D-damn it...

P-p-p-pinkie?!

*Resigned sigh*

I don't know what to think anymore.

Also, what's with this chapter's formatting? XD

edit ;;

Pinkie does break the fourth wall at times and PinkieDash is pretty popular but...

*slams forehead onto desk*

edit 2 ;;

This chapter wasn't so bad, answered a few questions even.

c:

But..

PINKIE?

XD

Really hard to get over that.

I thought it was Twilight until last chapter.

I don't think it should've been Pinkie, at the very least... but, it makes sense in a Pinkie sort of way...

I expect alternate endings and whatnot now.

...yeah, I think I'm gonna get to working HARD on that parody now...

>>188897188897

Only if it's either Zecora or Derring Do under the mask.

This was perfect. I figured it out about three days ago. The duality of Pinkie and the focus on her and Dash's relationship in this story are the things that cemented that it had to be and SHOULD be her. It wouldn't be right to suddenly focus on another character in the story other than Pinkie when we didn't see that much meaningful interactions from the others but her.

This chapter was a weird departure from the others, and a big risk to take at such an important moment. But it was good. The dialogue shines all by itself, and that's what the audience really needed to see. Without being potentially bogged down, we get the good stuff. In theory

And it works well enough, I guess, but I don't know if it was the best option. Everything was leading up to this, and there's so much going on in this scene and in these characters minds that I would have liked to see. It feels lacking somewhat. This was not the moment to skimp, because there's just so many things you can almost see in your mind's eyes that these characters are thinking or doing that I would have liked to have seen.

That said, it was an interesting stylistic choice and I applaud your courage to experiment with your writing and grow even in the middle of things.

>>188890188890

by in a pinkie sort of way. do you mean in a completely unexpected way?

I also thought that this was a Twidash fic

Then again, going over your other fics... You seem to be a supporter of rainbow pie

Pinkie? Son I am disappoint. Truth be told I was hoping it would be applejack, twilight or rarity the whole time. I think it would have added a good dynamic to the story. But with the whole pinkie pie being skitzo thing, and the fact she had so much face time I think it had to have been the inevitable conclusion. I just wish I had been proven wrong. It just seems to me to be a total cop-out to blame it on pinkies split personality disorder, but you're the writer and this was your idea. It was one hell of a story, I enjoyed it. But I can't wait for alternate endings.

Yay` pinkie! Just had to comment about this on both chapters. Yeah! lol

>>188920188920

Yeah, pretty much. The reasoning was solid, but nonsensical at the same time. I know that doesn't make sense, okay?

I was really hoping it was Twilight (or at least Rarity or Applejack) simply because the unmasking wouldn't be the conclusion. There would be many hurt feelings to patch up, many things to explain, and more, deeper interactions with more than two characters as they attempt to patch up their friendship through the end.

The story itself was wonderful, I just found the conclusion to be... well, anticlimactic.

And this is from a PinkieDash supporter, mind you.

I still believe it could have been twilight xD

But still a nice chapter :)

That was beautiful. Best thing I've read in a long time.

I... I feel like I need a cigarette.

To be honest I was really hoping that it would not be pinkie. I sort of knew it would be her, and it was obviously going to at least be one of Rainbow Dash's friends...but I don't think any of them really fit Mare Do Well very well (in my opinion of course). An OC most likely would have been impossible since there would be no way to define the character, which is too bad because I think that would have been my Ideal. Nonetheless you've done a great job with the story and the explanation of Pinkie's actions fit well, I could only hope to write fanfiction half as good as you.

A sad sad day when my fav fic goes away

Pinkie  - that is the way it should be! Ignore the haters, because Rainbow Pie rules

It doesn't seem like many other people are happy with Mare Do Well being Pinkie - i'm kind of surprised by that. I'm glad it was - I think it fits, and her explanation of it amuses me no end. I can just picture her holding little bits of the costume out to Gummy trying to get him to maul it.

The chase sequence was, in my opinion, extremely well written - it's tense, exciting, dramatic and the way it's written is excellent - it contrasts the slow build up and...i'm not sure what to call it...psychological maybe...nature of the rest of the story without losing the feeling and quality that makes it so good. That, and Rainbow Dash harassing people in the street about superheroes is somehow just so perfect it's scary.

I think Dash's reactions throughout the explanation are really well done - she remains aggressive and rather nasty throughout, but at the same time she's being a lot more forgiving than anyone has any right to expect, and she never once plans on giving up on her friends. I'm impressed that you've had her grow so much and so believably as a character without changing her personality all that much.

I can't help but notice that the ending of the story is kind of the reverse of the scene in which Pinkie first confesses - instead of running away from her and Pinkie's feelings Dash chases her (knowingly or not) down and forces them both to deal with the reality of the situation. That, for me, was excellent - did you mean it to be that way?

I think i've been rambling for a bit too long so I shall end this by saying that somehow, even though we've only seen another side to Pinkie a handful of times in the show for obvious reasons, your version captures the feel of her really well and never really felt out of character - except as Mare Do Well, of course, but even then I can totally picture her doing that.

Well done, and thank you. This was worth waiting for.

>>188897188897 yes please do.

Im still disappointed it could have been so much more. I know some people will be happy but I have to say it was very disappointing ending for me at least. Its not a bad ending it is very well done and explains a lot, i just wish it was not Pinkie Pie.

I will say this I shall continue to fallow you and read your stories because they are wonderfully written and i was always looking forward to them.

I thank you sir for seeing this story to the end.

May you always find inspiration in the smallest things, to write the tales that bring sadness and joy.

>>188918188918 >>188989188989

Ditto. c:

I have a happy.

Best fic, favourite author. Nothing else to say.

I am rather disappointed. I was really hoping it would be Twilight. Oh well. Great story overall though.

>>188897188897

Twidash perhaps?

.......I'm not really one to say this, but....RUINED FOREVER!!!

I mean, seriously, what a cop out. You put in so many hints into it being either Twilight or Rarity, you had a couple of scenes were you had Pinkie Pie ruled out, But here you are, making Pinkie Pie MDW And making her have two personalities that both want Dash. Hell, it would've been better if you had Rainbow Dash decline MDW's love, apologize to Pinkie and be her lover. It would've been better than this. It actually ruined the entire story for me.

And to those who would be like "Oh, but the ending shouldn't be important, just the experience that you had reading the story" or something like that, Even the best or good stories can turn people off by the ending. for example, there was this one fanfic of MLP where both Applejack and Rarity are trying to win Twilights heart and, for some reason, the author decided to make Twilight actually be in love with Zecora, even though there was probably no hints towards TwiCora by the time it was released or in the story. It was

I'm sorry if I'm sounding pretty harsh, but when you make a bad twist like this, don't expect any mercy from the readers. I wouldn't actually be surprised if you only did this just because of the poll that you made last year.

I like pinkie being MDW, screw the haters.

I have mixed feelings with this chapter and after finding out that Mare Do Well was Pinkie Pie. **wait, this isn't a hate review :D**

You made it seem as though this was going to be some big mystery to be solved. A clue here and a clue there with a mass load of red herrings everywhere. It's a bit of a disappoint that it turns out to be the obvious answer that everyone has been thinking since the beginning. As a mystery story that this was led to have been it failed a long time ago.

Overall this story was wonderful! With the announcement of leaving red herrings everywhere to trip up the reader that had to be the biggest one and that was mighty clever of you, if that was your intention from the start. The meetings between Rainbow and Mare Do Well, damn they were always heated, just didn't know what she was going to do or say next or how Rainbow was going to react. I was really rooting for Mare Do Well for the whole story, she came across a bit obsessed but you can tell that she was putting her heart into it and that she really loved Rainbow. Pinkie wanted to stop, but her love for Rainbow drove her on long after she was tired.  I know that really isn't a good thing because of some of the things Pinkie said about hating Mare Do Well, but it still shows heart and how much she cared about Rainbow to be someone she hated because she wanted to see her that badly. The emotional turmoil that the characters went though really really made this story an entertaining read. It was a bit repetitive at times when we were reading Rainbow's thoughts, but I greatly enjoyed reading about Rainbow really exploring herself and really coming to face the truth of what was going on. As she said, she was forced to confront a lot of issues that she had, Her trust in her friends was put to the test and she nearly went crazy because of it (I'm glad she didn't).

