Pinkie Supports Pharmercy
Pinkie Loves Bacon Bits
An absurd Derpibooru-inspired story.
Sunset jerked her head up hard and fast, pulling her chin off her soft chest and blinking sleep from her eyes. Her neck was starting to complain from all the up and down. The form in front of her on her small dining room table was still mostly incomplete. The ink of her name and basic contact details long dry. She still needed to fill out her classes and certificates for the review board to look over.
At least the section about her work history would be quick.
“Wiiiiizzzzarddd.” Sunset grogged out in a croak. She sounded like those human elders that smoked. That made her grin for a moment, but truth be told, her throat felt like ten miles of dry creekbed.
Sunset pushed herself up and shuffled into her tiny kitchenette to grab a glass of cold tea. She was really feeling the caffeine withdrawal from not attending the usual session with the girls. The sugar and stimulants normally had her buzzing around, knocking out job applications and college entrance forms like dominos, in between karaoke and rounds of video games. But she promised herself that she’d cut back.
She needed her brain cells after all, and the…incidents...were more than a little worrisome.
Sunset downed her stale tea with only a little gagging and stretched out the kink developing in her back. “I need to wake up more…” Sunset glanced at the glowing runes on her microwave. The girls would likely still be awake, she could try calling one of them. “No...if they are still up, Rainbow’s probably taking up everyone’s attention to play that shooter game.”
Sunset stretched again, groaning tiredly as she cast a look out into her living room. The game was pretty popular, she even owned her own copy and a gamebox to play it on. Now that she thought about it, she could fire it up, get on her online account and go a few rounds with the others on the headset.
She grinned and tossed the dregs of her tea into the sink. “Wake up and spend time with friends having fun.”
A few minutes later—after changing into her PJs—Sunset’s TV blazed in her dark living room, as explosions and glowing projectiles flew in every direction except at the enemy team.
“Um...excuse me, but could we get everyone on the payload...if that’s alright…?”
“Hey, where did that ninja guy go? Ah still got five bullets with his name on it!”
“Rainbow, darling, you are the tank, please stay with the team!”
“I have a mech that flies, Rarity, I’ll stay with the team when you learn how to keep the teleporter up.”
“Weeee! Aw crap, I missed the ledge by this much.”
“Just rewind time again.”
“Oops...it’s on cooldown!”
“Here they come again!” Sunset barked into the mic of her headset, lining up her crosshairs on the lead enemy and releasing a barrage of rockets. The character on her screen swerved, dodging her attack and hitting her square in the tactical visor with their counter attack.
Sunset grumbled under breath as the screen switched to show her killer’s view for a moment before returning her to the team’s base. “This match is a wash.”
“We can still win this!” Rainbow Dash’s voice chimed in through Sunset’s speakers. “We’ve just got to get around this choke point and we’re home free. Everybody form up on me, I’ll..ugh...stay on the ground this time.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a sec—”
“Sunset! Change to heals, we’ll need it for the last push.”
“Roger that.” Sunset grinned. She wasn’t very good at these types of games, but any character that allowed her to damage or heal without having to aim made her feel at least competent at it. A moment later she was charging out the door of the base, staff in hand and ready to engage a golden stream of goodness on whichever of her teammates needed it.
She rounded the corner where the payload was sitting and locked onto her nearest comrade to glide swiftly over the small chasm between her and them. “Support has arrived!”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Sunset felt two fuzzy arms reach around her from behind as something warm and soft pressed into her back. Two small, pink, hooves cupped her chest, lifting her breasts up to the point it looked like her shirt was going to explode from the strain.
A loud, happy squeal rang in the ear that wasn’t covered by her headset. Sunset jerked forward, throwing herself onto the floor and sending her controller flying. The pink hooves held on tight and Sunset suddenly found herself on her hands and knees, being ridden by the tiny pony that had come to haunt her.
The hooves let go and Sunset looked back to see the pony sitting on her back, her game controller in its hooves, with a determined look on its face. She glanced back at her TV in time to see her character reach and then save her team with a few quick bursts of healing. With only seconds to spare the payload inched over the line, winning the match.
“Way to go, Sunset!”
“Nicely done.”
“We’re all support now!”
“No...um...only Sunset was playing that class.”
“Well, Ah supported with my bullets.”
Sunset blinked a few times while the game played a quick replay of the last minute team save her character had pulled off. She heard the pony on top of her bray in satisfaction, rocking gently when it jumped down next to her. She stared into those blue eyes, her mouth hanging open as she tried to jumpstart her brain.
