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MrNumbers 832155

Joined January 2012
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    MrNumbers's Stories (8)

    • Cupcakes, Chaos and Crushes
      A short story about Twilight Sparkle trying to write something very important. Alone. Quietly. Pinkie decides that's boring and wants to help. Hilarity and awkward misunderstandings ensue as an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

      6,797 words · 2,082 views · 320 likes · 9 dislikes
    • Sonnets by Twilight
      Twilight has made friends since arriving in Ponyville, but still feels somewhat... lonely. Octavia finds herself isolated in high society, and her passion has left her, leaving her... empty. Can these two find what they need in each other?
      17,027 words · 2,701 views · 438 likes · 16 dislikes
    • Twilight's Movie Night
      The Mane 6 watch a horror movie. What could possibly go wrong?
      21,704 words · 8,636 views · 889 likes · 44 dislikes
    • The Sweet Meet and Greet
      Pinkie Pie's First Day In Ponyville. Curious, Yet?
      12,233 words · 982 views · 134 likes · 4 dislikes
    • The Closet of Unrequited Love (Extended)
      2,543 words · 1,918 views · 139 likes · 10 dislikes
    • The (un)Life and Times Of Specter Shift
      16,230 words · 732 views · 83 likes · 9 dislikes
    • The Maretrix
      16,875 words · 900 views · 41 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Twilight Sparkle Goes Old School
      3,886 words · 909 views · 91 likes · 11 dislikes
    x

    Twilight couldn’t help but stare at the shivering Fluttershy, who’d retreated to a corner, mouth agape and twitching, eyes narrowed and focused on the screen. “F-Fluttershy?” She paused the movie for a moment and ran over to her cornered friend.

    “That pony...” Fluttershy’s quivering voice was barely above a whisper. “Did... Did Starlight just...?”

    “Oh Fluttershy!” Twilight kept her voice soft as well, not wanting to make her friend any more nervous. She should have known! “I’m so sorr-”

    “It... It was awful!” Fluttershy murmured, shaking her head.

    “I’m so sorry, Fluttershy!” Twilight was beside herself with remorse now. How could she have thought bringing Fluttershy of all ponies along would be a good idea? “If you’d like, we could turn it off and put on-”

    “Oh no!” Fluttershy’s head suddenly snapped up as she vigorously shook her head.

    “Something less...” Twilight blinked a few times. “Wha?” Now she was just confused. The two mares stared at eachother for a moment, as though they had egg on their faces.

    “Well, I”m not mad, really,” Fluttershy looked more contemplative than anything. “Well, mad’s such a strong word and I... Okay, Fluttershy, try to assert yourself...” Fluttershy looked at Twilight meekly, but not with any of the fear or sadness that Twilight had expected. “I’m so, so sorry if you don’t agree, this is just my opinion, but...”

    Twilight let out an unintelligible gargle. Where were the tears? Why wasn’t Fluttershy begging for this to be turned off? At this point, the rest of the group was looking at them, finding the scene before them quite the bit more entertaining at the moment.

    “Oh all right, the scene was absolutely dreadful!” Fluttershy declared with uncharacteristic confidence, nodding to herself. A moment later, she let out a little squeak before trying to hide behind her long, pink mane. “That is, um, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

    “Of course it was dreadful! A pony died gruesomely!” Twilight could feel her left eye twitching again. Was Fluttershy even watching the same movie as the rest of them?

    The lemon yellow pegasus peeked out from behind her mane and smiles softly. “No, I mean it was really bad.”

    The inflection on the word ‘bad’ was troubling to Twilight, to say the least. “Are you saying a pony dying should be a good thing?” She instinctively shuffled a bit away from Fluttershy, who was now beginning to scare her. “I mean, we’ve all seen the scribbles Rarity writes in her margins about Blueblood, especially that one with the cider mug and the broom, but--”

    Rarity stood up on all four hooves, glaring furiously at the back of Twilight’s head. When Twilight failed to spontaneously combust like a lady, Rarity jumped off the cushion and proceeded to futz about with the offending mare’s mane.

    Twilight tried not to think about the hours upon hours it would take for her to get her hair back to the perfect, angular look that she insisted upon and instead kept her focus on Fluttershy. It was proving difficult, as her well-kept mane was now carelessly matted and frazzled. Did Rarity even understand how long it would take her to get the hair surrounding her horn back at a proper pi-degree angle? And the length exactly to Ponythagoras's Golden Ratio with the width? “Still,” she spoke through gritted teeth, “it’s not like any of us would say that a pony dying isn’t a bad thing! Especially in such a horrible way as that!”

    Anyone else would have mistaken the little noise Fluttershy made for a sneeze. Her friends, however, knew that it was about as close to an indignant huff as Fluttershy would get. “Of course that’s sad,” she said, “but the scene was absolutely wrong!”

    At this moment, both Rarity and Twilight froze, the war crimes committed against Twilight’s mane completely forgotten as the two tried to digest what they’d both heard, Twilight letting out a very dignified “huh?” in response.