This chapter was quite interesting to read and really added a lot to the story, I'm glad that you put this out with the last chapter. It really opens up Pinkie's character and it really makes the choice of Pinkie as Mare Do Well make sense (no matter how much Tails wines [I was getting rather sick of it tbh]). I greatly enjoyed the format that you went with this one....It just added something and I don't quite know what it is, but it's perfect for this chapter. It almost seemed to make everything stand-still, like it was just only them. This 100% dialogue was awesome.

Mare Do Well being Pinkie Pie...as I said I have mixed feelings about it and even though as I said the ending really makes her choice understandable it was still an overall disappointment AND YET I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED!! Yeah...I don't get it either. Kinda feeling both at the same time. I made a few predictions some to myself and some in reviews but in the back of my mind I knew it was Pinkie. I even voted for her in the poll cause I just knew it was her. The fact that it was obvious that it was her no matter how much wishful thinking [the readers] did. That is what's a bit of a let down. All this build up and it turns out to be the obvious choice.

*sorry more ramble* The whole thing with Pinkie being both herself and Mare Do Well was a rather clever idea that you thought up here. It was really a self test to Pinkie to see if Rainbow could like her for who she is rather than what she pretends to be (being all happy all the time).

Hmm....4/5 only because of the obvious choice happening in the end.

Have a good one. I look forward to reading the concluding chapter :D.

To all you haters out there that shall be posting after me here's hoping for a good laugh to quell that hate :D

Image: http://www.goodbooksandgoodwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/duty_calls.png

Questions answered.  Ending was great.

Seriously, what's with all the hate?  Like I said on the chapter previous, what's expected isn't all that bad.

Again, I say, bravo.

Okay, so, was really hoping it would be Twilight. But Pinkie works. You made it such a twist ending :D I'll be looking forward to more stories of yours.

As I said before in my review of the previous chapter, since Pinkie Pie had the most development and exposure to Dash and their relationship was the most explored out of everyone, it would have been a stupid literary move to go for a character who ad comparatively less development and exposure. It would have been a waste of all that time and effort put into their dynamic, a waste of the reader's emotional investment into Pinkie's situation and into Dash's feelings about Pinkie. People are only really sore because their favourite ships didn't turn out to be true. If Twilight had the same relationship and character development put into her and Pinkie didn't, then I would have expected it to be Twilight as MDW. As such, she didn't, so it would have been stupid to have a character who's barely been looked at the whole story ending up as MDW. It would have been bad writing. Trust me, I know.

Plus, have you people even glanced at the other stories AA has done? It's Pinkie Central there, so it's pretty obvious that this was going to be another story with Pinkie.

I knew it would be Pinkie Pie, but I really wanted it to be Twilight.

Oh well.

I knew it would be Pinkie Pie, but I really wanted it to be Twilight.

Oh well.

Thank you!

*Creates Account*

Image: http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw746_Twitableflip.png

    Well, it's been a bloody good ride from the first chapter to now. This is, and will likely remain, one of my all time favourite stories, Fanfiction or not. I expected it to end up as Pinkie from pretty much the get go, and I have no problem with that being the answer either, though I'd continuously held out hope for Twilight (I *am* disappointed, but it'll pass). That being said, I also hope the possible background RariJack hints get some closure too

    Still doesn't feel right being Pinkie, the explanations both made sense and seemed forced... Mare-do-Well being Pinkie does, to me, feel like the easy way out  . but I loved the hell out of the whole thing, and I eagerly await more/alternate endings. I'll be keeping an eye out for Tails' parody for sure

Cheers to you, Anon

Thanks for the story

*All my 5 Stars*

So, the story is still marked as incomplete. Does that mean we still get some more? I'd like that. Stories going out right after the climax give me a hard time, I like "dealing with the fallout"-chapters.

This chapter was just exposition and dialogue, but I enjoyed it a lot. I think you made great stylistic choice for this chapter.

Excellent story. However it was mostly obvious it was pinkie most of the time

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... And that made sense, right?

Damn it.

I was right, and you still made me doubt one last time with the manehathan comment. But in the end I was right.  

I completely agree with all of you who are disappointed with this "ending". I really don't understand why I'm so upset about this, but I am. Here's my thoughts.

A few years ago, the New England Patriots went 18-0, and were THAT close to winning the Super Bowl. But, they lost, and finished 18-1 instead of the perfect season. But, hey, it was all about the journey, right? They should still feel proud, right? WRONG!

Just imagine if this were to happen. Scooby-Doo is said to be drawing to a close. In the final episode, the gang breaks up. Well, hey, guess what? All the years before of it being a great series makes up for the crappy ending, right? WRONG!

Another story on this site, called The Legion Of Gloom, had a perfect plot. It was hilarious, entertaining, clever, and downright masterful. But...the ending was downright crappy, depressing, and not at all funny or wanted. But, as long as the rest was good, that's all that matters, right? WRONG!

I'm gonna get yelled at for this, but I could care less. I was hoping and praying CAD would prove me wrong and actually NOT do what you all said (a cop-out), but...ultimately, he did. It was the WRONG move. I don't care what reasons ANYONE gives, it was the wrong move. What was the point of this story? Seriously, what was the point? From the first chapter, all the way to this one, we've had nothing but Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie. So, a twist is coming, right? Nope. Instead, Mare Do Well turns out to be Pinkie, too...and her unbalanced ego is apparently to blame. Wow. Just...wow. Serious, SERIOUS cop-out. As I stated above, without a proper ending, something that SHOULD be marvelous becomes...terrible. I fully understand that it's his story and he will write what he damn well wants, but...I don't know. I've been writing for a lot longer than he has, and I know for a fact that it's a better idea to write an ending that will please a lot of people instead of just some. The Harry Potter series had a GOOD ending; I think we all can agree on that. But, this...this was just bad.

I don't really care if there's more chapters. I don't want to see more of Dash and that stupid pink brat. Thanks to CAD, I'm thinking about making a huge sin that I swore I would never make: moving Fluttershy out of last place on my "mane six favorites" list and replacing her with Pinkie for fifth. Trust me, I HATE Fluttershy...but, ultimately, that's how I feel. I can't understand why I'm getting so worked up about a stupid story, though. I suppose...it's just because it brought me, like most of you, so much joy. In this life we live, the little things that bring us joy is what matters. Sports, books, movies, music...all of it. It might seem petty. It might seem stupid. It might seem unhealthy. But, I really loved this story so much, and I didn't want it to join The Legion Of Gloom for being a masterful series with a dreadful ending and thus I was forced to not like it. But...well, for me, writing means more than it does for ANY of you. If I didn't have my ability to write and read, I think I would be dead by now. Stories mean so much to me...so very much. This is why Cupcakes drove me crazy. This is why I utterly refuse to read My Little Dashie; I cracked up and bawled for two hours at reading a certain other story where Dash died and Scootaloo had to grow up without her, so I do NOT need more crying. Before you yell at me for being a jerk and taking things too seriously, back off and realize that stories are MY LIFE. Do not question my logic and feelings.

I'll get over this sometime. I'll try to work on my parody of this story, and maybe that'll make me feel better. It took me a LONG time to get over the major disappointment from The Legion Of Gloom, since I loved it so freaking much...and this is most likely to do the same. I just...why did it have to be Pinkie? Why? It just...it ruined everything. It was nothing more than a Pinkie x Dash fiction; the "mystery" wasn't a mystery at all. Why couldn't it have been Twilight? Or Rarity? Or even Applejack? Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Yeah, I know...because it's the author's choice. Don't nag, I know. At least this should let some stress off my chest. Whenever a new episode of The Games We Play came up, I instantly stopped everything I was doing to read it and try to be one of the firsts to make a comment. It really did a number on me. So, at least now since it's basically over, I can calm down and not worry about it so much; all the other stories I track don't have the same meaning as this one did. CAD should be proud of weaving a beautiful piece, save for the end. I disagree with his choice, but I will be one of the many to admit that he can really write. Hats off to him for that.

