Since time immemorial, the God-Queen Celestia has ruled over Equestria, protecting it from harm. Without beginning, without end, the pinnacle of ponydom, the living embodiment of the Sun, eternal and unchanging, She has guarded Equestria from all who might wish to disturb its harmonious existence, keeping it safe, and serene to the point stagnation.
Then one day she takes a student.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is terrific! The Minister demands more!
"This story is an examination of what truly deifying Celestia and Luna might entail, and is based on a brief exchange I had where I opined that, if portrayed as deities, they should never be used as main characters."
Well, that depends a lot on what sort of deities they are, no? If you look at human myth a lot of Gods were quite capable of doing the human relatable thing, and often (see Greek, Norse mythology) were essentially outsized (in all ways) humans. Indeed, during the first period of MLP, before they nerfed Princess Celestia and made her the regular punching bag of the villain of the season ender/opener, a lot of fanfics were written with the Princesses as various sorts of divine/semi-divine beings, often in a central role, (some people give canon the middle finger and still are https://www.fimfiction.net/story/329065/the-gathering ) And most often it didn't involve making them beings of almost Lovecraftian Otherness.
(Of course, some ran with that, too... http://nanhart.deviantart.com/art/The-Sun-Is-212732769
)
Not that I'm saying it's not a good story so far, and I'm interested in seeing where it goes, but it hardly makes your point one way or another.
7585158 The classic 'god' vs. 'God' differentiation. I would argue that
A. The differentiation is increasingly meaningless in the secular, science-based world we live in. Any being of sufficiently increased power and awareness would essentially be a 'God', and likely terrify anyone they came into contact with, and
B. Particularly with the Greek gods (I haven't read as much Norse mythology) I don't recall that we ever see the world from the god's perspectives. (Hercules being the exception, but then he's more of a demigod). We only know the humans that they interact with. When the gods present themselves we don't often know their motives or why they choose to intervene when they do. Yes, they are petty, and not really omniscient or benevolent, but neither are they really straightforward, knowable creatures.
Either way, this story isn't supposed to be proof, but more of an exploration or thought experiment.
I hope you enjoy it.
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We secular scientific peoples have a term for "beings of sufficiently increased awareness and power." We call them "advanced aliens."
Gods do a fair amount of chatting and arguing
with each other in the Odyssey and the Illiad.
As a thought experiment it's quite interesting, and I'm curious to see where you go with it. It's hard to see what Twilight (hasn't Celestia been teaching her advanced magic and stuff? Heck, she doesn't even have a Moses-type miracle rod) and her pals can achieve against such odds, but presumably Celestia Knows Best and it will turn out for Nightmare Moon about as well as shanking Aslan did for the White Witch.
I must commend you on a couple of intriguing introductory chapters - while not my usual cup of tea, and far from the first time I have seen the idea of Alicorns being some more/otherworldly/alien being explored, yours is written in excellent quality. You are good at evoking powerful imagery and establishing atmosphere, which works greatly to your advantage when it comes to Celestia and Luna - the feeling that there is much more to them, something beyond reach and simple understanding, something otherworldly that's as mesmerizing as it is terrifying - you convey those feelings very well, which is crucial for a story of this type to work.
And it does. Unlike in canon, one can easily see why this Celestia would have Twilight terrified out of her mind (much to Celestia's own chagrin, I imagine) - despite her acting (or trying to) with more familiarity than canon Celestia towards her pupil, she still can't help but come across as an alien being who doesn't exist on quite the same wavelength as the normal ponies.
And it will be interesting to see this alternate Equestria being explored - because it's quite interesting that while this Equestria has had a literal divine being guiding it through millenia (as opposed to "just" a normal alicorn Celestia), it has evidently come out much worse for it, if Twilight having reason to fear for her life if she ever lost Celestia's favor is indeed true. It seems like Celestia, in her quest to not impose her divine will upon the mortals, has slipped too far in the other direction and hasn't provided any intervention or been a regulating force at all, if her "advisors" are allowed to continuously try and impose things in her name she doesn't even like or approve of.
Add in the more sinister Elements and the wildcard that is the second alien being known as Luna (speaking of which, I think you should have had Twilight show some discomfort when Luna hugged her in the end together with Celestia - no way would have she been comfortable with accepting it from this individual just yet, me thinks) and I find myself very much looking towards where you will take the story.
I only hope it won't be a literal retelling of the show episodes, with minor variations to account for differences between the universes - it works fine for the introductory chapters in order to establish differences between the worlds early on and allow us to see how it will shape future from the very beginning, but I have rarely seen the approach work out long-term.
On another note, you get actual bonus points for having Twilight express interest in males - even if it's just a humorous mention in the first chapter, it allows me some hope that this won't be yet another story with TwiDash (and other assorted inter-mane-six pairings) shoehorned in - that's almost a rarity in itself these days
All in all - a quite impressive start, and you have me eagerly waiting for more.
when the weight of words written a millennia ago hit you like a freight train... man i don't blame spike at all.
and i guess this is my first foray into reading of actual goddess celestia. you've got me hooked and now i'm gonna spend all of tomorrow afternoon tracking them down to consume.
now, a question. the love that celesita wants. is what she's asking from twilight the same as everypony? is this a situation where shes given up on asking to be called just celestia and everypony just calls her what they think is the highest level of respect?
as an actual god, knowing all and everything, she can determine the moment somepony creates the strands of friendship and the higher level of love, familial or lust?
i'm going to attribute that to her being her.
you have flawless decision making on the checkpoints you cherry picked. while disappointed that its length isn't what i thought it was going to be, it was wholly satisfactory.
So, did Twilight ascend to godhood in the end there? Otherwise this was an incredible story, really captures the true feel of divinity.
This is what I think Equestria would be like if My Little Pony was taken seriously
.
This was great, really enjoyed it. Did Twilight ascend at the end there though? I wasn't really sure
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My intent was more to hint at the ascension to come, rather than imply that it had already happened. However it works best for you
Finally, I've been looking for this story for hours. Read it years ago and remembered it, but couldn't find it again. It's still great, and vastly underrated, I see.