hmmm i will follow this for know, but i think rainbow flash as pretty much an older copy of rainbow dash. their names rhyme and both have the same cutie mark story except the mum did a flash instead of a rainbow

.

Now that was a very nice start ^^ let's go to the next chapter  

This seems promising, I like it. Makes me want a sister too

A quick note: in that image, the other two foals are actually her brothers, I believe.  Just a heads up.

I'll also follow this for now. Not many grammar mistakes from what I can't see, but I am horrible at correcting and the story is really cute. The only problem is that the chapters are short. I'd go into full detail to make it longer and add more scenes.  But hey in my book this is WAY better then Dash Eats Meat which only god knows how it got onto the top five stories thing. I can't wait to see where it goes! And if you ever need help writing just ask me, I can always help.

This seems good. Favoriting so I can foallow it.

well, now I know where the tragedy comes from... let's see, where this goes *fav*

I'm following this.  Seems interesting...plus I'm a huge RD fan so the whole sisters concept intrigues me

Is this story in relation to my little rainbows???

A few mistakes, but otherwise it's a giant pile of D'AWWW

It looks pretty interesting to me.

Granted, I see potential here. It's understandable to know that it would be quite difficult to come up with family names for a character such as Rainbow Dash

It's seems preety good I'll be anticipating for more to come

cool i cant wait to see where this gose

two months older? two years older would be better. No pregnancy is two months long. Horse pregnancy is 11 months and human pregnancy is nine months. Some authors go with five months for a unicorn foal.

So Rainbow Dash had parent problems huh, so sad to here that.

this...this is adorable.....I salute you for epic d'aww harvesting powers.

oh yeah! real quick, I noticed that Rainbow Flash's cutie mark story was just a little too short for a true bedtime story. good show other than that.

>>780700780700

No, um, I've never heard of that story.

>>781182781182

Yeah, I wasn't trying to be very realistic (and it also leaves me an opening to come in later and say that she was adopted), but I was really just trying to find an age so that she could fly, but wasn't likely to have gotten her cutie mark yet. I was more writing this as a joke story actually, just something to do in my spare time. I didn't really like it myself, and I REALLY was not expecting it to take off as much as it did. That's why the chapters are so short, and there are so little details. Now that I know it's so popular, I'll try and be better.

Mind telling me how it's possible that spectrum is only 2 months older? I'm pretty sure a pregnancy takes longer than 2 months

So Rainbow Dash knew Fluttershy or at least met her before summer flight camp intresting, it's still too early right now to tell where this is going.

Interesting, but this feels like a story I'm not reading. Like I'm flipping through a photo album.

There's no plot... yet. I'm not going to drop my favorite yet, because there has to be somewhere you're going with this.

Interesting...i'm going to see how this plays out.  Good start

Nice! Can't wait for more. Although Golden Delicious is right, sooner or later you've gotta put a plot in here.

I guess this explains why we never see Dash's parents or her siblings.

This whole little plot about the adoption thing is pretty all of a sudden, I'm guessing there is going to be more of an explanation as the story goes on.

SO SAD!

This adoption thing was a bit too sudden for me. More showing, less telling!

Your exposition is very rushed; you give very little detail, instead relying heavily on dialogue to try and show us what's going on. 1/5 stars.

>>846711846711

I know. That's my style for this story. I try to do each story a tad differently than the others that I write. The one I did previous to this (Aviators: Friendship) does not have nearly as much dialogue and relies more on details. However, there will be more action in this story, but it is difficult to explain things that happened in the past without dialogue unless you do flashbacks, which I tried to steer clear of in this particular fanfic. There will be less dialogue when the sisters actually make their escape, but for now, it's dialogue and journals.

>>846650846650

I really like this gif.

Now everything makes sense, I feel bad for Rainbow Dash and Daydream because they probably don't even know they had a brother!

Why would Rainbow Dash and Daydream want to escape, Rainbow Flash is their mother, she just told Spectrum that she was adopted?

Sister loyalty.

Cloud is a prick and deserves to be casturated. He doesn't deserve to be called a father.

>>855777855777

Exactly.