If you're going to reply to this, go ahead. But, please, don't yell at me and don't scold me. I don't want to hear it, and I don't care what you say. I have my feelings and opinions and I'm sticking by them. There is absolutely nothing that you can say to make me change my mind. I hope CAD's happy; I think I'm going to have to abuse Pinkie in some of my stories for this and have Fluttershy get more parts. Yup, I've gone loco. Excuse me while I go and call the mental ward.

Take care, everyone. No matter what, we all still love My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and that's all that matters. We may all think differently, but our hearts keep us united as one. This is all for those ponies and this show that we have all fallen in love with, and nothing more. Stories don't mean anything. What matter is what's in our hearts and what we choose to do with our passion that makes us a true fan. Always remember that, Bronies...and female Bronies. Goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle x Rainbow Dash Rules. Eat it, foals.

I have to say I was expecting Twilight, however having it be Pinkie was a welcome change. Realisically if Dash had ended up with anyone else it would have been a very sad ending.  

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS.

So. This is it. The first fic I've ever been driven to regularly follow... and it's over now.

I was right, and I'm glad I was right. I'm gonna get a lot of shit from so many people for saying that, but if they have free opinion privileges, so do I. So if I had a problem with the ending, it wasn't Mare Do Well's ultimate identity.

If anything, my problem is that it seems this is the ending. It's partly because it doesn't feel like there's total closure, but mostly because of the reason expressed in my first statement.

Even with the point about this ending being open, it's not by any stretch a bad thing. I actually kind of like works with ambiguous endings; it lets me decide what I want to happen, and nothing says it doesn't. (I rule that that top's coming the fuck down in Inception. That's only a little relevant, but who cares at this point in the rant.)

Yeah, you can argue that this was another Pinkie/Dash fic through to the end. But I like those stories - hell, I've said more than once that it might as well be my MLP:FIM OTP. Plus, it's one hell of a complicated and entertaining story. Part of why I love Homestuck is its complexity, how LITERALLY EVERYTHING can end up becoming important somewhere down the line. The kind of tight continuity a story like this demands in order to work. And you pulled it off so perfectly.

I love how you worked with Pinkie Pie outside of the mask. Sure, you might as well have stuck the hat and cape on her for a daily stroll through Ponyville, but there were absolutely moments where I questioned my assertions. Especially when I saw all that pure hurt after the drunken kiss. By the end, like I'd said, I was conflicted enough to be voting for her and writing her off at the exact same time.

I applaud you, AbsoluteAnonymous. This story was basically what drove me to seek out other fics from this show and eventually get this account. I was honored to come along for the ride, and it brings me the oddest joy to see where it all led. Thank you so much for bringing this story to life - one that threw enough curveballs to let me question the obvious conclusion, and one that demanded to be picked apart and analyzed in order to see how all the pieces were meant to fit together.

The rest of the readers can say what they want, and I won't fault them for it even if I disagree with them. But man, you've earned all five of those stars from me in full, and it's still not enough to show how awesome this was for me.

FANTASTIC! very satisfying conclusion, the red herrings had me doubting along the way but everything just screamed Pinkie. This is truly the best possible conclusion, Pinkie in a love triangle with herself leaves us with no conflict. Maybe a little therapy needed but I am still happy. Dash finally sees that being with a friend does not need to mean everything is broken forever.

As others have said, this was a bit of a risk, doing a dialogue-only chapter. I like that you took it, and I think it worked out very well.

I think you conveyed a lot just with dialogue and pauses, and I'm quite impressed with the skill it takes to pull that off. I loved the tension:

You said...

I said that it would be okay. But that doesn't mean I can't be mad at you first.

It feels like they're both balancing on the edge of a pit (perhaps even a PRECIPICE), and one wrong move will send them tumbling over, and I can really feel it in my gut.

I'm...I'm not sure where to begin, Dashie.

Don't call me that right now.

Ouch. But fair. Much more than fair, really.

No! I never lied to you, I promise. Maybe I did bad things, and maybe I kind of misled you a lot, but I never actually lied. I swear. Pinkie promise, even.

Like that means anything anymore.

Ouch, again. But also fair. Reading this is emotionally GRUELING.

Geez. Is it really that hard for you to be happy? Are you just...constantly on the verge of a breakdown, or something?

I don't recall if one of Rainbow's internal monologue used these exact words, but I recognized them immediately even if they're not a word-for-word match. I love that they're finally TALKING. Laying out all their truths, all their secrets. It's about time.

You're still talking weird.

Huh?

Mare Do Well...Mare Do Well talked really fancy, with big words and stuff. You're still doing that.

I'm not stupid. I can sound smart if I want to.

I can HEAR the bite, the hurt, the flash of anger in Pinkie's voice right there, and DAMN. And a nice call-back to MDW telling Rainbow, "Pinkie's not stupid, you know." I also find it interesting how Rainbow is still mentally separating MDW and Pinkie Pie--she doesn't say "When you were being Mare Do Well, you talked really fancy" but talks about MDW as an entirely separate entity. I wonder if RD is still reeling from the shock.

It made me feel strong.

I never feel strong.

Oh, Pinkie. I still do feel for you. I can't help it. Even though you really have messed everything up really, really badly.

It didn't make sense to me. I'd liked you for such a long time, and you'd never noticed how I felt ever, but Mare Do Well talks to you for five minutes and you're already interested?

This makes perfect sense to me. It's not rational in the least, of course, but emotions often aren't. And if ever there was a pony who would be prey to inexplicable, contradictory emotions, I think that pony would be Pinkie.

More like "manipulated Rarity into feeling like she owed you something."

...

Keep talking.

It's like this whole story is this mask that is just layers and layers of bandages, and this chapter is Rainbow and Pinkie pulling back all those layers one by one, a slow and excruciating process. I really like that, as much as it makes my stomach hurt to read it. After all that's happened, a proper reckoning is necessary, and this feels like a proper reckoning to me.

Because Mare Do Well was pretty much my exact opposite, and if you liked her, that meant you didn't like me.

I think Pinkie believes this is true. I am not as sure that I believe this is true. I think MDW didn't come from thin air--that all the things MDW was are things that Pinkie holds inside her, somewhere, in some quantity.

I really like that Rainbow mostly just lets Pinkie talk during this whole scene, by the way. Just lets Pinkie lay it all out.

Because you were right and I suddenly realized how completely bonkers this was, that I'd be jealous of myself and that you'd be kissing me to make me angry without even knowing it, and...

I hadn't expected that this was the real cause of Pinkie's freak-out. I really like that this is the reason. I like that Pinkie has been feeling guilt and has been worried about how crazy she's been.

I did not!

Yes you did!

I'm not sure if this is the tone I'm supposed to be hearing here, but at this point, I imagined these two characters slipping into something of their former relationship--playful, friendly teasing, like when Pinkie was talking about Luna scaring Dash, during the ride to Canterlot. It brought a pang to my heart, especially as they slipped back out of this almost as soon as they'd slipped in.

They may not be broken, but they're fractured in a million different places. I ache for both of them.

...I think I'm broken.

You're not broken.

Oh my gosh. Oh my GOSH. That is so big of Rainbow to say that, it's such a loving and selfless thing for her to say, and my heart can't even handle it. This was the moment when I thought things might be some sort of okay between these two ponies.

But...I mean...I liked you, Pinkie. And I liked Mare Do Well. So...if those are all pieces of you...then once you're put back together, won't we...?

...I don't know how to do that, though.

There's gotta be something. I don't know what, but there's gotta be something we can do. I mean, friends help each other, right? So if you seriously think of yourself as broken, then we gotta fix you up.

...you still want to be my friend?

Duh. This whole thing is pretty messed up, but...I don't want to lose you completely.

I have no words for how emotional this part made me. I just ... I'm sorry, I don't. It's wonderful, though.

You said you liked Pinkie and Mare Do Well. So...so if I find a way to fix myself, do you think...do you think you'd ever...

I don't know if I can answer that right now.

Okay. I understand.

