• Published 27th Jun 2012
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Living in Equestria - Blazewing



A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imagination...

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A Chat with Applejack

With the evening approaching, I figured it was due time for Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to start heading home. The three friends were reluctant to separate, of course, but they seemed to know it was inevitable, so they said their goodbyes, promised to meet up again for their next planning session, and then Apple Bloom and Scootaloo packed up their bags.

“If you want,” I said, “I could walk you two home. I mean, I 'm sure you’d be safe yourselves, but it’d be nice to just take a bit of a walk-around on the side, before heading back to Pinkie’s.”

For some odd reason, Scootaloo suddenly looked very uncertain.

“Uh, that’s ok, Dave,” she said. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.”

“Are you sure? It’d be no bother-”

“I said I’ll be fine!” she replied, snappishly.

I recoiled slightly at her harsh tone, but the look on her face told me she regretted it.

“Sorry. I just…I’d rather go home by myself.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at each other, a significant look passing between them.

“Well, all right, if you're sure,” I said.

“Bye.”

She gathered up her bag and hurried out the bedroom door.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“We don’t know,” said Apple Bloom. “She always acts like that whenever we bring up her home.”

“She never wants us to walk with her to her house,” said Sweetie Belle. “We’ve never even seen where she lives.”

I couldn’t help scratching my chin in contemplation.

“That’s odd. You don’t think she's ashamed of her home, do you?”

“Ah don't think so,” said Apple Bloom. “She’s usually the most gung-ho out of all of us most of the time.”

“Well, if she’s going to be evasive about it, I don't think it's my business to pry. I didn't really want to needle her like that."

"She'll be ok," said Sweetie Belle. "She never stays mad for long."

"Well, in any case, do you mind me walking you home, Apple Bloom?” I asked.

“Course not!” said Apple Bloom.

“All right. Good night, Sweetie Belle.”

“Good night, Mr. Dave!”

Apple Bloom and I left the room and exited the Boutique, just in time to see Scootaloo disappear over the horizon, probably on her scooter.

"I hope she really is ok," I said.

"Ah'm sure she is," said Apple Bloom. "If somethin' was wrong, Ah don't think she'd hide it from her friends."

There was sense in that.

"You're right, Apple Bloom," I said, brightening up a little. "Now, what do you say I give you a piggyback ride home?”

She gave me a quizzical expression.

“A what? But you ain’t got any hogs with ya.”

“You’ve never…?" I began, before it hit me. "Oh, I guess not, since you’re all quadrupeds. Well, it’s when you carry a kid on your shoulders, back in my world.”

“Really? That sounds fun!”

“Think so? Well, you’re in for a treat, then, my little pony. Upsie-daisy!”

I picked her up from under her forelegs and scooped her off the ground, making her giggle. I planted her right behind my head, so her little forelegs could settle on top and her back legs settled on my shoulders.

“Wow! The view’s amazin’ up here!” she said.

Suddenly, she wobbled and nearly lost her balance, but I held her steady.

“Why don’t you let me carry that bag for you too? It’s kind of upsetting your balance.”

“Ok! Thanks!”

She un-strapped her bag and handed it to me, whereupon I slung it over one shoulder. Surprisingly, the weight left little impact on me, probably because I’d been used to lugging excruciatingly heavy backpacks around in my days at high school and college. Now Apple Bloom was more at her ease, and I looked up to see her gazing about from her new vantage point. She even waved to one or two ponies, who merely smiled at her cute antics.

“You secure up there, Apple Bloom?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Ok, then. Hold on tight.”

Making sure to keep a firm but gentle grip on her hind hooves, I started off, with her laughing from time to time as I sometimes sped up to surprise her, and all the time she looked around as if seeing Ponyville for the first time. I didn’t doubt this was due to her never seeing the city from 6 feet up in the air, riding on the shoulders of a human, but then again, who ever would have? It was really ironic, when I stopped to think about it: a man being the beast of burden for an equine. At the moment, however, I didn’t really care. Apple Bloom was having fun, so I could stand being a pack mule for a little while.

***

The sky was turning yellowish-orange by the time Apple Bloom and I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. As soon I stepped through the gate, I heard a dull, reverberating thud, followed by a cascade of more thuds. Looking in the direction of the noise, I saw that Applejack was bucking more apples. It was good to see that she was up and about, especially after what had happened last night.

“Hi, Applejack!” crowed Apple Bloom.

Applejack cringed from the volume and turned to face us, but when she saw who it was, she smiled genially

“Hey there, Apple Bloom. Howdy, Dave.”

“Hey, Applejack," I said. "Feeling ok?”

“Sure am! A hard day’s apple bucking always gets the tired kinks out, ’specially after a Pinkie Pie party.”

