Hi, I'm Paradox :). Just another random pegasus that hates stereotypes and likes confusing people.
Discord had lived in Galactium Castle for as long as he can remember. Princess Celestia had rescued him when he was only a young draconequus and was brought up like her brother. But when he encounters a creature connected to his past, his world would change forever.
***
This is my first story so please don't judge. 
I hope you enjoy it. 
Constructive critisism is welcome. Please review so that I can improve. Thanks. 
SPOILER ALERT:
Main ship: Discord x Chrysalis
Page generated in 0.093 seconds
Total duration
878 users online
612,074 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice start, very good for a first story. I like this ship and I really felt pity for Discord.
Some corrections below.
'though it more' - it was more
hep - heap
'life-less piece of wood but failing; only getting it stuck more' - lifeless piece of wood, but failed, only getting it stuck more
'It came away' - came free
'and the his own blood' - remove the
'The draconequus felt a heavy feeling fill his body and felt unsteady.' - felt his body grow heavier and found himself unstable.
'and fell like' - and falling like
'it went dark' - everything went dark
'Princess Chrysalis II' - Princess Chrysalis the 2nd
'allowed to be a part of the party.' - part of it
'Therefore, in attempt to find' - in an attempt
'to figure out as to where it came from' - figure out where it came from
'Chrysalis rolled her eyes thinking that it could be faking and began to examine the creature. Chrysalis had never seen anything like it.' - Chrysalis rolled her eyes, thinking that it could be faking, and began to examine the creature. She had never seen anything like it.
'tuft on the end' - at the end
'it's eyes' - its
'Chrysalis sighed again and approached it again' - sighed and approached it again
'made from an strange' - made from a strange
'they grey sky to continue' - the grey
'thinking that that was' - remove one that
'would ever see of the poor creature' - remove of
He's against chocolate milk?! Down with king Orion the tyrant!
Uh-huh, Queenie, I wouldn't be so certain of that.
'for a second and clicked his fingers' - and snapped his fingers again
'Discord snapped fingers again before him appeared a beautiful cup of chocolate milk' - snapped his fingers again and a beautiful cup of chocolate milk appeared before him
'Discord sighed again, snapped his fingers' - again and snapped
'for 10 since' - 10 years since
'as a fuel for' - as fuel for
'As she zaps away the last soldier' - zapped
'Once she does so' - did
'As future queen' - As a future queen
'and as you are good at the battlegrounds' - and as good as you are on the battleground
'you have much to learn about orienteering' - orientation
'and to make notes' - and make notes
'She sighed at started' - sighed and started