I like this tentativeness, this uncertainty. It would've been way too easy if everything was fixed up all nice and neat. Rainbow's right that this is all way too much to fix in a single night. It's taken them weeks (months?) to get to this point ... it's going to take a long time to rebuild.

Um, want to what?

...Dashie?

Do that.

Can...can we do that again?

Yeah.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH. Can't. Even. Handle. It. *squee!*

So, now that it's been established that Pinkie was in fact Mare Do Well, I feel like it's a good time for me to discuss Pinkie's characterization. I know you're keen on Split Personality Crazy Pinkie and, just to state my biases, I'm pretty strongly not. That's not a criticism of Split Personality Crazy Pinkie, per se--I just wanted to be clear where I'm coming from, so you can take what I say with an appropriately sized grain of salt.

That being said, I think your Split Personality Crazy Pinkie (here and in your other stories, which I WILL review one of these days, finally) is one of the best in the fandom. And there's certainly canon to support this characterization, as "Party of One" attests. Further, I believe Pinkie probably provides the most room for creative interpretation of any of the Mane Six. All of them suffer a bit from being made to display whatever characteristics the writers need them to display in a particular episode, but I think Pinkie is the character the writers write with the least consistency.

In one episode, she'll be fairly lucid and sensitive to her friends' feelings (with Fluttershy in "Griffon the Brush-Off," with Twilight at the end of "Lesson Zero"); in another, she'll be pretty detached from the annoyance of those around her and oblivious to their feelings ("The Last Round-Up," "Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000"). So fanfic writers can legitimately choose which of these qualities they want to play up and which they want to de-emphasize, and I think that's all fair game.

Still, I do wonder if your Pinkie, wonderfully complex and engaging as she is, is a bit too far from the canon Pinkie we know. Pinkie SAYS she usually is happy, but I'm not sure that jives with what we've actually SEEN in the story. Pinkie's been pretty unhappy and miserable for most of the time, and she does seem to have fallen a bit into the "woe, my smile is but a mask for my reservoirs of hidden pain" syndrome that bubbly and cheerful characters are often prone to in fan stories. (And I am, undoubtedly, the pot calling the kettle black at this point. I've done this myself. I'm trying to do it less.) I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say she's OOC, but she does feel notably different than the Pinkie in the show.

But then, so does Rainbow Dash, to a lesser extent. So do all of them. And that's at least partially the whole POINT, I well know. I dunno. Will have to think some more on this.

So much more I should probably say, but I'm still on an adrenaline high from this chapter and the last and not thinking so clearly. Just ... as always, thank you for writing and for sharing this story with all of us. This story, these character, this writing is all absolutely amazing.

I don't like PinkieDash. At all.

But this... this was nice.

5/5, would read again.

Well, one of my most favourite fan fics has finally ended, and with a bang. Very well done on this story, the journey has been a great one. Sad to see it end.

>>189256189256

This. MOST of this.

Except the part about writing meaning more to you than any of us. Son, I am beg to differ.

Gotta say, I think Pinkie killed it a bit. I know bronies be going on about how it wasn't about the mystery, it wasn't about "Who is Mare Do Well," but more of an introspective piece--and that's fine, don't get me wrong. I think they're incorrect, but that's my opinion. I loved this story, and the less-than-inspired ending doesn't change that too terribly much. I just would've loved it a heck of a lot more if it had played out like an actual mystery instead of the usual run-of-the-mill PInkieDash fic. And heck, it's not even that I dislike PinkieDash, which is still in my top-5 for favorite pairings. I just think that, in this instance, it would have added a great deal of depth to the narrative if MDW was someone other than Pinkie.

My two bits on that.

Okay, I have to give you credit for one big thing.  You answered all my complaints about it being Pinkie - I thought that Pinkie would know better than to risk making Rainbow love *another* mask, but if that wasn't the goal at first, then it makes more sense.  That was the big problem that I had with it, and the duality that comes into play here fills it all in.

So while I'm still not sure how I feel about it being Pinkie, I think you did it being Pinkie right for this story.  Kudos to you sir, for filling in those plotholes like a pro.  

Encore Encore!    And Epilogue as well!    

Also, their never going to get the stains out of that suit are they?  

Steel Resolve, I guess you were right.  I was really sure it wasn't Pinkie.  I'm actually okay with how it's turning out so far.  Hopefully this'll continue to tie up the "Pinkie needs fixing" thing.

Ah, Split Personality Disorder. NOW it all makes sense. OK, not upset or disappointed or anything like that, I'm impressed. As soon as Pinkie put on the mast, her SPD caused her to more or less become yet ANOTHER pony locked away in her head. That's frightening, but it works really well. Bravo!

>>189536189536 Anon did a great job throwing us off the scent time and again. It took alot of writing skill to ensure that people would be unsure who it was. For the record, I would have been fine with Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, hell even if it was Rainbow Dash going nuts, as long as there was a final laying out of the cards to explain how the hell that was possible. Pinkie Sense making her afraid of heights is a GREAT explanation, imagine trying to ignore your own body screaming you were gonna fall every time you jumped. This ending kinda reminded me of Fight Club, everything just seems so clear once you figure out the twist.

>>189256189256

I'm going to agree on the part that the cop-out was pretty heavy. To be honest, I really didn't care who it was, as long as it wasn't Pinkie. There were no real "favorite ships" to be picked, I just wanted it to be somepony who didn't take up the other half of the story. I read the past ten chapters or so, and I can only hope, "Oh Celestia, please don't be Pinkie", no matter how incredibly obvious it is that MDW really is Pinkie, and then, Chapter 20. Yeah, MDW really is Pinkie.

Anyway, the ellipses in this chapter sort of bothered me. A space is needed after using ellipses. "... ", rather than "..." No big deal, it just sort of bothered me.

Not going to say that Pinkie ruins the whole story. Maybe the last few chapters mean less to me, but I still liked it. Pants-shitting suspense all throughout this fic, and I loved the ride. Let's see how the author decides to close this fic.

And the moral of the story is you can't please every body, but I'm happy. Rainbow Pie is best pie! This is seriously my fave story on this whole site, you sir are a baws. Keep up the good work on this, and any future fics. Imma read them all.

While Pinkie being Mare Do Well was an interesting twist to the story, I can't help but feel like it cheapened a lot of the drama that goes on in the story. The fact that Pinkie was just jealous over a persona, and not another actual pony, kills a lot of the drama that we've read so far.

At the same time though you haven't particularly built anything leading up to the reveal of mare do well being someone else, so...

I have mixed feelings on this.

Throughout the story I haven't been a huge fan of your writing style. Your tendency to tell things in as many words as possible often leaves you reiterating frequently. This is just taken from a list of 32 useful writing rules I have bookmarked, and often reference:

7: If you find you’ve said the same thing more than once, choose the best and cut the rest. Frequently, I see the same idea presented several ways. It’s as if the writer is saying, “The first couple of images might not work, but the third one should do it. If not, maybe all three together will swing it.” The writer is repeating himself. Like this. This is a subtle form of pleonasm.

This leads you to a second rule that is mostly broken because of number 7 being broken:

8: Show, don’t tell. Much vaunted advice, yet rarely heeded. An example: expressing emotion indirectly. Is your preferred reader intelligent? Yes? Then treat them accordingly. Tears were streaming down Lila’s face. She was very sad. Can the second sentence be inferred from the first? In context, let’s hope so. So cut it. If you want to engage your readers, don’t explain everything to them. Show them what’s happening and allow their intelligence to do the rest. And there’s a bonus to this approach. Because movies, of necessity, show rather than tell, this approach to your writing will help when it’s time to begin work on the screenplay adaptation of your novel!

That being said, I find things to criticize in anything. This story was far better than most, and deserving of the 5 stars I gave it (because if I don't give a story like this 5 stars, then I'd probably ever give out 5 stars to anything).

Here's the list of rules I'm talking about if you're interested. They've been an amazing reference guide to keep in mind while I write.

(sighs) It just had to be Pinkie...I was never a PinkieDash fan, so I'm kind of disappointed. Ah well, still a good story.

I'm assuming there's more to come, since the story is still labelled as incomplete?

