Thanks to breaking laws,Dashie and fluttershy go to jail,But they meet up with somepony who almost ruined fluttershy's life.
What is this I don't even..
All I have to say is get an editor.
oh mah gawd dis iz so gud it shud git fetured
Your longest chapter is 300 bloody words...
This DID not need to be split up into 9 chapters!
Also, proof read before posting.
This is worse than my friend Kate's writing... And that's saying something.
OH DAMN. Jail, here we come!
Are you sure this isn't a troll fic? If you advertise it as one, more people will be understanding of it and its (no offense) badness. It's funny, actually.
I'm pretty sure I just read the whole story by reading the chapter titles.
What the hell did I just read?
This story earns five Twilights... and not the good kind.
This is undeniably a troll fic.
All hail the butthurt you caused.
How the devil did this get approved?!
>>832881832881 So true.
Oh God, read this thing... Can't. Stop Laughing!
Am I high? Because this fic just made me laugh my ass off.
I will not read any piece with THAT many typos in the god damn DESCRIPTION. Sorry.
You put periods in the fucking title. Read a book. You'll see what's wrong.
Congratulations. You just showed us the outline to a fic that MIGHT have been interesting. If this is your finished product, I can sum up my reaction in one picture:
3 things that need to happen regardless:
-Expand on the idea
-Get a proofreader
-Read one of the many very good fics on this site or hit up EQD for some VERY good fanfics that will give you insight on how to properly write a story. I recommend Shipping and Handling, Fun with Changelings, A Slice of Life, Smoke and Mirrors, Antipodes, and Background Pony to name a few. The point is to get an idea of how proper stories are actually written.
I feel like I'm being trolled. Not by the writer, but by the mods.
I'm probably not even gonna read based on the reviews here.....
Sorry,Im just not good at my fanfics..
Plus,I just randomly came up with this...Im a beginner.
Plus,I have no idea how i came up with this...I am sorry.
* Sigh * If you didnt know,Im british. /:
Plus,Im editing it.
>>835148835148 OK, I think you may need some music therapy. I've got this!
dafuq? I mean seriously? Rainbow Dash told Fluttershy to break a law? and Fluttershy KINDa accepted it? And that lever? dafuq where did that lever come? someone constructed it? LOLOLOLOLOL This must be a trollfic... Cause if it's not then I am gonna go crazy over the physics...
Also,I told rainbow to break 50 laws with fluttershy,So i can get you guys revenge." <----- dafuq? Rainbow Dash ACTUALLY accepted it? OMG ROFL
Oh and that teen pony? I am like now
Ok, Deep Breath, Deep Breath...
Ok that settled out.
My every single reactions while I was reading these:
At first of all, I saw this... It was labeled "Dark" and I was like
But then, I noticed that this WAS THE MOST FUNNY THING EVER!
EVEN WITH GORE!
WHO WAS FONE?
I am sure this is a trollfic...
Oops. Ok I am REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry...
I didn't say those to criticize or make you feel bad so please don't take it the other way
It's just that... you really need to improvise the story...
I mean this story can become something really sad, gorish, but somehow beautiful romance...
There is so much wrong with this.
I'm not sure where to start.
just. no. JUST. NO. OKAY? JUST! NO!