Teenage Brony from Australia, willing to try his hand at fan fiction. Likes video games, reading, MLP (obviously), Doctor Who, milk, looking at funny internet videos, and finding loopholes in logic.
39w, 4dCrikey, what a month! 1 comments · 62 views
43w, 5dPonky is gone... 3 comments · 61 views
48w, 4dAnd over here we have... 2 comments · 55 views
48w, 6dThe New Years Fireworks 3 comments · 40 views
50w, 1dMerry Christmas, everyone! 2 comments · 54 views
50w, 3dAn update on story progress 1 comments · 49 views
51w, 1dRegeneration Complete! 3 comments · 54 views
51w, 4dI'm going to change my username. 16 comments · 50 views
51w, 6dUhh, what? 0 comments · 34 views
53w, 2dFanboyism 3 comments · 70 views
“Why, how art thou, sibling?” Princess Luna says in her Royal Canterlot Voice, entering Princess Celestia's royal bedroom. The ceiling has Princess Celestia's cutie mark, the eight pointed sun, painted across it, while a thick, lush carpet covers the floor. The afternoon sun is just starting to kiss the horizon, reminding Princess Luna that she will have to raise the moon soon. A large, queen size bed sits off to one side, draped with lace curtains coloured a brilliant violet. A large, thick cushion lies in the middle of the room with the same violet colour and has a long golden headrest on one side in case an emergency power nap is ever needed. On this cushion lies Princess Celestia, who is just finishing a report for the royal chefs.
“Hello Luna. You're still putting on the whole “Banished for a millennium and can't talk properly” thing, aren't you?” Princess Celestia replies, sighing. Princess Luna gives a hearty chuckle.
“Yes I am. Honestly, how else am I going to get to yell at somepony? Yelling opportunities are very rare when you're the leader of such a nice, polite nation.” Princess Luna says, talking without her Royal Canterlot Voice. Princess Celestia gives a light chuckle.
“Maybe, but isn't it about time you started to pretend to adapt to our way of speech? You've been back for a year now and ponies are getting suspicious.” Princess Celestia says.
“Oh, let me have my fun, Tia. I've been gone for a thousand years and I had precious little of it on the moon.” Princess Luna says, smiling to let Princess Celestia know that she's just joking.
“Well, I can't argue with that.” Princess Celestia says, just as a letter comes out of the mail hole. “Ah! A new letter from my student. Let's see what she's learned today...”
I wrap my arms around her neck, rubbing my fingers through her mane and our lips lock in a passionate embrace. Fur and scales meet as I press her closer to me, pushing myself deeper inside of her, making her shudder with pleasure-
“Oh my me!” Princess Celestia says. “Why in Equestria would Twilight send me this?” Princess Luna looks over Princess Celestia's shoulder to read.
I can tell she's close to climax. She holds me closer to her and starts to breath faster, letting loose little gasps or moans every few seconds. We both reach breaking point at the same time and our tides collide in a massive frenzy-
“... Well... That most certainly is an... Interesting lesson...” Princess Luna says, raising an eyebrow. Princess Celestia's mouth is still open in shock.
“How could she ever write such a thing?” Princess Celestia says.
“I'm not so sure she wrote this. It looks more like her assistant, Spike. See?” Princess Luna says, pointing to a spot on the page.
“Oh Spike, I never knew you were that big!” Rarity says, sliding off of me.
“It is pretty big, isn't it?” I say, sliding my hands under my head as I lay next to the mare I never thought I'd ever get a chance to sleep with.
“Hmm, now that you point that out, It does look more like Spike wrote it.” Princess Celestia says. She starts to roll it up. “Well, I'm going to send it right back to her and tell her that Spike-”
“Um, sis?” Princess Luna interrupts. “I was, um... I was actually wondering if I could just... keep it?”
“PINKIE PIE! YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” Applejack shouts as she slams open the door to Sugarcube Corner. Various baked treats sit on shelves lining the store, as well as a multitude of other sweet confectioneries. A sweet, chocolatey smell fills the air, coming from the kitchen. Mrs Cake stands at the counter, looking surprised at Applejack's sudden outburst.
“Oh dear! Ms. Applejack, what is it?” Mrs Cake asks. Applejack walks up to Mrs Cake and looks her in the eyes angrily.
“I'll tell you what it is! Pinkie Pie just gave me a piece a' parchment containin' some a' the foulest material I ever seen!”Applejack says to Mrs Cake, who is now starting to look frightened at Applejack's very obvious outrage. “Why, it even had Rarity in it, being treated like some filthy SLU-” The doorbell jingles as it slams open yet again.
“PINKIE PIE! WHAT THE HAY DID YOU HAVE THAT PAGE FOR?!?” Screams a very mad Rainbow Dash, who is now running into the room. Applejack spins around to look at Rainbow Dash.
“Page? You saw it too, huh?” Applejack asks. Rainbow Dash snorts steam out of her nostrils.
