Dinky Hooves, Cutie Mark Crusader
“Ha! No kidding?”
“No kiddin’! Clean out of the ground, roots and all!”
“Sheesh, I figured Big Mac was strong, but that’s just ridiculous!”
“Ah know! He was pretty embarrassed about it for a while, and Applejack sure wasn’t happy.”
“I can imagine.”
After my initial muck-up in pulling the cart, I managed to get it going, though at a rather slow pace. Apple Fritter didn’t mind, as she trotted beside me and wiled away the time with little stories about the Apple family. As it turned out, they were spread out all over Equestria, in places like Manehattan, Fillydelphia, and the southern settlement of Appleloosa. Only a couple of Applejack’s cousins lived in Ponyville, and Apple Fritter was one of them.
From her talk and her behavior, I had the impression that Fritter was a very eager, good-hearted mare, always ready to lend a helping hoof, and quick to joviality. She had me laughing at some of the quips and jokes she knew, and I shared a few of my own, which made her burst into such hearty laughter that it was some time before she could collect herself.
At any rate, we spent maybe 3 to 4 hours hauling the cart back and forth from the patch of trees to the barn, with a break for lunch in between, consisting of fresh-baked apple wares from Granny Smith’s kitchen. Talking with Fritter kept me from complaining or asking how much longer it would take, and lo and behold, before I knew it, I was unloading the last load of apples from our chosen patch of trees, and it was just getting on 3. My arms, legs, and back were killing me, and I was damp with sweat, but it was done.
“Hoo-whee!” whooped Apple Fritter. “How’d that do for ya, pard?”
“I’m pretty exhausted, Apple Fritter,” I said, “but I was glad to help, and it was good having you to talk to.”
“Aww, well, thanks,” said Apple Fritter, giving me a nudge. “Ye’re sweet to say so.”
“Fine work, you two!” said Applejack, coming in. “That’s the last of the bumper crop. Thanks for pitchin’ in, Dave.”
“Glad to be of service, AJ,” I said.
“Now, I ain’t forgotten yer reward fer helping,” she went on, and at the same time, hauled a small but bulgy bag out from seemingly nowhere, “so how does 50 bits sound? Pretty reasonable for a couple hours, wouldn’t ya say?”
“Very reasonable,” I said, eagerly. However, on reflection, I asked, “But, are you sure you don’t need it more? I’d hate to deprive you of a chunk of what you need to get by.”
“Oh, blame it all, you are just too sweet fer your own good,” said Applejack, with a little shake of the head and a smile, as she put the bag into my hands. “Don’t worry about it, hon. This is around the time when we make our big bits, cider season and all. Which reminds me, you’ll wanna be early if you want to catch a mug.”
“Does it go that fast?” I asked.
“It does when Pinkie Pie’s at the head of the line, but we always try to increase productivity each year. The Apple family recipe takes time and integrity.”
“Ah, of course," I said. "That makes sense. Well, when does it start? Pinkie’s set up a vigil at her mailbox, waiting for a letter.”
“She has?”
Applejack gave a small ‘Tsk’ noise.
“Ah swear, that girl…Well, it officially starts next week Monday, just after the Running of the Leaves.”
“Well, with luck, she’ll get a reply by then," I said. "What is the Running of the Leaves, anyway?”
“That’s when everypony races through the woods to make the autumn leaves fall,” said Apple Fritter.
(The leaves don’t even fall by themselves? Now this is just getting ridiculous.)
“Sounds…interesting,” I finally said. “I’ll definitely see what I can do about cider season.”
Applejack beamed, just as Big Mac approached.
“Ah, Dave,” he said, “Ah’d hoped you hadn’t left yet.”
“What’s up, Big Mac?”
“Ah’d been thinkin’, and wanted to know if you’d like to join me and the fellas at the bowlin’ alley tonight.”
“Really?" I asked, in surprise. "You want me to come?”
“Eeyup, if you’ve got nothin’ else to do, Ah mean.”
I was about to answer, when I reflected on Pinkie. I couldn’t continue to leave her there all by herself, sitting by the mailbox. Then again, she had assured me that she’d be all right, and that I didn’t need to fret about her. She wanted me to have fun, so who was I to argue with her? Besides, I hadn’t had any real ‘guy fun’ ever since I landed, though this was by no means a disparagement against Pinkie’s friends.
“I’d love to!" I said. "Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”
“Great! We’re planning to meet up for 6:30 at Mr. Kingpin’s alley.”
“6:30, got it. I’ll see if I can make it, but if I’m late or don’t show up, you don’t have to wait around.”
