Perfectly Clear
I stared at Twilight Sparkle from behind the pair of dark sunglasses perched on my muzzle. My face was shaded by a large white sun hat that begged to be pulled down even more. The younger mare sat across from me and was sipping a strawberry lemonade with a cheery smile on her face. A few shiny maneclips in various colors aided in sweeping her mane to the side as she scanned the menu with her eyes. We were both at a street-side table in one of the many cafés near Canterlot's vast markets. She had told me that this was one of her favorite places and that they had the best sandwiches on this side of Equestria.
I didn't doubt that. I didn't say anything, I simply watched as sunlight shone through Twilight's drink, making the ice cubes sparkle. I tried to focus on the music in the background, a happy, bouncy song and while it wasn't my cup of tea it was pleasant enough to be catchy. This was the exact kind of popular music my sister adored — inoffensive, meaningless, painted smile tunes meant for all.
It was easy to pay attention to everything but Twilight Sparkle when she wasn't talking. She had been browsing the menu for at least five minutes even though I'm sure she already picked out what she wanted. Hadn't she? I couldn't recall, not when I was in this state, with my heart at a gallop in my ears.
I leaned back in the chair a bit, hoping to catch a glimpse of something distracting. Anything that would draw the prying eyes of ponies somewhere else. The street wasn't very busy this afternoon. Yet, it still felt like somepony was watching me, just waiting for me to make another mistake. I know it's just an effect of my mind; everything is apparently mere mind tricks with the ordeal in Ponyville still being so raw. I know that this is just a side effect of staying in the castle for a week after the Tantabus was revealed to my sister, and the conversation I had to have with her. I told her, and I think it helped. I don't feel like I'm at the breaking point anymore. Staying inside helped. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong, at least not today. Everything is sunny and there's even a cool breeze which feels so nice and-
"Luna?"
Nothing will go wrong today. It's just my mind. Nopony's watching me. Tia tells me that it's always my mind. She tells me over and over again that I'm too negative; that if I only think about and say positive things everything will get better. I still hear her chants to look for the good cantering through the back of my thoughts, like a drumbeat to accompany my heart and nerves.
"Luna, are you spacing out on me again?"
I. Am. Safe.
Celestia tells me I'm always safe, even if I don't feel safe around myself or others sometimes. 'Everything will be okay' is what she basically spoonfeeds me a dozen times a day. I feel no hope in those words, only the sourness that they don't work and that I rarely ask for them. But Tia, Twilight, and everypony like them see fit to give them to me anyway.
"I'm sorry, that joke was terrible." Her words are a needle to the cloud of my anxious distractions, if only for a moment.
I know I don't want to be here, but I already am. Wait... Twilight's talking. "Yes, Twilight?"
"I was going to ask you what you wanted."
"Uh... maybe a salad?"
Is there no way that I can explain to her the truth without hurting her feelings? Tia was abhorred when I tried to back out of this, and when I even suggested that the truth would be okay to tell Twilight — either now or afterward. Kindness matters more to my sister, to Equestria, and always has.
I do not feel this situation has been very kind to me, but the odd mare out is not the one that ever gets what she wishes. Not when she is out-voted, out-smiled, and out-spoken by the herd around her.
"This place only serves sandwiches."
"Yes, one of those."
Twilight smiles a bit more, and I have to wonder if she has been to the dentist recently. There is an eerie, uncanny luster to her teeth. "So do you want me to pick one?"
"Yes."
Somepony suggesting to pick out my food for me, a grown mare, is one of the biggest insults. It need not be limited by time, this ought to be a curse in all cultures. Twilight Sparkle should look at me and know that I do not subsist on little snippets of rabbit food like side-salads. I have been trying to tell her everything with nothing, and she is blind to my blight.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Definitely, as you may see, I'm not sick."
'Tis no lie, and yet she reads nothing into the awkwardness of my words. Will anything short of flipping the table rid me of this horrible day? I don't want to draw attention to myself. I don't want to be here at all, where I must feel that if I do not beg to be treated well I shall not be respected. Yet, why do others see fit to back me into these places where I cannot be heard?
"Are you sure? It doesn't seem like it."
Stars above, I wonder why.
"This is the most you've said since you arrived and that doesn't make it seem like you're okay."