“Meep! Meep!”
The pony smiled, stuck out its tongue and jumped into the air with all four hooves kicking so fast they were a blur. When it hit the ground and took off into the shadows of her apartment, Sunset swore it left behind a candy scented dust cloud.
She didn’t move for a full minute after that, the next match already starting without her. Eventually she picked her jaw up off the floor and sat back onto her heels, the game controller clattering down off her back to the carpet. When her brain finally finished its reboot process, Sunset wondered how much an exorcism would cost.
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I'm surprised it took this long for someone to do this story.
7852661
I would have started spitting it out earlier, but I had stuff to deal with over the holidays.
Aww
Needs a sex tag. For the characters,
RD- D.VA
Applejack - McCree
Rarity - Symmetra
Sunset - Soldier 76
Pinkie - Tracer
Didn't pay attention to whom Fluttershy is playing as.
I can't wait for more! This is funny! ^^
Pervy Pinkie Pie was hilarious in Alicorn Switcheroo, Pervy Pinkie Pie is hilarious in this
7853228
rs1272.pbsrc.com/albums/y392/DoctorLime/Gifs/Disbelief%20Shock%20and%20WTF/Super_disbelief_gif_zps0a2c312b.gif~c200
There's no such thing as over shipping.
Tiddies.
SOMEONE had to say it.
This should be really intresting. I can't wait for the next chapter and more boobs!
7855600
This guy gets it!
i137.photobucket.com/albums/q237/FuzzyFurvert/Image%20Macros/160279__UNOPT__safe_pinkie-pie_artist-sweetsing_zps61007fa1.png
7855858
My wife will have you know that she has a dozen or so soft sleepytime "sports" bras.
flask.com/wp-content/uploads/dos-equis-most-interesting-guy-in-the-world-300x300.jpeg
7855852
But wait, there's more!
i.ytimg.com/vi/9CMBXFtMgMk/maxresdefault.jpg
derpicdn.net/img/2015/9/27/989542/large.jpg
derpicdn.net/img/2015/5/16/896969/thumb.jpg
4.bp.blogspot.com/-S5TwQPV_99g/TzG8LiCYNqI/AAAAAAAAeEU/FaPc_k2rIzU/s1600/127026+-+artist+chimicherrychonga+crossover+fluttershy+looney_tunes+pinkie_pie+rainbow_dash+rarity+road_runner+twilight_sparkle+wile_e_coyote.png
7852750
Shy's line about staying on the payload sounds more like Jack to me. Sunset's rockets made me think she was Phara, then she switched to Mercy.
7856879
Soldier makes sense with both the barrage and not having to aim parts.
7866648
But Soldier's barrage is still a machine gun, isn't it? Phara is known for her rocket barrage.
The title is another clue. PharaMercy, which is the popular Phara/Mercy ship, and Sunset plays Phara, then switches.
7867237
I will admit that makes sense. And with soldier I was referring to the helix rockets.
7855929
How dare you mention my unmentionables?!
7871341
Because I love you. Also to make a point.
*looks at Shimmy's natural bacon mane*
Why does she switch to Mercy? Because "HEROES NEVER DYE!!!1!!!11!!!ONE!!!"
I bet the enemy Reaper would have something to say to that, and that would be "Dye! Dye! DYE!!!1!!!"
This is why Mayor Mare can never be a true hero. But she can be a true villain if she tries.
7856879
I kinda wish she had held back on Phara's "eat a bajillion dicks" rocket barrage ulti so Pinkie could've used Mercy's "HEROES NEVER DYE1111!!!One!!!1!" for play of the game, for the Shimmy's friends are true heroes who will never dye (that one time Fluttershy went a bit goffiks to model for Rarity don't count and dyed her hair black don't count cuz it wasn't all of it and still had pink in it).
The play of the game should've been Rarity getting hooked and then exploded by the duo of Junkrat and Piggy, then kills showing up on her screen as the kill room she shoved all her turrets into did its job. Or Pinkie quickly stealing all of Shimmy's "eat a bajillionteen dicks!!!!" rocket barrage kills, saving the enemy team from being exploded to death and instead dying to little light pellet thingies, because the art of making things dye is competitive. Err– I mean die.
<_<
>.>
They should've been playing Warzone on Halo 5.
"We can still destroy the enemy core!"
Yep. Gotta love Palmer.
Hahahaha, oooh... I like it.
Hehe, a pink roadrunner. Good childhood memories.^^
I don't know which, but it'll be shooty. Of that I am certain.