.
. . .
. . . . . .
I blinked. Where was I now? Everything was a big white void. I didn't see anypony else.
I looked down at myself. The claw marks had healed over, though they did leave some recognizable scars. Guess I was going to have to rely on Fluttershy to do the modeling after all. Too bad, all that attention, all those ponies looking at me, it appealed to me, even if it scared 'Shy silly.
Then I noticed, almost passively, that I wasn't quite all there anymore. I was still standing just fine, but one of my wings and part of my hind left leg were turning into little pieces of light before my eyes and floating away, becoming impossible to tell from the white void. It didn't hurt, I don't think I even felt it. I couldn't see my insides where the little bits floated away. Maybe I never had insides, wouldn't surprise me. It was spreading.
Why wasn't I scared? I was dying, wasn't I? Oh right, you had to be alive to die, so it wasn't like I was losing anything by dying in the first place. Or was that last place? Oh well. What could have caused this though?
"Oh right. Stupid me. Guess 'Little-FlutterRage' was right. I'm the daughter of the old man's magic ... and he's about as far from harmony as you can get. So makes sense using an Element of Harmony and getting a full, a point blank blast from the peace and love laser canon would erase me too. Meh. Least I didn't go out with a whimper this time, and the bearers all saw it." I threw back my head and laughed as part of my shoulder dissolved.
"Pst. Good riddance to a farce of a fake existence. Good riddance to nopony who was never anypony, good riddance to something that was never anything."
I laid back on whatever I was standing on, though the view didn't change one bit.
"'Time to be cruel.' Those were the first words I heard when I was born, who'd have thought I'd go out doing the exact opposite? Bet the old man would love that surprise. Oh well, now it's time to not be anything."
"Sorry dear, you're too young to die. You just earned your cutie mark." A hoof gently touched my shoulder.
The white sparkles stopped, then 'scattered' and I was surprisingly whole again. I looked up into Fluttershy's kind and understanding eyes. Fluttershy; the butter yellow, pink maned Pegasus with bright blue eyes, not Princess Gaia the Alicorn, nor the Nightmare. "You haven't even had your Cute-ceañera yet. Do you think you'll pick out a Cute-ceañera Name? Lots of ponies do that during their Cute-ceañera. Should be easier for you, since you don't have any paper work to fill out. Maybe something like Helping Hoof? Like your cutie mark? ...I mean if you really like that name, it's what you'd be called for the rest of your life, so it should be something you like..."
Still laying on my back, I glared at her. "I told you, 'Fluttercruel' might be just a name, but it's all I have and I'm keeping it! And dammit, since when do YOU enjoy torturing others! That was supposed to be my job! I don't have a purpose! I'm just a loose thread for a scheme that fell apart! I don't have a past or future! I'll always just be nothing but a bucking carnival mirror reflection of you! I'll always be exactly the same until you grow old and we die together!" I rolled over on my belly. "Just go away and let me die already." I said sulking, crossing my forelegs. "I'm the one who did this to you. I've earned oblivion. So just let me take my end with some dignity this time."
"No. You're my responsibility. You wanted to teach me. It's my fault for not being able to take the lesson like a mare and acting like a filly. And none of my friends are permanently hurt and I'm fine now. I forgive you."
"You can't forgive something that doesn't exist."
"Ponies who don't exist can't earn their cutie mark. And that doesn't look like a blank flank to me."
I glanced at my flanks, seeing the two hooves. "You'd think I'd get a big mallet or three spiders or something. It's funny, I don't really feel all that different. Where's the big change inside? Where's the ... ya know, 'inner awakening' or whatever?"
"Erm, sorry if I sound too much like Twilight but, uh, ahem: 'There is no grand realization of self. The self simply is.'" Then Fluttershy's voice took on a stern tone, "Now stop all this nonsense about not having purpose and not existing. 'Nothing' couldn't have used the Element of Kindness to wash away the darkness. A pony without a spirit wouldn't fight so hard to save somepony else. A pony without a purpose doesn't earn her cutie mark. A poor reflection of a pony can't earn a unique cutie mark," Then came the softness that was Fluttershy's signature. "And, I have to say, for someone whose not even six months old, earning your cutie mark is something you -really- ought to be proud of." Fluttershy hugged me. "I know I'm proud of you..."
She said she was proud of me. She hugged me. This was ... this was the first time anyone in my life, yes, LIFE, had ever hugged me. Why did it feel so nice? Why didn't I want it to stop? Why did I want Fluttershy to just stay here beside me? What was this feeling? It was all like invisible weights I didn't know were there were just falling away, something that had been holding me in, something that had been caging me.
"I ... I'm free."
"WE'RE FREE!" Corrected Fluttershy with more conviction then she could remember having in her life.
"So ... what now 'Shy?"
"I think there's one last part of me that needs help finding her way back, but that's something only our friends can do. Come on 'Cruel, let's go home."
"I told you not to call-... alright, let's go."
Nice chapter.
Quite nice. Short, but semi-sweet. ;)
879790
Thank you.
You're making me cry dammit!!! Very emotional chapter, well done!
Because this fanfic runs on the tears of My Little Dashie, and the writing of the best dark fic, blended together with a strong serving of philosophy, and injected with an extra degree of irony. This really is beautiful.
I especially like that you kept something in here to tie the the theme together: I'm free. Free of oblivion. Free of the doubt of being "just" a copy. Free of crippling self-loathing. Free to love. Free to cry, free to feel. Free to be you.
This fic, and your previous one, and I'm sure the rest of the series, is an example of why I rutting love fanfiction. This is so well written, has so many feels (my darkness is grumbling quietly to itself I'll have you know thanks to these fics) and i can say that I have enjoyed this wonderful roller coaster ride of awesomeness that is this fic. And its not even over yet!
OMG! A reference to Trixie's Gettin' Back On Her Hooves by Shadow Raikou? That's awesome!!!
881152Prepare your tear ducts
No words. Just, no words. No half-baked jokes, no anger. Just, nothing. Only posting this to keep my streak goin'.
I'm back from the faint... WHAT!?! aw come on another awesome finish to this epic story, man, I wish I could faint again but i can't oh well
Helping Hoof... I see what you did there, I see what you did there, a reference to Getting Bac On Your Hooves, a Trixie story, much like this one, OK, this may not be Trixie centrixc but this has more important Trixie then I've seen in most fics bar the Lunaverse.
Heh.
Oh dear...
Peace And Love Laser CanNon. Also, Imma steal that.
No, you earned your cutie mark, you ARE a somepony.
I suppose so, yes.
Helping Hoof. Clever.
You're like a petulant child.
She's got a point.
I'm fairly certain it doesn't work that way.
Daaw. And she does have a point.
And you're back and better than ever!
Good question.
This is kinda cute.
(Well, this was a rather short chapter, it took me what, 5 minutes to do this? 10 maybe? Barely much time at all really, oh well, once my Internet works again, I can start working on Episode 20. In the meantime, this is ShadowLDrago, signing off.)
And now the birth of my OTHER favorite redeemed character. FLUTTERCRUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
No deep message in this comment, or smart sounding one at least.
Happy Cruelty and Kindness....uh....made up?....they something'd I guess.
Now to see the wind down.
You know, when I saw that "Pearl Necklace" was five parts, my first assumption was that this was the big climax. I suppose I was wrong, heh. It was the epilogue instead. Also, 'Cruel is awesome. I wonder if she is still a ghost thing or if all that magic had some positive side effects? Well, only one way to find out!
9691948
Indeed.
7233404
:-) I wish I'd given her a better name.
Welcome to white space. You've been living here as long as you can remember.
11212986
Don't get the reference.