Heh, never thought I'd see this one here :)

Never read it before maybe its time I should?

Ah, here it is again. I've added this to my reading list already but never got to it. Good thing this popped up, otherwise I would have never read it.

Oh boy here we go.

1. It's a TCB universe story.

2. It's THE origin of the TCB universe story.

Here comes the ocean of downvotes.

Misanthropy, misanthropy everywhere

6 dislikes already? WAAAAT?

EDIT: I don't like this OOOONE BIT.

Is this the whole story?

Ok, I thought since there were so many spin-offs, this MUST be a very good fic. Right? Nope. So what in the hell did Celestia do to the humans to convince them that all humans were complete assholes who only wanted money? Serously, it's completely out of character. What human would just straight up say "yep all humans are greedy scumbags"?

I'm sorry for all the grammatically incorrect things in that but this fic makes me mad. Very mad.

Ya know? I'd sure as heck wouldn't give up the entire human race to turn into ponies. A generation or two later and no ponified humans would exist! The entire human culture would be destroyed! ARRRG THIS FIC IS EVIL

"Is his human nature somehow still making it's way out," HUMANS ARE SO EVIL THAT I'LL GIVE YOU A HEADACHE AND MAKE YOU PASS OUT AHNFIUCAGFHIYUGFAIDSFHAKDSFHADSLKFHADJKFHAKDJFHKADFHKADJHFLKADSJHFLAKDSFHAKDSFHAKDSFHKDSAHFKAJDHFKJADSHFAJDS DAS90TUAR98GHASD ARARRGE

So humans bring technology hundreds of years ahead of what the ponies have into all of equestria and still get shunned?

I get the feeling someone is frustrated...

*sigh*

and thus my rage ends...

I thought the TCB original fic was never finished.

How did this become the origin of a fic 'verse?  This is a totally misanthropic piece of crap.

Anyone who actually likes the CB universe will tell you this story is bad, horribly misanthropic and not indicative of many of the fics in the genre.  Just like Cupcakes isn't all grimdark.  It's actually a constant annoyance for fans as people who are interested in the universe read this first and get disgusted, which is understandable.

>>829594829594

Completely.

It's like 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'. That movie was total crap, except for Paul Rubins being in it. How did it become such a cool television series?

Oh, wait - I know! It's because often truly great things can come from an inspired premise, however badly done the initial version of it is. Yes, that's it!

Now you know!

Finnaly I can read the original. And ADHD on Equines? It will be interesting to see how it is writen.

Sounds good first

Read the prologue, and I clicked off the story.

@hirschhazel read the rest please

Oh, where to begin...

Yeah, I've got nothin'. The cast are, frankly, assholes. Celestia is an asshole. They're all assholes.

The anti pony movement are... cardboard cut out villans with no motivation beyond ponies = evil, and I'm kinda agreeing with them. You know what? I can see why this created a thousand spinoffs. It's created a plethora of fix fics where people who are just plain insulted by this story (such as me) try to present something apart from... >>829617829617.

I just hate this story for the way it portrays mankind. I find it offensive, and tiresome.

The grammar, however, is fantastic, the pacing is... acceptable and there's nothing actually wrong with the cast's mechanics: they're all consistent.

>>829617829617 How did you post that?

>>829871829871

This guide holds the answers you seek.

I was JUST talking about 'what if blaze finished the conversion bureau?' Like not even a week ago.

I have seen the shitstorm, and it is glorious.

Image:  http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5373-poniez6.jpg

HOORAY! I GET TO READ THE ORIGINAL SPEECH!

...

...

...

IT'S JUST AS CRAPPY AND OUT OF CHARACTER AS I IMAGINED!

>>829883829883 why are you so awesome?

downvoting because it's crappy, and yet tracking it.

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9tKRjGudvxE/T2HV5En_KjI/AAAAAAAAAj4/x4s9HCAO8mI/s320/imagesCA52PVQ0.jpg

Whadda heck guys?!  I posted this here because it wasn't here and I felt that it should be I didn't think you would go crazy on how bad it was.  I didn't think it was bad

>>829922829922 why it isn't going anywhere it's finished

>>829906829906

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3398-130403330653.png

>>829928829928 ah fuck.

untracked (i know it's only faving now, but i refuse to say that i actually faved this)

Welp, it's here...

