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  • T The Celestia Code

    Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers a centuries-old mystery hidden in the Royal Archives.
    70,358 words · 8,960 views  ·  1,196  ·  18
  • T The Luna Cypher

    Direct sequel to The Celestia Code. When the monsters created by the dark crystal engine escape their prison, it's up to Princess Twilight Sparkle to deal with them. She gets help and advice from Princess Luna, but things don't go as planne
    104,533 words · 4,875 views  ·  829  ·  22

Blog Posts88

  • Thursday
    The End

    My Faithful Readers,

    At long last, the final chapters of The Luna Cypher have been posted! I hope you enjoy them and the story as a whole.

    I really appreciate beyond words all the faves, up-votes, and comments (even the critical ones) that you have graced me with.

    In Friendship,

    -iisaw

    14 comments · 158 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Off the Edge of the Map

    Just a general FYI: I will be completely off the grid until late Sunday. Don't break the place while I'm away!

    5 comments · 71 views
  • 2w, 2d
    I Done Goofed!

    So, while I'm waiting for the pre-reader responses to the next chapter to come in, I've been going back over the story and checking for errors, inconsistencies, and dangling plot threads. Happily there have been very few things I needed to fix, and nothing of any substance.

    Until Chapter Nineteen.

    Uh-Oh. What the heck was I thinking? I knew Rainbow Dash had to be the character to reflect Twilight's situation, with serious loyalty issues between her mentor, her lover, and her nation.

    I had Dash resolve her own questions of loyalty by putting herself in a situation where the choices were made for her, and I did that by making her a Wonderbolt. (Off-screen, no less!) That was really dumb of me. Okay, so she's not the main character, but passing over a major point in her life like that was shoddy treatment, and when I read back over it, it didn't sit well with me at all.

    So I changed the scene. She joined the Royal Guard auxiliary instead, which is a definite step toward the more prestigious Wonderbolts, and served my narrative purposes just as well.

    It doesn't change much else but Dash's personal situation, so no re-reading is required.

    Sorry for the shabby treatment, Dash!

    P.S. New chapters will be coming just as soon as possible. Sorry for the delay!

    0 comments · 131 views
  • 2w, 5d
    Audiobook of The Celestia Code!

    Wow, TCC is sure getting a lot of love lately!

    The awesome VisualPony had done an audiobook of The Celestia Code, and it can be found HERE! It is almost complete, and the last chapters should be up any day now.

    VisualPony has a bit of an accent that surprised me at first, but after a couple of minutes of listening to him, I felt it added a very cool quality to the story. Listening to it all again is really fun.

    4 comments · 75 views
  • 2w, 5d
    PrincessColumbia Reviews The Celestia Code

    I'd like to thank Her Highness for a very nice review!

    Check it out for a very interesting perspective on story-telling!

    0 comments · 73 views
  • ...
 146
 5,823

Twilight devises a way to end a certain threat against Equestria, once and for all. She attempts a powerful, dangerous spell and, unfortunately, everything goes exactly as she plans. Her actions aren't driven by the purest of motives, and her disillusionment leads her down the road to dire consequences. . . a road somepony has walked before her.

WARNING: Spoilers in the comments!

First Published
25th Jun 2012
Last Modified
28th Jun 2012
#1 · 121w, 1d ago · · · Revelations ·

"She attempts a powerful and dangerous spell and unfortunately, everything goes exactly as she plans."

I couldn't help but to think this when I first saw it.

Now that that's out of the way, time to get reading.

#2 · 121w, 1d ago · · · Revelations ·

A nice little story with a morel. Don't see those very often.

#3 · 121w, 1d ago · · · Revelations ·

Everything is going exactly as pla-Oh shit!

#4 · 121w, 23h ago · 2 · · Crossing the Line ·

Shit. Celestia's pissed

#5 · 121w, 23h ago · 2 · · Crossing the Line ·

Shit just got real.

#6 · 121w, 23h ago · 3 · · Defiance ·

Figures, the ONE time Twilight completes a spell properly, and it's for killing en masse.:facehoof:

#7 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

The pacing felt a bit fast, but that may just be me skimming due to lack of sleep.

