- Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 4th, 2023
Penmore
"If you only write when you're inspired you'll be a fairly decent poet, but you'll never be a novelist."
Penmore
Joined 3rd Jun, 2013 ·
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- Ron Jeremy Pony · 2.9k words · 49 3 · 1.2k views
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It was good, your story has some nice moments and the character are pretty well written.
You show some good points on how you tell a story but I have a problem with what you tell. I find that this seems rather pointless. The issue doesn't appear important because I think you didn't build up it enough. We don't spend enough time with Pinkie to really be concern by her emotions. Moreover, the solution comes easily, Fluttershy make a call to her friends and voilà, they have a party, they have fun and Pinkie is happy again. It seems too simple for not having Pinkie gathering her friends before. Or maybe it was that simple in fact and Pinkie didn't do it because she was too afraid to get another negative answer but we don't know about any of that (at least, it is what I think and what I understood).
Anyway, it was still enjoyable and it still deserves an upvote because some moments were nice.
7662775
Thank you for the feedback. I'll definitely take your words into consideration when working on future stories. Thank you for liking the story. Have a great day!
Your ability to show a more venerable pinkie is worth an award, she's a hard character to write without making her look like a sociopath (*cough* marshmallows explode when you throw them *cough*)) well done
And isn't anyone gonna touch on the fact that pinkie has ADHD
7671184
Thank you for the praise. I tried to put her in the area of how she felt during Party of One. Which, from my understanding, meant she was heavily fearful of being alone. As for the ADHD part I think that's a good point. I might work on a story with that as a focus in the future so thank you in advance if I happen to work on it.
7671525 say wanna do a story trade sometime
I wanna do one but I wanna write a couple more stories so u can get a feel for my style
7671604
Never did one before so I'm entirely sure what that constitutes.
7672137
to quote the rarley sticky Nightwalker
It's like a gift exchange. You're making the story for the other author as a gift to them. Typically it features their characters or is set somewhere they write, or involves your stuff if they really like it and request it.
7672430
Sounds interesting but I'd have to find time to read your stuff. I'm a bit busy these days.
I've actually been feeling rather down about the lack of excitement in my life. And I came across this fic. Guess that's what depression does to you.