• Published 27th Jun 2012
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Living in Equestria - Blazewing



A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imagination...

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I-de-a!

After my initial shock, I returned somewhat to my senses and put this turn of events into a better perspective. What authority did Ironmane have to meddle in my affairs? Just how far did his jurisdiction go? How far could he exercise the right to be a nosy jerk? What right had he to gain knowledge of a private conversation?

Did Celestia even know he was extending his authority like this? Was it even worth notifying her of what he’d said? It wouldn’t matter. He was a member of her royal court. Obviously, she invested a lot of trust in him. How would it look if I told him he was meddling in affairs that weren't even foreign? I’d just look like a whiny dipstick who was trying to blame him for some meager little act, all because I took his conduct on our first meeting ill.

I didn’t know whether or not he really had the right to send Scootaloo to an orphanage. Granted, it wouldn’t be difficult for him, as a public citizen and official, to notify city council that she had been an orphan for a long time, and he was reporting her under a sense of charity. He did say he didn't like the idea, but he had to uphold justice in all matters. I hated that kind of logic.

As I was thus mentally engaged, I didn’t notice someone coming up to my shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir. Is something the matter?”

“Huh?”

I looked up. A unicorn mare was standing beside me, looking at me with concern. She had a young, pretty face, like a girl who’s just left her late teen years and was on the cusp of adulthood. She had purple eyes, a pink coat, and a purple, unruly mane. I could just make out her cutie mark: three diamonds, in the shape one would expect on actual rings.

“No, nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”

“You just look so sad, so worried. I was afraid someone had hurt you.”

She had such a kind, gentle voice that it was impossible not to feel touched by its tones.

“I’m fine, really. Thank you for your concern, though. You’re very sweet to ask.”

She smiled warmly.

“If you’re sure you’re all right, then that’s good with me. I’m sorry, but I have to be on my way. I’m planning to fetch my sister and take her here to the park.”

“Oh! Well, by all means, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thank you, sir. Goodbye!”

“Bye.”

With that, she was off on her way. A lot of these ponies were so nice, so considerate. Why couldn’t Ironmane get with the program?

“Davie!”

I whipped around to see Pinkie standing beside me, hopping in place with glee. Standing beside her was none other than Rainbow Dash.

“Pinkie! That was quick. How’d you find her?”

“Oh, I have my ways,” she said, slyly, though I saw her glance off to the side.

Following her gaze, I saw a bizarre looking contraption parked nearby. It looked like a mix between a helicopter and a bicycle, like one of Leonardo da Vinci’s early concept drawings of a flying machine.

“What was with that mare you were looking at?” asked Rainbow. “You checking out her flank or something?”

“What?!” I spluttered. “No! Don’t be sick!”

Rainbow broke into a hearty guffaw, though I didn’t see what was so funny.

“Come on, dude, I’m kidding!” she said, sidling up onto the bench. “So, you called?”

“Yes, actually. Did Pinkie give you the lowdown?”

“An abridged version, but yeah,” she responded, her tone more sober. “Poor Scoot. I always had this nagging feeling in the back of my head about her, but I never listened to it. All the times she’d follow me around, watching me do my tricks. I’d tell her to just go home when she started to get on my nerves, and every time, she’d clam up the rest of the time she was there. I was a real jerk to her, and she wants to be like me?”

“Dashie,” said Pinkie, sadly.

“Rainbow, you’re not a jerk,” I said. “You’re a little rough around the edges, sure, but you’re no jerk. You obviously care a lot about Scootaloo. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so concerned for her last night, and my guess is you wouldn’t have even bothered to show up here on her account.”

Her expression brightened somewhat at this.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. So, you’re trying to find her a new home?”

“Yeah, before the city council finds out and sticks her in an orphanage. It’d kill her if that happened. I’ve got two questions for you, Rainbow, but the second depends on your answering the first.”

“Ok,” said Rainbow, after a moment’s consideration. “Fire away.”

“Would you consider yourself the right pony to be Scootaloo’s guardian?”

The multi-colored mare’s lilac eyes went wide for a moment, but her expression changed to a more troubled one immediately after. She remained like this for several seconds before speaking up again.

“I…I dunno. I mean, yeah, I like the kid, but I’ve got all of my duties as a weather mare. When am I gonna find time for her when I’m busy kicking clouds?”

“Or napping?” asked Pinkie.

This earned her a sour look from Rainbow.

“Too soon, Pinkie,” I muttered.

Sensing the inappropriateness of such a comment, Pinkie zipped her lip, and Rainbow went on.

