no likes, no dislikes, and no comments? Let me venture into the unknown creation of one of my favorite authors to explore this potential masterpiece! Will edit my comment after reading.

i liek 2 kinds of fics, ones thats actually feel like episodes  of mlp, and 200,000 word game of thrones fanfics, go figure +fav

This would make for a good episode, and you know they could use it to justify why Scootaloo can actually use her wings to some extent but Sweetie Belle can't use her horn.

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Season Z, Episode J: Scare Tactics

Grammar score: 9/10  "A feint glow surrounded her sparkling horn and another feint glow surrounded one of the capes."  It should be "faint."  "Feint" is a distracting maneuver in martial arts.  I think that might be the only notable grammar misstep.  Your writing is solid.  Oh, and this is not really grammar so much as word choice, but when Diamond Tiara admits she saw the ghost, she "shook her head dejectedly."  It looks like she's shaking her head "no" here.  You might say that she "nodded dejectedly" instead?  (It's really just a little thing, but you know, mental picture and all...)

Pros:  Reading this story was like watching an episode of the show!  (And in a week with no new episodes, that is a welcome thing.)  The dialogue is well written, and the characters all feel like the characters we know and love.  The situations in the story are charming and sweet, just like in the show itself.

Cons:  (I know an Authors Helping Authors review is supposed to have three, but I don't think I'll be able to make it with this one.)  You might add more description to the settings.  (A temptation in fanfiction is to describe less because the reader already knows what the characters/settings look like.)  And you could add more about the characters' thoughts.  (Or at least Scootaloo's, since she's your POV character.)  None of these take away too much from the story, which is wonderful, but they are things you might do to add to it.

Notes Section:  I really liked this story.  You have such a good grasp of the characters that they feel as if they've stepped right off the screen of the show and into your story.  Also, you capture the tone and morality of the show very well.

Enjoy your review!  Please help me out by looking at my story, A Spell for Lyra.  (Thank you.)

>>19201341920134

Thank you for such an encouraging review!

I'll be sure to check out your story when I get some free time.