Twilight asks Big MacIntosh to read to the Cutie Mark Crusaders while she runs an errand. He's not much of a reader, but he just can't say nope to Twilight.
No, Big Mac. I'm not sorry. That's what you get for not shipping with Fluttershy.
Picture: Library by birdco. Big Mac by blackm3sh. CMC by PDPie. Desk by BronyBrad. Book by misteraibo. Combined by me in GIMP.
If you'd like to make line-by-line comments, the google docs version is here.
If this story seemed to just drag on and on, I have short stories in Pony Tales.
Nothing wrong with some TwiMac shipping, even if it's seemingly onesided.
I liked it!
Am I the only one that read all of Big Mac's parts in his accent? Eeyup?
Cute... kinda sad in its own way
It was a confusing read, even more so towards the end. I understand that Big Mach liked Twi for some reason but in my view he should just stay with Fluttershy, it works out so much better that way.....hmmm....not saying I don't lioke it but it could have beeen a bit better, I saw no grammer or spelling erorrs and I'm a really big fan of the CMC so you did very well keeping them true to who they are. It was ok....but could have been a bit more...humorous, ya know?
I thought this was really sweet. I'd love to see a sequel, but it's a cute little one shot as it is.
Why do I have the feeling that Big Mac might have been skipping on some of the details?
"She could fall for his great, brawny muscles, and they could have a passionate fling!" This sounded so wrong coming from her. This was nice, well done.
Dude, TwiMac is the best pairing in all of MLP!!
>>826686826686 Yeah....umm...going to have to disagree...by a LOT...to tell the truth, for in my own view, Spike/Twilight is the best romance pairing of MLP:Fim, and FlutterMac is a really great pair, not my second favorite but one of my top five for sure...but that's my own view, everyone likes somethnig different.
Dude! Spike is like, a baby!
>>826780826780 You are aware that these are animals, not humans so they do really have an age limit for when to mate.....and in any case there is no law for MLP stating that we simply can not make Spike OLDER in our own story. And as stated before, everyone has their own views on different subjects...what's wrong to you may not be wrong to myself or another.
You make valid points.
>>826806826806 Thank you and I respect your choices that you have made...on another note, I really have a lot of respect for the Apple family.
I think Pinkie Pie X candy is best pairing
Mostly cuz it is canon
Why does everyone think FlutterMac would work? Fluttershy is the shyest pony around, even with her friends. Put her with a stallion and she'll just keep passing out or just stay extremely quiet. Big Mac is a pony of lazy action, he'll do the work but you got too get him going first. Twilight would be able to bring out the talker in him.
And another thing, why does everyone assume he isn't smart? Someone's got to run the finances around the farm and Applejack ain't doing it and Granny Smith is too old. He could secretly be a genius but focuses to much on his work.
This was very well written; I loved it. First I was laughing, but then at the end it felt bittersweet. A great read.
This one was really charming... awkward, bittersweet and really endearing. Nicely done!
... I'm so going to have something for you commenters in a couple days. Nice little ficlet too, btw.
First of all, to the TwiMac vs FlutterMac vs Twike... Haven't you seen the scientific evaluation of aging in Equestria? It said that Twilight was about a year old when Spike hatched, which was three years ago. So, it'd be 4 years and three years, making Twike not be creepy. Also, there is no definitive proof on whether Big Mac is a genius or an idiot; it all depends on head-canon. Fluttershy is shy most of the time, and who's to say Big Mac isn't in certain situations? He certainly has a sensitive side, what with the Smarty Pants doll.
It does not matter whether you like FlutterMac more than TwiMac, this should not even be a discussion in the reviews. Here...
I just found a pairing discussion page for MLPFIM. Follow the link to a forum page where you all can elaborate on why you think your pairing is best.
Anyways, I don't know what Inferno Demon Dash said about this being confusing. I found it to be a pleasant and light-hearted read with enough subtlety to feel like it's finished. However... Sequel Please?
Who picked up Scootaloo?
That's...surprisingly sad, actually. Even more so if you consider it will have no resolution. Is Big Mac supposed to be illiterate? That seems unlikely, as school attendance appears to be compulsory in Equestria.
I'm not sure how aging works in Equestria. However, you can safely assume that the mane six are all young adults (as none are in school and all appear to live on their own -- Rarity runs a business all on her lonesome). Spike is younger, but we can't safely say how much younger. If we assume that cutie marks roughly coincide with puberty we can estimate that he's seven to thirteen years younger. That would make him anywhere between five and fifteen years of age. Or so. This ain't exactly an exact science. Still, its more than enough to make Twispike really creepy. The fact that their relationship resembles that of brother and sister just adds to the brrrr factor for me.
 Well, I'm sure Opalescence helps, possibly with bookkeeping.
 Well, all these supernatural powers seem to manifest around puberty, don't they? You might even think that they are one of 'em metaphorical-thingies. Allegorical, even.