“Besides, I’m not exactly mother material. Yeah, I’m the Element of Loyalty. Yeah, I’ve performed the Sonic Rainboom three times in my life. Yeah, I won the Best Young Flier’s Competition, but at the end of the day, I’m just another pony.”

“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?" I asked. "It’s great to know you’re still normal despite all the ego-feeding fame.”

“But that’s all she knows about me," said Rainbow, more seriously. "She’s never known the real me like Fluttershy and Derpy do. I mean, the best I could do is maybe give her some flying lessons, if she ever asked me to."

"So, you'd be a better teacher than you would be a mother, is what you're saying," I said.

"Pretty much," said Rainbow, before she added, with a hint of pride, "though I was a bit of an early learner: a pegasus prodigy, you could say. Mom and Dad always told me I was gonna go far."

"I see," I said.

I could picture Rainbow's parents being super-supportive towards her athletic aspirations.

"But," said Rainbow, growing sober again, "even if I don't feel right taking Scootaloo in myself, I still want to help her as best I can. She's grown on me, y'know?"

"I understand," I said, nodding. "Thanks for being honest."

Rainbow gave me a little smile, then asked,

"So, what was the other question?”

“Huh? Oh! Right. If you don’t think you’re capable of adopting Scootaloo, do you at least know anypony who would adopt her?”

“Oh, plenty, but you’re looking for a pegasus, right?”

“Preferably.”

“I know lots of ponies who are really swell, but I don’t think they’d be right for Scootaloo. Take Fluttershy, for example.”

Pinkie looked up suddenly.

“But Fluttershy would make a great mommy!”

“I don’t doubt that, Pinkie,” said Rainbow. “She’s really sweet, and she’s got that motherly instinct with her animals, but that’s with animals. She could barely handle taking care of Scoot and her friends during that sleepover.”

“Ohh, right.”

“I’d come to those conclusions myself,” I said. “So, you don’t know anypony else who would fit the bill?”

Before Rainbow could answer, I felt myself impacted by something colliding with my stomach. Looking down, I saw that a little filly was giving me a big hug with all of her strength, a little filly I recognized.

“Dinky?”

So it was: Derpy’s little filly.

“Hi, Mr. Dave!” she chirped, looking up with those adorable golden eyes.

It looked like she’d gotten used to me after I’d helped her mother out. I heard Pinkie give an ‘aww!’, and, out of the corner of my eye, saw Rainbow grin. The latter leaned over and tousled Dinky’s mane.

“Hey, pipsqueak!” she said, in a tone that reminded me remarkably of one of my aunts greeting me. “Long time no see!”

“Hi, Auntie Rainbow Dash!” said Dinky, hugging the outstretched hoof, bringing a bigger smile to the pegasus’s face.

Well, the ‘aunt’ comparison wasn’t too far off. It was a shame that Rainbow didn’t think she was cut out to be a mother. She was quite good with kids.

“Dinky! There was no need to run off like that!” called a voice, also familiar.

Galloping up with all of her speed came the unicorn mare I’d met only moments ago, the one Rainbow accused me of eyeing. Seriously, how the heck did she come to that conclusion?

When she spotted me, she gave a small “Oh!” of surprise.

“Well! We meet again!” she said, in a pleased voice.

“Hi again,” I said. “Do you know Dinky?”

“Of course! She’s my little sister, after all.”

It took a full 5 seconds for this revelation to piece itself in my brain.

“…Dinky’s sister?”

“Yes.”

“So, that means you’re…you’re Derpy’s-”

“Daughter, yes. Sparkler Hooves, at your service!” she said, giving a polite bow.

It was like my brain was a minefield, and this answer just blew it to smithereens. She was Derpy’s daughter as well?! Just how old was Derpy? Now I wanted more than ever to know how pony age worked. And for that matter, how come I’d never heard mention of her before?

“Sparkler! Great to see you!” said Rainbow. “I almost didn’t recognize you!”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, it’s only been 3 months.”

“But 3 months is forever when you’re away from friends!” interjected Pinkie, who gave Sparkler one of her bone-crushing hugs.

“But…how come Derpy never told me about you?” I asked, numbly, after Pinkie had let her go.

“Oh, well, I haven’t been in Ponyville for a long while,” she explained, after Pinkie let go. “You see, I wanted to get a job to help support the family a little better, so I became an apprentice at a jeweler’s. I was sent out of Ponyville for a few months on a special project: researching gemstones of other countries outside of Equestria, seeing how they prosper beneath foreign soils.”