...I'm about to lose all my SAN, am I?

>>829927829927

Most stories that tend to get hundreds of spin-offs usually have a terrible start. Or in another case they have a good story and then hundreds of crappy spin-offs.

Just look at Cupcakes and Past Sins.

>>829906829906 Krass being awesome? Dude you must be high or stupid... we all know he is awesome and sexy at the same time.

>>829619829619

CB stories as a whole aren't horribly misanthropic? That's certainly news to me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my big bag of nachos so I can properly enjoy witnessing the firestorm that is erupting as I type this.

>>829970829970 I'm not high, i only had a few lines of cocaine.

ugh, the nerve of some people.

>>829989829989 Can I join you with my popcorn?

>>829993829993 Sorry about that, I didn't mean to offend and mind passing the crack pipe around?

Thanks to TCB and it's like-minded spin-offs a lot of people started to enjoy stories in which the Ponies are killed by humans. Heck, people even root for the HLF and that says a lot. So "thanks" TCB for making people hate ponies, you are wrose than Cupcakes. (Warning: Comment contains traces of irony)

>>829989829989 Well there are the many which have humanity triumphant. Except for chatoyance's, which still manages to be misanthropic.

>>829998829998

Image: http://meowcheese.com/files/lolpics/2010/04/-no-its-mine.jpg

This story got slammed. Slammed harder than a Beijing prostitute during tourist season.

>>830038830038 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!

Hole shit this gotz a shitz tonz of attentionz

And then the great TCB shitstorm came to halt as both sides made fun of how terribad the original was...

"Spike leaned over to look at the book that Twilight was looking at, The Second World War - A Guide. He noticed a grainy, black-and-white picture of a rather greasy, mean-looking human holding his arm straight out, as if he was giving some form of salute."

And blaze wonders why people hate him.

(First person to bring up Godwins law and fail to use it correctly will be punched IN THE SOUL!)

>>829998829998

Yes, yes you may.

>>830009830009

Other than Still Human and the pyrrhic victory of Ten Minutes, I'm not aware of any stories like that that aren't deconstructions or outright parodies of the CB subgenre or else aren't based on that oneshot of Chatoyance's. Care to enlighten me?

>>830059830059 Shitstorm? Germany was a shitstorm. This is a fuck ton of Irishmen drunk off their asses all spewing curses and lunch.

>>830076830076

YA GOT A PROBLEM WIT' MICKS EH?!

WELL IMA MICK, SONNY!

>>830080830080 OY YEW BLOODY TAVISHES! 'AVE A WIFF OF THA OL' BRIMSTONE YA BLEEDIN SORRY EXCUSES FOR WALKIN PINTS!

>>830066830066 Wrong universe

Not alone

United we stand

Edit: i just realized that these are all deconstructions. but my point remains valid.

>>830093830093

Yeah, they're all deconstructions, but they're still good stuff.

United we Stand in particular is one I like, but that's mostly because I like the story it's essentially a sequel to a lot and I like the idea of the canon cast going WTF at their rather imperialistic evil twins and eventually trying to knock some sense into them.

>>829525829525

I'd more or less say that. From a neutral standpoint, humans are really all after their own success, either through battle, physical goods, or happiness. Just like any other animal would be. It just so happens that due to our nature, we tend to want to get as much of said success as we can, rather than being content. Unfortunately, this evidently is what caused humanity (in this world, anyway) to fuck itself up, and why so many want to be ponies.

'Course, I definitely wouldn't say all humans are driven by their greed and hate. You only say that if you REALLY want to appeal to the ponies.

Sorry, I don't like this story.

My main issue is that The Mane Six are seriously OOC. I mean Pinkie Pie being a speciest? Really.

The other thing is that you have Twilight say that Earth is a dystopia but we don't see it. Show us that Earth's a dystopia, don't just tell us.

Finally, the HLF seem a bit bland. No motivation beyond "kill all the ponies".

>>829559829559

Come on, it's not THAT bad.

Sure, it's not the veritable masterpiece you expected, but it's okay. And usually when they talk about "the humans" being evil, it's about the Liberation group, not all of humanity. Otherwise, Celestia wouldn't have set up the bureaus.