Well I've got to say, I'd probably appreciate the story more without that explanation...... I just don't like it... for the most part most everything is explained either by Pinkie sense (which is a cop out on it's own really only because it's basically Pinkie just knows....) or it's mostly explained by moments that are basically just made up for plot convenience. Like when  Pinkie takes AJ's costume..... then I guess the biggest nail to the coffin is the Pinkamina explanation but only because like the Pinkie sense it's basically a cop out.... oh well...... Though I must say with everything but the ending I'd rank this among one of the best fics I've ever read, but with the ending though, maybe just one of the better than average stories.

I like how Pinkie wore a mask. Whether we know it or not, we all wear a mask. We wear a mask to hide how we truly feel. Pinkie's mask his her emotions and her identity.

Still dissapointed, but it makes more sense now, and that is what matters

For the haters, shut up and read a fic with your fave pairing.

Got to say I'm surprised people thought MDW was anyone but Pinkie/Pinkamena. I couldn't see it being anyone else; it wouldn't have made sense if it were.

This leads me to being saddened that people are disappointed too, although that's most likely also due to bias, as Pinkie is best pony and my favourite ship is Rainbow Pie. I can understand why people are disappointed, as it is a bit of a cop-out I spose, but honestly, you could see it coming a mile away.

I very much enjoyed this and am looking forward to seeing how it all wraps up. One more chapter?

"The mare in black stood on the edge of the bakery rooftop, surveying the streets below."

The very first line in chapter 1. Why else would she start her lookout at the bakery other than she had access to it from the start? All of you should of seen it coming, kept an open mind at the least. But, some of you set yourselves up for disappointment by staying narrow minded. This is why I dislike shipping; it creates a bias that people focus on, throwing out all other possibilities and interpretations. That said, I like this story not because of an arbitrary pairing but the scenario and raw emotions it details. I feel sorry for any of you can't enjoy this work because it doesn't meet your expectations. Literature isn't about the endings, it's about the characters and narrative. A writer tries to please their audience; an author has a story to share. Keep that in mind when you read something else next time. Good day.

Image: http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j346/alexanderwilczek/3.png

I really do. I never thought a story about two cartoon ponies would be so good. But it is. It really is one of the best things I've ever read, and you're an amazing writer.

And don't listen to the haters. Seriously, what's with them?

@Tailslover13 You clearly have shown distaste for the introspective writing, so why have you stayed here until the very end? I could swear that you have put a complained about every chapter in this story, only occationally acting professional. I find it humorous that a writer would base his superiority on his length of time writing, and quite pathetic that you would base the integrity of a story on it's ending. What you are basicly saying is that any story with a sad, deppressing, or somewhat lead-up-to ending is complete crap. I loved the book Brave New World BECAUSE of it's horrible ending, and it's refusal to go the route of "Save the world". Honestly this pairing does not bother me in the slightest and he has explained everything, so I don't see what is so wrong with it, except, OH NO! WHY THERE NO TWIST ENDING?! I WANT APPLEDASH/TWIDASH/FLUTTERDASH/RARIDASH!

A twist ending to this story would not have made sense due to the character interactions being too normal between dash and everypony else, the character development would have been all for naught, and worse still, Dash would have had to pick between her freinds. For the Record, MDW would have been rejected completely by Dash had it not been Pinkie, as they had meaningful interaction, while the other characters had little to none.

I will read your parody however, just to see how ridiculous it will be in context with this believable and beautiful story.

All right, after getting some sleep, my reaction is... well, the same, pretty much.

I really think that making Mare-Do-Well someone else would have created a great opportunity for a third act - reconstruction of the friendship between the three, exploring who they all really are, things like that.

I still love this fanfic, and I still want to see more from you. Don't take us haters too seriously, all right?

Its a trick, Rainbow Dash! Its Spike in disguise!

I kinda wanna see Rainbow Dash and MDW patrolling again that was nice, had a very Batman/Batgirl feel.

And suddenly the win in this story got even better.

I don't care what other people say. I can't think of a better way for you to have finished the story. I love it and can't wait for more from you.

Also, PinkieDash is always awesome

Scrolled down to the comments to say how happy this made me, made the mistake of reading the comments, and am now terribly angry.

People are surprised MDW was Pinkie? That blows my brain.

"Cop-out" is getting thrown around. That's a lot of fun, especially since no one's explained how the term applies to the story, reducing it to a less-than-meaningless buzzword.

Considering all of the development between Pinkie and RD, and the complete lack of emphasis on every other character, wouldn't it seem like an ass-pull for it to be anypony but Pinkie?

I'm going to stop myself from any further ranting. What I came here to say was this: Excellent stylistic choice for chapter twenty-one, chapter twenty had me on the edge of my seat, and I've cried at nearly every chapter in this story. Great work, Anon.

Also, "Incomplete". I'll try not to getmy hopes up if you've just forgotten to change that.

>>189394189394>>189256189256 Sweet jesus, instead of writing super long comments, you should write alternate endings.

I KNEW IT WAS PINKIE!!!!!!!! Also, Pinkie does go all depressed Pinkemena sometime. Ya know like . But we still love you Pinkie. or

I'm amazed at the haters who couldn't see this coming. Mare-Do-Well acted like Pinkie throughout the story, the premise of what Mare-Do-Well DID was totally Pinkie, and all the meaningful interaction was with her. Looking back, I always kept saying, "I'm 99% sure it's her!" until AA tried to throw us off her trail again. This happened, like, three times. None of the other characters fit Mare-Do-Well as well. Twi comes close, but she just doesn't fit with her behavior most of the time.

I don't think that anyone would really be satisfied if it were someone else, if only because we haven't really seen them in this story. It wouldn't match up. Why would Pinkie be so angry at anyone else? Why would Mare-Do-Well be as insecure and immature as Pinkie? It was tailor made for Pinkie from the start.

But I guess that's also a criticism. In focusing on those three characters, it's obvious who it was. It seemed like it was all about disproving weird claims instead of increasing suspicion for characters, and I would have liked to see Dash growing in all her relationships with the mane six because of what Mare-Do-Well teaches her. The first part of the story is all about narrowing the suspects down before Dash almost stops trying to find out who Mare-Do-Well is, which is GOOD, but I think the way you did it was the wrong way to go about it.

How would I have done it?  

I would have preferred to see another character or two with a crush on Dash that comes out with her investigation, ones that would fit Mare-Do-Well's MO. Twilight would fit the behavior, and Fluttershy seems to have a split personality too. Combine Fluttershy possibly having a crush on Dash after she rejected Dash? That could make for some interesting interactions over the course of things.

Dash would let it slip or somehow the others would find out about the multiple crushes, and there would be uneasiness surrounding the characters with an interest in Dash. So then when Pinkie is spitting her vitriol, it's almost believable that she'd be so possessive and jealous so as to go that low, instead of having your audience immediately jump to the conclusion that most of us did.

Dash would spend time with the three love interests to discern who is Mare-Do-Well, and her relationship would change with all of them, in one way or another. They'd all KNOW who Mare-Do-Well is, and we'd get hints that it may or may not be them. But in the end, she'd fall in love with Pinkie, all the while thinking that she can't be Mare-Do-Well. Dash would hang out with Pinkie more and more under the guise of investigation, hiding from others and her own true feelings, but secretly, she just would want to spend time with her. They'd do things that couldn't possibly help Dash's investigation, learning more about each other and their relationship, but never really getting deep into it with each other very often. Mare-Do-Well and Dash would grow more comfortable with each other as well, but have a different dynamic, having some deep conversations about the whole story and its events, as well as the relationship between her and Dash, and Dash and the others. It would hint at Pinkie, but still be somewhat ambiguous.

As time goes on, Dash would finally realize her love for Pinkie AND Mare-Do-Well when she acts normal, causing some internal conflict. From there, we'd get Dash breaking down from the stress and trying to run away, similar to what happened here. But as she ran, she'd run through why she liked them both, and notice an odd pattern. We'd get flashbacks to evidence from the story that would prove who Mare-Do-Well was, and why she wasn't the others. Around this time Pinkie would feel bad for all that's happened, try to comfort her as Mare-Do-Well.