#8 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

Huh. The wings are permanent? Nice touch.

#9 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

I did feel it was a bit fast past. Not that that's a bad thing just something to keep in mind. However, I do think it was a rather clever idea. It's not usually Luna that has the heart to heart with Twilight. I think you could have played a bit more with how Twilight felt let down by Celestia. Which of course fits into the pacing. However, I enjoyed it and kinda think it's a shame that it hasn't gotten a bit more attention. I'm looking forward to reading more.:pinkiehappy:

#10 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

Glad i read this.

Dont get the Hooves of Clay name part though, but hey im dense i guess lol

#11 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

Honestly, i liked the story, but where does the dark tag fit in?

#12 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

>>808623

Attempted (possibly successful, depending on quite how much power Twilight put into the spell :twilightoops:) Genocide would be my guess...

#13 · 121w, 23h ago · · · Revelations ·

"How do you think she managed to miss an entire changeling army invading Canterlot?" :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#14 · 121w, 22h ago · · · Revelations ·

The last section really felt... forced. I mean, it's all well and good that Celestia forgave Twilight and vice versa, but the pacing of the scene as a whole was rather fast.

#15 · 121w, 22h ago · · · Revelations ·

Oh, I hate to comment twice in a row, but... "Sergeant" is spelled wrong. I didn't notice the first time through because I was enjoying the story. :twilightsmile:

#16 · 121w, 21h ago · · · Revelations ·

>>808506

>>808580

>>808894

Thanks for the feed-back! I was trying for fast-paced but not rushed. It's a hard balance to achieve.

>>808911

*face hoof* Thanks! I'll fix it!

#17 · 121w, 21h ago · · · Revelations ·

I have reached chapter 3, and now give my verdict.

Worth it.

The judgement has been passed, this story will now be thumbed up and tracked.

#18 · 121w, 21h ago · · · Revelations ·

>>808585

Thank you!

"Hooves of Clay" is a play on "Feet of Clay." If you say if you say that someone you admire has feet of clay, you mean they have hidden faults. It's originally a reference from the Bible. . . "a golden idol with feet of clay", I think is the quote.

#19 · 121w, 21h ago · · · Revelations ·

>>809143

That... makes a lot of sense thank you :pinkiehappy:

This is a pretty good story, just kinda bummer that she did kill a load of being, and was just forgiven. At least she learned a lesson if nothing else.

#20 · 121w, 18h ago · · · Revelations ·

Ive finished reading and the part were twilight snapped on Lyra got me good :twilightoops: I was about about ready to believe she had become a homohobic homicidal maniac thank celestia it turned out to be a changeling

#21 · 121w, 18h ago · 2 · 1 · Revelations ·

I find the whole fic very disturbing. Twilight murders and mutilates a changeling in the middle of a street and gets thumbs up from her friends. Then she commits a genocide on another sentient species and gets a scolding. That's insane! On Earth this sort of behaviour would result in her being charged with unjustified manslaughter and war crime and sentenced to many decades up to life in prison. But Celestia waves her hood and all is forgiven.

Or is this because it weren't ponies who died? There are a number of other sentient beings and species in Equestria. Is it okay to murder them without trial for any transgression or misbehavior? Is it okay to kill Spike if some other dragon eats a pony?

You might say I'm nitpicking, and it's just a fanfic, and there are many other dark stories here. But there is a difference. People don't empathize with Fluttershy from Cupcakes. But I'm sure there are many who would nod in agreement to your Twilight's action, without properly considering what it signifies. And than they will go on with a strengthened belief that it's okay to hurt those not like us. Which is frankly what racism and other discriminations are based on.

PS: Taking aside my complete disagreement and disgust with the underlying idea, the fic itself is well written. I particularly enjoyed Luna's scene. Also the vampire scare and Shining's troubles were quite hilarious.

#22 · 121w, 12h ago · · · Revelations ·

>>810096

Thanks for the feedback!  All I should say on the matter is that I have a different take on the situation. Sorry it didn't work for you.