She then gazed curiously at the yellow filly sitting on my shoulders.

“Whatcha doin’ on Dave’s head like a perchin’ bird, Apple Bloom? You hurt your leg or somethin’?”

“It’s called a piggyback ride, Applejack!" said Apple Bloom. "Mr. Dave says it’s what humans do for their foals for fun!”

I chuckled and looked at the elder Apple, who was smiling at her sister’s enthusiasm.

“I hope I didn’t bring her home too late," I said.

“Nah, you’re fine. It’s ‘round the usual time she gets home after Crusadin', anyway. Did you get your homework done, Apple Bloom?”

“Yep! Mr. Dave even helped me!”

“Did he now?” asked Applejack, pleasantly surprised.

“Well,” I said, modestly, “all I really did was give her a few examples and let her go from there.”

“Still, that was mighty kind of ya, Dave. Thank you.”

“Yeah! Thanks!” said Apple Bloom.

I picked her off my shoulders and held her in front to look her in the face, almost as if I were holding a kitten the same way.

“You’re very welcome, Apple Bloom. I’m just glad I was able to help you and your friends out.”

“Do ya think we’ll be able to play again like that soon? That was lots of fun.”

“Of course. I am an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader, after all.”

“That’s right! You are, and Crusaders stick together no matter what!”

With that, she threw her forelegs around my neck in a big hug. Smiling warmly, I patted her back and set her down, returning her bag at the same time. She re-strapped it on and, with one last eager grin in my direction, galloped off past Applejack toward the farmhouse. The sturdy Earth pony had watched all of it with a very sisterly smile on her face.

“You’re real good with kids, Dave.”

“Am I? I hadn’t noticed.”

Applejack chuckled.

“Why are you so modest? It ain't often that she gets her homework done so soon. She’d always have something she needs me or Big Mac to help with.”

“Big Macintosh helps with her homework?” I asked.

“Yeah, especially when it’s got to do with fancy mathematics.”

She said this adjectival phrase with something like dismissive annoyance, as if it wasn’t her cup of tea.

“Sometimes, I can’t understand what Miss Cheerilee’s thinkin’, givin’ her students work like that.”

“Funny, I never imagined Big Mac as much of a…genius,” I said.

Applejack chuckled again.

“Aw, that’s just his way. He don’t say much, but he’s got a real good head on his shoulders. The farm probably wouldn’t do half as well without his brains or his muscle.”

“Brain and brawn. A dying combination these days.”

“Boy, you said it. So, what did Apple Bloom mean by ‘play again’?”

“Oh, that? Well, we just had a bit of a tickle fight after I was ‘sworn in’. I was just goofing around.”

“Aww, well that’s sweet of ya. Y’all got any siblings of yer own? Seems like yer a natural at playin’ around.”

At the word ‘siblings’, my cheeriness faded a little. It was yet another reminder of what I’d left behind in coming here to Equestria.

“Sugar? Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Applejack asked.

“No, Applejack, it’s ok,” I said, finally. “It’s just...yes, I do have a sibling. An older sister.”

“Oh! What’s she like?’

“She’s...Well, see, that’s the thing. When you’re asking a younger sibling to describe their older one, are you always gonna expect unbiased answers?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Not that Apple Bloom ever said anything bad about you!” I added, hastily. “Nor do I even think there’s anything bad about you.”

But Applejack just smiled.

“Oh, don’t get your hair in a tangle. Ah never suspected that. Just tell me honestly what you think of her.”

“Honestly?" I repeated, with a wry smile. "Funny you should say that, Applejack: Twilight told me all about the whole Elements of Harmony thing.”

“Did she, now? Well, shucks, stuff like that only comes around once in a blue moon. Sometimes Ah plum forget Ah’m some kind of Equestrian heroine.”

“But that’s what I like," I said. "Heroes who don’t let their fame go to their heads. Heroes that stay humble, who don’t care if a problem is big or small.”

“That’s mighty sweet of ya to think so, hun, but Ah think we’re gettin’ a little off-topic.”

“Oh! Right, sorry," I said. "Well, my sister’s kind of my polar opposite, you might say. I prefer to be by myself, while she enjoys a larger crowd. She’s more into sports, I’m more into reading or video games. We had the usual brother-sister arguments that come with growing up together. I’m sure you know how it goes.”

“Ah sure do," said Applejack, nodding. "Ah told ya about the mealtime battles Big Mac and I would have, but sometimes we’d get on each other’s nerves just cuz we were bored.”

“Oh?”

“It’d start off small, like pokin’ each other, or pullin’ faces. Big Mac used to tease me by saying I had a stallion’s appetite as a filly, call me Applefat. I’d give him a good hoof in the chest for it, but Ah knew he wasn’t bein’ mean about it. Ah mean, hey, I do like to eat.”