Yea, older sister is only 2 months older, but they are all talking, quite comfortably, at less than 8 months, attempting to fly too. Something odd there.

interesting read, nice to see that Cloud still wants his foals to be safe even if he wants nothing to do with their mom... he's still a dick

I just noticed, you didn't put an OC tag on this! Spectra & Daydream are far from canon!!

>>855805855805

Rainbow Dash isn't called the element of loyalty for nothing!

>>855891855891 OC means that he made them, they where made by someone else.

>>856067856067

...No, "OC" means "does not exist in the canon of whatever works are in the fic".

>>856096856096 "original character"

>>856133856133

...That's what OC stands for. I was explaining what an OC is.

Using someone else's OC doesn't stop them from being an OC.

There's a special place in pony hell for cloud.

>>856065856065

That is correct!

Dash ends up being a 'twinless twin'? Something fishy with that. I had to reread things four or five time to be sure it was Dash who had a twin.

I called it... Dash is a 'twinless twin' afterall.

aww... they all died

DASHIE NOO!

I'd love to see a chapter in the future where she's going through archives as a punsihment at camp and finds an old newspaper article on her sisters' bodies being found, and the mother being devastated with worry for her other daughter.

I like the story, but my only nit-pick is that you don't really go into much detail about what is going on.

I mean, the description of the backgrounds and characters is pretty good but the pacing is pretty quick and we aren't given enough time to adjust to what is going on. You quickly explain that nearly a year had passed since Rainbow returned home living on her own, you don't explain her emotions or feelings at all which left the story feel a little bit empty. She seemed to be pretty happy about joining the Fliers even though she had lost her family and would naturally cause devastation in the mind and soul.

Plus, how does one exactly "live off the house" for nearly an entire year without getting food and supplies?

>>868049868049

That would be great!

Good idea there!

Oh and

Poor Dashie...

That's why she doesn't have anymore family

~Rosalynn~

>>868400868400

I know a lot of people who can live off of the food in their house for a year or longer without running out. It's this nifty invention called "food storage."

>>868049868049

I might do something like that, but she wouldn't be at camp. If she was at camp, she'd be a filly, which means the article wouldn't be old. I'll probably have her be fetching something for Twilight.

>>867718867718 Not nessciarly Spectrum and Daydream might have been killed but from what we know Dashie's paretns are still alive and are loooking for her not knowing that she has gone back to her home, it's kind of like "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" where Rudolph runs away from home and comes bakc a few years later only to find that his parents and his childhood friend have already set looking for him and haven't been seen in days.

>>869424869424 I'd think it's the other way around. Her mom would atleast go home once and awhile... Her dad, well I wouldn't put it past him to have given up and moved on. Actually I think he'd still be looking too but I don't think he'd go back to the house

>>855891855891

Sorry, the OC tag is new. I DID put an 'other' tag, if that helps. And I tried to make the story focus mostly on Dash as well.

>>869644869644 It's like I said they're still out searching for her so unless they were to have returned home which would only happen if they decided to give up they wouldn't be able to find her.

DASHIE!!! :,(

love the story but it felt rushed a bit

>>871334871334 how will this effect Dash's ability to be around others

>>878887878887

How will what affect her ability to be around others?

>>888592888592 you know when someone has a great loss especially that young it affects their ability to socialise because they prefer to be alone

>>889359889359

I figured that's what you were talking about; just wanted to make sure. Since the show doesn't show her as being introverted at all, I figured I'd make her character brazen around others, but really, she goes home and is an emotional wreck. You'll see this in the final chapter.

>>890864890864 thanks for the heads up

>>780971780971 im trying to be sad but thats making me laugh

>>846650846650

o'mally's a brony well somebody better tell darkwing

I'd like more detail. Your story is good, but your execution doesn't match the plot very much. What I mean by that is, your plot is compelling, but you need to go into more detail. A lot just happened, and you didn't go into very much detail at all. Overall I feel like you're just skimming over the action, like you can't wait to get to the next part of the story, but this is the one part where you should be doing anything but skimming.

WE NEED TO SEE SPECTRUM'S PARENTS IN THE STORY!!!!!