Please don't ever make me do this again.
"Twilight Sparkle, I am not feeling ill."
"You know, you can just call me 'Twi' since we're both princesses now."
"Yes."
"Is it too warm? I mean, I do admit that it is pretty warm but—"
I look over to the menu she's holding. Since she's paying attention to the veil of this — this maelstrom of anxiety; this emotion — that obscures me from everything else, the menu has almost slipped from her hooves. I can see all the brightly colored options and try to ignore the growling in my stomach from forgetting breakfast. Knowing what awaited me this afternoon was enough to tie my stomach in enough knots that they probably spelled out Twilight Sparkle's name, as unfortunate as that image is.
With my sunglasses on, Twilight can't see that I'm nearly looking through the laminated surface of the menu. My ears prick and catch the waiter's presence before Twilight does. Ignoring any kind of input is mind-wracking and impossible right now. She turns and tells him what she'll be having before looking back at the surface of my emotional veil again, where I squirm below.
"Do you know what you'll be having?"
My hoof finds the glossy image of one of the sandwich options, and I'm able to make it look natural instead of forced. It lands on a random option. "That one, please."
Twilight puts in my order and turns away again while I relish at this moment, finally having some room to breathe. She faces me not, and that fills me with a sense of freedom. Once the waiter leaves I find Twilight looking at me with a rather unnerving expression.
"Agoraphobia!" she declares far too loudly.
Would Tia chew me out about being 'too rude' if I tell her Faithful Student to please not shout random illnesses at me? How much of a lecture could such an action result in? Why must Tia treat the feelings of her Faithful Student as though they are more fragile than glass, and to call Twilight Sparkle less than perfect will make anypony Tartarus-bound?
Behind my glasses, I blink. "What about agoraphobia? Is that not the fear of... markets?"
"Public places!" Twilight corrects me with uncomfortable, oblivious cheer. "You have agoraphobia don't you?"
"No..." Can I simply just not want to be here? I am worried that she might touch me on this date, and the toxic spike of nervousness that thought brings makes me feel teary.
"Oh, so it's just one of those days, huh?"
"Maybe."
Please, just talk to anypony else. Tia totes you around as the 'Princess of Friendship' even though there is no sense to the title. Why can't you just use that as a hint some other random stranger wishes to hear from you?
I watch as Twilight take a large slurp of her drink before setting it down with an almost too-loud thunk. "I know what will cheer you up!"
"Mhm?"
"A story! Mare-talk is what my books say is perfect for times when I'm dating mares. You won't believe what happened last week, it was so crazy! I didn't even have time to write a letter about it, although maybe I should get to that... You see, I'm filling in Princess Celestia on all the details of my romantic life is proper, but..."
Twilight goes on and on rambling about two or three mildly curious events until our food is brought out. While I eat my grilled cheese sandwich, I thank myself for picking something unsuspicious and enjoy the taste. I'll give Twilight credit for picking a place with nice food, even if she's still going on about something that isn't exactly 'crazy' at all. Instead, she merely retells what is just a very bizarre account of a little squabble with her and Miss Rarity who, as I take it, is her on-again-off-again marefriend. I hear that is what they are called, at least when I asked Cadance to explain their relationship to me. Since she's absolutely lost in this tale of hers, Twilight doesn't notice when I sit — still facing her, of course — and cease listening as my thoughts drift to this morning.
...
Celestia's hoofsteps are heard by me before she even arrives on the balcony where I stood looking out over Canterlot. It wasn't the gorgeous city I was looking at. Instead, my eyes were on Canterhorn Mountain. The weather looked like it would be nice today, perhaps a bit too sunny — but I think I heard that it might rain later, which would be nice. I love it when it rains on the mountain, so perhaps I could go hiking later in a perfect drizzle. There was nopony on the mountain, after all.
"Luna, is that you out here?"
When I turn around, I see that my sister in the doorway to the balcony. Her mane is a mess, and she clearly has only just woken up. Tia was never one for waking up early, and her crown is missing. This is a mare who usually needs gallons of coffee in order to have her first conversation of the day.
"Is it time for me to raise the sun yet?" she asks with a yawn. I have to hold back from giggling; Tia appearing outside of her chambers without her mane being brushed is practically the scandal of the century.