When she did catch up with Dash, Dash would know. But she'd also realize that she was in love with Pinkie. So, neither won, really. Or both did. From there, we could have the standard romantic ending. I don't think much more needs to be done than that...

In the end, my main critique is that you didn't have much character interaction to make for multiple suspects. It was either Pinkie was for sure, or it was someone else, but damn if we know who. But for what it was, it was an amazing story. Number 2 on my top 5 (sorry, you just can't beat Fallout: Equestria), and the best damn shipfic in the fandom.

YES I KNEW IT WAS PINKIE! Everything is wonderful in my world now You sir or madam have written pure awesomeness and I love you forever for this and I hope to see a new chapter soon

>>189832189832

As per requested:

Cop out-  an excuse to take the easy way out, an excuse to not finish something in an acceptable way

How it applies to the story:

Honestly I don't see how it doesn't......

1. Pinkie Sense- Pinkie sense has been and will always be a cop out no matter how it is used, even in the show. It's just an excuse to give Pinkie a leg up on some small tidbit of information. The Pinkie sense is a power that usually gets blown way out of proportion considering her Pinkie sense is extremely vague as seen in Feeling Pinkie Keen.

2. The explanations for a majority of why Pinkie knows something or how she got something involve events that were not part of the story in any way. ie obtaianing AJ's costume, getting the wonderbolts ticket, and knowing the thing about roses. Though I'd also add it wasn't explained, unless I missed it which may be the case since I skimmed the explanations, how Pinkie knows about pegasus anatomy. So basically all of the explanations themselves are cop outs to just give Pinkie the excuse to be Mare Do Well

3. Pinkamina, this one is mostly just personal because I think Pinkamina is probably just the biggest cop out there is just for the sole purpose of giving Pinkie more excuses on how she can act differently or be someone else.

either way the story suffers greatly due to the lackluster ending..... sadly because I REALLY liked this story

>>189969189969

1. Pinkie sense exists. It would be silly not to use it, and it's certainly not a cop-out. It was as downplayed as it possibly could have been, which is all we can ask for, really.

2. In a sense, you're correct. They aren't involved in Dash's investigation. But it makes sense for them not to be. And in most mysteries, we don't know the plan of the 'villain' until the end. The big reveal of all that happened, all the evidence piling up? That's par the course for any mystery story. Hardly a cop-out.

3. Pinkamina, again, is in the show. Pinkie does have some mental issues that you can play around with. AA dug deep into the split personality of the character so that it was integrated throughout the story. Wishing that Pinkie was only as one dimensional as she is most of the time and ignoring that she has another, more complicated, side to her is just putting her in that same box that Dash did.

So, no cop-out that I can see.

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

Also, another cliff-hanger ARRRRGGG. PLEASE tell me there are several more chapters ahead.

This is just....again, the best character study and psychology fic I have ever read.  

I love how the thing was made. Psychological, deep, insane, and dark without being grim.

I like it. I like how it delves into the minds of the characters. The fact that it was Pinkie that turned out to be MDW would feel like a cop-out if it wasn't so interestingly done.

It's messed up. It's broken. It's perfect for Pinkie.

It's just...amazingly done.

All my stars, a fave, and a bow, good man.

You deserve it.

>>189992189992

Kind of have to agree with Bashfluff; the story structure made it fairly obvious that Pinkie would probably turn out to be Mare Do Well. A couple of efforts to deepen the mystery and a couple more red herrings would have helped knock Pinkie off the spot of eternal prime suspect.

A couple of examples that spring to mind, the fact that Applejack was of a compatible orientation and had a crush on "someone" should have come out a little sooner, with the RariJack hints pushed back further into the story. Another way to muddy the waters a bit would have been a Dramatic Reveal that Twilight does have some sort of spell that would let her pull off the "in two places at once" trick, instead of it always just being a theory. Have Rarity take a sudden interest in spending a lot of bonding time with Rainbow; ostensibly it would be that Rarity wants to find out about MDW (she definitely strikes me as the type to love a good mystery-romance), but Rainbow can't help but wonder whether Rarity has an ulterior motive for suddenly wanting to be all buddy-buddy. Instead of having MDW just throw Dash a bone about not being Fluttershy, have Rainbow spend a chapter or two growing more and more certain of MDW's identity, until she dramatically accuses MDW of being Fluttershy: cue cape removal and the no wings reveal.

It's a good story, really good, but tossing a few more twists into the mystery so the audience was less sure Pinkie was the MDW would have helped deepen the mystery.

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who was fairly satisfied with the explanations behind the reveal. I'd go into a super-long comment explaining my reasoning, but I'm lazy.

Hopefully we get at least another chapter or two dealing with the fallout - despite it being Pinkie, there's still a LOT of drama and frayed ends to sort out with the rest of their friends.

>>189832189832

Considering all of the development between Pinkie and RD, and the complete lack of emphasis on every other character, wouldn't it seem like an ass-pull for it to be anypony but Pinkie?

If the author were to do that, then you're correct. As for Pinkie, it became very obvious as soon as she became the spotlight of this fic. The thing is, people from my perspective probably wouldn't be satisfied either way. If he made MDW Pinkie, then there's the fact that you could see it coming a mile away, and a ton of things you actually liked reading in this fic sort of get devalued. If it were anypony else than Pinkie, then it's like you said, a major ass-pull.

It's not about a favorite ship or character. Perhaps the writer could have balanced out Rainbow's interactions towards the rest of the Mane 6? That way, I wouldn't mind it being anypony. However, I can't be certain, because it's not like I actually read it that way.

And there's a ton of discussion going on about these last two chapters. I never knew Pinkie Pie could be such a controversial character.

The amount of hate is making my head hurt. I personally enjoyed this story from start to its inevitable finish, and I can't wait to see how this gets tied up. I feel sorry for the author, though. He's getting bombarded with all of this.

Wow I'll have to read all of the text walls later.  First pinkie pie is the illusion.  Pinkamina is the insane out of control part.  Diana is the real ponysonality behind the mask and has always had staight hair.  OH buck I lost my train of though, I'm such an idiot.  TY for the epilogue it really appreciate it.  Pinkie is the most complex psyche.  Far more so than Luna or Twilight.  No one else would have fit well.  I like Twidash best but pinkie deserves a win.:lunasmile: Naptime.

>>189992189992

It exists yes, but almost never to the extent most make it out to be. From what we saw in the show Pinkie often knows something is going to fall. But never what in specific like a pony or a frog, etc. In the end it is a cop out no matter how you slice it since it is always the excuse gone to in the case Pinkie needs to know something for plot convenience.

The only reason this is a cop out is because with what we were given, both Twilight and Rarity could easily explain almost everything that would be needed to explain while staying within events of the story AND still seems rather legitimate. Pinkie obviously can't claim that so the explanations had to resort to just making up other events. Total cop out.

The concept of Pinkamina is an odd one that isn't technically in the show. All we know from the show is that Pinkies mane and tail go straight when she gets rather depressed or unhappy. However it does not show any sort of split personality in any way, just a sort of mental breakdown really. Again this one is just a personal view as a cop out.

Though in truth whether or not it IS a cop out is irrelevent, but more so the fact that it IS seen as a cop out by many that is the problem.

All this hate makes me

Image: http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/306/a/1/rainbow_dash___facehoof_by_cptofthefriendship-d4ewbgc.png

Logic wins. Melodrama does not.

I think a lot of the hate so far is obnoxious. Everyone's saying it's the author's fault, as if there's something objectively wrong with the story. That's just utterly juvenile. Everyone's mad because the story didn't meet their personal taste on their favorite pairing, yet they blame the author for supposedly writing a bad ending.

The ending made SENSE. It was justified logically and rationally. It fit the characters while expanding their personalities. It explained all prior character motivations throughout the story and came up with reasons for virtually every single one. It was a VERY clean and neatly tied-up conclusion to the drama that's been unfolding throughout the entire story. It left no question unanswered, and more importantly, it left no question unreasonably or insensibly answered. It may have been obvious, but there's no point in a twist unless it makes sense, and making a twist just for the sake of making a twist is completely stupid regardless of how obvious the other path is. It not being a twist doesn't make it bad. And besides, the author did a fantastic job of throwing us off the beaten path several times throughout the story.

