The concept sure is . . . different, from anything I've read.

Just needs some more work on grammar and structure, especially with some dialogue. You have lines from different characters in the same paragraph, and it feels a bit sloppy.

I'll still try to read and make sense of it.

hmm good story but there are some grammar issues and some of the dialog was confusing maybe you should ask someone to proofread this story for you overall not a bad story

Interesting Idea (plus I'm I fan of Pokemon and MLP) But the chapter could be a bit longer, as well as the story needs to slow down. It is escalating a bit to quickly in my opinion

I'm sorry for not continuing my story I had other problems and had to finish some projects back at school,

I am now continuing my story in a new way! I will start today hope it will be better.....

And I forgot my password !!!