1: Monday
Though his face was completely obscured by his pillow, James could tell that it was morning. He hadn’t opened his eyes to look at his clock on his nightstand and he couldn’t see any sunlight bathing his room in its luminescent glow but he just… knew. It was a talent that he had developed at a young age, when the fear of waking up for school was a very real and very foreboding thing. And, while it had been a rather long time since he had stepped foot in a school of any kind— because school was for baby nerds— that feeling, that sixth sense, was just as strong and just as sharp as it had ever been.
With a grumble he nuzzled his face deeper into his pillow, still intent on getting more sleep. While he didn’t notice, as dead to the world as he was, his pillow let out a gasp, squirming at his touch. There was something off about this pillow, something that his barely conscious self couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“Oh goodness… James? What on ear—James, James, wake up.”
With a yawn, he cracked one of his eyes open ever so slightly as he felt someone gently, but firmly, tapping the top of his head.
The light grey Roborovski hamster housed in his skull yawned hugely as it stepped into the wheel that powered the young man’s mind. It wasn’t a very nice wheel. There were bits of it that were rusted and the wheel would make the most annoying squeaking sound in the world whenever the hamster would start moving, but even still the hamster readied itself for another long, arduous day.
Giving its little legs a stretch, and wishing for whoever was knocking on his home to cut that nonsense out (it couldn’t even open the door to see what they wanted for goodness sake!), it began to turn the wheel.
James, still just lying there half dead to the world, jolted as his mind fired up like an old, yet remarkably reliable weed whacker.
“James. For Celestia’s sake, JAMES, open your eyes!”
Blinking owlishly, he slowly pulled his face away from his unnaturally warm, furry pillow, to look up at his tormentor, only to be booped rather viciously on the nose for his troubles.
“Ow,” he tiredly grumbled, scrunching up his face as his eyes crossed on their own accord.
His booper let out a worried gasp. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright, James?”
Rolling his jaw and wiggling his nose, the tired young man slowly nodded. “Yeah, you didn’t hit me that ha—”
Rarity, element of generosity, fashionista extraordinaire and Ponyville’s premier town gossip was staring down at him, her big blue eyes filled with concern.
James jolted once more as the little hamster in his head increased its pace from a trot to a canter. He quickly looked away from the concerned unicorn. His bedroom wasn’t nearly this big and the color of the walls were wrong. The carpet covering the floor was too clean and white to be his. The purple silk sheets draped over him weren’t his. The cloud-like bed he was lying on wasn’t his either, and Mrs. Rarity, who’s tummy he appeared to have been using as a pillow, most certainly wasn’t owned by him.
…Probably.
He looked away from all of the new visual stimuli that he was presented with to look back at Rarity. There were a million questions running through his mind, concerns and fears that he would very much like settled, but, as he looked up at the unicorn, he found himself drawing a blank.
“…Good morning, Rarity.”
Rarity, though her usually elegant mane was in disarray and she was missing her usual eyeshadow and foundation, smiled at him. “And a good morning to you too, James,” she answered politely.
“Yeah…”
His hamster, with an irritated scowl, increased its pace to a light jog, making a face as squeaks filled the air.
“…Rarity?”
“Yes dear?”
“Why am I in your bed?”
Rarity opened her mouth to answer when a look of confusion came to her face. “Well… I don’t rightly know,” she admitted. “I was wondering if you’d be able to shed some light on that.”
James tried to move his arm but found it pinned to the bed under her body. “…Are you sure you didn’t bring me here?” he asked, concern splashing into his tone.
The unicorn’s brow furrowed. “Whyever would I do something like that?” she rather indignantly demanded.
“Well, I was thinking that maybe you brought me here to eat me—”
“Why I’d never—!”
“—But then I wondered how you’d be able to do something like that since I’m so much bigger than you and you don’t have teeth for the job.” A hum escaped James’s lips as he stared off into nothing in thought. “You could maybe unhinge your jaw, or maybe you’re just hiding your real teeth with a really realistic retainer, but why would you wake me up before you ate me? And why would you eat me in your bed?”
“Unhinge my jaw?! Here you are in my bed making such wild—”
“Did you carry me here to have your way with me, Rarity?” James asked, not a hint of malice in his voice. “Or did you—thmp!”
Rarity, her white coat now flush, clamped a hoof over his mouth. “I believe that I shall be asking the questions from now on, James dear, since you seem so out of your wits,” she said, shaking her head. “Making such accusations. About a lady no less!”
“Well… you do know how you get some—thmp!” He managed to say, before Rarity’s hoof once again silenced him.
“Détends toi , mon cher,” the fashionista commanded, rolling him onto his back. With a huff, she climbed on top of him so that she was straddling his chest. “Now, you have invaded my place of residency and crawled into my bed uninvited like some harlot!”
