one thing lacking he-ah

the human tag

but seems okay

ive been looking for a human/pony story for a long time now. especially one with mane six! Good

Were is Lyra during this Party?

sometimes random words are missing in sentences? but besides that I like it, will definitely keep reading

"I smiled and clenched my fist with excitement"

Image: http://funny-pics.co/wp-content/uploads/the-original-success-kid-445x299.jpg

I need more of this. Many will tell you HumanXPony or just Human in Equestria is cliché and has been done to death.

It's true that there are indeed a lot of HiE stories out there. BUT, what's equally true is  that many of them are just plain out BAD.

Your story here have a few...minor problems which Dimondium have already pointed out. But overall, the way that you tell it is very enjoyable, and much better than the "common rabble" you see out there.

Listen to Dimondium, and keep writing! -- I'm favoriting this, and will eagerly await more chapters.

-- The Empress protects.

I really like the narrative so far, but it's slightly corny. I would have expected the ponies to be a lot more wary of AJ than they actually were at the time. Just because Pinkie suddenly declares who he is shouldn't suddenly make everypony like him.

Other than that, keep up the good work! I've always liked 'human-in-equestria' type fics, so I'm definitely tracking this.

Hmm i think it was rushed the who marry thing. Why not having them date. But that's just my opinion keep going I love this story.

Hmm.

I hope this is a dream.

Yes, that did escalate quickly. I don't think AJ should have proposed like that, just tell Applejack he loves her and that's that. Actually proposing is truly something extreme at this point in their relationship.

Still cute, and this doesn't ruin the story, but I think you should have waited a few chapters before he actually admitted anything at all. Just to keep readers interested.

>>801945801945

Oh, the journey doesn't end here, the story is just gettin started. In the coming chapters, hopefully his upfront honesty and proposal will make more sense.

>>802753802753 Oh. Okay. owo

LOVING THE STORY!!! keep it up

i give you six out of five yays.

>>806330806330[

Aww shucks, thanks!

img]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/021/c/e/applejack___blush_by_cptofthefriendship-d4n4mn3.png[/img]

'Twas a darned good chapter mah friend haha keep up the great work

Have a moustache

I was impressed! But please, I've said it in other fics I've read, But don't just bastardize humanity completely.

The whole "not judging on looks" I agree, but sometimes you have to look professional for some things.

Other than that, good fic, use a new paragraph when someone else is talking and this'll be one of the good ships with Applejack!

>>807503807503

Aww shucks, thanks brother!

>>808613808613

For real? I thought I had the new speaker new paragraph thing down. I'll change it if I find it

So much D'AAAAAWWWWW!

^^^^^

Agreed

You people wondering about time lapsed, I have been intentionally unspecific. I'm not so much worried about time lapsed then developing the relationship. It's been about 4 months since they've met. I appreciate the feedback/curiosity, but for the record, Romeo and Juliet spans 4 days, so I think 4 months is more then enough time for such a thing

When you're in love, why watch the clock?

This is going way better than I anticipated, and I think it's because the fellow's inner dialogue doesn't seem at all forced.  (Which is why I dare not ever write a love story, since it would sound contrived from the first paragraph onward.)   And Applejack, of course, always knows the state of her heart.

>>816951816951 I think it's worth mentioning that Romeo and Juliet got married so that their parents would have no control over their relationship, and they both ended up killing themselves before they truly got to know one another.

Image: http://i.qkme.me/3omnqu.jpg

In a good way.

Lol >>825740825740 I love that movie btw

Applejack eloping with AJ... now that is something I did not expect

>>826237826237

Is that bad?

>>826911826911

A bit OoC (but then again, she did hide that whole not winning 1st place badges at the rodeo in S02Ep14 Last Rodeo)... but let's hope Celestia grants her blessings to the couple (before Applejack becomes pregnant)

>>826955826955

I see what you're saying. In Applejack's defense, she hasn't actually lied or been dishonest yet. Just like in the episode you mentioned, she just hasn't revealed anything. She did, however, bring out the absolute honesty in AJ, which will have greater significance in coming chapters. The last thing I want to do is take her out of character, so if you feel like I'm doing that, please tell me.