"No, it's only two in the morning."
Celestia's too tired to be shocked at the times I choose to get up and doesn't even bother to rub the sleep from her eyes.
"What day is it?"
"I believe it is Wednesday, dear sister. Why would it be any other day?"
"No, Luna, I meant that I wanted to know the date."
I tell her and watch all the exhaustion in her face fade in an instant.
"Really? No... I thought we had at least a few days to prepare for this..."
"Prepare for what? I do not remember there being any important meetings—"
"No, not that. Luna, did you hear anything about Twilight Sparkle recently?"
"Err... should I have?" Celestia would have told me about something this important, wouldn't she? It doesn't seem like it was anything bad, was it...?
"She broke up with Rarity again and she's not taking it that well..."
I nod since there isn't much I can add to this. Maybe Tia will just ask me to sign a card to Twilight Sparkle and pretend we both sent it instead of just her. This wouldn't be the first time either of those things has happened.
"What do you think of Twilight, Luna?"
"Didn't you ask me that a few days ago...?"
"And what did you say?"
"I told you that I thought she seemed like a nice pony and a good student, before she became—"
Celestia smiled. She always had an especially positive smile whenever Twilight was mentioned. "Exactly! Would you want to see her?"
"Oh! She's coming for a visit? That sounds nice."
"Sort of. She wanted to see you."
Me?! What interest would Twilight Sparkle have in me? "So you want me to talk to her then? I'm not sure I have much advice I could give. 'Tis not like I have ever had a breakup or romance before."
"Think of it more like a date."
No... she wouldn't have. Tia wouldn't do this; she couldn't! I conceal my reaction easily, but the fire of my emotions is a ball threatening to escape my throat and explode. Maybe I could explain things to Twilight, that this can't be the kind of date they mean. Tt's just Tia trying to do her a favor all I have to do is—
Celestia places a hoof on my wither, and her tone is warm. "It isn't healthy for you to be alone so much and Twilight is, like you said, a very nice pony. I'm sure you'll find a way to help each other."
"But—!" My hiking plans! It's not like that! I like being alone! I don't even find Twilight Sparkle attractive! She has too much submissiveness about her character to be lovable. Never have I so much as wanted another mare to touch me, to want me, and the very thought of it is filling my heart with an ill, dizzy sensation. Me, with a mare? Twilight Sparkle being illiterate makes more sense than that!
"Luna, I'm worried more than ever about your health, and spending time with somepony will be good for you."
It won't.
"She's going to be at a sandwich shop... you know the one near Canterbury Road? She'll be there at one of the tables outside. Just be there by ten even if it's to offer a 'hello' and dine with her."
A 'hello and dine with her'? Goodness, is that not a whole date by another name, Tia? You're guilt-tripping me into this! I don't want to make Twilight feel bad, but I never wanted to go on a date with her. I have never, ever once thought of her that way!
"It's all perfectly arranged, you have nothing to worry about," Tia says with a kind smile that makes my stomach drop.
...
Twilight is waiting for me to respond. I barely heard a thing she said. I swear to the stars, somepony is definitely watching me...
Is it too much to ask that for one day, I do not feel the dirtiness of somepony's gaze upon my skin? I already feel unclean enough after everything I've done to myself. What more can these mortals possibly want from me now?
I need to answer. Something honest, of course. It always has to be something honest. I can't just tell her I was pressured into going on my first date, or else all the fragility that Tia has both claimed she has and instilled in her will shatter. When I arrived at ten, I could see she had been crying. While she had only a modest pile of tissues to prove this, it does not change that she was still in distress. I am not a cruel mare who wishes to worsen her sadness, even if I want something different than she does. Twilight Sparkle has been enjoying my company, but it isn't a mutual feeling. I've felt uncomfortable ever since my arrival at this little eatery. I don't feel lonely like Celestia thinks, or at least not when I'm actually alone. I'm only lonely when around ponies like this...
Twilight's looking confused. Has she finally read my emotions clearly? Surely, she knows I can not smother them as my sister can. Now she looks suspicious. No... she looks hurt.
I need to tell her something honest, and quickly. But I can't hurt her feelings, she's already sad.
I think somepony is watching me...
