• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 2nd, 2021

SplashOColor


You may call me Splash. I'm here to post stories, and i don't care what mean people think of me, though i will take criticism when it comes

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Prince Blueblood is being forced to spend time with Big Macintosh to learn to become more polite. romance ensues as he find big macintosh more and more attractive

edited by my AMAZING friend harmony shadows she is the bomb and i bow before her greatness. it features m/m shiping do not like? do not read.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

I don't like m/m shipping, but you can't tell me what to do! :flutterrage:
I'm going to read and fave it anyways! Watcha gonna do about it?

excuse me, but are the misspellings in the image intentional? I can't tell.

Never in a million years would I have imagined this ship, you sir take the award for 'most cracked shipping out there'

809683 oh drat so didn't see those :facehoof: thanks for the heads up.

809800 apple jack and deapool

809683 i Splash O'Color am not smart pony sorry :fluttershysad: its why i need the most amazing Harmony Sadows to fix my stories :heart:

Hehehe, I like it! :rainbowkiss:

:pinkiehappy: you guys really like the story?? This'll make my little writer happy but make sure his ego doesn't get too big okay? :raritywink:

812268 oh hush you my ego never get inflated your the one we should worry about :trollestia:

812281 I believe what you meant to type was " Oh hush you, my ego would never get inflated... you're the one we should worry about " :facehoof: even with comments I need to edit for you..

812295 but you love me anyway :scootangel:

812321 :fluttershysad: b-b-but :fluttercry: your my friend

812334 I'm your editor...there's a difference.:trixieshiftright:
Now Get Back To Work On Your Next Story Splash and it better be 20% cooler :rainbowdetermined2:

812342 fine your such a slave driver :trixieshiftleft:

The story was nice, but it seemed to be really rushed near the end. The set up was good, but once you got to the last few paragraphs you really sped through the last scenes. Each paragraph and event could have easily been elongated to it's own chapter (Fluttershy's lesson, dinner at the cafe, the confession scene). Don't be in such a rush to get to the good bits, and take time to develop the story and relationship between the Blue and Mac, Blue seemed to make a 180 a little to quickly with his feelings to Mac. Overall good writing and premise but work on your pacing.

I love that you're doing/did a Big Mac x Blueblood fic, that's a pairing I thought I would never see written, but have always wanted to read. But I find a Big Mac with as much dialogue as yours a bit OOC; even though it's hard, try to use Big Mac's silence to your advantage. Your paragraphs and pacing are a little weird. Dialogue usually starts a new paragraph; here's a website that can help you better than I can for that. http://home.mchsi.com/~webclass/dialoguerules.htm

Thank you for reading this! Can't wait for more.

818778 yeah i did feel my pacing was a bit off i'll try to work on it with some different writing exercises a friend taught me, my editor and i are planing to do more with this set up so i'll try to make it a bit more well paced. thank you for the advice. :raritywink:

818790 i should thank YOU for reading my story! and yeah i plan on using his silence more in some more Big Mac x Blueblood fics i plan to do. i'll also try and work on my pacing (i'll have Harmony work on it to cuase she plans on writing her own stories with out me :derpytongue2:

I almost barfed! I can not see these two together!:pinkiesick::flutterrage:

835145 that was the point :raritywink: i didn't want to do something typical.. that would just be boring. im sorry you disagree with my pairing but a few bad comments wont ruin my enjoyment writing things i would like. :twilightsmile:

kind of jumped from dinner to stay with me.

feels like a jerky transition. Very little showing on how mac went from yer a jerk to lets party.:twilightoops:

otherwise, nice story idea.

>>SplashOColor No I love the pairing it's just weird to see anyone with Blueblood.He's a royal pain in the butt.:rainbowwild:

837595 yeah sorry im still a little noobish when it comes to writing. but don't worry im working on my pacing i'll do my best. i'll try harder in my later stories. sorry agian about my pacing near the end.

841252 i agree with that totally but that's why this needed to be done he needed a swift kick in the rear. big mac was the pony for the job.

Oh wonderful.. more people liking his story :facehoof: I'll never hear the end of this from him but as long as he's :pinkiehappy: and not :pinkiecrazy: it should be all good

842034 you know im alway :pinkiecrazy: and :pinkiehappy: at the same time hehe :derpytongue2:

I haven't gotten through the whole story yet but I had a few thoughts so far.

The premise is interesting and I like the unusual pairing. This has the potential to be a very good story.

A couple points I hope you find constructive as you develop your writing style: First, try to avoid run-on sentences. Quite a few in the paragraphs I've read so far should have been broken up into at least three or four separate sentences. Second, keep a thesaurus at hand. Avoid using the same adjectives over and over, especially in the same paragraph.

I will finish reading and I gave you a thumbs up for the overall idea of the story. I do hope you find my comments helpful. This is a more unique premise for a pairing from the normal shipping fics I've read. If this is an indication of your overall style, I think you could write great stories with a little brushing up on sentence structure, dialogue rules, and use of a more expanded vocabulary.

Well done.:pinkiesmile:

865822 thanks for the tips. and yeah i am overly creative when i write i will try to buy a thesaurus or use my editor and such. i will be creative when i write stories hope you like what else i come up with. :twilightsmile:

Ahhhhhh. My mind's eye. But at leased it was well writen unlike this comment

I added your story to my group just wanted to let you know.

5395901 why... why add this stupid fic to your group XD i mean thank you and all im really happy about this. i forgot this story was a thing but thanks ^^

5395971 Although a little quick your story telling style isn't that bad. Also I'm a fan of any pairing that includes prince blueblood so I added to my group"the good prince".

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