    “A pony wouldn’t just flop after being slashed like that!” Fluttershy’s tone was analytical, gazing at the paused image on the screen as she tore into the scene in question. “There would be at least some spasm or other reflex action! And the blood spray? Way too even, like someone was spraying it with a hose. It’s like Starlight didn’t even have a heartbeat, and the viscosity is just far too low for aortic blood. Has the director ever seen a severed aorta? And while I’m on the subject, how can I expect to take this seriously when there’s no evidence of trauma to her vital organs with a cut that deep? Honestly, any pony with a basic understanding of pony anatomy could see how fake this is!”

    By the end of her rant, everyone else in the room was staring at her, quite thankful that she wasn’t still under Iron Will’s training regimen. Noticing everyone’s stares, Fluttershy let out a gasp and hid behind her mane once more. “Oh, um, sorry, I didn’t mean to brag.”

    Twilight was actually rather impressed, and made it a point to say so, a smile creeping on her face. “Wow, Fluttershy! Didn’t think you’d have such a keen eye!”

    Rarity’s eyes sparkled as she disengaged from Twilight’s mane. “Wow, a supermodel and a doctor! So, what do they call you? Surgeon Shy? Physician Flutter? Doctor... who?”


    Somewhere in Equestria, a brown-coated stallion with an hourglass cutie mark felt a shiver run down his spine. A lopsided grin lit up his face.


    Back in the barn, Fluttershy shook her head and smiled warmly. “Oh no, it’s just ‘doctor’ to my patients. Well, some of the regulars just call me Fluttershy.” Feeling much more comfortable, Fluttershy stood up on her hooves, stretching them out a bit. “Usually it’s just sprained knees and twisted ankles, but some animals, and I’m not going to name names, can get a bit aggressive. They aren’t all herbivores, after all, no matter how much I ask them to try my tofu.”

    “Define a bit aggressive, darling,” Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in the back of her stomach.

    “Well, most of the time, Mr. Grizzles-” Fluttershy gasped and blushed, covering her mouth with her fore hooves for a moment. “Oh, bad Fluttershy! You weren’t supposed to name names!” She put her hooves down and sighed, clearly upset with herself. “Well, he’s just a giant, soft, teddy-weddy bear most of the time, but, well, if he can’t find enough berries, he might get a little hungry and start looking at a tender, plump, slow-moving little fawn....”

    “Oh dear, Fluttershy! Owlowiscious is bad enough with mice!” The discussion was enough to keep Twilight’s thoughts off of her plans to curve and crinkle Rarity’s hair in sweet, glorious vengeance. For the moment, this was far more important. “Next you’re going to say you’ve seen something eat a pony and....”

    The entire room feel deathly silent as Fluttershy looked down in guilt. Rainbow Dash gulped slightly. That was not what she wanted to hear after seeing what happened to Starlight on-screen just now.

    “W-well, only once....” Fluttershy stammered, feeling the gaze of the other five ponies on her. “N-none of my babies, of course! They know full well what happens if they try to hurt a pony!”

    “Fluttershy,” Rarity whispered softly, her voice carrying a decidedly scandalized tone. “You honestly haven’t-”

    “Oh yes!” Fluttershy’s eyes flashed with pure, spine-chilling wickedness as she spoke. “Any of my babies tries to hurt another pony... Doesn’t get dessert for a month!”

    “Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie’s mournful voice echoed throughout the barn as she suddenly appeared behind the pink-maned medic, again showing off her uncanny teleportation ability. “How could you be so amazingly, incredibly, atrociously, unimaginably cruel!?”

    For her part, Fluttershy remained resolute, shaking her head and folding her fore hooves over her chest. “You have to be strict! No dessert, even if they finish all their leafy greens!”

    Pinkie’s shocked gasp was an interesting contrast to the bewilderment of every other pony in the room, to say nothing of Fluttershy’s relatively neutral expression. It wasn’t exactly the most comforting thought to the rest of them that the most dangerous animals in Ponyville and the surrounding environs were being kept in check only by threat of a temporary lack of sugar.

    Taking the silence as her cue to continue, Fluttershy did just that. “It was late one night, and some strange blue unicorn I’ve never seen before wandered into Mr. Grizzle’s pen.” Fluttershy shook her head ruefully. “You can... You can probably guess what happened.”

    Every pony else shuddered in terror at the thought. Giant, fearsome grizzly bear versus tiny blue unicorn, that couldn’t have ended well. It was then that Twilight tilted her head curiously. “Blue unicorn,” she thought aloud. “Why would a blue unicorn run away from Ponyville?”

    “Yeah!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she made her way to Twilight’s group. “And why didn’t any pony try to stop her?” Twilight and Rarity both stared at Rainbow Dash for a moment before shrugging, which Rainbow Dash took as a cue to keep going. “Guess she wasn’t important to any pon-OW!” She suddenly found herself on the receiving end of a rather heavy history text that had been telekinetically launched at the back of her head. “What?” she wondered aloud, rubbing her neck with a fore hoof.