 Which is supported by extended canon, I believe. They grew up, more or less, together.
 Technical term.
What does "Flushed with each other" mean?
It means that they all lined up so that the bindings where they have the title would all be smooth rather than some being further in than others.
Doesn't really add anything the original ending didn't already have, so it feels sorta..... empty I guess
Thanks for realizing this is a sad story.
For those who are still confused:
- Big Mac can't read. So he makes up a story about what's on his mind, which is Twilight.
- He was happy to sit and watch, and was disappointed that Twilight is leaving, and chooses a lavender-colored book, and tells a story about Twilight and calls her the smartest mare in the world, because he's in love with her.
- He doesn't talk much because he's afraid of sounding stupid, and the CMC twice tell him, basically, that he sounds stupid. He admires Twilight for being able to talk in front of crowds because he can't.
- He doesn't think Twilight would be interested in an uneducated farmer like him, and the CMC, without realizing it, ridicule him for even thinking that he has a chance with Twilight. When he says, "Ah'm, ah'm sorry it was such a silly story," that slight stutter for Big Mac is supposed to be the equivalent of any other pony breaking down and bawling their eyes out.
- Ending 1: And he doesn't have a chance with Twilight.
- Ending 2: Twilight likes him too; and each of them thinks the other couldn't possibly be interested in them, and will never risk letting the other pony know.
Was that too subtle? It seems like a lot of readers didn't get it.
Equestria doesn't have compulsory education. Ponyville has a private school, which is too expensive for most ponies, because Cheerilee's coke habit isn't cheap. (Pinkie Pie has the local market cornered, thanks to Shining Armor's protection racket.) That's why the CMC are picked on mercilessly by the rich kids, who resent having poor people in their school. Spike can't afford to go, Applejack had to take out a second mortgage on the farm - and let's just not talk about how Rarity pays for it.
What? It has MOAR SADNESS! Isn't that great? Hmm. Maybe not. I see your point. I had these two ways of ending the story, and didn't know which was better, so I eventually posted both. But I never came up with a happy ending.
Which ending do people like better? There's not a big difference, but I care about little differences. One is hopeless for Big Mac. The second is sad for both Big Mac and Twilight, and has some extra sadness from knowing how close they are to happiness; but isn't completely hopeless.
I liked this alternate, yet still bittersweet ending. It actually makes sense to me that Twilight would be unaware as to why people in Ponyville liked her when she never used to have any friends. It's a sad little window into her lack of self-confidence when it comes to such things. It was also tragic yet touching how she devalued her knowledge, knowing nobody around her cared much about such things, and how she suspected Mac would find it pointless.
Thanks for sharing this alternate take!
no, it is not to subtle.
I enjoyed the additional ending.
First thing, I'd just suggest taking out some of the "X said"'s. Normally, it's no big deal, but try not to have too many in a row. I saw like, three of them consecutively, so yeah. You could also do with removing the "Ah's" because readers already know the Apple Family accent. Using apostrophe's is more subtle, and easier to read.
Anyway, great stuff. I liked both endings, the second one a bit more. I love the way Big Mac makes up his story, especially with the "plow teeth" and "bigger plow teeth" part. You did a good job with the characterizations of all the ponies included, so that's also a plus. It was a good read!
Usually I tell people they're wrong when they say that, because they usually are. But you're right. Too many "saids" in this case. I took some out.
Ah don't know about the "ah's". I feel like if I start taking them out, I have to take them all out. Then people would complain that he doesn't sound like an Apple.
If he asked Twilight to teach him how to read, maybe their relationship would grow.
I prefer pinkie x cake.
Her daddy Discord! *rimshot*
Have you forgotten Lesson Zero? Or for a more subdued version, the sleepover? Creepy is one of Twilight's innate traits! She's like a dang anime fangirl! Only, er, with books. Freakin' insane nerdy egghead!
That's a pretty good idea.
I'm not going soft. This ending is Frizzy's fault.
Don't worry. This is way too adorable -and kinda make sense- for anyone to be upset.
It was so painful, how misunderstood saying: Because it was yours. I could feel it through the virtual pages
If you ask me - and why should you? - this story captures, as well as any I've seen, both Mac's innate intelligence and overall shrewdness. I like to think of myself as embodying both those attributes, but it would never, ever have occurred to me to declare my desire for a certain Very Special Somepony while pretending to tell a story to the young'uns. And given the volubility of the CMC - one could legitimately call them, um, "gabby" - what went on here will surely get back to Twilight Sparkle, who will then connect the dots. (And then reconnect them, because that's what she does, and because she wouldn't be able to deal with the idea, any better than she would have handled the situation had she opened the door and Mac simply blurted out "Did I mention that I love you?")
Not to say that I have any knowledge of how this scenario would work, of course.
