgatory, she might find peace, and hopefully forgiveness.

>>855026855026 pleaaaase PM me to, I'm so confused as to Luna

Really loved this fic

OH and I finally read something on my read later list! I'm so proud of myself

>>855070855070 so many laughs

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. you just blew my mind. so sad....so very sad. i was actually hopnig she would kill herself, you know, stab herself in the end or something. thats just rough... great story though, congrats on being awesome.

This is so awesome. I totally did not see that ending coming. That was some serious Nightmare Fuel. That aside, I am all atwitter with curiosity as to what happened to Luna. May I also request for the information? I am betting that she either flew to the moon, or she died in the war and that's why Celestia did the whole burn-everything-with-the-sun thing.

>>855026855026

Me too would like to see your rationalization of Luna's fate.

Sad story, but it didn't get to me as, for example "Eternal" did. Too much, too fast maybe. Not bad, but... What I couldn't let go was the whole level of OOC act that endangering the whole world with moving the planet towards the sun (or the sun towards the planet) is. If Celestia could do that, she wouldn't for no reason. I honestly can't see it. And I normally can see almost any rationalization for fanfics...

Good work anyway :)

>>928978928978 she didn't do it for no reason, she moved the planet to stop the invading armies, because her own forces hadn't fought a war since her fight with Luna 1000 years before the surprise attack, and were losing badly. In a snap decision, she sent them running with some oppressive heat.  

>>855026855026 I would also like to have this answer.

Great story, but after reading the comments I have to ask if you can pm me the luna part.

>>929063929063 The next chap will be from Luna's POV

I to would like a PM as to the answer of the "Bairne" question.

I've read many stories of this ilk before, but I don't recall reading one where Celly was the one who caused it to happen. That's quite an interesting twist on an old style.

>>855026855026

Mind PM'n me about Luna? I'm not sure if she was killed in battle, by the sun, by the sun overpowering the moon, or something else.

Two words: Holy crap. This has to be one of the most tragic yet thought provoking "Celestia outlives everypony she loved" fics out there. I hung on your every word, and for that, I salute you.

>>859318859318 Forgiveness please, but I wish to rewrite that awesome nod to Rod Serling in my own way. I'm such a copycat. x3