    Twilight made a mental note. She was going to have to send a letter to the Princess requesting a full security detail for the town. She would just hate it if a certain rainbow-maned pony were to accidentally wander into Mr. Grizzle’s pen.

    That would have to wait until later, however, a horrible death was such a petty excuse to ruin such a lovely night with her friends. Gem Lance's flanks also might have been a contributing factor to her decision, not that Twilight would admit that to herself.

    At the same time, Rarity snatched up a rather large lollipop from Pinkie’s Altar of Diabetes with her magic, whisking it across the room until it violently plopped into Rainbow Dash’s mouth. For her part, Rainbow Dash raised a free hoof to protest, but quickly lost herself in ecstasy as she began sucking softly on the candy lodged in her mouth. It was at that moment that everyone in the room came to appreciate the magical power of sugar. Perhaps Fluttershy’s method of keeping the animals in line wasn’t a bad one after all.


    Roam gazed helplessly at the pale, bloodless slab of mangled fur and meat that had once been his beloved Starlight. He wasn’t exactly keen on medical science, so he didn’t make some educated assessment based on Starlight’s lack of pulse, or the fact that the generous amount of blood plastered seemingly everywhere was no longer feeding her vital organs. No, he just couldn’t bring himself to imagine how Starlight could possibly still be alive in such a messed up, mangled state.

    “Oh fu-!” Roam let out a long series of expletives under his breath, causing all but Pinkie, who didn't understand what any of those words meant, to blush or wince, the full breadth of the situation coming down upon him. “They’re going to think I did it!” He could hear the sound of a clunking tumbler, which only served to make his mind wander even faster. “Luna’s dusty womb, they’re going to turn me into glue if I stick around, I just know it!”

    Pinkie Pie giggle-snorted at that line, which effectively killed the mood. Seriously, who made glue out of ponies?

    Roam’s eyes glistened with tears before he screwed them shut as he planted a kiss on his beloved Starlight’s cheek. He wanted so badly for this not to be the last he saw of her. With that, he turned to the window and jumped through it, a violent crash shattering the silence as his wiry frame flew out of the room and into the night.

    “Woah!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack chorused.

    Twilight couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her friends’ amazement. Some ponies were impressed by anything. “You two do realize they use sugar glass for these kinds of stunts, right?”

    Pinkie’s eyes glazed over. “The... The possibilities...” she gasped, as if entranced.

    “Pinkie?” Twilight could just feel a headache coming on.

    “Imagine a greenhouse, made of sugar glass, that grows sugar... Where the light has been sweetened first!”

    “Pinkie, that’s not-”

    “And then, using the sugar-sugarcane, you make even more sugary-sugar glass out of that!”

    “The light spectrum doesn’t even have fl-”

    “Then, you use that glass to make a sugar glass prism to split up a rainbow – no wait, a rainboom, separating all the flavors!”

    “Okay, that’s actually pretty clever, but-”

    “And then, using the sugar rainbow, you could have a sugar rush that gives you so much energy you could stop time itself!”

    Rarity whispered softly to Twilight curiously. “I may not know much about quantum physics,” she admitted, “but I have read a few books on string theory – very misleading name, by the way – and... Is she seriously referring to the theory of relativity?”

    Twilight cradled her head in her fore hooves, her headache in full swing now. “I don’t even know anymore, Rarity.”

    Rarity gave the bewildered scholar a soft grin before turning her attention to Pinkie. “Oh Pinkie~” she melodically called to her hyperactive pink friend. “I see a flaw in your plan!”

    “J-Just one?” Twilight stammered in disbelief.

    “Hush dear!” Rarity scolded before turning her attention back to Pinkie Pie. “Wouldn’t a sugar rush that gave you infinite energy also give you-”

    “Infinite... Mass...” Pinkie Pie finished, her hair deflating and falling downward, suddenly lifeless. “Aw, even with all the time time in the universe, I’d never be able to exercise that much!”

    Twilight gazed at Rarity in equal parts gratitude and bewilderment. “How did you... How?” Twilight’s left eye again twitched as she looked at her white-coated friend.

    “Oh it’s quite simple, really! In the science of fabulosity, fat trumps all!” Rarity nodded firmly to signify the end of the discussion before turning to watch the movie, leaving Twilight to simply sit there and move her lips impotently, unable to make sense of what just happened.

    Finally, Twilight simply sighed and slumped her shoulders, rejoining the other ponies on the couch. “Whatever. Just... Pinkie, stop messing with the laws of physics.”

    Pinke stood on her hind hooves and gave Twilight a proper Army salute, while her shadow, cast by the projection, mimed the actions of a Pinkie PromiseTM. The pink bundle of energy completely failed to realize that ‘irony’ was not just a descriptive term for one of the many, many large, heavy objects that Twilight had to refrain herself from smacking her with.

