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There's been another sighting of the mysterious Mare Do Well...but this time, all of Rainbow Dash's friends plead ignorance, insisting that they've put aside their costumes for good. Rainbow Dash is determined to uncover the masked mare's true identity before she's humiliated yet again, but this time around, the vigilante seems especially interested in her as well. Will Rainbow Dash be able to solve the mystery before the culprit takes the hoax too far? Or is she in danger of losing not only her mind, but her heart?

Featured on Equestria Daily.

First Published
1st Dec 2011
Last Modified
11th Feb 2012
#1 · 151w, 21h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

Goooooood

#2 · 151w, 21h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

I have to admit, I didn't have high hopes for this when I first saw it. But after a nice read, I can say that you've captured my interest.

I have a sneaking suspicion of who it is, but if I'm right then my mind will be overloaded with fuck.

#3 · 151w, 20h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

Nice, I wanna see more chapters, gottam read some romance.:rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 151w, 20h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

Its scootaloo isn't it

#5 · 151w, 20h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

If someone bought the costume off Rarity, surely it has to be one of the Mane 6, as like the story says, they're the only ones who know who Mare Do Well really is/was.

Thats how I see it anyway. I'm probably wrong. If I'm right though, my money is on Pinkie - buying a new one to replace the one that was supposedly somehow eaten by Gummy.

#6 · 151w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

well write more already:rainbowwild:(jk no need to rush)

#7 · 151w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

>>47052.                                                                                                                                                                                 Who are you thinking of? I'm picturing Derpy Hooves, myself. That would be hilarious. But in all seriousness I bet that it's one of the ponies she wrote off from the very beginning - either Applejack or Fluttershy.  

#8 · 151w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

I'm thinking Pinky Pie...The whole nimble thing just seems to fit her image, as well as the stalker thing, and the whole comment about it being fun to scare people. Pinky Pie's a known prankster, so it's probably her. Maybe. Unless it's like, Gilda or something, which would be hilarious but weird.

#9 · 151w, 18h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

I kinda almost think it's Fluttershy. The irony is hilarious, and there are a few context clues. Fluttershy's excuse is "she hates the spotlight, it was embarrassing" and soon after, Mare Do Well comments on avoiding the spotlight. The little things. I'm either really amazing at this or the author is fucking with me, in which case:

Well done, sir.:moustache: Hope you update soon, this is intriguing.

I am going for the pony I thought it was when i watched the episode.:trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright:

Fox

Scootaloo.. In stilts? Could she fit into the costume? Guess not, just wishful thinking.

That said, it's gotta be Pinkie. Bouncing, pranking, and putting on a show with the obliviousness at the picnic no doubt. Plus she probably popped out of a plant with "FOREVER...." as RD was knocking on Rarity's door...

Hey, if anyone cares, the reason all the comments say they're in response to chapter 2 when I obviously only have chapter 1 out is because I'm retarded and botched my chapters. :derpytongue2: Oopsie daisy. :pinkiehappy: If anyone knows how to delete chapters, feel free to enlighten me.

I wasn't expecting so much positive reception so quickly. I'm...I'm flattered! And don't worry, chapter two will be out soon. As in, likely by tomorrow.

dumtidumtidum..... anymore cliffhangers today and i get a feeling i'll jump off the next one i find...:derpyderp2:

great story sofar, keep it up :twilightsmile:

Great stuff, I really like it. It's nice how you slightly hint towards whatever sort of personality Mare Do Well has not from dialogue, but from the way you word the occurring events from her point of view. Just a nice touch, that's all. Looking forward to what's coming next. :twilightsmile:

#15 · 151w, 8h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

Even though I personally HATED the episode with Mare Do Well, for reasons I won't rant about here on your story, I found this very interesting and you've pipped my curiosity. Besides, I'm a sucker for well-written romances when it involves the mane six. Keep going!

Oh, and I'm not gonna wager a guess. Usually, all those that wager guesses are wrong anyway, and/or the author purposely ignores them to make sure that they don't see something coming. That and...I can't 100% say who I think it is for sure yet anyway. :derpytongue2:

#16 · 151w, 3h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

this is good, i loved Mare do Well in that episode and i'm happy to see a fic has started about her, i'll be keeping an eye on this, good work

#17 · 151w, 1h ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

You're going to WRITE MORE! :flutterrage:

Aren't you?:raritystarry:

#18 · 150w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1: First Sight ·

>>47091

My thoughts exactly!!:pinkiehappy: I'm looking forward to how this all plays out!