“Damn right I saw it! You wanna know where I saw it? I found Apple Bloom and Scootaloo reading it underneath the big tree next to the fountain!” Rainbow Dash says. Applejack gasps heavily.
“You saw Apple Bloom reading it? Oh, Pinkie Pie, you got a lot ta answer for!” Applejack shouts, racing up the stairs to Pinkie Pie's room. Mrs Cake looks thoroughly confused and scared by now.
“Girls! GIRLS! What in Equestria is this “page” you're talking about?” Mrs Cake says, running after them. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stand facing Pinkie Pie's bedroom door. Inside, they can hear her talking and upturning various pieces of furniture.
“Where is it? WHERE IS IT?” Pinkie Pie's voice comes from under the door. Applejack gives the door a massive buck, breaking the lock and smashing it into the door stopper. Pinkie Pie looks up faster than a kangaroo in a spotlight, caught in the middle of lifting up her bed to look under it.
“Pinkie Pie! What the hay where you thinking when you gave me that?” Applejack shouts at her. Pinkie Pie drops the bed with a crash and looks at her, confused.
“Gave you what? The recipes? Oh, I was thinking about yummy stuff! Like marshmallows and chocolate and bananas and-” Pinkie Pie says. Rainbow Dash slams a hoof down on the floor.
“Don't play games with us Pinkie Pie! The page that you put in Applejack's recipe folder! The piece of parchment containing your disgusting fantasy!” Rainbow Dash shouts, making Pinkie Pie gasp her largest gasp to date.
“THAT'S where it was? Oh no, I'm so sorry you had to see that, I-” Pinkie Pie stammers out.
“Oh yeah? Are ya sorry that Scootaloo and Applebloom saw it too?” Applejack says. Pinkie Pie gives another gasp, even larger than her previous record breaker.
“Oh no! Not them, too!” Pinkie Pie groans, holding her head in her hooves. “That's even worse!”
“What do you have to say for yourself, writing something like that?” Rainbow Dash says. Pinkie Pie looks up from her hooves, confused.
“What? Oh, nonononono, I didn't write it!” Pinkie Pie says. Rainbow Dash and Applejack look at each other.
“What do you mean, you didn't write it?” Rainbow Dash says.
“I caught it! It was flying through the air as a paper aeroplane, so I caught it and read what was inside. I got really scared, so I just stuffed it away in the nearest place, I didn't mean to put it in your folder!” Pinkie Pie explains. Rainbow Dash and Applejack look stunned.
“Wait...did you say aeroplane?” Applejack says.
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie says. “There was a massive storm of them, so I reached out to grab one. Instead, I got that piece of parchment with all that nasty stuff on it!”
“Wait, so the parchment came with that big storm of paper aeroplanes?” Rainbow Dash asks, her anger almost gone. “Where did they come from, anyway?” Applejack snorts, her anger not gone yet.
“Oh, I know where they came from, alright!” Applejack says, storming out of Pinkie Pie's room.
Fluttershy is lying on her couch with a stack of papers in front of her. She's very concentrated on her task, which is making sure all of her documents are there and in order.
“So that one's here, and finally, this one's here!” Fluttershy says. “After 3 hours of sorting, I finally have them all in order!” Then, her cottage door is wrenched open with a mighty slam, causing her to shriek in fear and scatter her documents everywhere. She lies quivering, her head under her hooves as something approaches her menacingly.
“Fluttershy?” Applejack says in a low, angry growl. “We need ta talk...” Fluttershy lifts her hooves up and opens one eye to look at Applejack's very angry scowl. Giving another squeak of fear, she holds her head back down under her hooves.
“Did you write that story that was on that parchment?” Applejack asks. Fluttershy shakes her head from under her hooves.
“Nonono, it wasn't me! It wasn't me! I just found it! Please stop growling, it's scaring me!” Fluttershy says, starting to cry. Applejack stops growling, but continues to stare at her suspiciously. Just as the first tear starts to run down Fluttershy's cheek, Rainbow Dash walks in carrying a panting Pinkie Pie.
“Oh yeah? So ya found it, huh? Mind telling me where ya found it?” Applejack says.
“Whoa, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash says. “Shouldn't you lay off her for a bit?”
“Shh, Rainbow.” Applejack says. “Come on Fluttershy, where did you find it?” Fluttershy looks up, tears streaming down her face.
“O-Okay, I'll t-tell you...” Fluttershy says, sniffling.
“Why in the whole of Equestria would Rarity even have somethin' like that? Not to mention hiding it in a place where it's definitely gonna be found!” Applejack says, running through the streets of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie bouncing along tiredly by.
“Can't we just *pant* stop for *pant* just a minute?” Pinkie Pie says, out of breath. Fluttershy flies up next to Applejack.
“Um, Applejack, I'm not saying you're wrong or anything, but, isn't there a chance that it wasn't actually Rarity that wrote it? I mean, why would she even do that?” Fluttershy says timidly. Rainbow Dash flies up to Applejack's other side.
