this. is. EPIC

>>795012795012

Really? How come?

>>Midi i dunno it just is.

Yeah, I know I said I'd take a break from fanfiction, but I haven't had much computer time, so stories it is!

And I know this chapter is uneventful. But with my text limit, that's all I can fit in without making awkward break points. Action starts next chapter!

huzaah!! the next chapter is finally her

YayI was wondering when you'd update this

I found about a dozen grammatical errors

But other than that, great chapie!

>>979586979586 Show me so I can fix them?

>>979955979955 you'll have to give a few minutes seeing as how I will be doing this on my tablet.

"What in the name off Celestia was that?!" Applejack shouted, ducking for cover.

Of, not off

"I guess I should head into town and see about renting a spot in the market. I

shoukd check up on Cres, too."

Should, not shoukd

And there were a couple of things that seemed out of character for applejack. For example I can't picture her asking "how powerful" but "how tough" or "how strong" seems more in character. Hope my input was helpful.

And I'm apparantly so tired I imagined the rest of the errors...huh, go figure : /

squirrelly! :3 hehe cute!

"With all this not exploding I've stopped not doing he'll think I've forgotten not to blow up nothing at all never again!" I'm lost at taht point

>>10193601019360 Well, that makes Q.6 of us

You seem to have forgotten to close the italics

And somehow, so have I

>>10546341054634 Fixed it. Thanks.

I think he needs a preschool book too hehe :3

Always avoid alliteration (wait, what?).

On an unrelated note, this story needs a higher like/dislike ratio; 3:1 is unacceptable for a story of this quality

yay

Am I as bad at writing fight scenes as I think I am?

Nothing can stop the schmooze!

his voice peel out

"What if I do something stupid? What if Derpy sees me? If she thinks I'm an idiot"

I understand the panic, but has he forgotten about how clumsy derpy is? nothing he could do would come close to one of her derps.... that's what makes me want to read more though, so continue with the conspiracies!

also it should be, "what if she thinks I'm an idiot".

FUS ROH DAH! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

epic, totally epic conspiracy

best fight scene yet, also amazing conspiracy at the end, who are the two new characters that are talking?

>>11957301195730 >:3

Pff, cougar!Mayor!

......

>>13943781394378 Thank you for an informative and constructive comment. I feel my time has been well spent.

That line was in major sarcasm quotes.

>>13951841395184 ......

>>13951841395184 Zalgo leaving a comment means he really liked it :3 and I loooved it