    Meanwhile, Johnny had finally burst into the room, splintering the door with a well-placed shoulder tackle. His shades were undisturbed by the impact, but not even they could shield his revulsion at the sight before him. He tried to block the door with his large frame, but still, Feather managed to enter and see what had become of Starlight.

    “By Celestia!” Feather broke into uncontrollable sobs, clutching onto Johnny as best she could while he surveyed the scene.

    “Sweetie,” Johnny whispered in horror. “I don’t think Celestia had anything to do with...” He couldn’t come up with the right term for what was laid out before him. “This...”

    Feather looked up to Johnny, then back at the remains of Starlight. “You... I know you don’t like Roam and all, but... This?”

    “I don’t know, but I don’t think any of this blood is his.” He paused for a moment, unable to tear himself away from the sight, even as Feather dislodged herself from him and dry-heaved. He noticed the window and trotted over to it, looking at the damage to the glass. “We’d better call the guards.”

    Feather nodded, thankful to have something to keep her mind off the sheer horror that she’d just witnessed, something to hold off the inevitable crushing, hollow emptiness that would surely come over her when the shoch wore off.

    Alone, Johnny further analyzed the glass, kneeling by the pane. The glass had all shattered outwardly, and the door was locked, meaning the only ponies here had been Starlight and Roam.

    The evidence was beyond damning. However, Johnny’s eyes caught sight of a trail of blood leading across the bed and up the wall, leading to... He fell flat on his flanks as he surveyed the ceiling. It was coated in sticky, red blood, but there was something else that completely shattered his previous assessment. Marked and blood and torn plaster were four long, jagged gouges, perfectly parallel to each other, about a the length of a particularly large hoof between the first and last of the four lines of each gouge.

    His glasses fell to the floor and shattered.

    “Johnny!”

    Hearing Feather’s voice, Jhonny snapped out of his reverie and looked out the windowsill, where a breathless Feather hovered before him. Even in this terrified state, she was so gorgeous, a precious bit of beauty in the maelstrom of carnage that surrounded him. His own gorgeous angel...

    “Johnny! My eyes are up here!”

    Johnny finally blinked and snapped out of his reverie. Those wings did funny things to a stallion.

    “Oh,” sighed Rarity wistfully, “what I wouldn’t give to have Gem Lance gaze at me like that!” That brought on an awkward cough from Twilight, who tried her best to be really small and inconspicuous now.

    “I talked to the guards, but-” Feather seemed somewhat panicked, not looking particularly satisfied at relaying that info.

    “Thank Celestia, what-”

    “They got my father involved.”

    “That’s just great!” Johnny hissed. That was the last thing he needed, right now.

    “I’m so sorry, Johnny, but-” Before Feather could finish, an entire squad of white-coated guards led by a charcoal-coated, barrel-chested officer barged into the room. Before he even knew it, Johnny was being rather crudely shoved out of the room.

    “This here’s a crime scene, boy!” the officer snapped. “Now you get your clumsy hooves off my daughter – I mean outta this room right now! You’re tampering with evidence I could use to finally convice that smug little-”

    Johnny cleared his throat and glared at the object of his ire intently. “It’s innocent until proven guilty, Lieutenant,” he snarled.

    “Oh, I intend to,” Feather’s dad’s voice sounded vaguely like a threat as he slammed the door in Johnny’s face with undeniable finalty.

    Rarity let out a gasp. “The plot thickens!”

    Hey!” Twilight whined from behind the snack table.

    Comments ( 122 )

    #1 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Dat last joke...:facehoof:

    #2 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839408

    Congratulations on being comment 321!

    Also, yes, the scientists working hard at Numbers Charted  Puns have studiously discovered a last joke punishing enough to end a chapter with this title on.

    #3 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Wait, a blue unicorn running from Ponyville...

    Please be Pokey Pierce, Please be Pokey Pierce, Please be Pokey Pierce...

    #4 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #6 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839460

    Seth she wasn’t impohtan’ too enny-pohy den...”

    :trixieshiftright:

    #7 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    this is absolutely hilarious

    #9 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    So many puns, so little time!

    #10 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I'll admit I didn't really have a clue as to where it was going about half way though, but as always you make it better somehow... :raritywink:

    Looking foward to the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

    #11 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Gawd... Doctor Whooves... that killed me. Now I'm dead. Way to go.

    #12 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Definitely favorateable.

    ...is that a word?

    #13 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Man, if Luna thought a holiday dedicated to the fear of her dark side was bad, just wait until she finds out about this movie! Seriously though, nicely done. The scenes with the Mane 6's commentary are very funny & the movie itself is a nice take-off on the actual Elm Street movie.

    #14 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #15 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839710

    I COMMAND YOU TO LIVE!

    My view count per chapter has been depressingly declining. I need all the live viewers I can get!