My eyes roved over Applejack’s figure. As I had noted before, she was a little bulkier than her friends, with a bit of a belly and somewhat thicker legs. However, I wanted to be safe in assuming that it was more muscle than fat.

“So, did those teasings ever go beyond that?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’d rassle if we were really gettin’ on each other’s nerves. Big Mac would hush up for a week if Ah won. No boy likes admitting they were beaten by a girl.”

“Even these days, I have to agree," I said, chuckling. "My sister and I never went that far, but we’d bicker endlessly. Nowadays, I wonder if, after all, it wasn't all just my fault.”

“Whaddya mean?” asked Applejack, cocking her head to the side.

There was no going back now. I’d stepped into the territory of no return. With a heavy sigh, I said,

“I was a weird kid, Applejack. I used to let what I saw on television and in movies fill my brain, and make me act accordingly, saying whatever weird thing came to mind. I guess you could say I was a media junkie, and had no control over it. Some days, I wonder what people back then would think of me now: that kid who said weird stuff out of turn and context, who cried easily, who exploded at the littlest things. Would they even understand that I never meant to make them uncomfortable?”

I sat myself down on the grass, staring somberly at the horizon. Even to this day, memories like that couldn’t escape me. They would float into my head, unbidden, uncalled for: images of the people I used to know, who felt happy to know me, only to be weirded out by my oddball behavior and sporadic temper. I hadn’t known what was wrong with me until I was older, but even knowing the cause didn’t change the guilt I felt at making all of those people so uncomfortable around me. They didn’t deserve that.

I felt something on my back, and turned to see that Applejack had seated herself beside me, placing a hoof on my back. Her green eyes were full of understanding and sympathy.

“Ah’ve only known you a day, sugarcube,” she said, “but even then, Ah feel like Ah know what you are: a boy who’s got a good heart, who hates seein’ anyone around him sad, and wants to help in any way he can. You don’t gotta keep beatin’ yerself up like this. Ah may not know everythin’ about you, but Ah’ve got a feelin’ you ain’t half as bad as yer makin’ yerself sound.”

The feeling of melancholy that had settled over me was ebbing away. It was like Applejack’s kind, honest words were driving away the fog that was clouding my heart and brain. What she said hadn’t exactly moved me to tears, but it still warmed me up considerably.

“Thanks, Applejack. That really means a lot to me,” I said.

Applejack smiled and nuzzled my cheek warmly.

“Anytime, sugarcube.”

“Applejack!” came Granny Smith’s creaky voice from the direction of the farm. “Dinner’s almost ready!”

“Comin’, Granny!” Applejack called back. “Ah’d better get goin’, Dave, but thanks again fer keepin’ Apple Bloom company.”

“And thank you for cheering me up,” I said.

“T’weren’t nothin’,” said Applejack, kindly. “Just don’t be a stranger, y’hear? Yer practically family now.”

“I’ll try not to be,” I said, feeling another wave of warmth at being called ‘family’. “Good night, Applejack.”

“G’night, Dave.”

With that, Applejack got up and trotted off toward the barn. I got to my feet, watching her go, and then turned and wended my own way home.

***

“Davie!”

“Hey, Pink-WHOA!”

As soon as I entered Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie had spotted me and tackled me like a dog greeting its master, knocking me against the wall. Thankfully, she didn’t kiss me in the same doggish fashion, but she was acting as if I’d been away for weeks.

“Do you greet everyone this way?” I asked.

“Only the ones I really missed! I would’ve given one to Twilight when she had her headache yesterday, but I thought that’d just make it worse, so I toned it down for her. Actually, the same thing happened with Fluttershy two weeks ago. She caught a cold and couldn’t leave the house for days. I was so, so sad for her, and when she was all better, I was so happy I gave her the biggest Pinkie hug I could manage, and you know what she said?”

Here she put on an impressively close impression of Fluttershy’s mild voice,

“‘Um, Pinkie Pie, I appreciate hugs just like everypony else, but since I just got finished being sick, a simple nuzzle will do next time. If that’s ok, I mean.’”

Pinkie giggled.

“She’s so silly, isn’t she?”

“Uh, right,” I said, trying my darnedest to wrap my head around the stream of anecdotal nonsense she had just laid before me. “Pinkie, I appreciate the fact that you’re happy to see me, but I was only away for one day.”

“I know, silly billy, but I was so worried for you! I didn’t know what you were going to do without me to help you! And Gummy! Don’t get me started on how anxious Gummy was for you!”

Now, the thought of that derp-eyed little alligator expressing any facial emotions beyond blank indifference was laughable, but I said nothing about that, just to humor Pinkie.

