75w, 2dHuman in Equestria
70w, 5dPinkie Pies Only!
73w, 5dTwilight's Library
60w, 4dfimfiction's favorites
59w, 6d501st Party Brigade
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66w, 12hAlternate Perspectives
29w, 1dStories I've read
20w, 2dThe Dreamers
33w, 6dThe Good HiE List
21w, 3dKing Sombra & Trixie Fanfic
28w, 6dHumans turned ???
4w, 3dThe 1000 Up Vote Club
8w, 21hWhy am I _X_?
7w, 3dHuman to filly/colt
4w, 6dAnti-Depression Ponies
4w, 1dAnother Pinkie Pie group!
1d, 16hHidden library
WednesdayMore Sunflower fanart! 35 comments · 361 views
SundayNew chapter, and thoughts on the current season of MLP 11 comments · 291 views
3w, 1hNew School of Hard Knocks update 7 comments · 176 views
5w, 3dGeneral update 15 comments · 222 views
8w, 3dAnother nifty thing! 7 comments · 231 views
8w, 6dHere's a nifty thing! 27 comments · 370 views
11w, 2dMalachite Fanart - Project: Sunflower spoilers ahead! 12 comments · 435 views
12w, 4dSunflower comic! 18 comments · 410 views
13w, 3dSchool of Hard Knocks update 1 comments · 162 views
18w, 48mNew Side Projects one-shot 7 comments · 228 views
Ah, it was nice and quiet last night. No barking dogs, or anything! So peaceful. Oh, speaking of pets, that reminds me... I hope somepony is taking good care of Gummy!
Anyway, I'm much better now. I know I had a pretty bad freakout and everything, but right now, I'm pretty calm. Relatively calm. Sort of.
So, I'm still pretty worked up, but not as bad as back then. Let's just not talk about what happened. It's really embarrassing.
Okay, okay. I suppose it's only fair that I go into it. After all, if I'm asking for help, I should really I get the whole story out there.
So, Twilight marched back upstairs, trailing an apologetic Spike behind her. Rainbow Dash was standing next to me, wearing an alien costume sporting bobbling antenna (with stars on them) on her head. And I... felt... this weird pulsing sensation... in my brain.
Rainbow must have sensed that I was mildly perturbed, because she gave me this kind of wary look and goes, all innocent-like, "Hey, everything okay, Pinkie?"
It was like my head, all on it's own, rotated very, very slowly to face her. And, I don't know, I guess maybe I was in her personal space a little, because she took a step back.
I wanted to reassure her that everything was fine, just fine. So I smiled at her. But for some reason she took a couple more steps back. I don't know why, I was being perfectly friendly! I was smiling and everything! But I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just kept smiling.
I think my left eye might have twitched a little.
"Um... You're looking... kinda freaky, there. Are you okay?"
She looked a little worried and freaked out right then. Since it was supposed to be me that was freaking out, and not her, that seemed funny. Especially since I wasn't freaking out at all. I was just fine. My smile widened and I started laughing a little.
"heh. heh. heh."
"Okay, you're weirding me out, now," Rainbow said, as she took yet another step back. Why was she so nervous? It's not like I was going to... I don't know, do something horrible to her! Maybe something involving the forced removal and reinsertion of that Lycra body suit she was wearing! Or having her find out if those springy antenna things were edible!
"Heh. Hah. Heh heh ha!"
"Uhh... I think it's time for me to go," she said, as her rump hit the bookshelf behind her. And, wow! I hadn't realized how far across the room she'd moved! Of course, I probably hadn't noticed because I was still just a couple of inches away from her face, stepping forward every time she stepped back.
I felt my eye twitch again. I tell you, that was sure annoying!
"Is this about the prank?" she asked, as I stood in front of her with a big grin on my face.
The prank? Oh, that was so funny! So I laughed even more!
"Hah ha! Hah hah hah!"
"You're really freaking me out, Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow Dash said, and then I literally just felt something go *snap!* in my head. I think whatever it was that broke was attached to my smile muscles, because my smile suddenly vanished. It was either that or my mane, which suddenly de-poofed right then and there.
"My. Name. Is. Not. PINKIE PIE!!!" I informed her. Pretty calmly, I think. Under the circumstances, I mean. Though, I think I did get a little bit.. shrill... at the end, there.
Seriously, though, how many times do I have to say it? Doesn't that pony ever listen?
Anyway, Dash responded by going "Gaah!", jumping up into the air, and then flying out the window.
Oh, no. We're not having any of that! I have to let her know just how much I appreciated her help! I felt my grin re-attatch itself to my face, though my mane and tail stayed perfectly straight (in retrospect, I probably should have been concerned about that). I barged out of the door, looking around for a rainbow-hued contrail.
I spotted it streaking away down the street. Smiling at the world in general, I took off after her.