>>826980826980

You got it... getting anxious about Celestia's reaction to this

"It was the happiest moment of my life."

Then suddenly, Cutie Mark Crusaders, out of fucking no where!

A marriage, and an earth pony one, nonetheless? Interesting topic, good sir.

And here I am, overtaken by yet another romance story, hoping everypony (so to speak) lives happily ever after.

(And why shouldn't I?)

WANT. MORE.

In all seriousness, I read this story because Applejack was my favorite of the Mane 6

I would just love to say that I really cannot wait for more of this story, if there ever will be more! I loved it!

Thank you - Sorin

Hnnnnnnngggg diabetis........so.......adorable.........

Then Big Mac finds out and AJ gets killed

>>833626833626

i just love this story and now I can't wait for the next chapter

Ponyville going Xenophobe and Racist again... hopefully Celestia sides with AJ and Applejack

"Reading half-way through"

BILLY DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING STUPID THAT WE ALL MIGHT REGRET.

Billy... Did you hit Applejack? Here comes the punishment..

Wow I was right.

OH NO.. Applejack isn't there? Oh no.. maybe this isn't gonna go so well..

I can only wish for this to go good. Maybe a few different endings!

AMAZING! - Sorin

When you charged with the rock and stick, all I could think of was The Trooper by Iron Maiden.

GOD DAMN RACISM!

we need a solrac emoticon

>>833322833322 Agreed.

But...but...but ponies are meant to love and tolerate. How could they be so judgmental

>>839609839609

It has to get bad before it gets good!

>>839611839611 That it does. Looking forward to more

Great as always have a moustache

Shit... Celestia is a xenophobic beeyotch. I hope she chokes on a carrot. Good chapter by the way. I RATE ZIS SEVEN FLUTTERSHYsS

...........celestia deserves the almighty backhand......that is all.....

I have a funny feeling AJ sacrifises himself to save Applejack... Applejack cries and Celestia is saying "What you crying on about?", gets bitch slapped by Applejack and realizes the love she has for AJ... AJ somehow turns into a pony (maybe magic or love) and happy ending and epilogue

I have a knife in my hand and im stabbing the air saying 'DIE CELESTIA YOU BITCH'

DAMMIT CELESTIA!! You can't make Applejack and AJ not love each other!

That was.. an unexpected surprise for Celestia to show up. I thought she acted the way Celestia would act in any case. Good job!

I'd say overall - Great story so far, and can't wait to see more. I kinda wish the text was a little more spaced out, it was looking a little cramped in there for over 1100 words. Sorry, I'm a Anyways, good job so far!

Thank you. Sorin

>>845845845845

Thanks for being so kind! I wouldn't write if it weren't for encouragement like that.

>>846007846007 AJ, I guess by now you know that I'm a mix of Applejack and Fluttershy, with a little Rarity and Twilight mixed in... Maybe a little too. ANYWAYS. I have to be honest and kind, along with generous with all of my sayings and doings, else my heart sinks. It's hurt me a few times, but I wake up the next day, so it's all good. I'm working on my second chapter to my story right now, so it should be up by some time tomorrow, or late today. "Thinking more tomorrow."

Thank you. Sorin

I would've mentioned Cadence's involvement. That way Celestia knows that another of the alicorns was involved.

Damn cliffhanger. Just when the chapter was getting to the most interesting part

FFFFFFFFFFF....... cliffhangers, especially when the story is getting even better  

"Reading the beginning"

Time to put sad music on..

"Here it is. The moment of truth."

End.

.......... ...........

AAAHHH! I want to know what happens NE-E-EXT! Aahahahhh.. "Crying"

........... Sorin

Thanks for making my dreams come true

Next chapter will result in:

Image: http://i.qkme.me/35wuuj.jpg

or

Image: http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/memes-aww-yeahhh.jpg

So far I love this story and can't wait to see how it turns out in the future

>>858301858301

I am not lying when I say the only reason I continue to write is because of encouragement like this

>>858547858547 you also write to turtue us with cliff hangers AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(reading over story)

"oh yeah this is getting good!"