I don't want to do this anymore. I let go, I lose focus. For a moment, I'm scared before that too disappears. I hear the sound of a table-flipping as i try to move and me shouting something a little too loudly before leaving as quickly as possible. At least I didn't lose my sun hat as I turned a few streets; it helped hide the look on my face. Although, I, unfortunately, did bump into another pony. All I saw through the glasses' tint were a few basic features: a unicorn stallion with a white coat, green eyes, and three aces for a cutie mark. His eyes almost looked terrified when I accidentally collided with him, but I didn't stay around to see before I added a quick apology and decided to teleport instead.
...
My chambers were always safe and homey to me. This was largely due to the fact that I cared for them and cleaned them myself, and that nopony ever ventured into them. Only Celestia had my permission to drop by, but I needn't exactly give it to her. We shared the same home. Eventually, there is a knock on my door, and I know exactly who it is. I don't want to answer it. I don't want to hear how much about how much I owed Twilight Sparkle, not when Cadance has always told me that nopony owes another love or dates. Sister has always seemed to think otherwise. I will be staying buried under all these pillows and blankets for quite a while longer. At least I'm safe here; there's room to breathe when I'm alone. I simply prefer it this way, and every time I try to tell sompony else this, I am scorned with 'poor dear'-type talk and lectures about herd animal nature at the worse end.
"Are you okay?"
I do not think so.
"Twilight told me what happened, and—"
My sister's voice is silenced by the sound of a pillow being flung at the door.
"Why did you run away?" she asks me, her voice dripping with so much patronizing concern.
Oh, there's only a million ways that tone of hers can go. Please go away, I just want to calm down.
"Luna, you need to talk to me—"
"No."
"No? Do I need to mention just how panicked Twilight was because of what you did today? She wants to talk to you."
"We do not wish to talk to anypony. Please, just let Us be."
"This is exactly what I mean. I know that you spend so much time alone, but you can't lock yourself away like this. Nothing will lead to loneliness faster than this."
"We are not lonely." Does reverting to the old ways of speech tell her nothing?
"I think you need to be honest with yourself—"
"We are being honest! How are We to explain that We are not lonely to somepony who craves company?"
There was a brief pause outside the door. "Company is good, Luna. You need it. Everypony does."
"We do not."
"We'll talk later."
"We will not."
"Okay, Luna," Celestia added sadly. "If that's what makes you feel better, you can keep telling yourself that."
There was a sigh before her hoofsteps could be heard going back the way they came.
I sank back into peace, and wondering just how one would explain something like that to Celestia. She always spoke of charity, company, and friendship above all. How could I get her to understand that? There was nopony I was interested in befriending or anypony I wanted to consort with unless it was required of me. I liked spending my time away from duties alone, I picked the less social tasks that had to be completed if I could. If I wanted a friend, I would go make one.
It was my nature to be pleased with solitude.
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Always like me some TwiLuna action.
That was certainly enjoyable, if a bit sad.
I can understand this. Being forced to interact with a lot of people can freak me out too.
luna sound like me in this story,
If this is a TwiLina fimfic... Why the hell has the TwiLestia tag too? .-.
7431543 Celestia appears in this story as well, there isn't any Twilestia.
7432450 That's what i supposed, man. and why someone put it as twilestia? that's my question
7432996 I don't recall putting in in any Twilestia group. Who did?
7429882
This is kinda the inverse of that, though...
7433782 Indeed.
ooo, Celestia seems to be playing matchmaker.
Oh, hello Sombra! Fancy seeing you here.
.....Part of me sympathizes with Luna because I'm like that in some ways, but I also have a hard time believing it from her due to her backstory. I really can't recognize the mare that became Nightmare Moon, in any version, as a pony content with solitude.
8048565 Oh? What exactly is so strange about her desire to be alone?
8048599
Its not the desire to be alone, its who its coming from. Regardless if Luna was Nightmare plain and simple or if Nightmare was a possession thing, Luna became Nightmare over a lack of ponies appreciating her and the night, along with seeming to love her sister and the day. A pony that doesn't mind being alone wouldn't have been as bothered by that, nevermind one that ENJOYS being alone.