#23 · 121w, 9h ago · 2 · · Crossing the Line ·

Uh....oh....

Yeah.... that's a problem.

#24 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

That is true, Twilight, but don't forget you're own convictions merely to be in harmony with others.           your

#25 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

>>822799

Thank you! Aye ar uh gud spellur!

#26 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Wait... Wasn't this chapter already up before?...

I swear I've read this before.. I read so many fics at the same time that it could be my mind playing tricks on me...

I'm confused.

#27 · 120w, 5d ago · 1 · 1 · Confrontation ·

Is that it? This didn't affect any of them in any meaningful way. Half of the charcters could have been removed and it would make no difference at all.

#28 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

>>822917

Heavily revised the final scene.

CDR
#29 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

1. Maul a disguised changeling

2. Kill all changelings within a certain mile radius using first changeling's blood

3. Yell at princess

4. Get taught history lesson by other princess

5. Cry eyes out

6. ???

7. Profit

#30 · 120w, 5d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Much better i would say.

Plus adds the political aspect that it would have, yay :pinkiehappy:

#31 · 120w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Very nice.

#32 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

I don't know why, but I seem to have a strong interest in fanfictions detailing Twilight Sparkle's inner darkness. I especially love how you used Princess Luna to warn Twilight about the consequences of her rash actions and aggression.

#33 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Well well... everything seems relatively wrapped up, but there's still an "incomplete" tag. So, more horseshoes yet to drop? :twilightoops:

#34 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Ah, much better! I remember the original version and I have to say that this feels a lot smoother. Thank you for splitting it out into its own chapter, too... I wouldn't have caught it otherwise.

And hey, you got featured on EqD! That means you're doing something right! Congrats!

#35 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Crossing the Line ·

Poor Twi. Angry Celestia is not a good sign.

Thumbs up!

#36 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

I have to agree with >>810096 . Twilight committed a horrible crime, and her punishment absolutely needs to be more severe.

To be honest, I'm having trouble figuring out what the moral is supposed to be. "Don't make rash decisions without talking them over?" "Realize you can be wrong sometimes?" It's kind of weak.

Luna is kind of a hypocrite, isn't she? Her lesson is rather undermined by the way she takes Twilight with her and dumps the poor guard in a fountain. Celestia is way too focussed on her own feelings; I was hoping she'd be more worried about the effects of Twi's actions on Equestria or on the changeling swarm. Basically, I didn't like the characters or the plot. Really, they all, to varying degrees, strike me as jerks in this story.

One part that I did like but which the author didn't expand on, was Twi's feeling of betrayal from the events of "A Canterlot Wedding". I can understand her feeling that she couldn't trust anypony but herself on that basis.

#37 · 120w, 2d ago · 1 · · Confrontation ·

It's a decent enough fic, started off great with the grimdarkery and had the possibility to really go somewhere but it descended into your typical weepy forgiveness that you see in pony fanfiction.

#38 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Congratulations on being featured on EQD, it was a great story :twilightsmile:

#39 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

>>836058

I agree. The plot seemed to be heading toward a war fic with Twilight defying the Princess and leading a charge, either on her own or with her friends, straight into changeling territory, all the while the darkness in her heart works its way out.

#40 · 120w, 2d ago · 1 · · Crossing the Line ·

I got pulled in by the synopsis/picture on EqD, but was slightly disappointed.

Your prose is full of clutter: words that you don't need, and descriptions that add nothing. It makes the writing fall flat on its face. If you want a term for it, what you lack is word economy. You don't make your words count, so they hold little weight, and in turn, hold little of my interest.

The second big thing is that you don't, quoting vonnegut's rules of writing, "Start as close to the end as possible." Your story starts with an event and the reader has no way of knowing its significance, and there's no clear plot being displayed.

Anyway, I'm just trying to offer some constructive criticism.

#41 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

Uh... :rainbowderp:

...

*Added to favorites*

#42 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

As others have said, it looked as though it could have gone way darker, but headed itself off with weepy forgiveness.  Still pretty good.  Still enjoyable, but I was excited to see if there would be some actual rebellion.  I love me some grimdark, usurping Twilight.

