Tragedy shatters Sunset's world. Laced with guilt over what happened, she cuts herself off from her friends. A month almost passes by before she forces herself to leave her apartment in a halfhearted attempt at regaining some normalcy from the broken shards of her life. However, recovery isn't an easy process, and with each day that passes, her pain only intensifies. But as long as she puts on a smile and tells people what they want to hear, it doesn't matter whether or not she gets better. So long as no one else suffers because of her, that's all that's important, right?
The sequel: Dandelion Wishes
Chapters (10)
Just spotted this. I'll read it later once theirs more
7596368
Fair enough!
7596374 I hope you didn't think I offended you
7596376
Not at all. Rest assured.
Layin' it on pretty thick, but it's still a mighty strong start,
s6.postimg.org/5ul2jmext/continue_Monkey.jpg
orig09.deviantart.net/b676/f/2014/069/4/b/i_thought_this_was_pretty_bad_but_pat_says____by_fuzguy433-d79q64p.png
7596396
Yeah, I've been known to lay it a little thick sometimes
Thank you for reading!
Well then. Don't know what I was expecting, but that last line sure wasn't it.
More. I want more. So much more.
Pretty good start. I hope you plan on continuing it. To many stories with a good start like this end up going no ware.
7596409
No worries! This story will be completed.
7596408
Trust me. There's plenty more to come!
so sci twi died at friendship games and sunset feels guilty.ok i follow
Well... curiosity got the better of me and... now I'm sadden by this(in a good way). Hope there is more
7596402
Accurate
7596460
I hope you enjoy the ride!
7596465
There is more!
Most fics I've read that take place after the Friendship Games have Sci-Twi (or Sparky) alive. I'll check this out and see how this goes.
7596573
I hope you'll be pleased with how the story progresses.
Ooo...
Strong start. I'll definitely be keeping up with this.
7596717
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
Really good start, the only thing I have to say besides its great is that when doing internal dialogue, she shouldn't sound like she's talking to someone else. Like saying something like "well let's just say...." Isn't really something that someone would say to themselves. But besides that I can't wait to read more.
I love this so much!! I can't wait for more
7596747
Glad you enjoyed it! Your example leads me to believe that you might be confusing a memory with internal dialogue, though. Since Sunset does not say anything like that to herself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what comes next!
7596850
There will be more indeed!
7597075 Hmm I might, usually when using italics I see it as internal thought, though if its memories then my mistake.
7597094
I use italics for both memories and internal thoughts in this story. Let me give an example for both to clarify.
Internal Thought:This is my life.
Memory:'Oh, so that's what you meant!'
If you see single quotes, it's a memory. If you don't then it's internal dialogue. Hope this helps!
Aw man, why does people like to end the chapter when they just dropped the D-Bomb?
yes, the d-bomb were meant to be death bomb, but ok, I'll stop trying to be punny
Please tell us you get another chapter coming soon? Is this CHS Twilight? or Pony Twilight? Does one of the character still hate Sunset for it? Ah, I cant wait!
7597114
Gotta leave the readers wanting more!
Chapter 2 will be out tomorrow. Can't wait to hear your thoughts as the story progresses!
7597108 Yes that helps, thanks :)
7597130
Glad to hear it! You're quite welcome
I haven't yet read it, but...
Shouldn't this have a tragedy tag?
7598117
Nope. This story doesn't fit the definition of tragedy as labeled under Fimfiction's tag information.
Awe, this was a nice chapter and I liked what you did with Mrs. Cake
7599822
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it!
Ugghhh this is so good, I can't wait to read what happens next!!
I like ware this is going. Poor Sunset her friend died ans she blames herself. She needs her friends now more then ever.
7600288
Glad you're enjoying the story! Sunset really could use her friends.
Thanks for reading!
dam now im lost a bit.Did sci twi die after or during Friendship games?The tag for Twily is it for sci twis when sunny remembers of pony twi in future?What did she want to say?So many questions
7600390
There are quite a few questions. As the story progresses, I'm sure things will become clear.
The biggest thing that jumped out at me in this chapter is that Sunset has a nice landlord. I've never seen anyone give her a nice landlord I think. I commend you for that fact. A good chapter all around too. I do wish it was slightly longer with more things happening but I won't complain about a writer's style, plus I can't really say anything since my chapters are a similar length. Anyway I probably am rambling, great chapter!
7602339
Thank you! Canterlot strikes me overall as a friendly place. So I thought it'd be nice to give Sunset a personable landlord. Yeah, the chapters for this particular story are rather short, but I hope their point comes across well. As it stands, I'd planned for the chapters to be relatively short. I didn't want to risk any emotions potentially being dimmed or lost because of extra words. That and I didn't feel anything else really needed to be added. Though, if you have thoughts about extra things happening, I'd be happy to hear them.
I don't think you're rambling at all. I like it when people tell me how they feel about my work. Thanks for sticking with the story!
7602384 Well a good way of adding more without taking away from the pint of a chapter is giving more insight into what the character (in this case Sunset) is thinking, you give some slight insight but it might still be hard to exactly connect with what she's feeling. Another way is having other people's thoughts on the situation. I assume you are keeping it all in until Sunset reaches a breaking point where it all comes out, but it's a suggestion. If you forgive some self insert, my story Seeing the Sunset kinda shows what I mean in terms of the character development and such.
7602464
True, true. Those are good suggestions! It's quite the delicate balance between revealing Sunset's thoughts vs holding them back. Can't reveal too much too soon otherwise it creates problems for later chapters. Yeah, other people's thoughts would definitely help expand the word count. It was a thought I had before I started the story. Unfortunately, it's tricky to include them since Sunset is trying her best to avoid everyone. Which really doesn't make my life easy.
Hmm, I think your story is actually in my read later list.
7602584 Writing is never really easy, just enjoyable. I'm glad to hear you're planning on reading my story eventually.
7602680
So true. Writing is a pain, but I love it.
I definitely do intend to read it! I'll probably start after my fic is finished.
7602767 I'm glad to hear. Hopefully, I'll have the sequel to it finished. He says knowing it's not gonna happen.
7602775
I was drawn to your story's premise as it reminded me of my own story, and I'm quite curious to see your take on a depressed Sunset. Ah, the dreaded sequel. I've got at least two stories that deserve sequels, but I never get anywhere with them. Oops. As it stands, I usually prefer leaving the door open for potential sequels while making sure the story is nice and self contained. This is because I tend to be more interested in creating a brand new story rather than a continuation. Is there anything in particular that's giving you trouble about your sequel?
7602842 No real problem really except time management. I have the sequel and two other stories in the works as well as school and work. So it's just a matter of doing what I can when I can.
7602911
Yeah, I hear you. Sometimes it feels like there's too much to do in a day and not enough time to do it.
7602989 No that's definitely the case