What was this all about cause I always see these type of story's

Whoa, I thought this was some legendary pony fanfic or something up to par with "My Little Dashie." Judging by the comments, I guess I was wrong. Still gotta read this now that it's here...

>>830282830282 Twilight has it the worst. canon!twi would be like "An entirely new species with an unheard of culture, society, science, and history with absolutely no books written about them here? WE MUST FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY!" Instead,the author writes her character like "DEATH TO HUMANITY! HEIL CELESTIA!!!!"

>>830080830080 Dammit Krass stop being awesome! You're making the other readers self conscious.

MARY STU's MY FOJSFMCOKCM<LC:<ZZ<ING GEYAWD! SO MANY MARY STUS!

HEY LOOK GUISE! THAT'S A HUMAN,SO IT MUST BE EVIL BLARGHMUFFINSRAIDNAKJNDAHDIAUFAPFAHJKDJLLJPAPNAPSAPLAPCAPTAC

Premise good, execution bad. It's the premise people latched onto, not the content of the story. The original story got raked over the coals when it appeared on EqD. Midnight Shadow and Pride did the first fix-fics with much better characterization and I wrote four thousand words and some change about ponies getting shot. Anonsi and Krass and a ton of others did their first works over on Ponychan in the days before FiMfiction existed, and then Chatoyance appeared and blew the whole thing wide open with her rather polarizing (to put it mildly) take on it.

All told, though, I think it's good that the original story is here, if only for completeness.

What the hell is going on?!

Did I miss something?!

I haven't even begun to read this yet, I've been too busy trying to understand what's going on in the comments.

Seriously, this is more confusing than English Literature. And I got a 'U' in English Literature.

Can someone explain to me exactly what the bloody hell is happening here?!

>>831860831860 Apparently The Conversion Bureau was not as critically acclaimed as I thought it was so people are saying that.  I thought it was good save for the fact it isn't done yet

>>832403832403 I really hope i don't sound like I'm insulting you here.

I want you too reread twilight's speech from chapter three. Can you honestly look at that speech and say with a straight face that it is in any way 'good.'  In-fact, reread any place where they talk about humanity and tell me that this fic is in-fact not horribly heavy-handed and incredibly pretentious.

again, i apologize if I'm insulting.

>>832641832641 I can but then again I tend to like alot of things that most people don't (IE, this fic, stuff like that) so yeah

And now you tack THIS on, and...

For a story that got so many spin offs and so much recognition I was expecting... something better then this to say the least.

>>829628829628

Except...what good start?  Perhaps if you compared TCB to something a little more its style, say, The Eye of Argon.  Besides, the original Buffy film was a result of executive meddling; when the writer is the executive, there's no excuse.

This is a misanthropic hate-fest and nothing more.

>>830285830285

The fact that Celestia set up the Conversion Bureaus just means that there's "good ones" in the same way that African-Americans who didn't make waves in the 50s were considered "the good ones" by those who wanted to keep the status quo.  Bigotry is bigotry regardless of a jackboot or an anti-you medicine.

>>833393833393 whoever you are, you just said what i was thinking.

...

...

...

Image: http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20512498.jpg

I would say the same for the ponies as they are converting humans for thier own personal gain.

Wow. Now we have HLF as the Resistance Faction. What has Earth come to in this future. It puts Discord to shame.

This is completely unrelated to the story, but I just noticed that the background on the left side of the cover art is from Grand Theft Auto IV.

It made me chuckle.

*Sigh*

If only Blaze knew what he'd start...

>>829525829525

hey i just met you

and this is crazy

but your icon made me LOL

Oh, the memories!

I'm just going to leave a link to the MST here, for anyone who needs a little extra spice.

Image: http://i.imgur.com/mBUhu.png

We never did find out whether or not Ethan and Barry got together in the end.

>>830248830248 amen.

>>829543829543 lol, who cares about mankind, in that scene, the world would be already fucked up and anyone that has mind, would do what makes them happier, in anyone whit mind's place they would ponify

>>829785829785 if you find this offensive, congratulations, you have 100% of your humanity intact

Wow, I was halfway interested in reading this and one or two highly-rated spin-offs, but from the comments I had no idea they were so dark or that the original was "bad."

Maybe I'll pass after all...

Of course, the original Conversion Bureau is posted and it results in an immediate shitstorm! Why am I not surprised?