>>48057

Oh, look at that, I accidentally wrote chapter two while you were gone. :derpytongue2:

Guys, if you want more chapters, you'll have to keep boosting my ego through comments and ratings. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

Its good, but i want to also point out my own feelijngs on mare do well

her friends only did it because dash is not what one would call a listener (She has a very thick head) plus they were probably afraid that something bad might happen (Case in points, rd trying to say her catchphrase when she should be saving those construction worker, too busy to notice the balloonist in trouble when she was signing autograph and even then to focus on bragging too notice someone was already there. and the biggest one, the dam, seriously she should have gotten a unicorn or a carpenter pony to seal it up sense that be safer than using her hoof, letting the pressure build and doing the stupid thing and remove said hoof letting the water surge out stronger and breaking the dam.)

so while i admit they could have use a different approach they only did it to make sure her ego doesn't cause a accident, they didn't do it to be mean.

btw... am i the only who thought rd should have realize there must have been more than ONE mare do well when she sprouted wings and a horn, or the hints her friends gave her.

but still good story, whoever this new Mare do well is though she has feeling for RD.

I can understand RD's frustration. It's bad enough to be shown up and humiliated, but to be paraded around after being "saved" by the object of her humiliation? Sure she would've been severely wounded if she had hit the ground, but she's like a member of Jackass, it'd heal in a week. I hope it's all worth it in the end, Mystery Mare, because I get the feeling we're approaching the Heartbreak Event Horizon. Or, Rainbow might surprise us and think the gesture is intensely romantic.

Consider this as a comment to "boost your ego"

NOW SIT DOWN AND WRITE MORE BEFORE I SLAP YOU WITH AN ARROW IN THE KNEE

>>48225

At any rate, keep updating Mr. Author. This is one of the few stories that I have trouble predicting what comes next, and I like that.

I REQUIRE MOAR!

oooh, and so the plot thickens! Found a bunch of errors though:

"But although the circumstances weren't -idperfect-, she'd gotten to catch Rainbow Dash, and holding her for even the briefest moment had been more than enough to satisfy her." either -ideal- or -perfect-

"At least this way, there was -on- doubt as to who the hero was, here." -no-

"Rainbow Dash opened her eyes with a groan. Her entire body ached, down to her -every- last feather." -very-

"Apparently you were flying in an electrical storm and -was- struck by lightning." -were-

"she had no idea why she was choosing now of all times to be as stubborn as Applejack, since she knew very well that she'd -some- something stupid." done?

"Just like before, it was as if the mare was taking great pains to let Rainbow catch just enough glimpses of her prey to keep her interested in the -chas itselfe-" -chase iteslf-

"Twilight -though- I'd just imagined seeing you, but I knew I was right." -thought-

"She looked immensely uncomfortable. "I...I'd thought there must have been some kind of -understanding-," -misunderstanding-

"Rainbow Dash, as the center of attention - something that she wasn't especially enjoying for -one- - walked in the middle" -once-

If you need a pre-reader, I'd be happy to help. PM me if you're interested.

>>48221

Nah, there's no way something like that would strike Rainbow Dash as romantic. If she ends up falling for Mare Do Well (without even knowing who it really is I might add) their relationship would probably be more of the slap-slap-kiss variety, with Rainbow Dash being all pissy and Mare Do Well revelling in it and being all "haha you know you love me" when Rainbow Dash acts tsundere. At least, that's the impression I'm getting.

Did anyone else notice Applejack arrived late when they came to meet her in the alley? *shifty eyes*

>>48238

ARGH HOW FRUSTRATING :twilightangry2:

I am the worst at grammar and spelling. My problem is that I type fast, but not well, so I end up making stupid mistakes. :twilightblush:

I'm making the corrections you pointed out and will seriously consider your offer to be a prereader. I'd really, really appreciate it, actually, so thanks in advance; I'll probably end up taking you up on it.

Interesting.