“Sounds good,” he said, with a smile.
“I should probably be on my way, then," I said. "Thanks again for letting me help, AJ.”
“And thank you, Dave. If’n yer ever lookin’ for an odd job, we’ll find somethin’ for ya.”
She gave me a friendly wink.
“Glad to hear. And Apple Fritter, it was great meeting you.”
“Same to you, Dave! Y’all take care!”
She gave me a hearty slap on the back, which was still kinda sore from hauling the cart, but I turned my pained grimace into a smile as I took my leave of the Apple siblings and their cousin. They were all so nice, so obliging, and from what Apple Fritter told me, very close-knit. That was relieving to hear for such an apparently enormous, far-spread family.
I had barely left them, however, before I felt something small impact my leg. Looking down, I beheld Apple Bloom, who was hugging it and beaming up at me.
“Hi, Dave!” she said.
“Hey, Apple Bloom!” I said, bending down and ruffling her mane. “Good day at school?”
“Yup! Ah’m glad you’re here, cuz we’ve gotta get going!”
“Going? Going where?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse!" said Apple Bloom, releasing my leg and hopping up and down in excitement. "It’s Dinky’s initiation!”
“Today?" I asked, surprised. "Really? That was fast! Does she know?”
“Nope! Scootaloo’s bringing her, and she’s keeping it a surprise. Sweetie Belle went with her, but they won't be long, so we’d better get going.”
“Lead the way, my friend.”
Apple Bloom took off, scampering on ahead, while I made sure not to overtake her in my strides.
***
Her path took us into another part of the farm, one surrounded by many trees and bushes, so that it almost felt jungle-like. At last, we pushed our way into a clearing where, nestled on an enormous tree, stood a sizeable tree house, surrounded by a walkway and possessing a ramp by way of ascension. All things considered, it was well-put-together, and downright cozy-looking.
“Wow, this actually looks pretty nice,” I said.
“Thanks!" said Apple Bloom. "It used to be Applejack’s, but Ah fixed it up when she lent it to us!”
"Yeah, Scootaloo did mention something like that, but I never expected something like this. You really are a marvel, Apple Bloom."
Apple Bloom smiled broadly.
“Thanks, Dave. Well, the others are gonna be along any minute, and we wanna be ready to start right away, so come on up!”
“Lead the way.”
I followed Apple Bloom up the ramp, which creaked beneath my steps, but remained intact. Thankfully, the door was large enough to permit me if I stooped down, which I did, though my shoulders just brushed the door frame. The ceiling was higher than the door, and I was able to stand full up and take a look around. I could see a table and chairs, the former set with a flowered vase; a painted bull’s-eye directly beneath a hanging light bulb, which hung from an aperture in the ceiling; a crayon-drawn map of Ponyville, a chart covered with an assortment of pictures, some of which were X-ed out, and a list with checkboxes and drawn heads beside them. Apple Bloom pointed out what each of these were as I looked about.
“That’s our lunch table, where we eat and plan out some of our Crusading. Sometimes we stand in that spot and think of great ideas. There's our chart of Crusadin' ideas, with everythin' we've already tried crossed off. That’s our map of Ponyville, and there’s our roll call list. Look, see, we added you!”
She crossed over to this list and pointed eagerly, so I walked over and crouched to look. I saw drawn heads of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo…and me. Yes, they actually drew my head there: big glasses, messy black hair, and all. I chuckled, as it was just so adorable to imagine them being proud of including me on there.
“Do you like it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Like it? I love it. It really makes me feel like part of the gang.”
“That’s cuz y’are, silly! Crusaders together, Crusaders forever!”
“Forever…”
Something in that word really struck something in my heart. I didn’t exactly have ‘forever’, depending on how long I was destined to remain here. Still...
“What’s the matter, Dave?”
Apple Bloom was looking curiously up at me. I didn't want to saddle her with what I was thinking.
“Nothing, Apple Bloom. I'm glad to be part of the team, that's all.”
I reached down and tousled her mane, making her giggle. She was such a sweet kid. In fact, she reminded me of one of my younger cousins back home, always able to bring a smile to my face.
Suddenly, my ears picked up a faint buzzing noise. Apple Bloom apparently heard it, too.
"That's Scootaloo on her scooter!" she said, eagerly. "They’re here!”
She bounded over to a small chest sitting in a corner of the room, flipped it open, and drew out a piece of red cloth just like my Crusaders neckerchief, only it must obviously be a cape for a pony of her size.