“Wow!" I said, amazed.

"You’d better watch out, or you’ll make Rarity jealous,” quipped Rainbow.

Sparkler giggled.

“Rarity and I are actually on fairly good terms," she told me, "due to our mutual interest in jewels.”

“Well, it’s great to meet you. I’m Dave.”

Sparkler outstretched her hoof, and I gladly shook it.

“Does your mother know you’re back?”

“No, not yet. I want to make it a surprise, for when she comes back from delivering the mail. I decided in the meantime to take Dinky to the park as a welcome-home surprise. Right, Dinks?”

“Uh-huh!” said Dinky, throwing her tiny hooves around Sparkler’s head. “I’m so happy you’re home again, big sis!”

Sparkler giggled and nose-nuzzled her little sister. I’d already said that a lot of the ponies in Ponyville were good-natured and hospitable, but Derpy and her daughters seemed especially warm and happy, which was always welcome to see. It would melt a heart of ice-covered stone to see their interactions.

“Granted,” said Sparkler, “she was hoping to see her little friends here, but it looks like they’re busy elsewhere.”

“That’s ok, Sparkler,” said Dinky. “They’re probably Crusading again. They’re gonna have the most awesome cutie marks ever!”

“Oh? Are you friends with the Crusaders, Dinky?” I asked.

“Yep!” said Dinky. “They’re always so much fun!”

“Oho, I imagine,” I said.

And that’s when it hit me.

It was like a switch going off in my head, as if an old abandoned factory had suddenly been restored to full power. The cogs in my head suddenly began to turn.

“Hold the phone…” I muttered.

Quick as a blink, I added a new entry to my mental pros and cons list.

Derpy Hooves

Pros: Pegasus, good job, family mare, good income, aided financially by daughter, welcome and neighborly to everypony, youngest daughter friends with Scootaloo

Cons: …

It might have been my inability to think bad of anyone who didn’t explicitly show anything unfavorable, but I could see no cons, and the pros were flooding my brain, making the smile of inspiration on my face grow wider and wider, until I must have looked positively creepy.

“You ok, Davie?” asked Pinkie.

“Dinky,” I said, turning to the little filly, who regarded me with childish curiosity, “would you consider yourself good friends with Scootaloo?”

“Uh-huh!” said Dinky. “She’s so cool when she rides her scooter! She let me ride in her wagon once, too! It was so great! And she knows Rainbow Dash, who knows Mama! Well, actually, she already knows Mama, too, since she does the paper route before Mama delivers the mail.”

It was too perfect to believe.

“That’s it!” I crowed, slapping my fist into my palm.

“What’s it?” asked Pinkie and Rainbow simultaneously.

“Sparkler, when does your mother return home?”

Sparkler looked somewhat put off by my earnestness.

“Well, usually around noon. Why?”

I glanced at my watch. It was 10:45.

“Perfect! Rainbow, Pinkie, I need you two to fetch Scootaloo from Twilight’s. Meet me at Derpy’s with her. This could be our, or, I should say, her only chance.”

Though bewildered by my behavior at first, dawning comprehension came into the faces of the two mares as they swallowed what I said.

“You got it, Dave,” said Rainbow, in a determined way.

“We’ll be there!” said Pinkie.

Sparkler looked completely bewildered, probably thinking I was some kind of madman. Dinky was looking at me with a strange sort of eagerness.

“Is Scootaloo in trouble?” she asked, innocently.

I gazed down at her in surprise. She had astonishing perceptiveness for a filly her age.

“Something like that, kiddo,” I said.

“Are we gonna help her?”

“If everything works out, yes, we’ll do more than that. Pinkie, Rainbow, don’t fail me.”

“On our way, chief!” said Rainbow, with a gallant salute.

She soared off into the sky, and Pinkie, hopping back onto her contraption, took off after her, causing quite a few heads to turn as she ascended.

“What’s this all about?” asked Sparkler.

“Let’s head to your mother’s first, and I’ll explain there. It’s not too safe within a public hearing capacity.”

As we left, however, I reflected how much risk Ironmane had pulled in speaking to me, with no regard for whoever might be listening. Then again, maybe it was just some odd convenience that nopony seemed to have overheard, leaving me the only witness to it. My stay just seemed to be getting weirder and wilder by the minute, but at the moment, this sudden inspiration seemed to cap them all.

Author's Note:

**In light of "Parental Glideance", I have made the proper alterations to what I'd previously written. =)

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