"and she knew exactly what was going to happen and what she had to do when Rainbow Dash was first hit. She wasted no time springing into action as the pegasus first began to plummet to the ground."

That would heavily suggest Pinkie Pie. Which would be kind of lame, bit of an anticlimax.

"She moved fast; almost impossibly so, like a bolt of lightning herself."

That one is harder. Pinkie doesn't move per se, she just appears. So that leaves one of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire? Which would also be a bit cliche. Or maybe one of the celestial sisters, which would most likely be Luna, but that seems extremely unlikely and only possible if Luna has changed her appearance.

Last possibility I can come up with is Trixie, providing she can predict the future now. Not entirely sure how she would move so fast, but yeah...

I just hope it is not any of these and that I will be pleasantly surprised.

By the way, I'm totally gonna throw in as many red herrings as I can. :pinkiehappy: Have fun guessing!

I agree with Thatoneguy--I too suspect Mare Do Well is approaching the heartbreak event horizon. Act wisely, Mare Do Well!

Things I like: Lots! I like the pacing of the story and the descriptions and details. I like the mood surrounding Mare Do Well's appearances. I like the guessing game, and how my guesses keep shifting. One moment I'm sure it's Pinkie (pranks, fun, agility), the next I think it's Fluttershy (not liking the spotlight), and a few times I think maybe even Rarity (wanting her return to be theatrical). Though maybe the answer is from left field, and it's Applejack or Twilight.

I do hope we the readers get a firmer idea of who the Masked Mare is as time goes on, though, as I think it would add to the enjoyment to know more about who she is, what she feels towards Rainbow, and why she feels this way about Rainbow. Right now, we know that she is ... infatuated? in love? attracted? ... to RD, but that's about it. I understand that keeping us all guessing right along with Rainbow is part of the game, but knowing and caring about MDW's motives is important too. Gives us incentive to root for her. :)

I also like that, so far, you've set it up so that Mare Do Well really only knows that RD is a bit irritated with her reappearance and not that the reappearance truly upsets RD and is causing her to doubt her friends. I would hope that, if Mare Do Well knew just how upset Rainbow is getting, she'd call off the game and confess. (This is assuming MDW is one of the Mane 6, of course, but I'm pretty sure she is.)

A minor critique: I'm unclear in this chapter whether anyone witnessed Mare Do Well catching Rainbow after her fall. Because it sounded like the two were far away from anyone else, so no one would be there to see, but then Nurse Redheart somehow knew that MDW had caught RD. I found the writing confusing on this point (though perhaps intentionally? my apologies if I'm being dense and missing something!), which is a bummer because it affects my current Guess As To Who Mare Do Well is.

If no one actually witnessed the save, then my current guess is Pinkie Pie, 'cause: "She just swept in from nowhere, all vooom and whoosh, and then we saw she was carrying you ..." She's talking like she was actually there. Which could just be Pinkie being excitable, but ... Really, it's still the picnic that makes me think Pinkie. I could totally see Pinkie justifying to herself, "Well, Gummy DID eat my costume, so it's not a LIE! I just didn't say that I got a NEW costume ... "

And I can totally see Rarity being charmed by the romantic nature of it all (if MDW explained why she wanted the costume) and agreeing to help out. Unless Rarity herself is donning the costume--declaring her love through overwrought, romantic heroics would be very like her. We only have her word that the costume was bought by someone, after all ...

No, no, no. I'm still sticking with my guess being Pinkie. That's the only possibility that works without someone having outright lied, and I like the idea that no one is actually lying to Rainbow. Because lying to Rainbow would be mean, even if it is for the greater cause of Love.

I was suspecting Pinkie Pie under the reason that "how can Gummy have torn her costume apart when he doesn't have teeth?", but this chapter put the spotlight off her when she talked as if she'd been in the crowd when Mare Do Well saved Dash.

Look at me, looking for clues like it's a crime novel :twilightsheepish:

At any rate, I tracked this story just before writing this comment. It's captivating, mostly because I wonder who it is, but also simply because it's enjoyable :pinkiehappy:

>>48254

Thank you so much for the praise! I absolutely love long comments, and now I feel all flattered and squishy inside.