"Submitted for your approval: a lone survivor wanders the remains of a dead planet. How and why she has survived for so long, as well as her own identity, have been lost to time. Her search for shelter has brought her to these crumbling ruins on a bald mountain's face. Little does she know that in her efforts to find respite, she is about to cross the threshold into the very heart of the Twilight Zone."

~~~

"Before us now lays not a survivor of a great catastrophe, but a bound prisoner. Celestia, once proud goddess and sovereign of Equestria, remains to weep over the ashes of all she has squandered, and endure the pain of the cruel sun that was once hers to command. She is but a murderer, guilty of hubris born of her love for her kingdom. In answer to Luna's question, it will never end. For Celestia has been tried, convicted, and sentenced to an agonizing eternity in the Twilight Zone."

"Before you, you see a survivor, an immortal trapped in the curse of being such. She searches for what she wants most; life of another. But as she searches, you'll learn what it truly takes to have this curse, and accompany her to the very center of The Twilight Zone."

"Here you have seen the curses of controlling otherworldly matter, and the curses of it never ending. We watched a leader fall to repetitive lunacy in an attempt to save what she could. This curse, and others like it, can be found under 'E' for Equestria, or perhaps 'A' for Apocalypse here ^^in the Twilight Zone."

Because I'm a copy-pony too xD

T-this is just painful. Do you think, perhaps, you could answer a few of my questions? Was Luna the seventh pony? Does it ever end? Or is she banished to bet own personal he'll for what she did?

"They say death comes for everyone. Why has he chosen to ignore me?"

Because he's too busy dealing with some assholes who refuse to die in another universe he likes to call "Final Destination."

>>929396929396 I. Love. Your. Arrangement. The Twilight zone is one of my favorite old shows.

>>855026855026

I'd like some explanation as well, if you please.

So... there's going to be another chapter, even though this is marked complete?

>>929439929439 Mine too, man. ^.=.^

>>928978928978>>929021929021>>929147929147>>929326929326>>929429929429 Luna's point of view is the next chapter. Then one more chapter before we're done.

>>929440929440 Yeah, I marked it complete before I decided to cover Luna.

Oh dear God that twist ending. When I first aw this turning happy, I was thinking "Well, looks like the artist didn't have the heart to kep it da-HOLYSHITINATINCAN!" Seriously, all that effort to make us think it's all a dream, Celestia and all of Equestria are fine. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you had to go and pull THAT at the last minute! From a critic's standpoint fantastic job! From a brony's standpoint, F***! YOU!

Really can't wait to see the next chapter. And I'd really like to know the answers to Bairne's questions as well. However, if they will be answered in the next chapter, just let me know, and I'd prefer to wait.

You troll.  You completely brilliant, amazing troll.

Much loves coming your way.

Reminds me of Casshern Sins.

Oh god this is wonderful. I'm totally looking forward to hearing Luna's point of view. I side with everyone who's thinking she ran away to the Moon after witnessing the death of the entire world. I would further posit that she is just as insane as Celestia, and with one hell of a grudge - assuming, of course, that ten millenniums was not enough to simply erode Luna's rage into nothing.

what happened to luna btw this story is haunting and unforgetable i can only say that many years from now ill be thinking back to celestias madness

Your Loving and Loyal fan Lord Stormy Sky

>>929964929964 How awesome is that anime?

Holy. shit.

I had so many goosebumps when she opened the vault it's not even funny.

And nice turnaround cliffhanger. Definitely looking forward to what you do with this.

O'l Celly going insane? Glad im not witnessing Princess Trollestia, Tryrant Celestia, or even Molestia.

>>855026855026 Could I get a PM on that too?

This is how groundhog day should of ended.

P.S. Please Pm me what happened to Luna.

What happened to woooooonnnaaa?!

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/1c664abe50be70721ce769e8fba5fbab/66862%20-%20artist%3Alittlepirate%20box%20filly%20luna%20sad%20woona.png

Ps. Is there going to be more soon?

>>931904931904>>931968931968>>933825933825 Luna lives. All will be revealed, in chapter 2.

I have read stories that deal with themes of immortality. But this one, is by far, the best. Beautifully written, masterfully executed. Perfect. It's going to be a while before I read something that good again. 10/10. Never stop writing.

>>930917930917

It's pretty incredible, not gonna lie.

There's so little good horror in this fandom, but this, this fits.

oh god. this is just depressing. you could've kept celestia suffering for the first chapter and end it with "she was Celestia; she was the one who killed the world" as a cliff hanger but of course an idea like that is too cliche which is exactly why i'm no writer

This should be the sequel to 'Let's say I killed them all...'

Hnnnng what a mind-hurting ending ... sooo vicious, just when she was finally relieved

It happened to me to have this kind of dreams ... you know, those which when you wake up, you can feel a huge wave of relief in your mind, whispering to yourself "stop over-thinking about it, that was just a dream "

Human expressions cannot account for what I am feeling, so let these ponies illustrate:

Wow, this made me think, now I would probally take up about 6 paragraphs just talking about it but I am just going to cry in a corner for 5 minutes then walk on the beach in the afternoon listening to dust in the wind with that scent that you smell when it rains recently, I live in Florida. You know what? fuck

it I don't want to spend 2 weeks bein depressed over this, I wanna talk this out and maybe talk about some other stuff. I mean, how can celestia do that? Man, atleast make a chapter about the riffon war and maybe a follow up on that story, that could et you a 80% chance to get TWO storys fetured on EQD, don't you want that? If your reading the comments then hear me out, If you make another story then youll get 99% of the audience to favorite two of your stories and that will be more publicity for you and youll b one of the big stories, I'm talking about My Little Dashie! come on man thats big!

It's like.... wow just wow.

Mad props to you sir, this is awesome and gruesome at the same time.

Heh this is the first fic i reread right after finishing it.... seriously this is so depressing yet so beautiful.

Short, slender, well paced and more tragic every time you think about it.

This is the very epitome of an amazing story.

>>857304857304

So I heard you're writing a next chapter ?

>>954902954902 Nope, check the blog.

so amazing...i...i just...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AUUUUGHHHH

>>857304857304

um...excuse me...but, um...is there a new chapter coming out for this story? angel bunny wants to hear more, and i don't want to, um dissapoint him...but you don't have to...if you...*squeak*

>>958631958631 Nope. Check the blog.

>>958883958883

...

...

...

.........oh.

...

...

...

..

>>958883958883

well, it is still an amazing story. i just hoped that celstia would end up fixing the world by finally overcoming her guilt and using the elements of harmony to put things back to the way they were...

I guess I'll never know what happens to Luna.

>>976740976740 she's alive.

You. . .  You. . .  Just. . .  I - I have never been this emotionally affected by a story since the first time I read the original My Little Dashie. . .  You are. . .  I don't even. . .  I - I want to thank you, but I don't find thanking someone for making someone cry a normal thing. . .  Just. . .  Wow.

I just want to give Celestia a hug.

Hol-ee sheeeyitt. Now THAT is some hot......HOT.........SadPorn. Freakin' awesome. So unsurprised to learn the Author is a Twilight Zone fan because this had Rod Serling written all over it.

>>865573865573

Yeah..........I scoffed aloud when I read that line. I understand the "why" is basically a throwaway detail here, but Changeling + Griffon attack on the capital doesn't seem EVEN CLOSE to a dire enough situation to warrant microwaving the planet. I mean, there are nuclear options, and then there are nuclear options you only consider when Cthulhu is at your doorstep. Should've just left the attackers identities a mystery and let the reader imagine what terrible evil warranted crossing the Godzilla Threshold. But whatever, this is a minor bitchy nitpicky bullshit complaint for a fantastic story.

Oh... oh my. You basically had Celestia realise that she had killed Twilight, her most beloved student... THAT HAS GOT TO BURN

That ending...

I...I need a hug...