Drako Moon
Joined 29th Feb, 2012 ·
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Nice start, I'll keep an eye on this one.
7656518 Thanks. Drako and I both have worked hard on this and it's only the beginning of what's to come. I hope you like the next chapter. It's coming soon.
7656787 Well, I look forward to it.
I'll see how this story come along, might be my favorite depending on how it turns out.
I'm about ~40min into it. Like it so far. :D
Couple things I've noticed while reading, you often use "site" instead of "sight". Like when something is in sight. Site is a location while Sight is visual.
For the line, "In a panic I wrapped the machete in my magic and started to rip the machete out of his mouth." In my opinion, I feel like replacing the second "the machete" with "it" would make it come together better. Since you already referenced the item once, you don't need to do it again.
The other thing, the first "Dear Diary" is spelled Dairy instead. :P
Loving it so far. :D
Hey guys. Just to let you know I went and fixed the issues Plagen mentioned in chapter 2 and I've also gone through and re-edited the entirety of chapter 1 there shouldn't be any issues with it. I'll be going through and checking for errors and whatnot in the other chapters too. Enjoy the story.
Alright guys, all the chapters have been reviewed and edited by yours truly. There shouldn't be any more errors. If there are feel free to leave a comment or send Drako or myself a direct message.
Yo, just finished this chapter. Found a few errors:
"most of the Rangers here will shoot you on site" - site should be sight.
“You need rest and so do it, that’s final.” - Pretty sure you guys meant "so do I"
8106998 thanks buddy, I'll get it fixed, hope you liked the chapter
Fixed
This story feels really simular to fallout 3 especially with the disappearing parent and the protagonist's friend being the overseer/overmare son or daughter.
8121258 I'll admit that is part of where the idea came from for the disappearance of Shadows mother, but Balefire being the son of the Overmare was just an idea I had for later in the story at the time I had forgotten about that part from fallout 3
I'm really enjoying this story so far, keep up the good work you two.
I have a question, when does this story take place compared to the original Fallout Equestria? Or are you going to reveal that later in the story?
8242669
It takes place a bit before Littlepip and Blackjack get out out of their stables.
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I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Drako and I have put a lot of work into this and so has Plagen Shiki reading it on YouTube.
8242669
The original Fallout Equestria is about 200 years after the end of the war. If this is 75 years after the war, I'd call that more than "a few years earlier"
8242669
Our story starts a few weeks before littlepip or blackjack leave their stables so it's around the same time
greed for the win
I'm enjoying this, but it's VERY poorly written, so I can't decide whether to give it a like or spam the dislike button on multiple accounts until I'm satisfied
8242669
There's an obvious reference to that in Homage's first Courier Mare broadcast. She says to steer clear of ponyville because of slavers the first day of shadow's adventure, and if you'll remember, in FoE, the first thing Little Pip does is run into slavers in ponyville. Hope that helps
Kkat doesn't really mind people making spin-offs of her story, so I don't think it was necessary to ask her.
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We did it out of respect and also we technically need permission to use Kkats characters. If we were to use the characters without Kkat's permission we could have the story taken off the internet because of copyright infringement.
I have called this ending since i've learned of envy and have so been wait for her to snap like this! so much hype for the monster that was born today! =)
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I’ve always loved hype in a story and drawing things out lol.
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I don't know if this was already asked but what stories do you consider to be cannon for Falling Shadow?
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Only the Original FoE and Project Horizons because we’ve asked both writers if we could and they are the only two I’ve read
poor shadow this is gonna be hard for her
i cant wait for the next chapter i hope dosent lose herself in what pride has done and may discorde turn him into a doll or somting horride i know it a terrible thing to have happend to silver snip
Oh my god! This chapter was good but I'm a bit upset she didn't fully lose herself in a blood rage with morning but like how it turned out. I do have to wonder what happened to morning? Is she gone or is she still there but very, very weak at the moment
i feel like you super rushed the ending of this chapter. While shadow has a spur of steel in her chest, her friends are yelling at her instead of helping.
It doesn't flow well.
gotta love cliff hangers now i cant wait for the next chapter
Back to Stable 28. This story just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait
Oh.
I also have an OC named Shadow Star.
Now I want to read this.
Can anyone guess how long this story is away from completion?
I don't want to be sucked into a good story just for it to go on a permanent hiatus. *cough* Heroes *cough*
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This story won’t be done for a while and about the hiatus thing, Drako and I won’t do that to you guys. The next chapter should be ready to post soon. I just finished it and now it’s gotta be edited and proof read. Also thank you for reading.
HUZZA MY THEORY WAS CORRECT SHADOW WAS THE FOAL!!!!
8807652
Careful with the spoilers there.
Surprise after surprise, man I love this story. Drako and Stardust, keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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You don't have to wait. it's right there ^^. I just posted it, hope you enjoy.
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
yay finaly overbitch is gonna get what she deserves
8811696
Whatever your favorite anime voice actors would sound like. At least thats what I imagine when I write and read our characters. For instance I imagine Night Stalker sounding like Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist and The Queen sounding like the singer Dolly Pardon(Obviously not an anime voice actor but still a good comparison)
8811696
Personally I Imagine Shadow sounding like Haruhi Fujioka From Ouran Host Club lol, Wingnut I think of Alphonse Elric from FMA Brotherhood, Stardust I think of Vash The Stamped from Trigun, Wind Thrasher Moka Akashiya from Rosario + Vampire, and Aura I think of Izumi Kurtis From FMA Brotherhood, and one character In the story I Did base off an anime Character Cookie Byte is Nymph from Heavon's Lost Property
Hey guys! Drako and I love seeing your feedback on here a lot but if you ever wanna talk to us download the Amino app and join our community Fallout Equestria Universe or our community we built for the story Fallout Equestria: Falling Shadows Amino. Download the Amino app on the Google Play Store or The App Store on apple devices. We love you all and would like to connect with you as much as we can with out being total creepsters. Thanks guys.
Oh and before I forget, new Chapter is on its way.
Good chapter as always Stardust and Drako
I think Shadow is gonna be a little torn up about what Milkshake is doing. Also I think this is one of the better chapters, well... In my opinion