“Er, is there anything I need to do for the ceremony?” I asked.
“‘Course! You get to lead Dinky in our new Crusaders oath!”
“New Crusaders oath?”
“Scootaloo wrote it herself. She didn't have it with her when we swore you in. so we kinda did a different one on the fly. Here ya go!”
She reached into the chest and tossed me a rather thick scroll, making me wonder how Scootaloo managed to write all of it.
We heard the tramp of hooves on the walkway, and in through the door, clad in their Crusader capes, were Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
“Hi, Dave!” squeaked Sweetie Belle.
“Hey, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo.”
“I heard about what happened on the playground. You really clammed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon up!”
“Did you really think I was gonna watch them push anypony, especially any of you, around?" I asked. grinning. "Not a chance.”
“Well, they didn’t bother us for the rest of the day, all thanks to you,” said Scootaloo.
“Great to hear. Now, where’s the filly of the hour?”
“Right outside. Apple Bloom’s gonna call her in when it’s time.”
“To your positions, ponies!” said Sweetie Belle.
With astonishing rapidity, the two zipped past me, and I heard a loud clattering from behind. By the time I turned around, I was surprised to see that they had placed a lectern in front of the map, and Scootaloo had somehow produced a pair of tribal drums.
“How did you-”
But they never explained. Apple Bloom just ran past me and went to the door.
“All right, Dinky, you can come up now!”
The next thing I knew, Sweetie Belle was bulldozing me from behind my legs, trying to urge me toward the lectern. I took the hint and took my place beside it as she went up behind it.
In the next moment, Apple Bloom joined us, having led a rather nervous-looking Dinky to the front of the lectern. In an instant, everything became solemn, as Scootaloo played a slow, 4-note beat on those tribal drums, which escalated into a wild, vibration-inducing tribal beat, the little pegasus drumming away with an adorably silly grin on her face, though nopony else looked amused by the change in music.
At last she ceased, the solemnity returning to the ceremony, only for her to drop one last beat on one of the drums. Apple Bloom cast her a sidelong look as Sweetie Belle addressed Dinky.
“State your name, newcomer.”
“D-Dinky Hooves.”
“And is it your desire to be a Cutie Mark Crusader.”
“Y-Yes.”
“Brother Dave, you may proceed.”
“Me? Oh, well, thank you, Sister Sweetie Belle.”
Sweetie Belle moved from her spot and allowed me to step into it. It wasn’t on the scroll I was given, but I decided to say something that this whole scenario sparked remembrance of. So I said, in an imposing voice,
“Dinky Hooves, newcomer of purple and blonde, you have been called forth to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse to join with us in the fraternal bonds of Crusaderdom…”
This was met with an awestruck look from Dinky and a round of giggling from the others.
“That was really good!” whispered Sweetie Belle to me.
“Heh, thanks," I said. "Just thought I’d improvise for an introduction.”
I then unrolled the scroll and began reading for it.
“Before we can properly induct you, Dinky Hooves, you must follow these steps to prove your worth: raise one hoof and salute with the other.”
Dinky raised a hoof and slapped the other across her brow.
“Stand on one hind leg and touch the bottom of the other with your tail.”
Dinky raised herself on one hind leg and touched the tip of her fluffy tail to the other hoof, her face scrunching slightly, as she probably tickled herself. For my part, I was finding these directions very bizarre.
“Now, uh, rub your tummy with one hoof and pat your head with the other.”
Not missing a beat, Dinky drew circles on her little tummy with one hoof as she patted her head with the other.
“Now, hop on one hoof, cross your eyes, and stick out your tongue.”
Dinky, still rubbing and patting, began bouncing on the hoof she was standing on, crossed her eyes in a way very similar to her mother, and poked her tongue out the side of her mouth.
“And now, cease and be seated.”
Dinky dropped all that she was doing and plunked herself down on her hindquarters. Still thoroughly perplexed at what I’d just read off, I was aware that Scootaloo was fighting hard to keep from bursting out laughing. Apple Bloom said she had written it, after all.
I cleared my throat and read on,
“Congratulations. This series of actions was made to ensure you were ready and willing to do anything, no matter how silly, to earn your cutie mark.”
Huh. Clever. Good thing I didn’t have to go through all this when I was made a member.
“And now, Dinky Hooves, perform the salute once more, and I shall recite the Crusaders oath.”
Dinky raised one hoof and saluted with the other as I read,
“Dinky Hooves,
Do you swear to fight the fight,
In Celestia’s day or Luna’s night
To always be faithful, loyal, and true
To strive until your face is blue
To quest to find out who you are
Until you earn your cutie mark?