Hell, I think a lot of you are just mad that it's almost over. Which is messed up. It had to end sometime, and I would rather it not overstay its welcome by artificially padding its length unnecessarily. That would have just drawn it out to the point where people got sick and tired of following it, because nothing meaningful is happening. Like DBZ. Just the same thing over and over again for hundreds of episodes.

I'm not a fan of Pinkie x Dash myself. I never would have even thought of the pairing outside of reading this fic. But my personal tastes don't change the fact that this is a brilliantly well-written and psychologically explorative narrative, one that at least has some degree of logical consistency. The same can't be said for a lot of fiction out there.

tl;dr: Quit being selfish and insensitive to this author just because your favorite pairing wasn't featured or because some unreasonable and incomprehensible twist wasn't used to artificially pad the length of the story. Your personal tastes do not pass as objective critique.

In a word brilliant; the dialogue-only format of this chapter was great, allowing the reader to speculate on what little expressions and gestures they might have given each other worked out beautifully in my mind.

I figure that if you had placed narrative, especially for their thoughts, it would have bogged the story down; it was obvious that they didn't know what to think and eating up 'screen time' by stating that over and over again would have been pointless and annoying.

Seeing this still listed as incomplete is a little surprising, I actually thought it would end on chapter twenty... of course I also kind of thought Mare-Do-Well was a figment Dash's imagination...

Anyway, fantastic story, five stars!

Oh yeah, there was one thing I didn't like; the whole "I hate you!" smooch, smooch, smooch. Thing, yeah I don't like that at all... it kind of almost worked (read: fit in the story.) in the way that Rainbow Dash was forcing it, that she was selfishly stealing pleasure for herself just to get a little relief from the whole ordeal ...but still I just don't like that mentality; it's not romantic at all.

Well worth the wait. I was half-worried you were going to put it on hiatus just before the reveal or something, just to troll us.

>>190303190303

In regards to the love/hate smooching, I don't think it was necessarily supposed to be romantic so much as Rainbow venting everything that's been building up in her mind when it comes to Mare Do Well, which includes a lot of sexual tension mixed in with the anger.

As for the big debate over The Reveal, I personally liked it, and thought the dialogue-only chapter worked and gave reasonable explanations for Pinkie's actions.

I will read this to the very end. First off, there is no need for all the hate. Everything's very thought out and written. More then I have done at the moment in my MLP cross over. There is still more to come I feel, do remember that there's going to be -massive- fall out from all the previous chapters up to this point. You have everything from Dash's and Pinkies perspective. But do not forget the other four. AJ said she's frankly disgusted at MDW and what they have been doing to Dash. As for the others? Well Twilight was pissed as hell, Fluttershy was missing, don't know what happened to her, and Rarity who knows, probably mingling with all the big wigs. But I am looking forward to the rest of the mane casts reactions.

Silly haters. This was awesome.

And I was so certain it was Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie was a close second though.

Twilight, on the other hand, I have no idea how anyone could think it was her. Could someone who thought it was going to be Twilight explain their reasoning to me? :)

Okay, so throughout the latter half I didn't think Pinkie was MDW and although I would have preferred her to be one of the other mane 6, I never ruled her out completely and I'm still happy with this ending. I know there are lots of complaints about 'schitzo' Pinkie, but it does work and you've explained everything beautifully. The suspense in the last chapter was almost painful and I really like the dialogue-centric style of this one; it's just the characters, specifically Pinkie, stripped back bare with no other details to be distracted by.

Try not to get bogged down with the negative comments, because with this has been an investive piece of fiction and there are going to be some who are disappointed. As for me though, this is my most favourite MLP fiction, for sure.

Seems people are taking this all too seriously.

For what little it's worth, Pinkie being MDW actually was a twist ending, by definition. The story pulled no punches cementing the notion it was Twilight, and that Pinkie was the "impossible" option, so MDW turning out to be Pinkie actually was a twist. A disappointing twist - but that's personal opinion. The writer's vision comes long before any of that - they chose Pinkie,, and that's the way it is.

This was a good story. A little overly drawn-out maybe, but I also concede that's just my opinion as I favor the shorter-hand approach myself. Still very well written. The ending disappointed me, but not because there's anything "wrong" with it - it makes perfect sense, the formatting was a bit odd but it read clearly anyway, it's easy to follow and understand. And it's a satisfying conclusion, although the lack of a complete marking suggests there's more to come.

It's been an enjoyable, satisfying ride. That should be enough.

>>190275190275

As for Pinkie sense, it works the same in the story as it does in the show. And?

I don't get your second point at all. Are you saying that other characters could have had the same excuse or justification? Because that was part of the whole mystery thing. And it was obvious that they were protecting Pinkie from moment one, if that's the angle your coming from.

The third doesn't need to be addressed. It's a plot point that you don't personally enjoy, so it's weird that you'd bring it up, but okay.

You made me do it, you made me register, and I gotta say that I am FINALLY glad we got the big reveal, I mean we all knew it was going to be Pinkie... well, I mean most of us knew it was going to be Pinkie... or at least a few of us?!

But honestly I don't know what to say that hasn't already been touched on here, thus far it has been a great story and I can't wait to see the conclusion to it.

I just felt something had to be said to counter-balance some of the hate you're getting over this by people who can't see past their preferred shipping (Hell, I'm TwiDash all the way but I still loved this story),  just don't let them get to you man...

keep up the good work and can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Here goes, written without spoilers...

I have to congratulate you, it's a rare thing these days that I am given this good a ride. I knew from the start who MDW was, it seemed obvious, as usually is the case. I remember guessing the big secret between Snape and Dumbledore in chapter 2, and recently it was revealed in FoE: Project Horizons, facts that I had surmised over 20 chapters ago. I've read so many stories that most stuff is easy for me to figure out. However, for the first time in a very long while, you made me doubt myself. Time and again I started to doubt and suspect someone else, but I did keep coming back to my first guess. Hell, at one point I almost believed it might have been Spike, using some sorta spell, lol.

As to the story itself, I found it immensely enjoyable, because I have myself been in Dash's position, twice, in my life. Actually one of the times it was a bit reversed, in that the trusted friend turned out to be the fabrication and the girl who was trying to romance me was the real person. After I realized they were one in the same, i confronted her on it, she freaked out, and I lost both of them. It was a sad day for me. What's worse, a few months later another friend tried to hook up with her, and I tried to warn him. Again, he freaked out, not believing me, and I lost another friend. *sigh* Why do i always fall for the crazy ones?

Myself, i was a bit disappointed in Dash. She is the element of Loyalty, and I share this. I am fiercely loyal to my friends. I would have put my foot down (hoof?), the first time Pinkie got hurt. I would have turned on MDW, told her it was over and walked away from it to go comfort my friend. Instead she turned her back on her friend to pursue the one that had hurt her friend. Friends to me are more valuable than some teasing bitch who cannot even tell me the truth about who she is. Of course the story wouldn't have been the nice roller coaster of emotions it became if the story ended there. And lets face it, according to what was revealed, it would have most likely ended there.

But yea, I guessed the identity, but my only question was whether she knew herself that she was MDW, or if it was an alternate personality. It would definitely explain her own reaction to MDW's advances. Guess I was partially correct on that part as well, heh.

Anyway, thank you for entertaining a cynical, jaded old veteran reader of fiction. I enjoyed it more than you can imagine. Confound these ponies, they drive me to read Romance! Bleh!

I wonder if anybody has even looked at the story... it still doesn't say "complete"  

As for the ending, I myself was hoping for Twilight, but I'm perfectly fine with this ending aswell.

And people seriously, huge wall of text are huge.

AbsoluteAnonymous, Great job, Wonderful story, don't change a thing (unless you want to yourself) :

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." ~Cyril Connolly

Darn.  I don't like being wrong, and I especially don't like being peer-pressured into being wrong.