8048633 The story of NMM and who and what she is in relation to Luna isn't that simple in the AU these stories occur in, but Solitary/Loner Luna isn't an uncommon trait/interpretation given to her.
8048653
A. Granted, I haven't read really anything of this AU. B. While true, its usually treated as a sad issue to deal with and overcome, not a misunderstood personality trait.
8048663 That's understandable, but all that was known of Luna/NMM in terms of history came from a story book - not something that is likely to be taken to literally in terms of what might have actually happened, yes? And indeed isolated/reclusive/solitary Luna is usually treated as if it is something that should be changed instead of just her nature. Usually.
8876456
Not particularly! It's just about someone who was pressured into going on a date with someone they didn't have any connection with beyond being aquatinted vaguely, and why they hated it.
A little character piece of mine.
Though, there's also the fact that it's never said if Luna and Twilight are even orientation compatible, and how this is something that you shouldn't do to anyone ever.
There needs to be another chapter here. All I read was Twilight having a bad time, Luna heing sent out to cheer her up and hopefully make a friend, Luna being rude as all hell by not paying attention when someone else is speaking, Luna throwing a tantrum and running off, then secluding herself away from everyone else and claiming that not only does she want to be left alone, but that she enjoys her solitude and will get around to making friends when and if she chooses to. All the while an emotionally fragile Twilight is freaking out that she did something to hurt or upset the princes.
Wow, grow up Luna, the world doesn't revolve around you. Sometimes you have to do things you'd rather not but it's called being considerate of othes. Now go out there and reasure Twilight that she did nothing wrong and that you're just not very social as others.
8932344
I don't think you have misread the story any more than you have.
There doesn't need to be another chapter, but there's a similar and somewhat related story here, if that looks like it's to your liking.
Luna was the one that had the real bad time in all of this, and I'm not sure how you missed that in a story that's narrated by her. Both the context in the story and the author's note set this shortly after 'Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?' where Luna clearly does magical self-harm, and she's barely post that. She's emotionally fragile and much of her is still mentally unwell. Twilight and Celestia did anything but help this, even if it wasn't intentionally.
Luna certainly and clearly did not go there to make a friend and cheer Twilight, who she has little experience with beyond flinging out the most banal and generic description of her being 'nice' out there, but solidly expressing little interest in her, friend-wise. Twilight is literally seeking a rebound girl, and I'm not sure how you missed Celestia even admitting she worked behind Luna's back with Twilight to arrange them to go on a date. Yes, a romantic date. Luna's internal dialogue nearly screams that she doesn't want this at all, and that she has zero romantic interest in Twilight Sparkle, but is essentially guilt tripped into going on a date she has no desire to. There's also the matter of Luna showing zero signs of any remote attraction or anything to Twilight, and her utter absence of any romantic thoughts is pretty clear that she is a) 100% not interested and b) possibly even orientation incompatible and is too afraid to speak up, yet because of how abruptly she was shoehorned into this, her discomfort at being pressured to go on a hastily organized rebound date with somepony she doesn't have any interest in and is orientation incompatible with makes for an experience of horrifying discomfort. The 'romance' in this story is on Twilight's part only, because she clearly has some kind of a crush on Luna, even if it isn't a very deep one.
Throughout the entire thing, Luna clearly tries, but struggles to pay attention to what Twilight is saying, even if she admits she doesn't care to herself, because she's at least trying to be platonically nice to somepony she knows. Both internally and externally, she's showing very obvious signs of panic, paranoia, and discomfort that either go over Twilight's head when they're right in front of her or she turns Luna's discomfort into a literal guessing game if she has phobias instead of asking if she needs to go somewhere where she feels safe, or if she feels safe at all. Instead, Twilight sits by at plops her feelings about a breakup onto Luna and yammers on until Luna's stress and discomfort eventually lead to her having a panic attack that you've brushed off as a 'tantrum'. At the end of the story, Luna finally tries to do what does make her happy. Twilight isn't the emotionally fragile one here, but the emotionally oblivious one. She may have been going through a breakup, but it's also one in what is almost a routine for her: it's on again and off again, and she's already arranging dates shortly after the fact. There's a very cold angle to all those things. While what Twilight is going through is natural, and could be supported with friends and family, Luna is experiencing something much more traumatic that can't just disappear so. Twilight tells Celestia what happened, as someone responsible should, but she also isn't 'freaking out' as you said. She just looked sad and confused. These two, Twilight and Luna, have such a fundamental inability to understand one another.
