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ChaoticHarmony 40283137

Joined May 2012
482 followers

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    ChaoticHarmony's Stories (40)

    • The Game of Immortality
      Colgate's cutie mark is of an hourglass, but what exacly does this mean?

      2,780 words · 812 views · 83 likes · 0 dislikes
    • The Party is Over
      What happens when Pinkie runs out of party?
      1,708 words · 702 views · 57 likes · 0 dislikes
    • A Wish
      Sometimes a wish is made of something magical, but other times we find it made up of nothing but hopeful thoughts.
      1,242 words · 644 views · 81 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Shards of Hatred
      Twilight Sparkle finds a new powerful kind of magic. The question is, does she control it or does it control her?
      23,638 words · 4,609 views · 382 likes · 18 dislikes
    • Something to Remember me by
      7,255 words · 1,428 views · 117 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Changing Flows
      16,832 words · 1,813 views · 202 likes · 8 dislikes
    • Faded Rainbows
      1,340 words · 1,142 views · 71 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Keepsake Apples
      4,778 words · 851 views · 64 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Drops of Moonlight
      5,031 words · 601 views · 42 likes · 0 dislikes
    • You Want to Do What Now?
      1,113 words · 885 views · 74 likes · 2 dislikes

    Screw Loose had always been...different.  When other foals wanted to sleep, she always wanted to play and have fun.  Some ponies had always said she could compete with Pinkie Pie in terms of randomness.  Receiving your Cutie Mark is seen as fate handing you your new life.  But for Screw Loose, cruel fate has taken instead of given.

    Special thanks to VexPon for the coverart!

    DA. http://vexpon.deviantart.com/

    First Published
    26th Jun 2012
    Last Modified
    26th Jun 2012

    Comments ( 33 )

    #1 · 47w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Poor Pony.:raritydespair:

    #2 · 47w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Oh God... Poor, Poor Pony... Why... I mean... Just... I'll get a picture...

    #4 · 47w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>812240 Really? :rainbowhuh:   Darkfic was a success then! :trollestia:

    #5 · 47w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Oh God...

    that is all I have to say to this

    #6 · 47w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>812243 Yes, Yes it was. :fluttercry:

    #7 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>813516 Well, it DOES have all 3 tags y'know....

    #8 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>813670 "I enjoyed it" :rainbowhuh: sometimes I worry about people.......:facehoof:

    #9 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

    WELL SHIT

    ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

    #10 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    woah... didn't see that coming.

    #11 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>813893 I don't think anyone did :twilightsmile:

    #12 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Wow, that was pretty *ucking dark... I still liked it though, I hope you'll write more darkfics later, you are... disturbingly good at it! (Like everything else you write, how do you do that?!)

    #13 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    That was very enjoyable. Given that I am insanely fucked up in  every sense of the term, I had this look on my face the whole time: :pinkiehappy:

    You: :rainbowhuh:

    Me: :pinkiecrazy:

    #14 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    :( That was a great dark fic, and I love your writing.

    XiF
    #15 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    The last paragraph made me smile. :rainbowlaugh:

    #16 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Oh... my... Luna. o_o;; :twilightoops:

    Good concept and style. I would've liked to see a little more back story, though. An explanation for why those bullies weren't prosecuted after putting her in traction twice would've been nice, for example.

    Thumbs-up! This earns three Pinkie Pies. :pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile:

    #18 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    That was one of the darkest stories I have ever read, and I read edgar Allen Poe. Screwey reminds a lot of baby doll from batman in which she has a cheery, insane demeanor to a dark and loath full. All in all this was just great.

    #19 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>815365 Thanks :pinkiehappy: This was my first time at attempting something like this :rainbowkiss:

    #20 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I can't for the life of me, figure out what she is missing in the last paragraph.

    It makes me sad.

    Maybe she is missing lots of things.

    That makes me even sadder.

    Maybe she just lost everything?

    Now I am sobbing. I hate those cruel ponies.

    Why!?

    #21 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>815893 erm... She lost the sane part of herself

    And why?  Because.

    #22 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    A good premise, good backstory you have there.

    I think you could make it ten times better by expanding a bit, the story seems rushed as it is now. Maybe a bit more of a struggle, more thrill. A bit more in-the-moment stuff. I mean, I feel detached at the end, whereas I know it has the potential to be a heartbreaking moment if you expand the story a bit. :twilightsmile:

    #23 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    this is just so horrible. and to think it could actually happen in real life too. its just so absolutely sad. :fluttercry::raritydespair::raritycry::applecry:

    #24 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>817356 That is the message I was trying to send.  This DOES happen in real life, and it should be stopped.  It should have never happened.

    #26 · 47w, 3d ago · · ·
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    :applecry:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    #27 · 46w, 3d ago · · ·
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    It pains me to think that any living creature can be that intentionally cruel... Tis truly painful.

    #28 · 46w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>859003  This is the message I was trying to send.  It does happen in our world.  It really does, and it pains me to think of it too.

    *Hugs and turns away to wipe at a man-tear*

    #29 · 45w, 5d ago · · ·
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    :fluttercry::applecry::pinkiesad2::raritydespair::raritycry:

    Poor pony that gets hit all the time....

    #30 · 45w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>887011  Hmm.... if THIS made you sad... you should read my other fics.  I suggest my Trixie one.

    #31 · 25w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I just noticed that this has both the  'Sad' & 'Tragedy' tags, which are mutually exclusive and they ask authors not to label stories with both...though it doesn't seem like they enforce it?

    Sad is just a good tear-jerker. You know little Timmy's dog gets hit by a car, or X pony comes down with an incurable disease.

    Ex. The Unread Letter

    Tragedy is when your (main) character's life is torn apart around them, usually because of their own failings or shortcomings - a true, classic Tragedy will always end with them worse off than when they began.

    Ex. TAC: The Fall (Yes, this is a shameless plug...)

    From what I have read here, I can honestly say that this is one of the few that I can't decide on which it should have? On one hand it reads like a Tragedy, but in reality, Screw Loose came into this story with nothing and leaves much the same way, though it is implied that she has lost so much more...? It seems like too deep and philosophical a story to simply label 'Sad', but at the same time, I question if 'Sad' and 'Dark' aren't the right combination?

    #32 · 20w, 6d ago · 1 · ·
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    All these feels... Screw Loose is best pony :twilightsmile: You described her perfectly, great job!

    #33 · 20w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1876731 I'm glad you liked one of my older fanfics!  Maybe you could go read some of the newer ones eh?  :rainbowwild:

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