I got to see a lot of Ponyville that afternoon! It was like a big old game of tag, and I had to go make Rainbow Dash "it"! I sprinted after her as fast as I could, which I believe I've mentioned is pretty darned fast.
I dodged ponies, zipped around market stalls, hurdled over Mr. Waddle (who's also a pony, but a very old one), and never, ever once lost sight of that rainbow contrail. Which was kind of nice that something was going right, for a change!
I'd always wondered how Pinkie Pie had managed to get ahead of Rainbow Dash in the cartoon. It turns out that Pinkie is just really, really fast, and Rainbow Dash always telegraphs exactly where she's going. I think my favorite was when I slowly raised myself out of a garbage can behind her, lid balanced precariously on my head, while she was peeking around the corner to see where I was. I leaned forward and whispered "boo" into her ear.
Maybe it was just my imagination that the resulting rainbow contrail as she sped away was slightly more yellow than usual. Maybe.
Anyway, I think Rainbow Dash thought, for some reason, that she could finally lose me in an alleyway, because that's the last place that I found her hiding. I mean, it was perfectly obvious where she was. Somehow.
I don't know, maybe it was Pinkie Sense that told me where she was hiding. Or maybe she's just really really bad at hide and seek. I got to the alleyway entrance and stood there, staring at the boxes that Rainbow was hiding behind.
"Oh, Rainbow Da~ash!" I sing-songed, "Come on out! I just want to play with you!"
Rainbow Dash went "Gah!" again, which reminded me of when I was first experimenting with my new voice, and I started giggling a little bit. She threw a panicked look at me and launched herself into the air, taking off over the rooftops.
Rooftops? Now, that was no fair! I jumped up on the boxes that she'd hid behind, and then bounced from there up to the nearest roof. The roof wasn't too high, maybe only fifteen feet off the ground, and the boxes got me halfway there, so it was easy-peasy!
I started to run after her again, jumping from roof to roof. I don't know, for the fastest flyer in Equestria, she sure seemed... I don't know, a little slow. Maybe it was that stupid costume she was wearing, increasing her drag, or something. But I was catching up to her pretty quickly!
I think she noticed that, because she abandoned the rooftops and flew out over the open marketplace. Oh, clever girl! Nothing but obstacles in my way, which she could just fly over! I jumped down off the roof, determined to catch up with her. My eyes were watering pretty heavily at this point. I think I was forgetting to blink, actually.
It was wall-to-wall stalls in the market place, which might have proven tricky if I didn't get the brilliant idea to go through them instead of wasting all that time going around them. It was like making my own very special shortcut!
Rainbow was running out of steam, it looked like. She'd been flying flat out for a while now, and she finally landed. Right by Applejack's stall, no less!
Strangely enough, I felt perfectly fine! I had energy to spare! I could almost feel it sparking off of my coat!
As I ran up, I heard Rainbow Dash pleading with Applejack.
"You gotta help me!" she said to the apple vendor. "Pinkie's gone nuts and I think she's trying to get me!"
"I'm not trying to get you, Rainbow Dash!" I said, wide-eyed and grinning. "I just wanted to tell you how funny I thought your prank was!"
"Help me!" Rainbow begged.
"Now you two can just quit it," Applejack said sternly as I stalked towards them. "Ah ain't playin' any of your stupid 'alien invader' games. Ah got apples to sell!"
"Of course you do! You're Applejack!" I said, laughing shrilly. AJ looked at me like I'd maybe grown a second head.
"I'm not playing, AJ!" Rainbow Dash said. "I think there's really something wrong with her!"
"Ah reckon' you may be right," Applejack said, eying me warily.
"Something wrong with me?" I echoed. How absurd! Except for the whole being a human stuck in a pony thing, of course. I tilted my head to the side as I tried to filter that information. I made sure to keep on smiling, though. You know, to put them at ease, and all.
For some reason, I don't think it worked.
"There's something very wrong with you!" Rainbow Dash said from behind Applejack.
"There's nothing wrong with me, Rainbow Dash!" I said with a high-pitched giggle, shaking my head in disbelief. A couple bits of wood fell out of my mane when I did that, probably from the stalls I'd crashed through a little while ago. You'd think they'd make them sturdier than that! "I'm not the one wearing a grey alien suit! I'm not the one with the bobbling antenna headband!"
I was walking towards them as I was saying this, by the way.
"I'm not the one who showed up at just the perfect time to ruin any chance that I had to get home, by convincing Twilight Sparkle that anything I was going to say to her was part of some silly joke!"
AJ had backed up against her stall now, and Rainbow Dash was hiding behind it. I noticed that there was quite a crowd of ponies around the three of us, now. Though, they all seemed to want to stay pretty far back, for some reason.