I ruled out Pinkie Pie a while back based on the logic that so many other people had ruled her out.  Her behavior, they said, didn't make any sense if she was MDW.  She'd have to almost have a split personality, they said, or else be a fantastic actress -- and we know neither of those things are possible.  Right?

And after enough comments saying these things, I sort of reluctantly nodded and said, okay, I guess we can rule her out.  Even though I don't see anything that really counts as proof...  If all these other guys don't think it can be Pinkie, and if they can't really accept her being that self-conflicted, then....  who am I to argue?  So I scratched her off my suspect list.

Now I feel like an idiot.  

I had a feeling it was Pinkie Pie for awhile, not disappointed at all with end. Although, I can see how others may have wished that they wanted another character to be Mare Do Well.

DAMN!

DIG DOG DIBBITY DOUBLE DAMN!

YOU!

ARE AN AMAZING WRITER!

This has been such a beautiful story.

Hey guys, guess who i am...

waaaaaah waaaaaah, i'm a big cry baby, and wouldn't know a well crafted story if it inserted itself sideways up my anus, now watch me as i poop my pants and continue to cry all night long

Hint: It was Tailsover13

Anyway, I pretty much knew that it was going to be pinkie for quite a while now, and although I wouldn't have objected to being wrong, the story was still very entertaining and I like the way you characterized the drama between the characters.

I will be awaiting for more to come! And I am looking forward to any alt endings that you've mentioned in the past. I'm sure those will be entertaining as well.

>>190292190292

So, people are not allowed to not like this reveal? That's not how it works, I'm afraid.

I prefer none of the possible pairings. Yet, I can see why this turn might feel... Cheap. It was like someone telling you they'll share a super special secret with you later that was either Very Specific Thing A... or maybe something else. Then they keep hinting at Very Specific Thing A over and over again, while sometimes also mentioning something else. And after a long time of pondering how it couldn't possibly be Very Specific Thing A, because that would be just too obvious, it turns out it's... Very Specific Thing A. The obvious solution, all along. Is it so hard to understand why some readers are unsatisfied?

Perhaps if you brush all criticism off as "hate", but that's no basis for a reasonable discussion. Personally, I don't yet know what to make of it.

I knew it was ether Rarity or Pinkie Pie.

I also knew it was more possible to be Pinkie Pie but I try to reject her for the simple cheerful personality.

And also because it was too damn obvious it was her.

I saw all the signs but I tried my self to believe it wasn't her.

I did hope it was just a trap Pinkie Pie and That Rarity was actually Mare Do Well.

oh well Nice fanfic by the way.

Please keep up the good work my good sir.

>>191288191288 Perfectly said. In fact, a lot of comments on here have been perfectly said. It's really impossible to ever write something "perfectly", since nothing is perfect. As such, there is always gonna be a problem with every story out there, no matter what. But, this story suffered badly from the failed execution leading to a poor and expected ending, as you stated. What all the people who loved the story are failing to see is something you can't just read between the lines. It's something you actually have to be focused enough upon to fully grasp. Even if this WAS only meant to be a "psychological study" or whatever the hell they're calling it, it didn't do a good job. Everything used for Pinkie WAS a cop-out and cheap, regardless of what anyone says to justify it. It was just taking parts of Pinkie and hiding behind them. It didn't take a leap of faith. It didn't give us that twist we were hoping to see. No, seeing Mare Do Well wind up as Pinkie was NOT...A...TWIST! We all were expecting it from Chapter 1, and a good writer is supposed to use his or her writing talents to give us something shocking and interesting and prove why they're writing the story to begin with.

If CAD had wanted it to be Pinkie from the very start, that's fine. A MUCH better way of executing this would've been to focus on Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack more, while Pinkie's side-plot of romantic interest in Dash is focused on LIGHTLY. That way, it still keeps us in the dark without being so dreadfully obvious who Mare Do Well was. The fact that the story just constantly focused on Pinkie ruined it and made it so blatantly obvious what was going to happen. If it hadn't been her, it would've been better for the story. It was a great idea, but poorly executed. I fail to see how people could really be HAPPY with this...unless they're simply a Rainbow x Pinkie fan, or they just like a good story.

Image: http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1556-tumblr_ltclp6rCxX1qafrh6.jpg

It was just a story, guys. Okay? I repeat. JUST A STORY. Not even an original story. It was a fanfic. A fanfic for "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," about a rainbow pegasus in a land of magical talking ponies. You guys are taking this way too seriously.

But then, so am I. I mean, I spent the entire day trying to build up the courage to read these comments, because I was fully expecting to get hate after that reveal; but even so, I wasn't really prepared for this.

God, I want to curl up in a corner somewhere and bawl my eyes out. I've never had people react to anything I've written like this before. Maybe I'm pathetic, but I'm just not used to it, and this is much, much harder than I was expecting.

To the people who've been kind: thank you. Your words mean a lot to me, and I'm sorry to be freaking out right now.

To the people who've been critical, but have at least offered constructive criticism: again, I thank you. I'll try to use your advice to improve my writing in the future.

To the people who are completely spazzing, either because they see the reveal as a cop-out or because they don't like Pinkiedash or whatever: LET IT GO. Okay? Usually I try to be pretty amiable online, but Jesus Christ. It's just a story, you know!

Repeat after me. JUST. A. STORY.

The most common complaints I've been seeing have been from people who dislike the pairing, people who think the reveal was a cop-out, and people who think that Mare Do Well being Pinkie completely negates the whole mystery aspect.

To people who dislike the pairing: FINE. You know what you do like, so why the hell have you been reading this? Go find a story you enjoy about a pairing you enjoy and ENJOY IT. Even better, go write your own!  If my fic has honestly so failed to live up to your expectations, THEN STOP READING. Okay? Go ahead an un-track or un-favorite or whatever. I DON'T CARE.

To everyone else: this was never supposed to be a genuine mystery. I can't believe I actually have to right ahead and say that; I thought I'd made it clear. I mean, was I too subtle? Was Mare Do Well going right ahead and openly stating my thesis a little too between-the-lines for all of you to pick up on it?

This was never supposed to be about who the pony behind the mask was, it was supposed to be about why they would feel the need to wear one in the first place. It was supposed to be about motivations and hidden depths and perception and identity. It was supposed to be about so many things, but from the way everyone's been bitching at me about how I've ruined everything and how the mystery's been ruined now and how cheap this turned out to be, I can see I didn't do a very good job of conveying any of that. I guess I screwed up. But I'm telling you right here, right now, so that there's no room for doubt...THE MYSTERY WASN'T THE IMPORTANT PART. THE CLUES WEREN'T THERE BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T MATTER. THE CULPRIT WAS OBVIOUS BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE BEGINNING. You were supposed to be able to see the duality of her personality and how she wasn't necessarily the one-dimensional figure she's typically portrayed as and all that pretentious bullshit, but if you couldn't see that, I guess I failed. When the majority of your readership fails so spectacularly to see your entire point, the blame can only fall on the author, I guess.

I was afraid to publish these chapters because I knew, I just knew, that this wasn't going to end well. And lookie here, I was right! People don't like it! Wow! What a shock!

I'd actually considered ending this after chapter 19 by putting it on hiatus or something so that I wouldn't disappoint anyone when I failed you all. Maybe I should've just done that.

I'm sorry. Right now I'm ranting because I'm upset. I'm sure I'll be fine by tomorrow, and I'm still going to finish this fic, if only for myself; but I'm going to go ahead and post this comment anyway, because I want people to know what I feel about all of this backlash.

And to everyone calling this a lame ending, or a great ending, or any kind of ending at all: THIS IS NOT THE END. AS YOU CAN SEE, THE STORY IS STILL MARKED "INCOMPLETE." YOU WILL KNOW WHEN I HAVE REACHED THE END BECAUSE ITHE STORY WILL INSTEAD APPEAR TO BE MARKED "COMPLETE" ONCE THAT HAPPENS. THANK YOU.

Oh, and Tails? Normally, I find your abrasiveness funny. Normally, I take it in stride when you complain. I fully supported your parody idea, because I knew that you weren't going to like how I chose to end my story, and I was flattered that you would want to do something like that. But today, you've genuinely hurt my feelings. So thank you for that.