Luna actually ended up doing exactly what she didn't want to do, and while it was, like, 80% out of being guilt-tripped, she did at least want to offer a bit of a 'hey, are you okay?' all while going through terrible mental torment. She did the most unselfish thing, and got horribly hurt because of it. Never once does she imply that the world revolves around her or any selfish desire, but she's clearly not getting the right amount of respect in these kinds of situations, and all her protests were cut off by the other two at various points in the story. It's almost humorous that you'd suggest Luna is the one being inconsiderate when she does the most considerate thing she can, even though it's hurting her.
She doesn't owe Twilight anything, especially reassurance. If anyone did anything wrong in this story, a simple drama and not a grand tale of good and evil or anything with a protagonist/antagonist scale, it was Twilight. She couldn't even ask for a date face to face, too, and instead had it arranged in a very backhanded way. When Luna was scared or behaving oddly, she didn't act with reassurance or anything to ease Luna's struggle and discomfort. She didn't take recent experiences or how asocial was into consideration, either because she brought Luna out smack in a public place where someone who has gone through what Luna has (outed, though obviously not super nationally, as someone with depression and self-harming behavior) would not react well. She didn't even attempt to learn if Luna had romantic interest in her. Just because Twilight isn't cackling, mean, or acting in any overtly negative or seemingly problematic way doesn't mean that she wasn't the one in the wrong or that she hurt somepony very deeply.
Yes, Luna could have refused if she was in less mental turmoil, but she clearly felt (and outside of her own bias, was) forced into a situation that's not acceptable to put anyone in. Now, that's inconsiderate.
8934801
If this is as you said, the you seriously need to put an AU tag on this because everyone is acting so OOC that they're hardly recognizeable out side of their physical description. You don't have to like my opinion, and I doubt you will.
8934989
There isn't anything in here that's out of character. It's a drama of flaws and faults, and while that may not align with how you see the characters that doesn't make anything in here out of character. While many things happen in the story with good intentions on some parts (Celestia does want to help Luna even if she wasn't very good at it and didn't know what Luna needed) and Twilight wasn't perfect, that wouldn't be out of character or require and alternate universe tag. I do know what to tag my stories, but I don't know how you came to the conclusion you did reading this when it is a story that's not so nuanced that you need to think extra deeply about its content. There's little that makes the characters particularly unrecognizable.
Yes, I've read the description. Yes, I've read some (not all) comments and discussions concerning what I'm about to bring up.
The story revolves around a serious topic and is handled well. There's obviously a 'but' implied, strongly implied. I think that... the 'romance'-tag is misleading. Especially since it's written from Lunas point of view, there's not a single, teensy-tiny hint of romance in this. Yes, Twilight might have feelings - but even that isn't said outright. And to be honest, after reading - it doesn't feel like she's romantically interested in Luna, too.
While I don't agree with this being a romance story, I would tag this thing 'sad', or something similar. As dlazerous pointed out - Luna's having a bad time, Tia's having a bad time, Twilight's having a bad time - hell, even Rarity is probably having a bad time. And as an unavoidable result of this: I'm having a bad time.
That's not anything inherently bad. This story obviously doesn't strive to be cheery. But readers going into this should know what they have to expect. I'm trying to hammer this point as much as I do for a simple reason. My activity on this site isn't continuous. I just recently started reading again, after more than a year of just lurking and collecting stories in my 'read later'-list. And that was a good year. MLP is my safe haven. My retreat. I come here to read stories to feel good. To feel accompanied. To feel something. Because I'm miserable. Not 'having to read' that last year was a blessing. But I'm here again, for reasons.
As with almost all stories in my 'read later'-shelf, I expected - hoped - for something cheerful. I got downed, hard. And I think there might be readers out there who, for whatever reasons, get hit even harder by stuff like this.
So while the story itself is good and all, I hope you can reconsider the tags you used for it.
Thank you.
