Equestria is a magical place. Almost everything that happens in Equestria happens because of magic. The changing of the leaves in autumn is no exception. It's a beautiful, quiet thing, the sort of experience that makes some ponies really stop and think for a while.
Vinyl Scratch is one of those ponies.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have seen many stories where Vinyl meets Octavia, and I have to say yours is one of the best. The level of detail is incredible and fluid, great work!
Yay! another KingMoriarty story! It's like the perfect way to start my day.
I loved how fluid the details were - it helped everything flow so naturally!
Huh. Definitely an interesting flashback, and I love the broken glasses as a tool of introspection despite the bacchanalia that Vinyl associates with them. Not really sure what to make of this one, though. I guess the impact doesn't quite land. Maybe if we saw more of Vinyl's life without the mare that got away. Still, thanks for the story.
7830658 If it helps, it really isn't meant for impact.
Why must you make me feel? I'm not complaining, but still.
Neat. The narrative style was superb as usual, and as the people above me have said, it flows very well.
The first thing that stands out to me about this story, are your beautiful descriptions. From the garish colors that render her invisible to the frantic clawing between the two mares, you paint an amazing picture. What could have been leaves us wondering what's going on with the other mare. Additionally, I love how Vinyl takes a moment to unwind and it's a side of her we rarely see. A brilliant and well written piece and one of my favorite Vinyl Scratch pieces.
I like the way you describe the scenes. Very pretty. Though I'm not sure how I feel.
So this is a world where her and Octavia never got together and instead just had a one night stand? Or was the grey mare not meant to be Octavia.
Have an upvote anyways.
8118519 Well, the grey mare is deliberately left vague in case the reader wants to ship Vinyl and Marble Pie.
But as for author's intent, it was mostly written to be a slice from their past. I debated having a final bit at the end where it's revealed they eventually hooked up, but I felt it worked better as is.
8118528 I haven't really come across that particular ship yet. To be honest, the only time I've seen a Vinyl ship fic without Octavia being the love interest while at the same the having a good story was See White.
Personally, I like the idea if changing things up with them like that. There are a lot of alternative universes for fics to live. Not all of them can turn out the exact same way.
So I really do understand.
Also, props, I don't think I would have been able to resist at least adding a scene where she bumps into the grey mare... Or! The thought just crossed my mind. What if Vinyl likes to daydream about what a life might have been like with the grey mare and those day dreams are every Vinyl and Octavia fic ever? It's probably a little crazy. But that might have been interesting. Maybe.
8118528
Ooh, vinyl and marble would be an interesting ship.
I really like this image. I was at a metal concert a ways back to see my namesake band, and as usual it opened with a few local acts. Of course, the audience was a bit dead for the most part because local support doesn't always get the reactions that bigger bands do. But, during a particularly well set-up beatdown, the vocalist leapt off the stage and started a moshpit himself that I happily joined in. So much fun.
An ever important distinction.
I really liked this piece. So simple yet so thoughtful. Not necessarily something of grandiose nature or that will leave a huge impact, but that didn't seem to be the point. I like that you took something simple and wove a heartfelt backstory to it. Very few people take that level of creative liberty with things like this.
Now, as far as negativity goes, I feel like so much emotion and nonsense goes on at concerts that it'd be hard to remember a small encounter like this. Granted, the glasses do provide a nice rememberance to it, but something just felt a bit off about her infatuation of the situation.
However, the details were fantastic. Like, simple lines about the yellowing grass. Also, I got a good chuckle out of the part about her sweater being a fashion nightmare. I loved that bit.
Great work, Mori.
Oooh, this is a good one. Short and sweet. The fic doesn't overscope itself. It's 1,139 words, and it knows it, refusing to try anything grandiose or over the top. Vinyl feels well defined as a character, and the fic itself feels like it has a good throughline. Opens up with Vinyl feeling contemplative in the woods, the middle of the story is a contemplative flashback, and the ending has her literally contemplate her past and what her future could have been. Such consistency of voice is indicative of a focused writer. Great job! I quite enjoyed this one.
8697780
Thank you for the impeccably structured comment!
8697833
Ahhhh thank you! I tried to give you a helpful critique. Good luck writing in the future!