Do you, Dinky Hooves, swear to all of this?”
“Yes, I do!” chirped Dinky.
“Then, by the power vested in me, it is my warm pleasure to name you, Dinky Hooves, an official fellow Cutie Mark Crusader!”
As soon as I concluded, Sweetie Belle popped up by my side and tossed what looked like another Crusaders cape, which landed neatly across Dinky’s back. Eyes shining and glistening with happy tears, she picked up two corners and tied them in a knot around her neck, forming the cape. The four of us approached to ring around her.
“Congratulations, Dinky!” said Apple Bloom.
“Welcome aboard!” said Sweetie Belle.
“I’m proud of ya, sis,” said Scootaloo.
This last one seemed to affect Dinky the most, and she practically pounced on Scootaloo, hugging her so tight that I could almost swear she took lessons from Pinkie. Although her face registered discomfort from pressure, Scootaloo returned the hug for her sister.
“This calls for a celebration!” announced Sweetie Belle. “Who’s up for milkshakes?”
A chorus of cheers rang up from the little fillies as they stampeded out of the clubhouse. I lingered behind, remarking to myself how heartwarming the whole process had been. Scootaloo had gained a mother, two sisters, and now a fellow Cutie Mark Crusader, and now little Dinky was among their clique. I didn’t want to make myself big-headed by thinking so, but somehow, I couldn’t help but feel responsible for helping bring it all together.
“Coming, Dave?” called Scootaloo, interrupting my thoughts.
“Uh? Oh! Right! Coming!”
And I hurried off after the newly-expanded Crusaders, feeling thirsty already.
***
When Sweetie Belle had said milkshakes, I had no idea that Sugarcube Corner sold them, so I was surprised to find our path leading in that direction. The four Crusaders came to a halt, however, upon an unusual sight.
Pinkie was standing on all fours in front of the mailbox. Well, I should say all threes, because she was constantly opening and closing the flap with one hoof, peeping excitedly in, only for her face to sink in disappointment once again, the cycle repeating over and over.
The four of them traded bemused looks, while I just sighed in exasperation.
“What’s she doin’?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Waiting for a letter,” I answered, “or, to be more accurate, the reply for one she sent out just this morning.”
“How long’s she been there?” asked Scootaloo.
“Almost as soon as she sent it. She’s worked out a whole worst case scenario if she should stop watching it for even a second.”
“Typical Pinkie,” said Sweetie Belle, with a shake of the head.
“I agree.”
I approached her and tapped her on the shoulder. She started and whipped around, her surprise melting away into pleasure at seeing me.
“Hi, Davie! How are you?”
“Pretty good. How are you holding out?”
“All right. I’ll sit by this mailbox all night, if I have to!”
“Pinkie, are you sure I can’t make you reconsider?” I asked, reasonably.
“Uh-uh!" said Pinkie, shaking her head. "This is way too super-duper-mega-hyper-important for me to make any mistakes on! I’m staying right here.”
As if to emphasize, she plunked her hindquarters firmly down on the curb, in a show of defiant determination.
“What about Mr. and Mrs. Cake?" I asked. "Won’t they need you?”
“They didn’t come out to ask me all day,” said Pinkie. “They’re doing fine.”
“Suit yourself,” I said, with a shrug. “Come on, girls.”
The five of us walked into Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie having gone back to opening and closing the mailbox flap. We entered to find the couple standing at the counter, Mrs. Cake wiping it down with a cloth rag.
“Ah! Hello, Dave!” said Mr. Cake. “Having a good day?”
“'Busy' is the more appropriate word, Mr. Cake,” I said, “but yes. We’d like 5 milkshakes, please. Er, no, make it 6. We'll send one out to Pinkie.”
“Certainly! The Mrs. and I know what Pinkie likes, so what flavors for the five of you?”
“Girls?” I asked, turning to them.
“Chocolate!” said Scootaloo.
“Strawberry!” said Apple Bloom.
“Vanilla!” said Sweetie Belle and Dinky together.
“And I’ll have a chocolate as well,” I said.
“All righty, then! That’ll be 12 bits, and I’ll have them coming right up.”
I laid the money out on the table, and Mr. Cake went to fetch the shakes.
“Has it been super-busy without Pinkie to help?” I asked Mrs. Cake.
“Oh, it’s nothing we couldn’t handle,” she said. “Some days, we do need a little extra help around the place, but most days, Carrot and I have got things under control. What is Pinkie up to, though? She never said anything.”