9026796
Thanks for the comment! I debated the tags on this one before posting it, back when I wrote it, and I feel that the tags describe it well, but it's the description that gives away that this isn't a story of cheery things... and at the same time, it's not all sad, either. The romance tag is for the situation - a date is being set up - and because Twilight does in fact have feelings for Luna. They're probably not the deepest feelings, but they're still feelings of attraction.
The only time I revoke the romance tag outright is if the relationship in question is abusive/rape/mind-control based/anything similar, since there's no romance in any of those. However, the usage of the drama tag is fine - drama is about feelings, and this story is certainly about feelings. It's not a tear-fest, even if it's sad. Certainly not all drama is happy, and the range of emotions in drama stories varies. This is something that is made of everyday errors. Luna isn't going to love Twilight, and that's okay. Twilight had a bad day, that happens. Celestia doesn't understand Luna in this, and thought she was doing everypony a favor. It happens.
But thank you for reading.
Yeah. I feel nothing for Luna here. If I was meant to feel something, it failed miserably. Unless of course that was the plan, and I'm meant to want her to be knocked around a few times.
That worked. If not, then yeah. You make it impossible to like Luna, or even try and see it from her perspective. And I agree that the whole idea for her and Twilight in the chapter was a very dumb idea.
I still love the story. Just thought I'd get that out.
9853139
I'm genuinely not sure how you came to this conclusion; especially since she was guilt-tripped into a date with someone she felt no attraction to while in a vulnerable emotional state post-Tantabus.
*owed Twilight
*try to tell somepony else
Hmm. This was an interesting story. I really felt for Luna in this one. Along with her being post-Tantabus and clearly needing alone time to recover from that turmoil and feel safe, I got the vibe that she was either straight or aromantic/asexual on top of clearly not being into Twilight. Celestia forcing to Luna to socialize—as well as setting her up as Twilight's rebound—honestly seems in character for me, given the rift between them demonstrated in the show at times. It certainly wasn't happy to read about, but I don't get the comments that complain about the characterization. I think the Romance tag works okay, both as a descriptor, and as a subversive gut-punch. I went into this expecting TwiLuna, and got a deep dive into Luna's mind instead—which isn't a bad thing.
All in all, I want to hug the sad goth horse, per usual. Faved.
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MCFREAKING HECK THOSE TWO TYPOS ARE NOW FIXED
And here I thought the revised version caught everything.
You seem to be in the minority here. Most people did not pick up that Luna didn't even comprehend the idea of being attractive to Twilight or possess any indicators she was a lesbian. Not to mention, she's backed into a corner to go into this situation and it leads to her having a panic attack in a f/f "nice guy" situation of thinking she has to owe somepony romance. None of those things are very cash money.
It's a story about e-rated more-or-less gaslighting and magical canonical self-harm aftermath. I feel that the only people who were angry at Luna were denied shippers or people who were thrown off by flaws in the previous version. The latter I can understand.
I mean, the description is meant to give away things that aren't in ship-shape. The drama tag is there. Not to mention everything above. Twilight has misguided/unrequited romantic feelings, which is enough for a romance tag.
Thank you for such poggers feedback, gamer.
Unlike the author I don't eat children; my usual diet is mostly TwiLuna and full grain.
So this story was certainly not written for me and somewhat painful to read. But I did. Twice even.
Luna's characterization is in line with her depiction in the early show including the Tantabus incident.
Twilight is very twilight as well, painfully so when it comes to her talent to overlook/ignore the obvious.
Can't really see how other commenters could interpret any of this as badly OOC; then again, it's the same picture in many comment sections, practically every time a popular ship fails because the author clearly focused on the wrong character traits. How dare they mention the thing that can ruin it all!^^
Heh, anyway. The one thing that does bother me tho is Luna's sexual orientation. Is she bi or straight? It doesn't feel like it's meant to be so nebulous, yet I can't tell even after the re-read. As silly as Tia can be, I doubt she'd forget/not know which way her sister swings.
The actual date somehow reads more like it's being written from a straight Luna's perspective, but the very first thing that came to her mind when she learned about the date was that Twilight's looks don't match her preferences. The second thing was Twi's personality and submissive behavior. Those simply aren't traits you'd consider unless the person in question is at least within your strike zone in terms of gender and age.
If someone had set me up for a date with another guy, the dude's handsome facial features, or lack thereof, would be the least and last of my worries and not play a role in my assessment of the situation.