    >>839740

    This fic is that word what what you dun say. Perfectly cromulant word, too, if you ask me.

    >>839759

    I'm doing my best to keep it all balanced between original content and the actual plot of the original.

    Also, Luna has seen this movie. Her review of the film and the end of the last chap-

    This isn't the first chapter you've read is it?

    >>839766

    Sir?! Where is your sidekick, Captain Obvious?!

    #16 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Hey, humor.

    Keep this going man

    #17 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    i hate it when there's alot of puns but you don't know where there from:facehoof:

    #18 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Hmm, apart from the "string theory" sentence not really my cup of tea, the other chapters were better. Still, do carry on.

    #19 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    > By Luna’s dusty womb

    Ohmygosh! Best pony swearing ever! You have just beat "Celestia’s flaming tits" from Night Guards. I didn't know Twilight had it in her (to be fair, Twilight only thought her swear while Anvil manages to blurt out his swear in front of Celestia herself)

    #20 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839481 And this is why you stay out of Fluttershy's shed.

    #21 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839820

    Indubitably, old chap, I was struggling with a lot of writers block when I started writing this but, now that I am no longer featured, that seems to have worn off a little.

    T'is a bittersweet loss, my friends.

    #22 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Damn Fluttershy! you scary!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

    #23 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I actually find it ironic that you hinted at trixie being killed by a bear when ursa minors/majors are essentially bears. she did get killed right and not seriously maimed and now is under constant care at fluttershy's cottage. I also think it is funny that twilight views murder as a as a petty excuse to ruin a good party.

    #24 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>837119

    HOLY LUNA'S MONTHLY MOONFLOW, BATMAN?!

    Look, mate, it's mostly too late to fix those ones but...

    Okay if this gets EQD'd I'll definitely work on those.

    -sighs-

    Chapter 4 would do nicely with some fixin' like that, really! I will never, ever complain for a single second if I'm told how I could improve.

    Unless, of course, it's coming from my girlfriend in which case I will complain.

    I will never, ever complain for a single second, then!

    #25 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    i see what you did there...:rainbowlaugh:

    #26 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839481 I take it she died then?:raritywink:

    #27 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    WOOOO FUN TIMES KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK I LAUGHED SO HARD I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE I THINK I'M ON A SLEEP DEPRIVED ADRENALINE RUSH WOOOOO!!!!!!

    :pinkiehappy:

    #28 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    It has been said numerous times but... that last pun. So good. XD

    #29 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Dat Doctor Who joke...So much freaking win

    #30 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Just read this and i must say, that was hilarious. The character interactions are great, especially between, well, all of them. Twilight getting way into the movie, Rarity's threat (best thing ever!!!), smartypants, the freak-out with the popcorn. Can't wait for Celestia to finish the movie, thinking Luna has some sort of joke planned.

    #31 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>839768

    For your information, I just forgot about that part. :ajsmug:

    #32 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Holy... This is some dark shit you have there. I did not expect murder/death jokes here. Was that supposed to be funny? WTF?

    #33 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>840718

    Comedy and horror can coexist beautifully, like sweet and sour, if done right.

    If not, you get this piece of garbage.

    Well, what else do you people expect, you featured this for the introduction chapter alone?! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!

    #34 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This may sound stupid but, I don't get the last joke can somepony please explain?

    #35 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>840811

    Yes. Yes it fucking is. There is no Dark tag on this story. Up to this point, this was not a black comedy. Fucking warn us normal people so we can stay away from this kind of sick shit.

    #36 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>840855

    Plot. Butt. it is implied Twilight thought Rarity was calling her fat.

    >>840861

    It's not really Dark though, it has a few elements, yes, but the fic comprises 90% of comedy. Like I said in the last one I want to focus a lot more on the Mane 6 with the movie just as a structure to base interactions off.

    If you don't like it THAT much I recommend you start scrolling down hard. I'm really sorry to have put you off so much, I'm trying to gloss over the gore as much as possible but still establish why the characters react the way they do. There's not enough gore to satisfy a gore tag but I was sort of hoping common sense like, I don't know, reading a fiction involving a horror movie that describes, in depth, the horror movie they are watching will involve some death scenes.

    But where do I JOKE about the deaths?

    #37 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    :fluttershysad:Umm... you know, Fluttershy was there for the Trixie thing right?  I mean, if you don't mind me pointing out. :fluttershyouch:

    #38 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    The part where Raibow Dash killed Trixie and Twilight decides "Murder was such a petty excuse to ruin such a good party, anyway."

    I'm not in any way bothered by anything in the movie, or Fluttershy being Hagrid. The protagonists considering actually killing someone to be a minor offense is where the dark part is.

    #39 · 46w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>840998

    ...Ahh...You might want to re-read that part again, slower.

    Rainbow was commenting on it through a bitten tongue, Fluttershy saw it happen and Twilight didn't think much of it.

    Creature of the Everfree did it, man, not Rainbow.

