It's Not Fine
Written by
Inky Shades
Sunset knew it was a nice day. She knew. Pretty purple, and yellow flowers bloomed along the edge of the sidewalk, releasing their sweet fragrances into the air. Yet their scent brought her no joy. Today was a beautiful day. If she tilted her head towards the sky, she knew she'd be greeted with the sight of deep cerulean. On any other day, she'd enjoy the cloudless morning and the rays of sun bathing her in warmth instead of thinking about how the heat made the back of her neck sweat.
Her face scrunched when a gentle breeze blew a lock of hair in front of her eyes. 'That's one of the reasons why I wear my hair up.' The memory stopped her in the middle of the sidewalk. She stumbled forward a few steps. Why? A moment passed before she registered that someone bumped into her.
“Sorry,” the person said. “I should've watched where I was going.”
But all she acknowledged was the speaker's feminine voice. Sunset noticed the girl's shadow shift on the sidewalk. Why did she just stand there? Then she realized the girl might want a response from her before leaving.
“It's fine,” Sunset said, vision trained on her own shadow.
“Oh, um, okay. Have a nice day then.”
“Yeah.” She watched the girl's shadow leave from the corner of her eye. Sunset sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Pull yourself together.
The strap of her backpack dug into her shoulder. She shifted it into a more comfortable position. When did her school books become so heavy? They didn't used to be. Could it be because she hadn't had to carry them for so long? No. Not even a month had passed yet.
'Am I nervous? No, no. Well… maybe a little. I know it's silly since everyone is so nice, but after the Friendship Games… Let's say I feel better knowing you're with me.' Sunset shook her head, clearing her thoughts.
“I need to do this,” she said and continued down the sidewalk.
The familiar horse statue came into view. She made it. Canterlot High. But she went no farther than the statue. She simply watched. Watched the students flow into its doors. Watched them laugh and talk with friends. Watched them have a perfectly normal morning. How could they act like everything was the same?
Did you expect them to still be sad? Yes, she—no… How could she think they'd feel the same way? No one can feel like you though, can they? Not even your friends. The school blurred in her vision, but she quickly wiped her eyes.
This was a mistake. She wasn't ready to be here. That's all you say anymore. That you're not ready. Then why did she bother to get dressed and leave her apartment? You know why. Today was supposed to be her first step… If you don't do this—She made it to the front of the school. Good enough. But what about your friends?
Right. Her friends. Don't you want to see them? You know they're worried about you. She thought about it for a minute. It would be nice to see her friends again. Well, most of them, anyway. But not like this. She couldn't let them see her like—What? Do you think they haven't already seen you at your worst? They need you almost as much as you need—
Not today.
Tomorrow, she decided. With one last glance at the school, she turned around. You'll never come back…
“Sunset?” A soft voice, a gentle touch of her shoulder.
Crap.
Sunset paused to put a smile on her face, but the edges wavered when she turned to face—“Fluttershy,” she said.
“You're here,” Fluttershy said. “Does that mean you're—”
“I'm not staying.”
“Oh…” Fluttershy ran her fingers through her pink hair. “How, um… How are you doing?”
Sunset felt a flicker of undeserved anger over her question. However, the feeling came and went in a flash. “I'm… fine,” she said. But you're not, are you?
“You don't look very fine.”
A match struck in her chest. “How am I supposed to look, then?” She regretted her tone when she saw fluttershy flinch away from her as if slapped in the face. Why did she do that? Sunset held her arms. “Sorry, Fluttershy. I didn't mean to raise my voice.”
“It's okay,” she said.
“No, it's not. I should go. It was a mistake to come here.” Sunset turned to leave.
“Wait!”
Fluttershy's exclamation stopped her.
“Can you… Can you at least let the other girls know that you're okay?” Fluttershy's voice wavered. “Please? You never answer your phone.” There was hurt in her voice, and it pained Sunset to know that she caused it.
Tears stung her eyes. “I'm sorry.” She had to get out of here.
“Sunset…”
“I can't deal with this right now!” Sunset ran.
“Sunset!”
But she didn't stop until Fluttershy's voice faded to silence. Why did she do that? Why did she run? Sunset sat down on a bench to catch her breath and wipe the remaining tears off her face. Would it have killed her to say hi to the girls? It was a simple enough request and yet the thought struck a panic inside her core. Why though? Why, why, why? She didn't have answers.