#43 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

One thing has been bugging me, are the wings really permanent?

If so, then they could be used as (/declared to be) a symbolic punishment. Kinda like a mark she has to bear for her crime.

Just a thought of mine, in case you want to do a followup.

#44 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

>>836655

They're permanent until Luna takes them away or they're otherwise dispelled. That's a good idea about them being punishment. Scarlett letter / Mark of Cain sort of thing.

>>836058

>>836317

>>836592

I love bad-ass Twilight, too. But a real rebellion story would have to be much, much longer, and I was very strongly advised by a friend whose judgement I trust, to start with a short story. "Don't waste your time starting an epic until you find out if people like your writing," he said. Looks like it was good advice!

#45 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

I got a feeling that Twilight is just a step below being an alicorn in terms of power, and because evil gets all the really cool stuff as well as an increase in power, Twilight could probably turn herself into some sort of pony demon (probably with large bat like wings)  and be able to match Celestia or Luna in terms of raw power if she becomes her own equivalent of Nightmare Moon.  

#46 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

The one bit of the season 2 finale that I enjoyed was Twilight realizing for the first time that Celestia could be wrong and that she could be beaten.  I always thought that Celestia being knocked off of her pedestal of perfection in front of Twilight had great potential for a story.  I'll read about Twilight questioning Celestia any day of the week, and I like seeing a fic that goes into that.  

But there's one glaring problem that detracts heavily from the story and really isn't even necessary to begin with.

Twilight Sparkle was planning to commit genocide and no one cares.

When you introduce an element like mass murder and planned genocide, the story can't be about anything else.  As soon as Celestia makes that reveal with the map, all I can think of as a reader is “Oh wow, Twilight was going to murder thousands if not millions to solve a problem.  That's kind of a big deal.”  The rest of the scene showing Twilight openly defying and questioning Celestia's judgment and ability to protect her kingdom completely takes a backseat.

The problem is that the only importance Twilight's actions should have is to make it clear that Celestia and Twilight have a problem.  This is how the characters in the story act and react, which makes sense as the story is about Celestia and Twilight having a problem.  But when you've got this huge massive bomb of “mass murder and planned genocide” and then point off to the side and ask the reader to focus on personal issues between the characters it's jarring to say the least.  

The characters don't seem to really care about Twilight's actions, and rightly so since this isn't a story about them.  But when those actions are so important and meaningful and quite frankly evil, when characters gloss over them they come off as inhuman.  Twilight and Celestia laughing over tea when she'd committed mass murder just a few hours ago feels like some kind of anti-catharsis.  Even though what is intended to be the main conflict has been resolved, any regrets Twilight has seem to revolve around her relationship with Celestia.  Not once is it ever flatly stated that Twilight regrets murdering the changelings because murder itself is wrong.  The line about changelings being drones addresses this somewhat.  But even if one sees no issue with killing drones and there is no moral conflict, that information comes so late that it feels like more of an afterthought than a justification.

I would strongly recommend taking changelings invading Ponyville and Twilight's plans to attack changeling lands out of the story entirely.  Twilight should still be trying to protect ponies, definitely, but her actions shouldn't be something so important that they completely distract from the rest of the story.

--Windfox

#47 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Crossing the Line ·

pissedlestia is badlestia

#48 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

I really wish they'd make episodes like this.

#49 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

At first, I thought this story was about Twilight becoming a nightmare, with the cover image and all.  :pinkiegasp:  What if she did?  

#50 · 120w, 2d ago · · · Confrontation ·

>>837056

I have to assume you missed what Twilight said right after she read the letter from Queen Chrysalis. "Genocide" is not a term that can be applied to mindless insects. Nobody is accused of genocide for spraying a wasp nest. (Except perhaps by PETA members.)

Even if the changelings were sentient, I don't think that a society of prey animals would get terribly upset over the destruction of a swarm of parasites that intended to suck their entire nation dry. I doubt gazelles have much sympathy for lions.

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