    #40 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841015 You very clearly implied Rainbow chased Trixie in there on purpose, or at least watched her run into the bear's* lair and decided not to stop her and was in no way feeling guilty about it.

    * At least, I'm assuming Mr Grizzle is a bear, doesn't matter anyway.

    #41 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841040

    Go and watch episode 10: The Show Stoppers.

    Watch the end of the episode.

    Notice the scene where Rainbow tries to chase after Trixie but Twilight says that no one should chase after, she isn't worth it?

    Well, I did notice that, and I noticed that Fluttershy wasn't in that episode at all, so I put two and two and go away pinkie together and came up with that theory.

    Feel better now?

    #42 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841048 How is any of that in any way relevant? All I've written above still applies.

    #43 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>840037

    GARGANTUAN WALL OF TEXT 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

    "her eyes narrowed at the screen, her pupils" Break up long sentence? Comma to period.

    "Twilight spoke barely louder than a whisper," Comma to period.

    "Fluttershy’s head snapped up," Comma to period.

    ""I’m just so... Well I’m not mad, I’m just...  I mean mad is just such a strong word and I... Oh Fluttershy be a little assertive... Oh, I’m so sorry if you don’t agree, this is just my opinion but...”" Commas after "I mean", "strong word", "Oh", and "Fluttershy". Poor Flootershai.

    "the cider mug, that she thinks" Maybe change that to which?

    "even as the obsessive compulsive" Obsessive-compulsive?

    "1/2pi... ¾e...Oh yeh sisters" Oh yeh? 1/2 and 3/4 don't match.

    "been mistaken for a sneeze," Comma to period.

    "mutual surprise (...) none more surprised" Maybe ", but none were more surprised"?

    "assertive, for once" I don't think you need that comma.

    "using her fringe as a curtain" I don't know if fringe is a synonym/etc. of mane.

    "Twilight spoke first;" Semicolon to period, maybe?

    "Rarity’s eyes sparkled," Rarity's eyes can't talk by sparkling either, silly filly!

    "grin lit up his face" Missing a period.

    "with each other, they aren’t all herbivores" Comma to period.

    "“Well... Alright, whilst most of the time Mr. Grizzles,”" Comma to hyphen? She's cutting herself off.

    "he gets a little hungry" Comma after hungry? Also, "whilst" is in there twice.

    "Owlowiscious         is bad"

    "Okay, until now that she had thought about it it had worked" Comma between the its?

    "(‘Argh, mah tung agairrn!’)" Maybe single apostrophe into double apostrophe?

    "wandered into MrGrizzle’s pen" Mr. Grizzle?

    "Rainbow felt whilst speaking whilst simultaneously healing" Whilst whilst.

    "amount of blood that were no longer" Change "were" to "was"?

    "her vital organs but slowly drying" Comma after "organs"?

    "They...Johnny will think" Space after "..."?

    "Roam glanced at ‘Starlight’" I don't think you need the apostrophes.

    "glistening with tears Roam leaned" Comma after tears?

    "across and, kissing Starlight" Maybe "across and kissed Starlight"?

    "The...The possibilities" Space after "..."?

    "anymore, Rarity” Puctuation after "Rarity"?

    "“Oh” moaned Rarity," Punctuation after "Oh" and period instead of comma after "Rarity".

    You asked for it :trollestia:

    #44 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841138

    *Stares blankly*

    I hate you because you show me all the ways I hate myself and because of that I love you more than I love

    SPPPPAAAAACCCCEEEEE

    Also I can't  fix the 1/2 and the 3/4 thing... I don't.... What...

    Bwuh?! I didn't even DO that?!

    #45 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Why are you arguing with the author on what he is implying in his own story...?

    Also anyone who has seen nightmare on elm street knew what they were in for. even those who only know the basis of the movies would know dark gory humor

    #46 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Of course Fluttershy would be that person who points out the lack of realism in a horror movie.

    #47 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841181

    It's not just me is it? I really hoped it wasn't just me....

    >>841185

    I'm glad that you like my interpretation of Fluttershy NOT being scared. Take THAT everyone but mine's expectation!

    *Does a merry little jig*

    #48 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #49 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841304

    If I'm paying for my crimes does that make it punitive damages then?

    I sinply can't keep getting away with this.

    #50 · 46w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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    TRIXIE NO!!!!! :raritydespair:

    #51 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841199

    It would have be just you... only you and forest fires

    #52 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841150

    No worries! 90% of the errors are comma-related. Don't hate yourself :pinkiehappy:

    #53 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841058

    MORON ALERT

    #54 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841395

    Actually turns out he was upset because he thought I made it so that Rainbow Dash Murdered Trixie.

    This one person may have delayed my will to write the next chapter by at least a day.

    #55 · 46w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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    Man, Trixie just does not have any luck with bears, does she?

