After his journey through Equestria, the one realm in the Big World where the ponies live, Seabreeze has become a figure of awe and respect among the other Breezies. Much to his annoyance: he just wants to spend some quality time with his family, and he has no desire whatsoever to get roped into so-called adventures. Or so he tells himself.
Once the next Forage begins, he naturally chooses to stay behind and so return to a normal life, free from excitement and terror and dangerous creatures. However, when an intruder rushes into the little village – and is, to everyone's surprise, successfully captured by the Breezies – poor Seabreeze is thrown into the midst of a mysterious and ancient conflict that just screams "ADVENTURE". Things only get worse from there...
Cover Design courtesy of Novel-Idea.
Written as part of National Pony Writing Month 2016.
Do changelings appear in this story?
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Sorry, but no. The title refers to a different hive altogether, as well as a game in the breezie world called Hive Versus Hive. Besides, I would've added the "changeling" tag if they were a prominent part of the story.
Interesting story so far.
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Thanks!
Should be another chapter out either tonight or tomorrow night. Definitely soon.
So, things are coming together for seabreeze. Progress, not malice, hug? Flutterpony burden anyone?
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Oh yes, that was one of the things that I enjoyed about writing this chapter. It shows how the Flutter Ponies are convinced they're doing the right thing, even while they're coming across as greedy and threatening to Seabreeze.
Seabreeze: Breezie of action!
Here's a heads-up for those following this story: it might be a while before I update this one again, though it will be done before the end of the month. In the meantime, I'll be focusing on another project, the details of which will be clarified in my blog post today.
Apologies in advance for the break in the posting routine. Trust me, it will be continued soon, since the draft is finished and I merely need to perform some minor editing first. Until then, enjoy the tenth chapter!
Well, I think you've waited long enough. We're entering the final run now, so I should have the ending published before the start of December. Until then, please enjoy the eleventh chapter.
EDIT: Interesting fact of the day: as of 28/11/2016, this is now the longest Seabreeze story on the site. That said, there are only twenty in total, on a site containing over 85,000 stories. Poor devil doesn't get nearly as much attention as he should.
This looks like a great start to a story and Seabreeze's comment about griffons makes me think that Gabby is among the griffons halping this year which means it is good for Seabreeze to stay home because he wouldn't get along with her.
What thae Flutterpony says reminds strongly of the Ice Warrior from the Doctor Who episode Cold War. Grandmarshall Skaldak had the same philosophy of if you harm one of us you harm us all.
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Wonderful to read something unique. A very good and very successful endeavor.
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Glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.
Actually a really good story. It has excellent world building and reads quite nicely.
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I want to really like this story, but I'm getting quite confused by now. Last chapter some points were unclear--I'd have to go back and skim through it to list them, sadly, since my memory is lousy--but I hoped they'd be cleared up by now; instead I'm only getting more confused. SeaBreeze is clearly on the Breezie side of the portal--he's observing the Breezie sky which he prefers--but something is coming and they're still in that world and trying to stop the something from getting through the portal. Why on earth? I can't tell if he's right at the portal, away from it, in the air above the middle of the Breezie-side pond and watching from there, or what. I'm hoping you answer things like "what are flutter ponies" and "why do they need to be stopped from going through the portal" in the next chapter, because right now I'm quite, quite lost.
Hi there! I quite enjoyed this story, though, like I said, I had some difficulties with it, particularly at the beginning. I don't know if you could get some other eyes on it? I don't trust myself completely right now because I have mono and it's making me tired, sometimes too tired to think clearly. If you could polish it up, though, especially the first couple chapters, but maybe have a good editor look through the rest too, just to make sure everything is in tip-top shape, then I think this ought to be recommended to Seattle's Angels. The concepts and plot of the story seem really unique and I think they have a lot of potential.
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More and more this year, I keep getting the message that some of the material I've written is too opaque or confusing. If nothing else, lots of people have helped me identify a consistent weakness in my writing style.
I'm extremely grateful you at least read it all the way through, (setting my own confusing prose aside
). As for the recommendation... I'll admit I'm not sure. Part of me sees your point about giving it another once-over and a polish, and while I'll admit I don't quite see the problem with the first two chapters, that's almost certainly just personal bias talking.
On the other hand, most of me wonders if it would be better to incorporate the criticism for future projects and let this one stand as a flawed but necessary stepping stone. Sort of a more active and organic way of responding. Or a lazy answer, I guess. But this thing's also been feature on EqDaily, so I think it's had all the best exposure it could get.
Please don't interpret this as a slight on your proposal. I'm prepared to admit it could just be my gut reaction is wrong, (though obviously I currently weigh in favour of my gut reaction). Whatever the case, many thanks for the constructive reply. It does not go unappreciated, believe me.
Some really spectacular world building, just how I like it
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Glad you think so.
A lot of it was inspired by real-world elf and fairy mythology, most obviously the various species that appear in the climax. Thank you for your comment! 