While I realize that I am, in fact, a whopping 17 weeks late to this roast I simply cannot pass up this chance to voice my opinion.

Yes, most people, whether they love or hate TCB fics, are in agreement that the original was, to put it bluntly, trash. Blaze HIMSELF was displeased with the fic, which is why he stopped writing it. He even said in the interview buried under almost 10 pages worth of blog posts that "... the spin-offs were clearly better than the original, so I think this premise is better left to the professionals.", but of course who can be bothered to do research on something they constantly bash even if it means, you know, that they'd have an actual idea of what they were talking about? The Conversion Bureau inspired so many spin-offs because, as already stated in these comments, it had a great premise, but the execution was faulty at best. Other writers took it upon themselves to write in a universe that they frankly enjoyed, and the author left open for and even encouraged others to add their own events to. While I am curious as to what would have happened later along the storyline of the original fic, he has a perfectly good reason for not continuing it, and let's face it, if he had continued what was to stop every anti TCB user on the internet to continue and possibly intensify their bashing? As badly written as I think this fic is, I have to give it a like regardless simply because it has spawned some great works of fanfiction. Of course, it has also spawned fics that are arguably worse. So you've got good fics and bad fics. Isn't this somewhat like, say, fanfiction, no, writing in general? If only everyone could just accept this and we could stop arguing over something a guy wrote simpy for fun. Sadly, every single hater wants to focus on the misanthropy they perceive in every single TCB fic in existence, whether it's an intended theme or message of the author, or it is simply the implied misanthropy of choosing to part with the human form. Blaze himself was not a misanthrope and did not intend to portray humanity in a negative light, he even tries to fix this IN the fic itself, albeit it was a rather weak attempt. If only everyone could just understand that a TCB fic does not have to be inherently misanthropic. Then we wouldn't have to see flame wars, bashing, or general shitstorms on all things Conversion Bureau.

Well, that was a lot longer and definitely whinier than my usual post, but it was to be expected, and I think I got my point across. Though I probably lost quite a few at "... a TCB fic does not have to be inherently misanthropic.", if they even bothered to read my wall of text. Oh well, guess I'll return to my normal activities on this site.

The idea/premise is fantastic. Humans changing into ponies with the help of a potion.

Time to make a medieval version, where humans can legitimately be assholes

I've been reading the posts and Blaze's comments and if I could make one recommendation to Blaze, I suggest if he is unhappy with the way it is going, tear it down and do it again. He says to 'leave it to the professionals'. Where do Professionals come from? In the arts, they're nothing more than talented amateurs!

>>21845392184539 He's done with it.  He said it was a section in his life that he has moved on from, so we're stuck with this half done and in a sorry state story.

>>830164830164

With United We Stand, the fact that it's set in a universe where the Autobots are allies of the ponies. Think about it, EoH + Matrix of Leadership combo.

"Sure I do!" Rainbow Dash blurted out, "It's because they didn't know how to control their greedy, fat butts from getting too greedy and fat for their own good, and now they're gonna dump all of the people over here!" Rainbow then looked at Ethan, who was a little shocked, "Er, present company excluded, of course.

   "So, how is this bad for us?" Rainbow queried, "Let them stay in that manure-hole they live in, and we'll just hang out with all of the cool new ponies comin' in!"

    Pinkie Pie piped up, "But what's so bad about that? Human bodies are icky and big and ugly and...and mean! Humans are mean!"

................................................................................How the fuck did the author not see, AT ANY POINT, how utterly ignorant and completely JUVENILE the characters are acting, and how unbelievably BACKWARDS this  philosophy is!

we've learned from the following movies:

Lawrence of Arabia

Dances with Wolves

The Last Samurai

And fucking Avatar (as much as I HATE saying that)

That, YES, humanity has done and is capable of doing bad shit.

but they don't say that all of humanity is terrible, and at least they're SUBTLE about the meaning.

But THIS.....

THIS

is just a sorry excuse to play the same game with Humanity to look edgy!

This fic is literally seething with pretentiousness!

Corporate scumbag cliche? CHECK!

Using Hitler and the holocaust to shame humanity? CHECK!

An organization of xenophobic bigots that are basically a carbon-copy of the KKK to make humans look like racist D-bags? CHECK!

Also, really, really, REALLY bad dialogue? CHECK!