Rarity’s nose scrunched up as she glared down at him with all of the intensity she could muster. Unfortunately for her it was early in the morning, and just like James, her hamster, a mixture Dwarf Campbells Russian and a Syrian(who had better working conditions and a better wheel since she was in the Union), was only at a canter, so her glare fell just a hair sort. Instead of giving off an aura of intimidation she just looked like she needed a hug. Nevertheless she persevered, staring down at the young man even as he looked up at her.
“Now, you shall tell me why you are in my home and you shall do it right this minute!” she demanded, leaning down so that their noses were touching. “And you shall be doing so without making your silly accusations. Do you understand?” She then retracted her hoof from James’s mouth, giving him the chance to say his peace.
“…Would it be alright if I made some silly accusations first? Please?” he asked, staring up at her with puppy dog eyes.
Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she blew a bit of mane out of her face. “Must you?”
“I have quite a few of them,” James answered honestly.
“…Then you may,” Rarity answered, adopting a bit more hesitant expression. “Though I must insist that you say nothing too outrageous. Celestia knows how much nonsense I can take this early in the morning…”
With a not-at-all reassuring nod, James began his questioning. Since he didn’t want to overwhelm the fashionista right away he decided to start out easy:
“Are you sure that you’re not going to eat me?”
“No, I am not going to eat you.”
“Okay, good. If you were a group of squirrels in a pony costume pretending to Rarity would you tell me?”
Rarity’s eyes widened slightly. Her tail slapped against his legs as her body twitched under the verbal assault that was his question. For a moment she looked like she was about to stuff her hoof back into his mouth but, with a herculean amount of restraint, she stopped herself.
“…Yes, I do believe I would tell you if… such a thing was a reality, James.”
James nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answers. “Alright. What about your doors?”
The unicorn sighed, shifting her weight slightly. “What about them?”
“Do you lock your doors at night or do you keep them open?”
Since she was starting to get a little uncomfortable with where she was lying, Rarity, scooched down James’s body just a hair. James, ever the gentlemen, helped her by gently picking her up and putting her so that she was sitting on his stomach and not in his hard, bony sternum.
“Thank you, dear.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Yes well,” Rarity said, clearing her throat. “I have never felt the need to lock my doors. Ponyville is a very safe town after all.”
James took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “Well, I make sure to lock both my doors and my windows when I go to bed,”
The fashionista’s nose scrunched up cutely before she sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I must admit, when I first opened my eyes I very nearly jumped out of my fur when I saw that I had my hooves wrapped around your head and your face was pressed up against my stomach—”
“Tummy.”
“Stomach. Rarity immediately replied.
James’s eyes narrowed. “Tummy.”
“Oh sweet harmony, you are an adult, James, as am I. And the term that adults use is stomach.”
James coolly regarded Rarity’s frown. “No, in this situation tummy is more appropriate,” he said, reaching up to poke her side. “Stomach is a cold, clinical term that you’re supposed to use when you’re at meetings with strangers or writing letters.”
A small blush came to Rarity’s cheeks as he gave her stomach a few more pokes.
“You use tummy when you’re with someone that you’re familiar with and they have a soft, furry little tum-tum that you just want to press your face against,” James continued, with all of the confidence of an Oxford professor.
Rarity leaned back, as if she was afraid to catch his nonsense.“…I do not very much like the term “tum-tum”, James dear.”
“Which is why I used the term tummy. It’s much more politically correct. Rolls off the tongue a little bit better too I find. Actually—”
“AS I WAS SAYING,” Rarity snapped, lightly tapping him on the forehead. “I was, at first, concerned as to why were you sleeping in my bed and why you were using my stomach as a pillow. But now… well to be frank, now I am just wondering why you are here…”
Rarity bit her lip, her ears pinning themselves against her head. “I can tell that you are just as confused as I to how you wound up here, James dear, and I know you aren’t devious enough to try anything ungentlemanly with this lady.”
“You’re right,” James interrupted with a nod. “Which means that you’re the culpr—ow!”
“Which means that somepony must have crept into your home last night and carried you into my bedroom.
“Really?” James muttered, an eyebrow raised. “Why the heck would anyone do something weird like that?”
Rarity’s eyes narrowed as she peered off into the distance, deep in thought. Her tail flicked side-to-side, tickling his legs. “That is a very good question… A question that I intend to find out…”
“…Rarity? Could you please get off of me?”
“Not now dear, I’m thinking. In the zone as it were.”
With a hum, Rarity laid herself back on top of him, resting her chin on top of his chest. James looked up at the mare for a moment before he let his head fall back onto the pillow. His hands, the devious devils, reached up and began to scratch her sides. A coo escaped Rarity’s throat as, with a happy wiggle, she made herself comfortable.