“I’m not a baby, Pinkie, I’m a grown man. I know how to handle things myself.”

I didn’t mean to sound so annoyed when I said it, but it was a little grating to be treated like this. That is, ignoring my indecisiveness when Pinkie left me that morning.

“What I meant was," I said, "you don’t have to worry. I was completely fine today.”

“Aw, I knew you would be. I was just playing with you. So, how was your day? WAIT!”

She put a hoof to my lips.

“Don’t tell me yet! Wait until dinner! We still have some customers to get to before we close.”

“Whatever you say, Pinkie,” I replied, muffled because she still hadn’t removed her hoof.

When she finally did, she got off of me, allowing me to stand up, and I went to sit at a table as she bounced away toward the service counter, where a blue unicorn with a mane striped with white and darker blue was patiently waiting. Reminded me of toothpaste.

***

During that night's dinner, consisting of the remaining wheat balls Pinkie had made from last night with corn cakes on the side (not altogether a bad meal), I told her about my day’s adventures. Contrary to what one might have guessed about Pinkie at first glance, namely that she was completely spacey and silly, she was actually a very good listener, staring wide-eyed in between bites as I narrated. She laughed uproariously when I imitated the voices I’d used for when I read to Twilight, when I told her about how I fainted, and about spontaneously singing and dancing with Rarity. She ‘aww’-ed when I described winning Twilight’s admiration by agreeing to eventually go beyond just the interview, as well as my time spent with the Crusaders.

Pinkie said my day sounded ‘way more jam-tasticaly fun-packed’ than hers, though hers was nothing to complain about, as she did have several pleasant encounters with some of her friends around town. One of these had actually caught her by surprise, as it’d come out of nowhere. Apparently, a few months ago, a donkey named Cranky had moved in to Ponyville, but had sourly rejected all of Pinkie’s attempts at forging a friendship, simply wishing to be alone. Things only got worse when she not only wrecked his toupee by accident, but also unintentionally ruined his book of precious memories. She had tried desperately to patch things up with him, and finally came to a spellbinding inspiration: she knew another donkey named Matilda, who had a book similar to Cranky’s, and wouldn’t you know it, she turned out to be his old lover, whom he had spent years searching Equestria for, when she’d been living all that time in the town he’d chosen as his site of retirement. For going above and beyond trying to make Cranky happy, he accepted her apology and named her a friend, much to her explosive joy.

In any case, that day, the donkey couple had actually come to Sugarcube Corner that day as customers, when Cranky had never done so before. From what I gathered, the two were both doing very well, and had even hinted at getting married some time in the near future, much to Pinkie’s delight. Fortunately, they had (politely) asked her to hold off on planning a pre-wedding party until things were affirmative. Of course, my pastel-pink pony pal was only too happy to oblige.

Dinner passed pleasantly, and then Pinkie dropped the bomb that she had planned a super dessert for after.

“Is it leftovers of the party refreshments?” I asked, not really being serious.

Pinkie giggle-snorted.

“No, silly! It’s something I worked on in between customer orders! Wait right here!”

She zipped off into the kitchen, and in a few moments, returned with two big slices of chocolate cake. Even as it approached, I knew without a doubt that it was a genuine chocolate ganache, the sort of cake that’s so full of chocolate, it should be called something hilariously deadly, like ‘Chocolardiac Arrest’ or “Chocozuma’s Revenge’.

“Wow! Pinkie, how long did it take to make this?” I asked, as she set the plates down.

“About 6 hours. I thought you’d like something special after being out and about all day, so I started as soon as I got back. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were totally on board with it! They even supervised when I was too busy to check on it!”

“Well, that’s great.”

I dug my fork in and took a bite. It was unbelievable. It was if I’d gotten it straight from a corner bakery. Oh, wait, this was a bakery. Stupid me. Anyway, it was pure chocolate decadence, on par with Bon Bon’s sweets from the party.

“Pinkie, this is delicious. Sometimes, it’s so easy to take for granted what the people who make these kinds of things have to go through to make them, but since I’m sitting right across from the chef herself, I can honestly say I appreciate every minute of effort you put into this masterpiece of deliciousness.”

Pinkie smiled wide and warm.

“Thanks, Davie. I’m so glad you like it.”

“The only thing is, with cake like this, it’ll be impossible to eat more than one slice.”

“Tell me about it. Good thing I made a whole cake! We’ll have enough for days!”

I laughed.

“That’s the spirit!”

It’s kind of weird to say it, but after such a hectic, busy, and weird day, just that moment there, sitting in the empty bakery with Pinkie, just chatting and enjoying homemade cake, having a good old time reflecting on what we’d done that day, was the best part of it. I guess it’s true what they say: it’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.

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