What was it she feared? That they'd pity her? Treat her like a glass doll that'd shatter at the slightest touch? Hate her? Why shouldn't they? It was her fault after all. They had every right to blame her like—How you blame yourself? You saw Fluttershy. You know she doesn't blame you. And you know the others don't either. You know what the reason is. What if they wanted to help her?
There was her answer, and she felt the truth of it grip her with its icy claws. But she didn't want their help. She rejected it. Every pang in her chest, every tear that stained her cheek, she deserved all of it. Because if it wasn't for her, Twilight would still be alive.
Just spotted this. I'll read it later once theirs more
7596368
Fair enough!
7596374 I hope you didn't think I offended you
7596376
Not at all. Rest assured.
Layin' it on pretty thick, but it's still a mighty strong start,
s6.postimg.org/5ul2jmext/continue_Monkey.jpg
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7596396
Yeah, I've been known to lay it a little thick sometimes
Thank you for reading!
Well then. Don't know what I was expecting, but that last line sure wasn't it.
More. I want more. So much more.
Pretty good start. I hope you plan on continuing it. To many stories with a good start like this end up going no ware.
7596409
No worries! This story will be completed.
7596408
Trust me. There's plenty more to come!
so sci twi died at friendship games and sunset feels guilty.ok i follow
Well... curiosity got the better of me and... now I'm sadden by this(in a good way). Hope there is more
7596402
Accurate
7596460
I hope you enjoy the ride!
7596465
There is more!
Most fics I've read that take place after the Friendship Games have Sci-Twi (or Sparky) alive. I'll check this out and see how this goes.
7596573
I hope you'll be pleased with how the story progresses.
Ooo...
Strong start. I'll definitely be keeping up with this.
7596717
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
Really good start, the only thing I have to say besides its great is that when doing internal dialogue, she shouldn't sound like she's talking to someone else. Like saying something like "well let's just say...." Isn't really something that someone would say to themselves. But besides that I can't wait to read more.
I love this so much!! I can't wait for more
7596747
Glad you enjoyed it! Your example leads me to believe that you might be confusing a memory with internal dialogue, though. Since Sunset does not say anything like that to herself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what comes next!
7596850
There will be more indeed!
7597075 Hmm I might, usually when using italics I see it as internal thought, though if its memories then my mistake.
7597094
I use italics for both memories and internal thoughts in this story. Let me give an example for both to clarify.
Internal Thought:This is my life.
Memory:'Oh, so that's what you meant!'
If you see single quotes, it's a memory. If you don't then it's internal dialogue. Hope this helps!
Aw man, why does people like to end the chapter when they just dropped the D-Bomb?
yes, the d-bomb were meant to be death bomb, but ok, I'll stop trying to be punny
Please tell us you get another chapter coming soon? Is this CHS Twilight? or Pony Twilight? Does one of the character still hate Sunset for it? Ah, I cant wait!
7597114
Gotta leave the readers wanting more!
Chapter 2 will be out tomorrow. Can't wait to hear your thoughts as the story progresses!
7597108 Yes that helps, thanks :)
7597130
Glad to hear it! You're quite welcome
I haven't yet read it, but...
Shouldn't this have a tragedy tag?
7598117
Nope. This story doesn't fit the definition of tragedy as labeled under Fimfiction's tag information.
Wait, what?
7639541 Alternate Universe death of Twilight??
7639541
Nice one. Your account picture goes nicely with your comment, too.
What happened?
9049592
Answers in due time.
Hm.
I have to agree that you lay it on a bit thick, but that final sentence really carries some weight. Let's see where this goes.
Woah. This story starts it off heavy, and that final line really caught me by surprise. I'm looking forward to reading this.
9788167
I hope you enjoy it!
Heavy tone setter for the first chapter, already has my interest on where this leads
And my brain giving Sunset’s inner dialogue Twilight’s voice paid off! Lucky coincidence
And by that I mean that I had a feeling that the something bad happened to Twi and my brain found twisted joy in what if the inner voice of Sunset was Twilight to make her feel more guilt….my brain truly is an enigma
She probably just lost some strength and the books are more heavier than she thinks, I felt that way after going a week without weight lifting. It wasn't great at all. 😞
So that's what got her so upset, and my god that sure is quite the emotional plot twist I did not see coming.