Yet the monologue goes on and apparently it'd be stranger for Luna to be with a mare than it'd be for Twilight to be illiterate. This part sounds like it hasn't happened before even once, which doesn't fit with her previous thoughts nor the situation as a whole.
So is she technically bi-sexual - and had rolls in the hay with mares in the past that Tia knows about - but is romantically only interested in stallions - an important distinction her sister might not be aware of? Maybe Luna prefers partners with a level of 'dominance' that usually rules out mares by default and Twilight in particular?
It just doesn't make sense to me and if the nature of her sexual orientation stays unclear then this entire bit becomes even more redundant.
A lack of romantic interest in Twilight based on their incompatible personalities would be enough to cover that aspect of the situation.
Personality being the dominant criteria would of course imply 'bi by default pastel horse' for the same reason I mentioned earlier, but we're all used to that by now and the story would flow easier without the unnecessary confusion. Whether Luna's straight, asexual or gay as hay for everypony but Twilight is of no consequence for the rest of the story. She simply isn't interested in Twilight; the exact reason and how it relates to her sexuality doesn't matter. It's literally everything else about the situation that's freaking her out.
Many words about a minor flaw in an otherwise great story. Not a happy story, but it's written too well to dismiss it simply because the teased ship doesn't work out. The description is telling enough; it's kind of the point.
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I think it has more to do with the fact that characters having flaws that can make an argument for why a favored ship doesn't work irk people. I like Rarity/Applejack a whole bunch, but depending on what is focused on and how they're written, it also makes sense why they wouldn't end up together. And there are folks who went into this expecting a fluffy romance story, which this never was.
This is actually intentional. If you really want to know, in the story continuity this occurs in, she's a biromantic asexual, but one massively skewed towards the hetero side of things, think like 9/10 she'd go for anyone who isn't female. I have in my notes (because sometimes I simply do not remember these things off the top of my head) that for mares, it really only extends to tomboys/more androgynous ones -- so, more like Applejack. TLDR she's not sexually attracted to anypony, which means she can be less inclined to pursue relationships, she is romantically attracted to all genders, but not only massively prefers one, when it comes to mares she has a type. Celestia setting Luna up with Twilight is her showing that she doesn't know this about Luna -- while Luna speaks about herself with ease, the fact that she just generally seems disinterested and never gives off a clear label to what she is shows that she doesn't really address this part of herself to the point that getting a read on what she is becomes very difficult. At this point in my timeline of stories, Celestia just has no idea what Luna is and has assumed that she's just a very private lesbian and that some of her social anxiety/otherness comes from feeling out of place in that regard. She's technically right about the otherness part but for the wrong reasons.
Exactly.
It's more just her expressing that she knows she's hella ace/straight without being clunky about how it's relayed.
She's not been with anypony before, she just knows where she's oriented.
She just doesn't like what she would see as a pushover in terms of temperament. Twilight is a very obedient and dutiful character, one who doesn't always question socially-accepted authorities, factor in strange possibilities, or break social manners. Luna simply finds that kind of personality grating.
It's very much a story rooted in indirect characterization and focusing on what's said -- it's incredibly common for people to make these kinds of assumptions, even in situations where it's not dangerous to disclose information like one's sexual orientation. I've had many women assume that I'm straight and make passes at me before, often when I didn't even realize it. Nothing deep is necessarily reflected in these assumptions, but it can lead to the kind of conflicts that make a story.
Which I mentioned above with the part about grating personalities.
Which again, is intentional. Luna communicates to herself what she is, but struggles to understand why anyone would perceive her as a lesbian simply because she doesn't really show interest in anypony and hasn't been in any relationships before, since that can signify any number of things. But she also struggles to both be listened to and state outright what she is because to her, it's the most normal thing in the world. She knows what she is and is used to that. Everypony else isn't.
Finally, someone gets it.
How dare you do this to me
. Anyways, I don't really feel Twilight did much wrong her besides be her normal somewhat oblivious self. Celestia obviously pushed Luna into it without taking her feelings into account. Decent story even if the TwiLuna lover in me says otherwise.
11830617 I am more than capable of drinking from my great mug of reader tears when the need arises.