“She’s waiting for a letter from her family,” I told her, “that was only sent out today. Pinkie apparently has no concept of patience.”
“Her family?” asked Mrs. Cake, in some surprise.
“Yeah. She felt guilty that she hadn’t kept contact with them in years, and decided now was as good a time as any to make amends.”
“Well, that’s relieving to hear. All the time she’s lived and worked with us, Pinkie’s never given us much detail about her family.”
“She hasn’t? Not even to you?” I asked, in some astonishment.
“No. All she’s ever told us is that she came from a rock farm, and left it at that. To be fair, we weren’t really sure what to say to the thought of a rock farm.”
“I was a little speechless myself, when she told me,” I admitted.
“Well, I hope this all turns out all right,” said Mrs. Cake.
"You and me both," I said. "I can't see them outright rejecting her. She's been through so much since leaving home, maybe even more, if I haven't heard everything. Can anyone blame her for losing contact?"
“I certainly can’t," said Mrs. Cake. "Carrot and I have always considered Pinkie one of the family, and the thought of her being hurt by something like this…Well, it breaks my heart.”
I nodded soberly, and at that moment, Mr. Cake arrived with a tray containing the milkshakes. The Crusaders grabbed theirs, shouting “Thank you”s to Mr. Cake as they sat down to drink. He went outside to deliver Pinkie's, then came back in as I grabbed mine. Then, as if he had just remembered something, he said, as he returned behind the counter,
“Oh! Dave, I almost forgot. We had a customer who asked about you today.”
“Really? Do you know who it was?” I asked.
“No. They kept themselves wrapped up in an old cloak. They came in and ordered quite a number of things: a whole pie, half a dozen cupcakes, half a dozen muffins, and they paid for it all like money wasn’t even an object. We don’t often get such customers these days, let me tell you.”
“Wow.”
“But after they packed up and were about to leave, they said, ‘Give my regards to the human you’re housing, the one who’s friends with the pink one outside’, and then walked out.”
“And that was it?” I asked, puzzled.
“That was it.”
“And you're sure it was nopony you knew?”
“If they hadn't kept their face hidden, I might know them, but maybe not. I’d never even heard the voice before, at any rate. They sounded like they needed a lozenge.”
“Hmm…”
I meditated on what Mr. Cake had told me as I sat down with the Crusaders with my own milkshake. Someone had come to the bakery, cloaked and possibly using a disguised voice, had purchased a large amount of baked goods, sparing no expense, and had asked the Cakes to ‘give their regards’ to me. Whoever it was also knew that I was staying there, and that I was friends with Pinkie, or the ‘pink one’, as they called her. But who could I have known or become acquainted with that could have left such a message?
And then it clicked in my head.
Trixie!
It made sense; she wished to keep her identity hidden, as she’d already been met with some scorn in her last public appearance, had no doubt become fixated on the muffins I’d given her (even though they were from Derpy and not the bakery), and also had referred to Pinkie in similar terms.
But then, where could she have gotten the money to pay for all of that stuff? If she had been struck with misfortune after the Ursa Minor incident, what had happened to her afterwards to have made her financially secure, yet unhappily secluded? Perhaps another visit to her caravan was in order, after bowling.
“Dave?”
I felt a nudge at my arm. I looked down to see Apple Bloom looking up at me.
“You all right? You kinda zoned out.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “Just thinking about something.”
With a shrug, she went back to her shake. I had to stop with this zoning out when something was on my mind. Sooner or later, I’d be decried as some kind of spacey weirdo, if I wasn’t saddled with that opinion already.
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Ha! I've finally managed to be caught up on this story after reading all day!
Are you proud of me yet dad? ARE YOU!?!?
Hmmm anyone else notice Dave zones out a lot?
1946226 Yes I am
He's a close friend to Pinkie Pie. A little oddness is to be expected.
Why does the oath remind me of the green lantern oath? Anyway, great story so far.
2812898
I've never actually heard the Green Lantern oath. I'm not an expert on superheroes.
2813175
it's my preferite
3160202
Oh..my..god...Not a second before I got to that line, I said to myself.."I swear if I see a Finding Nemo reference..."
3372767
That's actually, if I remember right, the second time he's referenced the same scene in Finding Nemo.
1946226 you Doctor yet?
2813175 sounds more like the cmc theme song to me.
Maud Pie scares the piss out of me. I mean, What pony can throw a giant boulder like that!?! Bones don't bend like that.... then again she is related to Pinkie so the hole family could be like that....
Found a lil typo.