I did, however, want to quickly acknowledge the critique you offered. Firstly; don't worry, Mare Do Well's motives will be investigated further later on. I just want it to be a gradual thing, so it'll probably be slower paced. Also, about the circumstances surrounding Rainbow Dash's fall; I'm sorry if the ambiguousness seemed jarring, but it was intentionally left vague for the time being so that it could come up again in the next chapter. So, yeah, the confusion was intentional.

I have a guess, but I'll keep it to myself.

I did like the pink herring you threw in there.

I think we all know who's REALLY Mare Do Well. :twistnerd:

In all seriousness, this has to be the best Mare Do Well fic on here, as well as being one of the better MLP fics I've read hands down, the suspense is nearly killing me while I wait for the eventual conclusion... though I suspect the pony I'm rooting for :twilightsheepish: isn't going to be MDW.

So when do we get the next chapter?

#36 · 150w, 6d ago · 1 · · Chapter 2: Stormy Weather ·

Calling it - Mare Do Well is Spike :moustache:

spike is too small :3 blah

MAKE MORE, WE WANT AND NEED MOAR

i like it very much so far, however dash telling twilight that their friendship will be over if she's really pulling that again etc etc struck me as WAYYYYY too harsh... doesn't really fit dash's personality either :applejackunsure:

anyhow, keep up the great writing :twilightsmile:

Keep going BRO-ny! Besides some technical errors in spelling grammar and punctuation, this IS a riveting story! :twilightsmile:

Needs ego stroking to continue huh? Well then... *gets out paintbrush* :duck: Lets see that nice big ego of yours!

....

....

brushie brushie brushie brushie!

>>48545

Well, that episode was a rough experience for Dash. Her friends just as easily could have just started saving the day without a disguise, and taken things from there. But they pretty much humiliated her in front of the entire town's population, and may have even been responsible for the disasters they averted (don't tell me it wasn't suspicious that they were ALWAYS there in the nick of time). Twilight gave Dash her word that she had nothing to do with the Mare Do Well imitator, so if it turns out Twilight has anything to do with it... Well, friends don't lie to your face to cover up a scheme that is basically crushing your self-image. It's not a stretch to say Rainbow Dash would really cut things off. All it took for Dash to ditch Gilda was the mistreatment of her then new friends.

I'm calling it... It's Tom.

That's why Rarity won't say anything, she made every promise never to speak of it again...

In all seriousness though this is kind of great.

Excellent story, I'm certainly looking forward to more.

Alot of people seem to have forgotten that essentially anyone who looked outside their window in that alley during the original reveal could be a prime suspect.  So that's the mane6, Cherry and anyone else that was peeking.

>>48724 Excellently said. I couldn't agree more with this.

>>48765

That's it, story's over. You guessed it; there's no point in continuing. :facehoof:

In all seriousness, I am shocked and disgusted that no one has guessed it yet when it's so obviously *SPOILER ALERT* Steven Magnet.

:scootangel:

AGH! The cliffhanger, it is eating at my mind! I am trying desperately to figure out who the hell the new "Mare Do Well" could be, but I have only narrowed it down to AppleJack, Pinkie Pie, or a side character.

DE CLIFF HANGER. I'M FALLING OFF.

I dunno why, but I keep thinking Lyra for so e reason...

as we the bronys, we demand MOAR! MOAR! MOAR! :facehoof:

P.s this is on my moms iPad so I can't login without stupid auto correct. But my actuall name is rainbowdash99. Wait, I can copy and paste this... Ok, this is maybe a smudge off topic. Anyways, write MOAR. Otherwise I'll have some new cupcakes... :pinkiecrazy:

Wait... I just read it.. Your comment, as this is my second one... And may I ask this in all due respect...

Who the HECK is Steven magnet?

>>49047

That's the fan nickname for the sea serpent Rarity soothed with her generosity in the second episode. It comes from the hilariously inaccurate automatic captioning option that YouTube has. I don't know the exact details, but there's a scene where he says "sea serpent" or whatever and it's captioned as "Steven Magnet," so people ran with that, declaring that it must be his name. Screenshot included below.

THE MORE YOU KNOOOOOOOW

Aye, as I always say...

You can sleep when you're dead.

Another glorious chapter. You're heroic.

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