    Wait, I should be using the past tense. :moustache:

    #56 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "All I’m saying is that the scene was all wrong. When a pony gets slashed like that they don’t go that limp, blood doesn’t spray that, well, that evenly, I’m sorry for being so, well, nitpicky, but they didn’t account for a heartbeat at all, the viscosity of the aortic blood was far too low and, oh listen to me rambling on, even for a cut to the chest that, well that deep, there was no sign of trauma to the vital organs, which is hardly scary at all."

    really fluttershy?? i think, somepony is spending too much time inside her shed again :yay:

    really good chapter, i love every moment in that mane 6 sleepover :twilightsmile:

    #57 · 46w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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    Oh dear...Poor Trixie. Her situation must have been unbearable!

    .............

    But no, seriously. I doubt she's actually dead. If she were, her ghost would be haunting Ponyville by strutting around the streets and screaming to everypony that she died in a valiant attempt to save a Pegasus from a rabid grizzly bear.

    #58 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Woah...

    just...

    woah...

    #59 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Woah...

    just...

    woah...

    #60 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I'm enjoying every bit of this story. Just saying. Don't let the haters get you down.

    #61 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841871

    I'm far more worried about where the other 4,200 readers went to be honest

    #62 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Is that a Meet The Pyro reference I spy?

    #64 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>839845>>841955 Sorry, but the award for best creative cursing goes to Littlepip.

    " Celestia's solar-flaring mareheat!"

    " Luna shove my cunt full of moonrocks and call me home."

    " Oh fuck me with the moon. Moon, sun, both of them. Rape me hard."

    #65 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841425

    Agreed, brother. Agreed.

    #66 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Your story is amazing, and you should feel amazing!

    I love this man. I am that person who ruins all of my friend's horror nights by describing traits that I just guessed and turned out to be true. It's funny, to tell the truth. And I must agree, they never compensate for the fact that the heart would still be pumping. The blood spills evenly for a while, and then stops. In real life, such wound would most likely not do that. Fluttershy knows it. :yay:

    #67 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>841674

    >>841150

    Wasn't me.

    :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

    >>841741

    Your lucky you didn't see the first time he wrote that scene. :pinkiecrazy:

    #68 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>840811

    It worked well. :pinkiehappy:

    >>840943

    It's not gore, and anyway, it's a fic based on a HORROR movie.

    >>840861

    kind of sick shit.

    :rainbowlaugh: You must be new to this.

    >>841199

    Take THAT everyone but mine's expectation
    .

    But... :fluttercry:

    #69 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Sometimes, I forget who you are and set you up with those amazing writers from all the different fics. Then I remember, and think to myself, Hoe, Lee, Fuck that's amazing!!

    Great chapter again. Can't wait for the next one, and cya Wednesday or some shit. :pinkiehappy:

    #70 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Wow. Rarity can be a BITCH

    #71 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dusty womb? Not if the rumors I hear are right :rainbowdetermined2:

    Beyond that, utter hilarity. Awesome.

    #72 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>839460

    you and me both pal :raritywink:

    #73 · 46w, 19h ago · · ·
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    Oh god, I can't wait for their reactions to the blood geyser Johnny will end up as...

    #74 · 46w, 18h ago · · ·
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    “All I’m saying is that the scene was all wrong. When a pony gets slashed like that they don’t go that limp, blood doesn’t spray that, well, that evenly, I’m sorry for being so, well, nitpicky, but they didn’t account for a heartbeat at all, the viscosity of the aortic blood was far too low and, oh listen to me rambling on, even for a cut to the chest that, well that deep, there was no sign of trauma to the vital organs, which is hardly scary at all.”

    ---

    Thank you so much for having Fluttershy say that and NOT Pinkie. Sorry, I just can't take anymore 'Cupcakes' references. :pinkiecrazy:

    Plus, it was epic coming from the shyest and kindest of the mane 6. :yay:

    #75 · 46w, 16h ago · · ·
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    >>84474

    Cough LesLuna, cough, Princess of the Mares of the Night, cough.

    >>845555

    You don't know how much it pleases me that you actually got this. You are like, nega-schpeela for getting such a blunt reference.

    People like you are why I bother writing this at all, thank you. urge to update... Rising....

    >>846890

    Babe. Plans.

    >>847248

    I've already established Pinkie as the most innocent and naive of the Mane 6 in this and that's how it's going to stay damnit. Fluttershy, however, is probably the only pony in Ponyville to feed their own carnivores. Just because she's very nice about killing things doesn't stop her from being the most experienced killing machine in the room. She will lovingly break a neck to stop her other babies going hungry.

    You will never, ever look at her the same way now that I pointed this out.

    #76 · 46w, 15h ago · · ·
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    His plot isn't the only thing that's thickening.

    OH! *air thrust*

    But no really, good fic thus far! Keep up the good work!

    #77 · 46w, 11h ago · · ·
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    Oh my puns. For being a horror movie, this is hysterical. Although the best way to view horror movies IS as comedies...