“You know, Fluttershy has a point. Why would Rarity, of all ponies, write an erotic story about herself and Spike, from his point of view? It doesn't make sense!” Rainbow Dash says.
“That's why we're headin' there ta find out. I'm not gonna rest 'til I found out who wrote that dang page and why.” Applejack says. As they gallop through Ponyvile, they hear Twilight's voice come from the library.
“THAT WAS YOU?!?!” Twilight screams. All four ponies skid to a halt.
“What in tarnation?” Applejack says. She starts to gallop in the direction of the library.
“You wrote... But... Why?” Twilight says, staring at Rarity, dumbstruck. Rarity steps back in confusion.
“Wrote what, darling?” Rarity asks. “Twilight, you're not making any sense.” Twilight just stands there, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water.
“Uh, *sniff* Twilight?” Spike says, now coming down the stairs. “What are you getting so upset about?” Twilight turns to look at Spike, the shocked expression still on her face.
“She...She wrote-” Twilight starts, but the sound of wood slamming against wood stops her mid-sentence. Into the library runs an angry looking Applejack, a confused Rainbow Dash, a frightened Fluttershy, and a very tired looking Pinkie Pie.
“Phew!” Pinkie Pie says, falling onto the floor and hitting her chin.
“What in the hay were ya yelling about, Twi?” Applejack asks. Twilight struggles to think.
“Really, what in Equestria is going on?” Rarity says. “I really have no idea what you're talking about-”
“We saw the page, Rarity.” Twilight finally manages to say. “You know, that page your wrote on parchment and hid in the book you borrowed?” Spike gasps is surprise, Rarity blinks twice in rapid succession, and Pinkie Pie pushes herself off the floor in confusion.
"Huh?" Pinkie Pie says, one of her eyebrows rising.
“Rarity?” Spike says, not believing what he heard. “You...” Rarity shakes her head and clears her throat.
“Oh Twilight, you must be mistaken! I'd know better than to hide something in a book, least of all one you've lent me.” Rarity says. Applejack looks at Twilight.
“Wait, you've seen the page too?” Applejack asks.
“What page are you talking about?” Rarity asks, getting angry now that nopony is taking notice of her.
“Yes, I have. Wait, has every pony here seen the page?” Twilight asks. Everypony (Excluding Rarity) nods their head.
“Well I for one have absolutely no idea what is going on!” Rarity says. Everypony in the room stares at her. Rarity looks around at everypony. “Really, what are you all talking about?”
“Come on, Rarity, we already know. That piece of parchment you lost? We've all read it.” Rainbow Dash says. Rarity looks taken aback.
“Wait... So, every single one of you?” Rarity says.
“Apparently so.” Twilight says. Rarity stands there silently, until she grins and says:
“So... What did you girls think?” She says breathlessly. “Isn't it just perfect?”
“Whoa, what?” Applejack says. “What do you mean, “ain't it jus' perfect!”?”
“Well? Didn't you girls think it was just splendid?” Rarity says. “I spent so long on it, ever since the day I received that ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. It was every so hard to come up with the right things, but I think it worked out really well.” Everypony stares dumbstruck.
“Rarity? How could you possibly think that we would like it?” Twilight says.
“It was absolutely horrible!” Rainbow Dash says.
“Mighty disgustin', that's what it was.” Applejack says.
“It's going to give me nightmares!” Pinkie Pie says.
“It was... I mean, no offense or anything, but, it was just... bad.” Fluttershy says. Rarity stares at her friends, looking heartbroken.
“Well, I thought it was alright.” Spike says. Everpony looks at him. “What?” he says, shrugging. “I mean, for something so atrocious, it was meh.” Rarity's eyes well up with tears.
“How could you all be so insensitive!” She cries, before she gallops out of the library, crying and sobbing.
Sweetie Belle watches Rarity run out of Twilight's house from outside the library window. She chuckles to herself darkly as she holds up Rarity's actual missing parchment – Her dream wedding plans.
“All according to plan...” Sweetie Belle says evilly. This wasn't exactly true. She hadn't really planned for the page to go to all of her sister's friends. Just to Fluttershy and Twilight. She had also realised that Spike might actually fall in love with Rarity even more if it looked like she wanted him, so it had taken weeks for Sweetie Belle to learn how to copy Spike's handwriting to make it even more shocking and disgusting when the truth came out. But even with all the obstructions it had all worked out in the end. Rarity doesn't have any friends left. Now she'll have no choice but to spend time with me!
“Revenge.” Sweetie Belle says, giving vent to another evil chuckle. “SWEET REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Boom. Red Herring. So, this twist really does twist around the other twist a bit. Some people might not like it, though. It might have ruined the story for you, or it might have made it better. I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. If not, well, I can't say I blame you.
Once again, any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!
EDIT: Just fixed a few errors.
EDIT 2: Fixed up some major plot holes. Thanks to Periphery and awesomespike for spotting these!