(nearing most amazing part of the story)

"OH HERE IT COMES!!!!"

(end of page)

"BUCK these BUCKING cliff hangers!!!!!"

(throws computer out window, walks over to dresser, pulls out pistol, puts to head, about to pull the trigger, phone beeps, looks at phone, see the story updated)

"YES!!!!"

(realize computer sitting out on lawn in pieces, puts gun back to head)

"BUCK MY LIFE!!!!!"

(pulls trigger)

Image: http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/f00/de8/92d/resized/life-ain-t-easy-being-cheesy-meme-generator-it-ain-t-easy-being-cheesy-4750ed.jpg

Nice work, bud. /)*(\

FIRST, BYATCH!!

This is going to be an interesting gathering with the new family, or one seriously angry red pony

At first I was all like "Ugh. Are you fucking kidding me? Another story about a Seventh Element?"

And then I was all like "Sharing an Element!? That's a pretty unique idea, considering this follows pretty much the same formula as every other HiE story (of which I am also guilty)."

OOooooohhhhhhhh man, that's the first time I've heard of anything like an element of harmony being intertwined into TWO beings.

This.. is gonna be awesome.

Thank you. Sorin

"And the two shall be one."  Which is pretty awesome in itself, if you ask me.

Now for some serious flank-kicking.

sooooo cheesy, yet so right. Another great chapter

>>859342859342

How did I miss this comment? I laughed out loud

I.....NEED.....MOOOORE!!!

awwwww GROUP FAMILY HUG

LOVE IT! I really like the way you did Big Mac in this part. Still, I wish the text was a little more spaced out. It was looking a little cramped again.

Other than that: Excellent work so far with this story!

Thank you. Sorin

Big mac + Rage = Glomp? Seems Legit.

It's allright everyone Spike's got this (pulls out a diamond)

That is so true.

Spike: Who needs a key when you got a diamond! (pull out diamond)

Lock: Challenge Accepted!:

over 3000 words of pure amazing.

EVIL DARK LORD, I WILL PERSONALLY COME AND RIP YOUR HEART OUT IF YOU TOUCH APPLEJACK!

I can only imagine Rarity's face when Spike pulled out that diamond...

Thank you. Sorin

Spike has pockets?

Sad to see that this story is almost over, but it's been great can't wait to see the next chapter

Heh.  The Big Bad just got trolled.  Anyway, I would hate to see this story come to an end but what must be done, must be done.  Anyway, this story is great and keep up the good work!

"Applejack is right, this guy's pride blinds him. Sure, he's powerful, but he's nothing the elements can't handle! We just need to bait him somehow," said Rainbow Dash.

Oh Rainbow Dash, and yours doesn't on most occasions?

Which explains why Dash is familiar with the concept, wouldn't you think?

Excuse me while I shed manly tears.

This was a really great story. I too have a deep fascination for applejack. Would really like to see a story that takes place a few years after this one! see what happens then?

but nonetheless kudos to you, very impressive story!

Why not make a sequel? (like 5 years later... she becomes pregnant with AJ's child)

Brilliant story... ((Only slight problem I had was I noticed a few things here and there, such as "Apple Bloom reached in for the first peace," and "Applejack whilst she got her peace." Then after that, it says "Piece". Not sure if those were on purpose, but we'll see.

I also have a big spot in my heart for Applejack. She is my personal favorite of the mane 6 after all.

Thank you. Sorin

I love this story! ^^

I am glad to have stayed with this story till the very end, Applejack is my favorited of the mane six. Not pushing, but agreeing with others a sequel with them at a later time would be great

>>885169885169

Fixed, thanks for pointing it out

It is traditional to mock "And they all lived happily ever after."  Consider this my refusal to bow to tradition.

Thank you.  This was lovely.

That ending wasn't long enough!

I was reading and when I reached the end I was like "Wait , this is the end...    Noooooooo!!"

Beautiful...absolutely beautiful bravo