• Member Since 4th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 24th, 2017

bnewton


Brony with creative juices, that is all.

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Conflict's tale is told, in stranger ways than yet seen. Fighting shed a new light.

Please read some of my other "Element of" stories as well.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

Uhh... alright. Interesting.

I actually almost want to see where this is going. I can see this becoming either awesome or a brutal train wreck. I really don't know which. A little bit of grammar here and there, but overall that aspect is pretty good.

Writing in a cynical, satirical first person is a huge red flag. Yes, it can be funny, but it's been done to death. Of course, if you can do it well, then you deserve praise, since it's hard to pull off.

And as for the titles... The Element of Conflict and The Ali-Earth Colt are both very cliche sounding. A seventh element is a common recipe in bad self-insert fics.

Admittedly the Ali-Earth thing is new to me, but just because an idea is new doesn't mean it's good. OC Alicorn stories are almost always bad. It's just a topic to avoid... but maybe you're doing that on purpose?

All in all, I think this could actually work if the story doesn't take itself too seriously. But if you were actually trying to write a serious story then uhh... maybe this isn't the best subject matter.

1175705 I'm sorry good sir, but there is no self-insert, nor is the element of conflict an element of harmony. This is one story of, oh, I don't know, six? These stories in question take place around the same time-ish, and when all of those stories get finished. There will be a finale of sorts, where all six befriend one another, and face an unnamed threat.I'm obviously awesome as Dashie times infinity, so I can't be in a story.

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