Note: I wrote this before looking at either of the alternate endings.
So that's why he made me write it that way! That sneaky Big Mac.
Wish I could say I'd thought of that while I was writing it.
Er, I mean - I totally thought of that when I was writing it.
oh man these endings become better and better huh ?
Actually, the doll is called Miss Smarty Pants.
Don't blame me! I never recommended it, I just had an idea.
The next ending has Nicholas Cage in it!
I like the constant alternate endings they are are alright
Whoops! Thanks much.
A good story you have here. But it's a bit of a leap, going from "He had my doll" to "He can't read", isn't it? It might go a bit better if we could hear Twilight's thought processes that allowed her to reach that conclusion.
She's supposed to infer that from her belief that the book on the table is the book Big Mac was "reading" to them. But, since I already worried a lot before publishing that chapter about whether that was sufficient, I'll start worrying about it again. Possibly even enough to change it. (LATER:) Changed!
I hate to say it but you inspired me to write a twimac fic. lol.
As for your's D'AWWWWWWWWWW!
There we go. If you're going to do a TwiMac ship you need to do it just like that. Besides, why does everyone assume he's dumb? Someone has to manage the finances and Applejack certainly isn't doing it, Granny Smith is too old, and Applebloom is too young. So it falls onto Mac to handle the farm and such.
Best. Alternate Ending. EVER!!!
Well, except the alternate ending to Rocket to Insanity, which was the alternate ending to Cupcakes, where Rainbow got help for her dreams without killing Pinkie. That will always be the number one.
But, this is a VERY close second.
Hello, and thank you for submitting to Equestria Daily.
Unfortunately, your fic does not meet the minimum word count. While it is over 2500 words, 1100 of those are part of alternate endings. Also, the writing seems very flat, where character does this, character does that, character said, etc. Please revise your fic before resubmitting.
The Equestria Daily Team
i enjoyed each ending, this one the most however because i'm a sucker for a happy ending.
This story was so cute. I loved it!
Funny the first ending made me feel sorry for Big Mac, though I couldn't help but respect him.
The second seemed a cruel twist of fate that they would be seperate, if a little unrealistic for Twilight's insecurities.
Yet it is the happy ending that made me teary, I hope you don't mind if I prefer this ending.
It also helped that unlike in the 2nd ending Twilight's insecurities are less around herself, seeing as she already realised her worth in 'Boast Busters', and more about herself and Big Mac.
Having her so harshly crippling herself with low self-esteem, when the show is largely about her development just doesn't add up. Whereas in the 3rd ending you have a believable basis for Twilight's distance from Big Mac and a lovely closing note which hints at things to come.
I'm a sucker for a happy ending though.
None of the endings are hopeless, really. Sweetie blabs about it to Rarity, who's suspected it for a while but never had any proof until now, and then she can't resist meddling.
You evil, evil man! You made me feel!
Now, up to the blackboard and write "I shan't make my readers go DAWWW!" fifty times."!
The only thing about the third alternative that seems a little off is how fast Twilight realizes that Big Mac is analphabetic.
Am I a bad person for liking the second ending? It has that bitter-sweet taste of unrequited love that I like even better than the third "and they lived happily ever after"-ending.
It's nice to read something lighthearted once in a while.
Buck 'em! I liked this little slice of life, short though it was, and rushed though the alternate alternate may have been. Shipping with canon ponies outside the Mane6 is too rarely done, and rarer still done well.
splendid way to end
I was looking for this ending...this one is sweet and just how I like it with an extra dash of D'aww!
Hello, and thank you for submitting to Equestria Daily.Unfortunately, your fic does not meet the minimum word count. While it is over 2500 words, 1100 of those are part of alternate endings. Also, the writing seems very flat, where character does this, character does that, character said, etc. Please revise your fic before resubmitting.Sincerely,The Equestria Daily Team
lol sounds kinda contrived as a rejection but eh i think it's good.
I just found out the LivingLibraryPlayers did an audio reading of it. Thanks!
Loved this one! Hadn't really thought much about Twimac before. And to everyone here fearing for the sanctity of Fluttermac... yeah, those two really are perfectly suited for each other, and enjoyably cute and tender, but boring as hell. Can't imagine them doing anything hilarious or exciting together. Just endless quiet time.
My only annoyance is the idea that Mac can't read. Otherwise nicely done.
Second ending is my favorite.
I loved this. It's powerful, and gets to the point quickly, while leaving the right amount to the reader's imagination.
It's entirely plausible that there are a large-ish number of illiterate ponies in Ponyville, since every shop seems to have a sign with a picture of what service they offer (yes, it's probably an animation convenience, but hey, good authors can build on that).
Have a Big Mac.
I never really thought of a twimac fic but I can see how they have some things in common but still enough differences to make it interesting . I'll be moving on to the next now.
I really like the this ending it was a good happy ending.
3rd time is a charm