    #78 · 46w, 6h ago · · ·
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    “It was late one night, and some strange unicorn I’ve never seen before wandered into Mr. Grizzle’s pen.” Fluttershy shook her head ruefully. “You can... You can probably guess what happened.”

    Every pony else shuddered in terror at the thought. Giant, fearsome grizzly bear versus tiny blue unicorn, that couldn’t have ended well. It was then that Twilight tilted her head curiously. “Blue unicorn,” she thought aloud. “Why would a blue unicorn run away from Ponyville?”

    Where did blue unicorn come from?

    fluttershy never says anything about a blue unicorn...:trixieshiftright:

    #79 · 46w, 6h ago · · ·
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    Flutter shy never said the unicorn was blue.

    #80 · 46w, 4h ago · · ·
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    >>849546>>849565

    You lucky sods have just seen the muchly improved pro-edit of the fic, chapter one and four are now cybernetically enhanced super-chapters with laser eyes and in built foot massager.

    I er... May have dropped the first blue like a baby on its head by mistake in the process though.

    #81 · 46w, 4h ago · · ·
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    >>849909

    ...

    WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? :flutterrage:

    #82 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Just....hysterical.

    There is little brilliance that can compare, I cracked up numerous times per chapter, and I certainly hope you make another fic like this when this one's done. :rainbowlaugh:

    #83 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I admit, I always hate it when in these types of stories the killer goes after teenagers for the simple reason that he's a douchebag and that's it. Wes Craven's last movie had some dead guy kill a bunch of teenagers for the complex reason...that they were all born on the day he died. That's it. So I deserve to die because my mother wimped out and decided to have me early after reading 50 Shades of Grey and wanted to have kinky sex again without the baby on board killing any hope for sexiness?

    Ignoring my hate for this kind of story(and my rambling), I love the jokes you're coming up with. Fluttershy's diagnosis on how Starlight's death makes no sense had me tearing up in laughs.

    #84 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I love this, this is hilarious.  Please continue... :twilightsmile:

    #85 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    If this rolls like the original Nightmare (That's what I'm gonna call it), Feather is going to survive? I want to be surprised if she doesn't.

    #86 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Someone seriously got bothered by black comedy? Umm... Ever seen South Park or Robot Chicken or Family Guy? It's not mindless gore for the lulz, it's comedy about death from getting mauled by a bear. Which is pretty funny considering the irony.

    i enjoyed the physics jokes, very well done.

    I expected the Dr Whooves joke before it came, but it was still great when it happened.

    As a comedy, :pinkiehappy:, but as a horror/dark... Eh.

    #87 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Hm.

    So when roughtly in the tl is this set?

    Because it is rather interesting that the characters in the movie know about Luna and use her for swearing. That would probably put the movie a few years back from the first episode at least is my guess.

    And then there is the question who is playing NMM ^.^

    #88 · 45w, 6d ago · · ·
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    :trixieshiftright: vs bear!

    #89 · 45w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>843218 OK, links and titles, I gotta read these stories.

    #90 · 45w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Another great chapter! Nice job showing two plots at once.

    #91 · 44w, 5d ago · · ·
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    This is brilliant, keep it up :twilightsmile:

    >>842744 Where is this from?

    #92 · 44w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>898294

    That's a screencap from "The Iron Giant", an animated film.

    #93 · 44w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>898375 Ahh, the Iron Giant. I knew I remembered it, but it's been years.

    #94 · 44w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>843218 I gotta say, the last one was always my favorite, you gotta wonder how Kkat came up with the curses though

    >>868907 They are all in Fallout: Equestria that link also has a PDF of all of the pages which you can put on your kindle or something (which you may want to do since there are 2000 pages :pinkiecrazy:)

    #95 · 44w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>898745

    http://falloutequestria.wikia.com/wiki/Swearing

    #96 · 44w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Mine was the 666th like...:pinkiecrazy:

    Really like the story, and how you have the ponies interacting with one another during the movie. Keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

    #97 · 44w, 4d ago · · ·
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    #98 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Whatever happened to the updates? I was enjoying this so much! :fluttercry:

    This is really good! Please don't stop! :raritycry:

    #99 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>913195

    Believe it or not I've been waiting for someone, anyone, to ask.

    Dealing with the first week back at school which is really a big trigger for my depression. Now, I'm not outright sad all the time but it makes it really hard for me to do anything other than sleep.

    I can't write in my sleep, no matter how really really cool that would be.

    Also EQD said it wasn't good enough and that bummed me out a bit too, ahaha, but I promise I'll get back to it soon.

    #100 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>914038

    Good luck with school and everything! You're not alone. I feel that way sometimes, too. Also, I don't read EQD, but I've heard that some of the best stories (which happen to also be my personal favorites) have been rejected for really stupid reasons, so don't get too down about that. :twilightsmile:

    I'm glad you haven't stopped writing, because I want to keep reading!

    P.S. It WOULD be cool to be able to write in your sleep!

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