"Ah don't know what's goin' on here, but Ah reckon' it's gone on far enough," Applejack said, trying to sound reasonable. I just blinked at her a bunch of times, though that was just because I was trying to catch up on all the blinking I'd missed out on earlier. "It don't seem like Rainbow Dash is having fun anymore, so maybe it's time we all just went home. All right, Pinkie Pie?"
I took a deep breath, getting ready to loudly assert yet again that I was not Pinkie Pie, when something Applejack said resonated with me.
Rainbow Dash... is not having fun? For some reason, that really shook me. That's when my head-voice re-entered the scene.
Don't you think that's enough, now? it said. You're scaring them.
And that's when I realized that, yeah, I had gone just a little bit off the deep end, there. I felt the crazy-smile fading as I looked at the two ponies in front of me.
"I'm... I'm sorry," I said, truly remorseful. "You're right, Applejack. I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I didn't mean to..."
"That's her, officers!" a voice said behind me, and I turned to see Carrot Harvest, or whatever her name is, coming up behind me, flanked by three ponies. Two of whom were earth ponies in uniforms of some kind, and one of whom was a unicorn wearing a white labcoat.
"Who, me?" I asked, incredulously. They couldn't be after me, could they?
"She wrecked my stall!" Golden Top said. "She's a danger to the community!"
"I'm not a danger, I'm an alien!" I said. Which, in retrospect, was probably an unwise thing to say, and is probably why things unfolded like they did.
The two police officers (I didn't know Ponyville had police, but honestly, what else could they be?) looked at each other and nodded.
"Why not just come with us, miss?" the one on the left said, in what was probably meant to be a soothing voice, except it sounded like he gargled with pointy rocks.
"Let's just stay calm, and we can work all this out in a rational manner," said the one on the right.
"I am calm!" I said, though I was lying. I was starting to feel pretty nervous, actually.
"Um, officers? Ah think my friend Pinkie here is just a mite stressed out. Why don't you let me take her home, and-"
"Please stay back, ma'am," Righty told Applejack, while Lefty moved over to my left side.
Hoo, boy. This wasn't going to be good. They were surrounding me!
"Look, officers... I'll fix the damage, I promise!" I said, then I looked at the ruined market stalls. Hmm. Probably not. They were just a little bit... exploded. "Or, I'll buy them new ones! How does that sound?"
"That sounds good," Lefty said, soothingly. "How about we just go downtown and work this all out?"
"I guess... wait, Ponyville has a downtown?"
"Get her!" Righty said, and they both lunged for me.
I jumped straight up in the air, and the two officers did a coconut-bonk off of each others skulls. I landed amidst the jumbled limbs and immediately took off. Unfortunately, that took me straight towards Carrot Butt, who collapsed to the ground, shrieking "She's gonna eat me!"
"That's stupid!" I yelled as I ran away. "Stop being stupid!"
I didn't make it far, though, because a glowing magical field lifted me up off the ground. It was coming from that unicorn in the lab coat! My legs pedaled uselessly in the air as I tried to get away from him.
"Applejack, Rainbow Dash, listen to me, please!" I said, as the doctor approached me. The two police ponies were groggily getting up, massaging their heads as they did so.
Oh, things weren't looking too good for human Pinkie Pie! But at least I had AJ's and RD's attention!
"I'm sorry I scared you, I really am!" I said, desperately, as the approaching doctor used his telekinesis to pull something out of his coat that I couldn't quite make out. "But you have to believe me! Tell Twilight Sparkle!"
The cop-ponies were closing in, looking grim. The doctor was fiddling with the whatever-it-was he'd pulled out of the lab coat. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at me with expressions that said that they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing.
"Tell her I Pinkie Promise that I'm really an alien, trapped in Pinkie Pie's body!" I yelled. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my... butt?"
No, I didn't forget how the thing went, that deranged doctor pony had stuck a needle into my rump!
I immediately started to feel woozy, and I knew that I had been jabbed with a sedative. That was just so not fair! Before I lost consciousness, I shouted my frustration and fury to the sky, decrying this injustice to the very heavens themselves:
"I only wanted to get some lightbuuuulbs!"
As epic last words go, that could probably use some work.
My vision started to dim, and the last thing I remember seeing before blacking out was both Rainbow and AJ looking at me with shocked expressions on their faces.
I don't know how much later it was that I woke up here. But when I did wake up, it was in a padded room, with my forelegs stuck into a straight jacket. They thought I was a crazy pony!
Anyway, I've been here two nights, now. I haven't seen anypony but the nurses, who bring me pills and help me use the bathroom when I need it, and the orderlies, who bring me lunch, and then watch me eat it, then count the utensils before they go. I guess the doctor is going to interview me later on today. But for now, I've got nothing to do but stare at these padded walls.
Which is why I've tried to send this message out to you. Basically, I've got nothing better to do!
Anyway, here comes the orderly with my food. So, I'll pick my story up after lunch, which is... Mmm! Pureed carrots! Delish!
That was sarcasm. Please help me!