Rumble and his brother moves from Cloudsdale to Ponyville. After a week of unpacking everything in his new home, Rumble goes on his first day of school, he plans to make new friends on his first day, but then on his first day he notices an orange pegasus filly with a purple mane by the name of Scootaloo. Scootaloo even notices him, will they confess on how they feel?
This is my first story, so you don't have to like it. But anyways, enjoy!
Cover Name: Rumbleloo
*EDIT* Changed ratings from Everyone to Teen, I have my own reasons.
*EDIT 2* This fic is currently on hiatus due to me working on My Little Arkham 2.
Chapters (4)
7302279 Yeah, sure.
I knew that Scoots would fall of him soon, but not love right away. I may stop reading this story, it just how I write Rumble and seeing him well like how everyone does is just weird. I'm a kid, but I'm just as grown up like my brother. What is wrong with having Rumble be a kid, or how I write him, a dork?
7302861 I've edited the chapter. I fixed that Scootaloo didn't fall for him right away. Sorry I messed up there, but she still developed a crush on him because of his looks.
He said wi
Found an error
7308680 Where?
7309815
When rumble I. Talking to miss cheerilee
It says "he said wi"
Cute, but I downvoted cuz hidden reasons.
Did he also have foal-sitters?
7316475 Yes, I totally forgot about it.
CAUTION! Foal-sitters incoming!!!
Okay, not actually too bad for starting writing; I doubt I could do much better. But I recommend finding a popular story you really like and compare it to what you have written. Now, I'm not saying copy everything they do, just take note of how they characterize, pacing, all sorts of aspects of writing. Although if you do this, make sure the story you are gathering this from is a good example, but hey, as long as you like the writing it probably will be fine.
7785497 Thanks! And actually, I have been doing that for what you suggested. But the next chapter won't probably be out for a while, due to personal reasons.
Author, you need to create games. You have a perfectly constructed dialogue. I feel like I'm back in Skyrim.
Am I the only one who thinks the quotes are a little bit dull?
Nice fanfic!
Er, so ... the hiatus was set up for the "My Little Arkham" second installment story, right?
9308602
Yes.
"It's just that I'm poor and my brother is too lazy to get a job, that's it." he said, Scootaloo then rolled her eyes, she is glad she doesn't have a sibling like that.
"Wow, your life must suck right now,"
Lol when i read that i died laughing internally.
Also this:
"Thunderlane I swear, out of all the ponies I know. You make the dumbest excuses and laziest decisions, and this stallion happens to be my coltfriend!"
Three of my OTPs are in this.
*SQUEEEEEE*
Is this continuing?