That warmth, that comfort that James had felt when he had first woken up came back in full force. He found himself taking a deep breath as he closed it eyes.
“Take your time,” he muttered, yawning hugely. “I don’t have nothing to do today.”
“You don’t have anything to do today.”
“That too.”
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I ship it.
Rarity's tum-tum and James' head, I mean.
7347032
Hehe...
This made me giggle
It took me all of three sentences to fall in love with the concept of this story. Delightfully silly and simple.
Just one nitpick - Mrs. Rarity? She's married?
Apart from that, amusing start! Let's see what happens next
*reads first paragraph*
Aaaaand favorite
It's "Sois tranquille", but "Détends toi" is better.
On one hand, I think PonyXHuman Romances are a bit weird, and somewhat neckbeardy. On the other, I am A-OK with PonyXHuman cuddles, and these are some high quality cuddles performed by expert snugglebugs.
I shall simply have to read the fic in its entirety... yes that is clearly the only option.
I only favorite because of the cover picture
7348351 I have to agree with that last sentence.
How did they miss the part where they know each other on a first-name basis?
7349265 that's simple, it seems like they've already known each other for a while. The description of the story just says he woke up in her bed, not that he just popped up into her bed from earth. I'm just assuming he's been in equestria for a decent period of time.
Typo
whose
James jolted once more as the little hamster in his head increased its pace from a trot to a canter.
And at that moment I got the mental image of a cute little pony hamster hybrid running on a rusty wheel it's fucking adorable.
Interesting story so far. Not quite along the lines of what I normally read, but funny enough to catch my attention. I'm hoping the explaination of why they know eachother comes up later.
I hope you don't mind me posting typos I find. If you don't want me to post them, or to edit them out of the comments after you are done with them, please let me know.
This vould be explained farther into the story. If so, then ignore this one, but unless Rarity has gotten married, it should be "Ms. Rarity".
Two things. You are missing a space at the first underline.
Second, when already inside of a quotation, the inner mark should be single marks. So, "term 'tum-tum', James".
Super daww
jumping holy sweet marmalade fish butts on a stick!
that was really cute! and kudos on that squirrel costume theory!
woot!
Slight things:
Those -thmp's you're using... is that the sound James makes when whacked, or is that an onomatopoeic word for being hit? If it's the latter, then it should read something like
Not sure if the T should be capitalised though....
Right near the beginning, it should read
Or
Although I think the first reads much better.
Minor things, and I think the first issue works okay as is. As for the actual story, this is looking to be a glorious cuddle-glomp festiva that I can't wait to read as I sickly snuggle my furry hot water bottle and secretly wish it were shy pone or marshmallow pone
What cute imagery. I would want one as a pillow too
Hmmm, interesting start! I like the imagery you used with the hamster wheel, very vivid. I do find myself wondering how they know each other, and what James is doing in ponyland.
It's cute, in any case. :)
till now I really don't know if I like the Human character here.
Adorable and silly, thumbs up mate.
You should really cite the source website of the cover image you use. There is a line in the story settings specifically meant for referring to the source url.
It took me a while to track it down, but this is the original source:
http://docnyaka.deviantart.com/art/Rarity-569286493
Their investigation will need generous amounts of coffee. But may that not come to pass, for the adorableness would surely suffer.
7347032 There are no alternatives.
Very cute.
I like your imagery with the hamsters and the weed-whacker. Very funny!
Though I'm not sure if Rarity would be the type of business owner that would take kindly to a union getting formed
Before Sassy Saddles and the sales mares in Manehatten, she didn't even have employees.
Ah, a scholar! Very well done educating our dear marshmallow on the nature of distinguishing stomachs from tummy's sir. But what about bellies and tickle-buttons?
7632159
Whether or not I'm feeling clinical, I prefer to limit contextual ambiguity, so I restrict my use of "stomach" to the internal organ, going for words like "belly" when I'm feeling too clinical for "tummy".
Good sir do i detect Humor in your writings?
Stop that this instant! This is getting entirely too silly!
All my yes
Remarks and corrections:
> and Mrs. Rarity
Fairly sure that's Ms. Rarity! She's not a married woman!
> who’s tummy he appeared to have been using as a pillow
"who's" = "who is". This should be "[whose] tummy".
> “Yes dear?”
"dear" is an addressing term. Those should be separated from the rest of the sentence with commas, so this should be "Yes, dear?"
> Détends toi
Almost. Should be "Détends-toi"
> Not now dear, I’m thinking.
Add a comma before "dear".
May I inquire as to how old this James is? Because I have not ever heard anyone I know say "I don't have nothing to do".
Love the hamsters
It’s this kind of story that gets my heart warm and giggling like an idiot. Man I wish I was in James’ position, what a cute family!!